Chapter 31: Gangsters > Poetry
Pinkamena Diane Pie literally starts the battle out with a bang. She lights the fuse on her
Rocket Propelled Chainsaw, which shoots out another spinning tool of death at Shakespeare's Rouge! And yes, that's Rouge, not Rogue. He wears pink. It's not unmanly, okay? Though it is a pretty bad color for being concealed. Wearing pink clothing when you're a sneaky criminal, that's as stupid as....uh....like a ninja wearing bright orange or something. (4 vs. 5) His nimbleness allows him to jump away from the chainsaw, sending it smashing into the side of the theater. The Rouge retaliates by tossing a spinning Throwing Knife at the pinky pony. (6 vs. 2) Pinkamena stands on her hind legs.
"I'll catch it!" She catches it indeed. With her chest.
Sherlock Holmes goes for a much more subtle route. He quietly changes into a servant's disguise, and circles behind Shakespeare's men. As he berates, he also begins tampering with their weaponry. (5 vs. 2) He manages to secretly mess with the Archer's Shortsword, the Vanguard's Greataxe, the Knight's Greatsword, and the Rouge's Curved Dagger.
Jackie Estacado pulls out his two 1911 pistols and fires away at Hamlet. (5 vs. 1) The bullets blast holes in Hamlet, and he falls onto his back. He begins to die, going into some soliloquy about the harshness of life and some emo shit. Tybalt, meanwhile, starts insulting Jackie's mother. Jackie responds by sending his Darkness Arms at Tybalt. (4 vs. 5-1) Out of brashness and generally insanity, Tybalt's sporadic sword stabs, which looks more like a giraffe doing the Dougie, manages to keep the darkness at bay.
Gordon Freeman 2.0 sees Tybalt acting like a lunatic, and walks up to him. Tybalt yells at him,
"DUEL ME YOU SON OF A PIG-WHORE!" Gordon shrugs and obliges. (3 vs. 5-1) He swings the crowbar, but Tybalt parries away the blow! Damn, that's a strong Rapier. The Prince of Cats counter-attacks and thrusts at Freeman, (4+1 vs. 6) and manages to connect! The metal is deflected off of the scientist's hard H.E.V. suit. What ensues is Tybalt stabbing at Freeman multiple times and failing to penetrate the armor, while he looks at him awkwardly.
The Boss starts out with the same brave tactic as he always does: Calling his soldiers in to fight for him. Pulling up Oleg's number on his Cell, the Boss decides to give the Russian Giant a call. (5)
"Yes, I am quite available. See you soon." (Oleg will come next turn.) With a successful call behind him, the Saint pulls an Annihilator out of his pants and fires it at
William Shakespeare! (6 vs. 4) The Rocket misses the Bard, but manages to explode a few feet next to him. The explosion propels the Englishman several feet into the air.
"To fly like a bird/in the clouds/beyond the-" he falls on his face.
"I want that hat!" Rainbow Dash speeds at the Julius Caesar Actor, aiming to snatch his hat. Well, it's not really a hat, just a Laurel Crown, but whatever. (5 vs. 2) Her Katana cuts deeply into his side, knocking him down. As he tries to recover, Dashie zooms in and steals his wreath, before flying into the air again.
"Awww yeah!"While
King Arthur is perplexed by the Englishman on the stage, at least this setting is much more of his style. The fellows around him, while trying to kill him, don similar types of armory wear. The King proceeds up to Hamlet, and asks if he fancies a duel. Hamlet responds by gurgling out blood.
"I'm glad you could accept. En grade!" (4 vs. 3-2) King Arthur drives his Sword into Hamlet's chest, killing him instantly. He pulls his blade out.
"Indeed a fair challenge."Cyan Garamonde inspects
Teddy's Pistol in his hands. Seeing a Crossbowman on the higher level of the arena, the Samurai fires a shot at him. (4-1 vs. 3) The shot misses, and hits a rafter near the Crossbowman, altering him of Cyan's presence.
(Yes, Dashie's Katana is the oldest item the party has held onto. Also, did you forget Cyan has a penalty against using modern weaponry?
)
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle rants at the wounded Julius Caesar actor, and points his Lee Enfield at his face, before pulling the trigger. (5 vs. 1) The bullet tears into the psuedo-Roman's forehead and out the back of his skull. He falls back onto the theater floor.
The Archer, scoping the battle from the second floor, loads an arrow into his English Longbow. Seeing how
Jackie Estacado was armed with automatic cannons and had two demons coming out of him, it looked like the Princes of Darkness would be a suitable target. (2 vs. 6) The arrow flies at Jackie, before one of his arms lashes out and tears it to pieces. Jackie looks at the source of the attack, and fires his pistols back at the Archer. (2 vs. 1) The Archer runs from the flurry of bullets, though not really strike him. One manages to skim his foot, but it's hardly an injury at all as his boot takes most of the impact.
The Man-at-Arms, the lightly trained and speedy English soldier, runs up to
The Boss and swings his Mace at the gang leader. (3 vs. 6) The Saint jumps away from the spiked club, (5 vs. 2) and retaliates with his famous 'Spinkick to the Nuts' maneuver. It connects, and the Man-at-Arms on all fours, clutching his jewels.
