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Author Topic: FUCK YOU, DAD!: Not grading on a curve.  (Read 129279 times)

Remuthra

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #60 on: January 19, 2014, 09:40:10 pm »

>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.

>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
Are your trying to make our son a wimp!?!?!?!?!
Is there a motion to charge with lack of Bay 12 spirit?
Oh don't worry, knowing Bay12, it's to lull him into a sense of false security before the toys are stuffed with used syringes, the xylophone gets rigged with touch-powder and the books sprinkled with anthrax.
That would kill him! We just want to make him amazing!

Our real goal here is to make him win a brawl fight by the age of four!

TCM

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #61 on: January 19, 2014, 09:40:17 pm »

Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.

Hahaha.

Fuck you man.
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

superBlast

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #62 on: January 19, 2014, 09:41:28 pm »

Oooooo anthrax! Espose him to it now so he'll be immune to it later in life.... I'll be sure to remember that....
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Remuthra

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #63 on: January 19, 2014, 09:43:03 pm »

Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.

Hahaha.

Fuck you man.
When he grows up listening to Certain Pop Stars, don't blame me.

TCM

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #64 on: January 19, 2014, 09:47:45 pm »

Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.

Hahaha.

Fuck you man.
When he grows up listening to Certain Pop Stars, don't blame me.

I'd rather that than have him be the 70,000th person I've met trying to convince me that Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are messiahs of music, and that I'm stupid because I listen to Rap.

/TCMhavingissueswiththistypeofthinginthepastmanytimes
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Yoink

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #65 on: January 19, 2014, 09:49:50 pm »

But... but... but... dinosaurs are badass! D:
And so are xylophones!

Oh, well. +1 to the classic rock idea anyways.
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Remuthra

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #66 on: January 19, 2014, 09:54:12 pm »

Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.

Hahaha.

Fuck you man.
When he grows up listening to Certain Pop Stars, don't blame me.

I'd rather that than have him be the 70,000th person I've met trying to convince me that Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are messiahs of music, and that I'm stupid because I listen to Rap.

/TCMhavingissueswiththistypeofthinginthepastmanytimes
Is personal taste, man. There are a lot of people who like classic rock music. And a lot of the same people who don't care for rap music. And most of the current generation of People Doing Stuff fall under these classifications.

Besides, Led Zeppelin has like one good song. Hideously overrated.

* Remuthra waits to be smote.

TCM

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #67 on: January 19, 2014, 10:21:32 pm »

I'm just saying I know a lot of people who like Classic Rock and also have horrible taste. If you like Classic Rock, it doesn't mean you have good taste.
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Parsely

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #68 on: January 19, 2014, 10:27:27 pm »

That rule is universal.
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piecewise

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #69 on: January 19, 2014, 10:28:48 pm »

Is this game fully realistic or is there some sci if and magic around?
please be magic please have magic please have magic...
It has rule of cool! In other words, yes, you can have your baby get in ballroom brawls.

And yes, he can win!



Lets see here; the suggestion of rock music seems like the one that got the most votes so far, with 3 over several others with 2.





You set Baby Grate down in front of a pair of speakers.  You plug a flashdrive of 72 hours worth of Hair, metal, classic and other Rock into the computer attached to the speakers. You turn the volume up to 11 and then leave the room and lock the door behind you.

You return three days later and find that grate seems to have somewhat understood the concept of what makes Rock and roll good, but he isn't throwing up the horns, so clearly he's not fully enlightened.

"THE ROCK GODS ARE DISPLEASED WITH THIS BORDERLINE ACCEPTABLE DISPLAY! I AM YELLING BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE YOU MIGHT BE DEAF NOW!"


Dappertude:0
Cynicismish:1
Businessness:0
Dterminational:0
Survivalous: 0
Sporties:0
Schooliouses:0

TCM

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #70 on: January 19, 2014, 10:30:15 pm »

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Empiricist

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #71 on: January 19, 2014, 10:31:14 pm »

Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.
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Parsely

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #72 on: January 19, 2014, 10:33:28 pm »

---
« Last Edit: January 19, 2014, 10:35:38 pm by GUNINANRUNIN »
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WhitiusOpus

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #73 on: January 19, 2014, 10:34:57 pm »

Explain to him the meaning of life by repeatedly slamming his forehead into a Theological History college level course book. Excessively, but not too damaging. He needs to thrive.
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Kadzar

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: The Game of Strategic Parenting.
« Reply #74 on: January 19, 2014, 10:35:16 pm »

Feed him a diet exclusively of protein shakes and put him on exercise equipment so he grows super muscly.
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