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most common cause of losing a fortress?

wildlife
goblin abmushes, sieges etc.
human abmushes, sieges etc.
elf abmushes, sieges etc.
titans, forgotten beasts, megabeasts
demons
magma
necromancers
undead
tantrum spiral
loyalty cascade
giant mosquito invasion

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Author Topic: 400 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION  (Read 68315 times)

Sprin

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #165 on: September 08, 2012, 06:50:15 pm »
226. 4 legendery milita men cant allways beat a seige 5 on the other hand... also dosnt work... might just be me...

What was that spear made of?
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Quote from: Karnewarrior
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS LOOKING UP RULE 34 OF D*CKS?
Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on November 30, 2016, 02:20:55 pm
Sprin is certifiably insane, but there is no denying his brilliance.

Nyxalinth

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #166 on: September 08, 2012, 06:57:17 pm »
Quote from: Sprin on September 08, 2012, 06:50:15 pm
226. 4 legendery milita men cant allways beat a seige 5 on the other hand... also doesn't work... might just be me...

What was that spear made of?

Copper, but I haven't found any iron yet.  My fort is awash in silver, gold, and copper.  No tin either, alas.  It has pictures of two previous artifacts and the king on it.  Considering previous artifacts were all flood gates, hatches, trinkets or musical instruments, to me it's quite nice :)
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

Sprin

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #167 on: September 08, 2012, 07:00:42 pm »
neet spear crapy material...
I once had a sword made of ZINC!
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Quote from: Karnewarrior
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS LOOKING UP RULE 34 OF D*CKS?
Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on November 30, 2016, 02:20:55 pm
Sprin is certifiably insane, but there is no denying his brilliance.

Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #168 on: September 08, 2012, 07:05:00 pm »
227. Forgetting about a moody clothier when you have no hope of growth besides births can and will cost you one dwarf (or in my case a human.) This will be an unrecoverable blow, made worse if they had a lover or spouse.

228. A force of poorly equipped soldiers who have been trained since year one are suprisingly effective. Unfortunatly, you won't get to watch them kick more ass when the save is corrupted.

229. Fear them oldass humans. Some of those old farts can and will dive tackle into the enemy and remove thier target's head. (To explain, I had a 105 year old great great grandmother beat the shit out of an ambush alone with a shoddily made iron sowrd and now armor. fist kill had the appearance of her diving into the goblins and coming out the other side with a severed goblin sergeant's head.)

230. We're probably pissing of Hurize to no end by posting in this thread.

Quote from: Sprin on September 08, 2012, 07:00:42 pm
neet spear crapy material...
I once had a sword made of ZINC!

I once got one made of sterling silver. Liked it so much it's the weapon of a character in a story I'm writing and was the tool of that badass grandma mentioned above, if only because she beat the milita commander and the other sword guy to it. I only wish she had it before that fight.

EDIT: 230. Don't let your people in charge of meeting diplomats do hobby beekeeping. they'll spend all thier time collecting from the hives.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2012, 07:08:02 pm by Splint »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #169 on: September 09, 2012, 01:30:33 am »
Quote from: Sprin on September 08, 2012, 07:00:42 pm
neet spear crapy material...
I once had a sword made of ZINC!

231 : Zinc does not explosively react, even when lodged in fire :(
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hanni79

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #170 on: September 11, 2012, 12:36:20 am »
232 : If magma does not help, try a well placed cave-in.
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GalenEvil

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #171 on: September 11, 2012, 01:04:07 am »
233: If well placed cave-in's do not work, apply much more magma :D
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Fun is Fun......Done is Done... or is that Done is !!FUN!!?
Quote from: Mr Frog
Digging's a lot like surgery, see -- you grab the sharp thing and then drive the sharp end of the sharp thing in as hard as you can and then stuff goes flying and then stuff falls out and then there's a big hole and you're done. I kinda wish there was more screaming, but rocks don't hurt so I guess it can't be helped.

Sus

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #172 on: September 11, 2012, 01:05:11 am »
233: Always dig a well ASAP. Always.
234: Make sure your militia is all geared up before trouble arrives. An empty waterskin or a missing sock equals suicide run.
 234(a): When under siege, forbid everything outdoors.
235: Levers will always be pulled by the idle dorf furthest away from the lever. Plan accordingly.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2012, 01:07:57 am by Sus »
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Quote from: Moogie on February 08, 2012, 06:23:42 am
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
Quote from: SuicideJunkie on May 02, 2012, 11:47:40 pm
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #173 on: September 11, 2012, 01:17:11 am »
236. Giant moles are suprisingly resiliant enemies, which can and will killa decently equipped and trained miner if it manages to knock him down.

236a. Giant moles make for a good herding and fighting animal for six dwarves living disconnected from the outside world.

237. Dwarven soldiers armed with training weapons can become remarkably well skilled terrifyingly fast without growing attached to thier toothpicks while beating the shit out of an alligator four six months straight.

237a. Dwarven soldiers can go a suprisingly long time without getting hungry, tired, or thirsty when unencumbered with lots of heavy gear.

238. Dwarves will often severely injure thier friends if somebody they didn't know dies in front of them following two unwelled pond drinks and a nap in the grass.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2012, 12:49:00 pm by Splint »
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hanni79

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #174 on: September 11, 2012, 12:09:26 pm »
239 : "Levers will always be pulled by the idle dorf furthest away from the lever. Plan accordingly." That means, get hold of a vampire and build a control-room.
239a NEVER forget to add a control function for the vampire itself. Having a crazy vampire Dwarf rampaging in your first middle and last line of defence can really wreak havoc....
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Berossus

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #175 on: September 11, 2012, 01:06:35 pm »
240. Goblins plant trees strategically to block the exit paths of caravans, many seasons in advance, so they can safely ambush, rape and eat your legendary woodcutters, most possibly in that order, when he goes to chop down that single tree at the end of the world so the caravan can leave.
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My son, many speak of the honor in war.
My preferred method is to wait until their back is turned, then impale them with a pike held by someone else.
Preferrably from a distance.

C27

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #176 on: September 11, 2012, 03:34:04 pm »
241. Obsidian short swords are not a wise choice to base your militia around. Things got ugly very quickly.
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Gold is for the mistress– silver for the maid–
Copper for the craftsman, cunning at his trade.
‘Good!’ said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
‘But iron– cold iron– is ruler of them all’.

Gamerboy4life

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #177 on: September 11, 2012, 03:47:51 pm »
242: Bridges crush YOUR guys, too.
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Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #178 on: September 11, 2012, 04:22:11 pm »
243. SOldiers can and will commit suicide by walking out into a siege for absolutly no reason. Literally no reaso> no equippment was out there, nothing. Just walked out and died, and he was perfectly happy. I have since save scummed and will at least get some other soldiers back.
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Princess Celestia

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #179 on: September 12, 2012, 07:41:25 pm »
244. A three tile wide entrance is really nice, as it allows traders into the safety of my fortress.

244a. A three tile wide entrance is really nice, as it allows a titan plenty of room to wipe out my fortress.
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