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Author Topic: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say  (Read 1004232 times)

The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1215 on: September 26, 2012, 02:49:07 pm »

I still want to get a whip round going to see if I can rent the entire country of Luxembourg some day. Just for the sake of being able to say that we'd rented an entire country for a day.
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Karnewarrior

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1216 on: September 26, 2012, 03:17:25 pm »

It's not easy to see, only one or four pixels in fact, but there's a definite gray spot in the center of Luxembourg where the goodyear is. I'm not sure about individual houses though.

I still want to get a whip round going to see if I can rent the entire country of Luxembourg some day. Just for the sake of being able to say that we'd rented an entire country for a day.
And on that day you order by law that a giant fence be constructed to keep the neighbors out of your country, and the Great Wall of Luxembourg becomes the second largest construct on the planet. Finally, people begin to pay attention to Luxembourg, and boldened by their newfound success, the officials of the country declare war on Belgium.

As Luxembourg scrambles from the ashes of Belgium, their conquered cottages and windmills held high, coated in b the blood of innocents, they cry out a manly cry of victory, and their shirts fly off from sheer masculinity. They march on the netherlands next, and no-body cares because no-one really liked sheep anyway, and Luxembourg grows yet more powerful.

Their next target is Denmark, but Sweden and Norway intervene, sending troops to their flagging friend, but the morale of the Luxembourgians cannot be stopped any more than their countries name can be said in a reasonable timeframe. Denmark falls, and soon after the other nordic countries. Iceland surrenders, fearing conquest, and Luxembourg turns the eye of imperialism towards Germany.

But this marks the true beginning of WWIII, and France comes to the Germans aid. Assaulted on both sides and with their capital vulnerable in the tiny little space that used to be Luxembourg, they need allies. Using huge stacks of money "totally not raided from Sweden" and shiploads of wool from the Dutch sheep, the Luxebourgians call for aid from England. The UK marches on France, giving Luxembourg time to focus on Germany and take Berlin in a blitz. Then they assist Britain, who has been locked in a stalemate, as the U.S sleepily opens it's eyes and says "whuzzat goin' on?"

But Luxembourg is not content with the mere conquest of two of the five great powers of Europe, and Spain and Italy fall beneath the new behemoth. The new territories are taxed mercilessly and any talk of rebellion put down just as callously. The smaller countries fall as well, until almost all of Europe is under Luxembourgian control. The U.S is still trying to figure out who this new guy is, Britain is gearing up for the inevitable backstab (Luxembourg doesn't want to risk that just yet however), and Russia is scrambling it's defenses into position, hoping to trap the Luxembourgian troops in General Winters embrace.

So Luxembourg heads to the southern end of the mediterranean, taking Syria, Egypt, all of north Africa in a storm! All the land north of the Sahara belongs to Luxembourg! They march to the east, encircling the mediterranian like a new Roman Empire! And indeed, they take the arabic peninsula, avoiding Israel for now to avoid drawing fire from the U.S. The U.S is still confused, being so large and also not that well educated.

Now, with their armies immense and well prepared for the coldest winter they have ever experienced, the Luxembourgian troops march on Moscow. They plan to stay as well, and bring many supplies. General winter, for the first time in Russian history, is defeated, and Moscow falls to the Luxembourgian national song:

"Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom.
Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom.
DOOOM DOOOM DOOOM DOOM DOOM
DOOM DOOM DOOM
DOOM DOOM!
DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM
DOOM DOOM DOOM
DOOM DOOM!
"

The world fights, but the tide cannot be stopped. England falls, India falls, Japan falls, China falls, the United States of America falls. Luxembourg stands supreme. The Leader of Luxembourg leads the world! Not a single strip of land is not under the power of Luxembourg.

Then they realize; what now? All the world is ours, who then is left to conquer? They shrug and question and mumble until one man looks up at the sky, at the twinkling stars in the distance. He imagines worlds of alien species, of new frontiers and lands to explore. He thinks of all the greatness of an interstellar empire. He stands tall and says:

"Well we may as well put it back the way we got it." And they release all the captured countries and return to being a itty bitty little dinky thing, snug between the now utterly bamboozled New France and New Germany, making kissy faces at New Belgium and sharpening their knives, waiting for the cycle to repeat.

So are you really going to rent it or should I?
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Darvi

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1217 on: September 26, 2012, 03:22:03 pm »

And on that day you order by law that a giant fence be constructed to keep the neighbors out of your country, and the Great Wall of Luxembourg becomes the second largest construct on the planet. Finally, people begin to pay attention to Luxembourg, and boldened by their newfound success, the officials of the country declare war on Belgium.
'bout bloody time. Arlon is ours dammit!
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The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1218 on: September 26, 2012, 03:24:23 pm »

It's not easy to see, only one or four pixels in fact, but there's a definite gray spot in the center of Luxembourg where the goodyear is. I'm not sure about individual houses though.