The Vanguard looks at the 'servant' inspecting his men and his equipment. (2 vs. 1) Wait a second, that's no servant!
"We have a traitor in our midst!" The Vanguard pulls up his Greataxe and cleaves it at
Sherlock Holmes. (6-1 vs. 4) Sherlock's tampering with the axe causes it to swing off-center! And it does, cutting him across his right thigh. As his wound spurts blood he comments,
"Quite an unexpected result indeed." He smokes his pipe.
The Knight, guardian of Shakespeare, sees
Cyan Garamonde attempt to kill his employer. The enraged Knight grips his Greatsword, and charges the Samurai. (3-1 vs. 5) Due to the tampering of Sherlock, the Greatsword breaks into two pieces when it connects with Cyan's armor. As the Knight is surprised, Garamonde takes this opportunity to slash with both his Katanas! (1 vs. 4) He manages to lightly scrap the Knight's Plate Armor.
The Crossbowman loads a bolt into his weapon.
As
The Boss taunts the Man-at-Arms whom is reeling the pain, the Rouge takes this opportunity to come up and slash him in the back! (4-1 vs. 3) He makes a deep gash in the Saint's shirt! Damn, that shirt was expensive!
Tybalt continues stabbing away at
Gordon Freeman 2.0. He pants at the impossible object in front of them. Then he makes a realization, Gordon isn't wearing any armor on his face! (1+1 vs. 3) Tybalt, stabs his Rapier at the newly discovered weak spot, but Gordon parries his blade with his Crowbar. (1 vs. 6-1) Tybalt parries the Crowbar away... What's that thing made of?
The Elite Mongolian Warriors charge the Rouge! (6 vs. 5) The nimble assailant manages to evade their weaponry. So, the Mongols initiate plan B: They grab him and start Curbstomping him into the ground.
William Shakespeare stands up and dusts himself off, having been hit by a rocket. Angry that his flight was cut short, he aims a Pistol and fires at
The Boss. (2 vs. 5) The Saint rolls out of the way, (5 vs. 3) and brings out his Dual .45 Shepards and shoot the Bard in the Left Leg!
"This Thug/is getting/to my head/woe." He falls over.
William ShakespeareHealth:
Hit by Explosion, Shot in Left LegMood:
All the world's a stage/and I am a boot/that steps on the world/smash/I win.
Archer: The finest in the islands, could shoot an apple off of another apple.
Items: Longbow, Shortsword (Tampered)
Health: Foot Minor Shot
Man-at-Arms: A trained soldier equipped to handle military operations.
Items: Light Plate Armor, Mace, Throwing Axes
Agile: 50% chance of getting +1 to defense.
Health: Stunned (-1 to all rolls this turn)
Vanguard: A heavily armored killer with a long-reaching weapons.
Items: Chain Mail, Greataxe (Tampered), Halberd
Health: Fine
Knights: A noble and fearsome warrior out to fight for his king...er, princess.
Items: Heavy Plate Armor, Greatsword (Broken), Morning Star, Kite Shield
Glacier: Heavy resistance to damage, -1 movement.
Health: Fine
Crossbowman: Like the archer guy, but with more Crossbow.
Items: Crossbow, Short Sword
Crossbow: Takes 1 turn to load, gets +1 on attack.
Health: Fine
Rouge: A skilled criminal hired by Shakespeare.
Items: Curved Dagger (Tampered), Throwing Knives
Kleptomaniac: A successful attacks steals a random item from the target.
Health: Curbstomped
Tybalt: Don't date his cousin...er...sister...aunt...I read R&J a long time ago. I think.
Items: Rapier
Testosterone Issues: +1 to attack, -1 to defense.
Health: Fine
Pinkamena Diane Pie
Items: Rocket Propelled Chainsaw, Butcher Knife, Scalpel, WWI Trench Helmet, Amputation Kit
Health: Chest Impaled
Cyan Garamonde
Items: 2 Katanas, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camouflage, Light U.S. Armor, Bronze Bars, Fragmentation Grenade, Teddy's Pistol
Health: Fine
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades, ToadyOne's Legendary Longbow
Health: Fine
King Arthur
Items: Plate Armor, Sword, Shield, Dashie's Katana
Health: Fine
Jackie Estacado
Items: Dual 1911s, Micro Uzi, Shotgun, AK47
Health: Fine
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle
Items: Webley Mk.IV, Lee Enfield No.IV Mk.I
Health: Fine
Sherlock Holmes
Items: Disguises, Pipe
Health: Cut Right Thigh, Bleeding
The Boss
Items: Dual .45 Shepards, Dual Tek Z-10, The Penetrator, Grave Digger, K-8 Krukov, Annihilator, McManus 2015, Fragmentation Grenades, Molotov Cocktails, Farts in a Jar, Electric Grenades, Phone
Health: Fine
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown
Health: Fine
Elite Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Composite Bows, Halberds, Anti-Calavry Lances, Augmented Mongolian Armor
Health: 30/30 Warriors
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Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 321572 times)