Oh you will see....
BTw. This chapter is not going to be good, I am a bit ill.
Litheme
-----------
And so the priest started his temple. Just in time as well, I barely managed to sort out all the job allocations. We have a prison carved out, just above the catacombs, and we needed someone to run it. Limpy, as the only person with any legal training has been appointed the judge and the executioner... I mean hammerer. On the side note we are still unable to remove the note he carved into the floor, we had to put a table over it.
As for the sheriff... I have someone in mind. Someone very special... He was complaining about lack of things to do anyway...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Appointment of the Sheriff, at least before someone is appointed a baron, is done by something resembling a democratic vote. Basically an Overseer proposes a candidate and other administrators either accept it or not.
Thankfully others agreed that Gar should be our Sheriff. We "celebrated" in his new office when we were interrupted by Flame. I could say he caught us with our trousers down but that would imply trousers were involved in the first place.
'The hell are you two.... Never-mind, there is a siege going on. I have raised the brisge already but Limpy does not allow me to use the Magma-flooder. He says he needs you to authorize it or something.' He said, trying to not look at us as we tried to put our clothes back on as quickly as possible. Well, maybe at least he will learn to knock before he enters.
'I will be there in a second, let me just find my shoes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'How many are there?' Magma was released to block our entrance and we were standing at the construction of site of the temple.
'60-70, I would guess. And I think I can see our Liaison. Yup, it's him, there on that pike.' Answered Flame. 'You think we have enough supplies?'
'Our Lord will save US from starvation and sufferring! But we shout pray for those poor things as they will never know the plentiful bounty of our Lord's hairy bosom!' Interjected the priest.
'Crossbows have too small of the range to hit them, Ma'am, so this is a waiting game.' Added Tasrak, unhelpfully.
'Well let's hope their manhoods freeze of. Let's go back inside, volcanic fumes are not helping me concentrate on making plans.' Offered Zurko. As he was the only person at the moment who seemed to have a plan, even if the plan was to sit in his room and do nothing of importance, we had followed his advice.
'How long will they be here?' I asked.
'They are violating the Uristian Agreement! They should have send a messenger with form IA-07 first!' Started Limpy.
'Of course they are violating agreements! They are bloody goblins! And they will probably stay 'till spring, weather during winter is not what I would call "travel-friendly".' Said Gar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This place is weird. Really, REALLY weird. After three or so months, a very long time by the way, so long HissingWallnuts was solving the puzzles he himself created,they are still here. Everyone is bored out of their minds, Zurko has even got bored of designing extra wings for the temple and started making some new project of his but he refused to show it to me.
'Ma'am! Those goblins say they want to negitiate!' Came a call from the front gate.
'What?!'
'They want to talk!'
'I heard what you said! I was just caught off-guard!'
~~~~~~~
'Oh, come on! That's just not sporting behavior!' Shouted the most eloquent of the siegers. 'We ca,e a long way to get here and you are not even going to give us a little battle?'
' You outnumber our soldier 15 to one! That is not sporting behavior either!'
'So what now? You want us to go home with empty hands?'
'We would appretiate it, thank you!'
'Oh.... oh ok.' My conversation partner started walking away, looking like an exceptionally sad puppy. A foul smelling, murderous, green-skinned puppy whose favorite toy was thrown into a volcano along with his owner. Ehhh....
'Wait! We may be able to work something! I will be right back!' Look on his face has changed immediately. He looked now like a sober dwarf who entered a brewery on "all-you-can-drink" day and only alcohol they had left was Sunshine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Sooooo.... how many can we take on?' I asked, trying to ignore a round of murderous glares from my associates.
'10, maybe 20 if we are lucky.' Said Gar. Even he seemed slightly upset with me.
'My boys were hoping for some proper exercise anyway.' Flame mentioned, nonchalantly playing with his warhammer.
'We cannot do that! This is madness! We do not have any INT-CT-13 forms in this fortress! I would have to order some from the Capitol!' ' Said Limpy, being one-dimentional character.
'We must help those poor heathens see the light of the Lord!' Exclaimed Sumyunguy, trying to out-one-dimention Limpy.
'If we use the bridge as a tool of catapulting some of them into the side of the mountain we will be able to rout them much faster.' Said mad-scientist Zurko while giggling to himself, surprisingly the most sane out of the three.
'That is a very good idea. If you are ok wiht it, Ma'am, I will forward the orders to the rest of the archers.' Said Tasrak, dutifully.
'Yes, yes of course. Excuse me, I have an ambush to arrange.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I talked it through with the goblin leader. He was of the same clan as those naked goblins we had here a while ago, showing further proof that this particular tribe is completely bonkers.
Anyway we made a deal that the designated two squads will show up at the same time as the elven caravan, save a trip for our Hammer-boys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn sounded and there was a comotion on the corridor.
'What is this about?' I asked Tasrak as he was walking down from the outpost holding his sides as if he was in pain. 'Did the plan fail?'
'No, no! It worked perfectly... ahahha... too well in fact!' Tasrak said trying to catch a breath. 'Well, one of them fell through a window but we dealt with him already. Two others were catapulted straight into a wall beneath us, SPLAT! Hahahahha.... Last one, oh my ribs, last one flew over us, the temple, shouted something about seeing his home and fell into the volcano!' I allowed Tasrak some free time until he ragains his composure.
As for the flying goblins... this place had seen some weirder things.
Ok, ok. He did not actually fall into a volcano, Tasrak was exaggerating as expected of someone his age.
As for one-dimentional comment it is not an insult to any of you but to myself. If you will give me more material however, with their hopes or dream attached perhaps, I could make them much more rounded characters.
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