I still want to get a whip round going to see if I can rent the entire country of Luxembourg some day. Just for the sake of being able to say that we'd rented an entire country for a day.
-snip-

I was more thinking that I'd like, sit in a lawn chair and shout at people to get out of my country. But your idea works too.
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Siquo

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1219 on: September 26, 2012, 03:26:22 pm »

Had a tour of the facilities a little while ago: Luxembourg has one of the biggest teleports in the world.

On topic:
Mother: "Okay, what doesn't fit: bike, car, tram, elephant?"
Kid: "Don't know"
Mother: "Well, they all have wheels, except for the... oh wait, trams don't have wheels either!"
Me: *facepalm*
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Darvi

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1220 on: September 26, 2012, 03:26:42 pm »

Fun fact: We could totally win a war against the USA. (so there's a ton of context missing there but w/e)

Mother: "Okay, what doesn't fit: bike, car, tram, elephant?"
Kid: "Don't know"
Mother: "Well, they all have wheels, except for the... oh wait, trams don't have wheels either!"
Me: *facepalm*
Once the vandals are done, that's a totally valid observation.
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10ebbor10

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1221 on: September 26, 2012, 03:28:50 pm »

In order for the Great wall of luxemburg to be the second largest construct, I'd believe they'd have to wrap it 2 or 3 times around.

And btw, Belgium doesn't have cottages and windmills, that's the Netherlands. We got infrastructure, and true civilization. (Really, pretty much the entire Nothern half of the country are urban or suburban areas. Also, there are a lot of rail systems. Pretty much every single village has it's own train station.)


Also, this entire thing makes me think of some military exercice they did several years ago. Largest exercice at that time. Used the entirety of Belgium as a battle terrain.
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Flying Dice

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1222 on: September 26, 2012, 07:12:39 pm »

I would say the first real democratic goverment would probably be the US goverment (technically the Corsican Republic beat it by 30 years, as well as having female suffrage, but that doesn't really count because it was so short lived and small). Setting the Magna Carta as the start date seems kind of silly.[/minor nitpick]
Except Athens beat the US by about 2000 years.

Except that Athens defined "citizen" as "free property-owning male".
Except that the US defined "citizen" as "white male". it wasn't any less exclusive
Except that we eventually figured out that that was wrong (after decades of protests) and changed it. The key idea there is willingness to accept forward progress, however reluctantly. Athens? Stayed the same for as long as it existed without so much as a whisper that things should be different. As a matter of fact, many Athenian houses were divided into sections; one for the women, which was only connected to the male part of the building. Incidentally, the idea of veiling women? That was (at least in part) Athenian.

What I'm saying is that Athens (what people tend to think of when they think of "Greek" democracy in the ancient world) was very much a limited democracy, and it never changed. Heck, Aristotle's version of virtue ethics centered around what was morally right for a property-owning Athenian male.

That's probably enough for this derail, though.


My stupid thing for the day? Actually, somewhat coincidentally linked to what I just said. During a discussion of Aristotle's De Anima: 20 minutes of
Quote
I think he's wrong because God tells us that our soul is special we will go to heaven when we die.

The professor and around half the class (who all attend the same church) then derail the class for ten minutes talking about how great it is that they're taking seminars bible study and religious apologetics. You know, I don't recall agreeing to pay to listen to people proudly proclaim their own blind faith in a class on philosophy and critical thinking. I try to be understanding and open-minded. I really do.

But sometimes having an open mind just makes it easier for the stupid to slip inside.
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kaijyuu

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1223 on: September 26, 2012, 07:19:14 pm »

Mhmm. Fortunately didn't have any of that in my philosophy classes. The teacher DID try to be apologetic to the concept of faith when she was talking about knowledge, but didn't put forth a very good argument for it. I honestly think she only did it to try and prevent kids from raising their hand and derailing similar to what happened to you.
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Jervill

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1224 on: September 26, 2012, 07:27:55 pm »

Dice, perhaps it would be better if you chose a university outside of Kentucky.  Like in the Upper Midwest, Pacific Northwest, or Northeast, people tend to be a little bit less pushy about their religious views.  Of course, Cost of Living expenses are higher and it  is usually more expensive to study in a different state, so that might be out of the question.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1225 on: September 26, 2012, 07:29:56 pm »

Or come to Louisville. It's relatively cheap and we're the most liberal part of the state!
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kaijyuu

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1226 on: September 26, 2012, 07:30:26 pm »

Move to Seattle with meeeee.
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Sirus

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1227 on: September 26, 2012, 07:32:02 pm »

I'd recommend California, but we've got the high costs of living and not all areas are equally progressive :P

Great place for the outdoors types, though.
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MaximumZero

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1228 on: September 26, 2012, 07:34:13 pm »

Luxembourg has one of the biggest teleports in the world.
Damn, I knew the US public transit system was behind, but I didn't know we were Aperture Science behind.
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Sirus

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1229 on: September 26, 2012, 07:40:13 pm »

Luxembourg has one of the biggest teleports in the world.
Damn, I knew the US public transit system was behind, but I didn't know we were Aperture Science behind.
Nonono. Aperture Science uses portals. You're thinking of Black Mesa.
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