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Author Topic: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!  (Read 15533 times)

blackmagechill

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You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« on: June 08, 2012, 04:35:59 pm »

You stand in your dirt floor hovel next to that fire place that you have pissed in many a times to keep it from burning your pile of hay that you sleep on. You had a stroke of luck yesterday and happened upon an overturned cart full of amazingly resilient glass and ceramic bottles, and a man with a piece of bratwurst lodged deep in his cold, dead throat. Seeking to profit from this sausage based death, you quickly plundered as man of his bottles as you could, carrying them in mortars and empty jugs, jars, and pitchers. Your house is positively teeming with dangerous liquids, powders and plants.

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What do you do?
« Last Edit: June 08, 2012, 05:01:31 pm by blackmagechill »
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Scelly9

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2012, 04:39:59 pm »

Combine random things!
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
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Lord Inquisitor

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2012, 04:44:35 pm »

do it the skyrim and dwarfy way, Taste things at random. Excepting the eggs.
Also required equipment is a Outhouse or suitable cesspit. Also clothes peg for the smell. or wrap piece of tunic/rucksack around as protection.
 Do not do experiments inside our house, we want to be safe dont we.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2012, 04:46:11 pm by Lord Inquisitor »
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http://cataclysm.tiddlyspot.com/index.html Cataclysm Roguelike game Tiddlywiki mostly out of date
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=113337.0 Who makes alcohol? do you? post here then.

Scelly9

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2012, 04:47:26 pm »

Taste things at random.
...
we want to be safe dont we.
-_-
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

lawastooshort

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2012, 04:51:40 pm »

Taste things at random.
+1

But go to the swimwear store first; buy something fetching with the farthings (lime green if available) and change into it before experimenting.
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Mr. Palau

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm »

Mix the two liquids in the pitcher, ground eggs with mortat, pour eggs in mixture. Wait for results.
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you can't just go up to people and get laid.

blackmagechill

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm »

    You decide to fish out one of those long stemmed plants and eat it. It is delicious! The after taste then takes effect and your mouth feels dry and tastes bitter. You continue with your taste trials, deciding to drink the shiny aqua liquid (just a taste). The acid burns your mouth and throat, and you begin to sputter and gasp! You vomit after a coughing fit, and it lands on your hay sleeping pile. You will flip it over at night fall and hope for the best. You taste the jug! It is ceramic.


    After your self destructive and possibly life threatening tasting trials you decide to go to the swimwear shop. Unfortunately, being medieval times, you swim naked. After waffling the idea of buying lime green paint, you decide against it. You go to the cloak store and see a cloak for five pence. You attempt to purchase, only to realize that you have six farthings, which are not equal to  five pence.


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Mr. Palau

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2012, 05:10:02 pm »

Put liquid in pitcher, put egg in pitcher. Wait for results.
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lawastooshort

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2012, 05:13:21 pm »

Put liquid in pitcher, put egg in pitcher. Wait for results.
+1, but set it on fire if nothing happens after, say, 15 minutes.

The ideal thing would be to develop some kind of smoke bomb, so we can go to the cloak store and steal the cloak under cover of smoke, and then go swimming.

If that fails we'll need to develop some green paint.
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blackmagechill

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2012, 05:14:27 pm »

You urinate in the pitcher, and toss in a rotten egg.
That didn't actually just happen, but you can get the idea of what happens if you don't specify liquids.
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Koronii

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2012, 05:15:25 pm »

Find some mercury. Drink the mercury. Enjoy our immortality!
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lawastooshort

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2012, 05:16:27 pm »

You urinate in the pitcher, and toss in a rotten egg.

What about setting it on fire?
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blackmagechill

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #12 on: June 08, 2012, 05:23:12 pm »

That wasn't canon, you need to specify a liquid.
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Grek

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2012, 05:27:24 pm »

Pour some of the acid into the pitcher and dissolve an egg in it.

Also, grind up one of the red leaves.
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LordBucket

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Re: You are a medieval ALCHEMIST!
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2012, 05:53:20 pm »

Quote
You are a ALCHEMIST!

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Go to glassmaker. Buy alchemy tools. Apparently we have none.
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