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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1001943 times)

Sergarr

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4680 on: January 19, 2017, 08:55:58 am »

Russia seems to just be doubling down on their resource dependency with their cheeki arctic exploits so it's unlikely they'll go full Singapore soon.
Pffft no way they're ever going to actually do anything big with the Arctic, not with the sanctions in place.

You see, the majority of equipment that Russia used for oil drilling was produced by - guess who - not Russia. And guess what the sanctions have targeted since the beginning? Sales of the oil equipment.

It's like that "diversify from oil" thing they've had back in 2008 when oil prices temporarily dropped to $40, all talk and no action because no one's got the cash or technology to actually do it, especially with the available alternatives in place.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4681 on: January 19, 2017, 09:08:32 am »

They're still a major producer for companies like Zara that want to be able to deliver new clothing without waiting for a month of shipping time.
Fast fashion does not have long term prospects, Turkish and Chinese competition will continue to erode Morocco's hold on cheap fast fashion (especially Turkey which no such geographical issues of China and China has their new silk routes) whilst British, French and Italian continue to dominate expensive fashions, especially since fast fashion can fall out of fashion, with fast fashion very vulnerable to their consumers changing their mind

LoSboccacc

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4682 on: January 19, 2017, 09:17:49 am »

They're still a major producer for companies like Zara that want to be able to deliver new clothing without waiting for a month of shipping time.
Fast fashion does not have long term prospects, Turkish and Chinese competition will continue to erode Morocco's hold on cheap fast fashion (especially Turkey which no such geographical issues of China and China has their new silk routes) whilst British, French and Italian continue to dominate expensive fashions, especially since fast fashion can fall out of fashion, with fast fashion very vulnerable to their consumers changing their mind

Italians are losing the fashion market. Lack of investment and race to bottom is happening there as well. They're keeping the prices up to keep it exclusive, but as far quality goes there's been a sharp drop. Expect the few remaining firms to go trough a rough period as customers start responding.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4683 on: January 19, 2017, 09:44:37 am »

Italians are losing the fashion market. Lack of investment and race to bottom is happening there as well. They're keeping the prices up to keep it exclusive, but as far quality goes there's been a sharp drop. Expect the few remaining firms to go trough a rough period as customers start responding.
Textiles industry is truly the most remarkable, fascinating and terrifying of all industries of man

In other news, EU redrawing balance budgets in lieu of Brexit
I just assumed the EU would have no trouble filling that gap. EU may be able to secure some sterling payments in negotiations, but with lower sterling to euro exchange rate that still leaves a budget gap which will have to be filled by Austria, Sweden, Denmark, Netherlands and Germany

Quote
When Margaret Thatcher famously negotiated a permanent rebate for the U.K. at Fontainebleau in 1984, other countries wanted rebates too — Austria, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands and Sweden have all had them, albeit granted on a temporary basis.
When the Brits leave, those other rebates will likely go as well.
“Since all the rebates are calculated on the basis of the British rebate, the other rebates will also disappear,” Geier said
“The EU budget issue will be a top priority for sure when the negotiations start,” an EU diplomat said. “Filing the British contribution is essential for the EU to avoid bankruptcy. And it will be a test to check if finding a EU27 position is actually realistic.”
It also warned that the shortfall "spells trouble" for the next round of EU budget negotiations as contributor nations, such as the Netherlands, Germany and Sweden balk at making extra payments to net recipients of EU funds, like Poland and Hungary.
"Brexit entrenches the existing differences between net contributors and net recipients," the authors warn, "Today's largest net contributors would be hardest hit...while net recipients would be relatively unaffected."
In practice, EU chiefs will be faced with an invidious choice between an unpopular increase in contributions from richer states and slashing EU budgets, a move the reports says would be "devastating" for the EU's efforts to convince citizens it delivers value.
A report commissioned by the European Commission, European Parliament and member states last week called for  effective federal taxes to be paid directly to Brussels to fund the EU budget.
I lol'd at the commission using this as an opportunity to centralize more power again
Like clockwork
Quote
EU-wide VAT of 1 or 2 per cent, standardised petrol taxes and a federal corporation tax were among the proposals put forward in the report delivered by a working group chaired by Mario Monti, the former Italian prime minister.
The Delors Institut reports does not rule out taxes, but says they will have to be part of a "grand bargain" on reforming both EU revenues and expenditures in order to attract political support.
Those reforms could see Spain and Ireland shifted into become net contributors to the EU budget, and reduce the amount that Italy currently receives from the EU, the report says.
Turning more countries into net contributors is 10/10 move from the EU, they should have been making this a priority many years ago

LoSboccacc

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4684 on: January 19, 2017, 09:52:53 am »

1-2% VAT!?!?!?

how many billions does the EU burn every year for fucking us over under the Germany economical boot?
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4685 on: January 19, 2017, 10:51:11 am »

EU-wide taxation has been a longstanding proposal of all EU federalists, so it's not that surprising.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4686 on: January 19, 2017, 08:30:08 pm »

MolExit? Also, this. (found these on RealClearWorld, one of the subsections of RealClear Politics).

Putin is certainly trying hard to break the current status quo.
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Culise

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4687 on: January 19, 2017, 11:37:56 pm »

Quote
“Half of today’s Romania is actually Moldova,” the President [of Moldova] noted, undiplomatically.

...

He added, however, that Moscow has no desire to see an „iron fence” go up on the border with Romania and also said humanitarian projects financed by Romania in Moldova should be allowed to continue their work.
Heh.  So, we'll sabre-rattle all we like against you, but please don't use that as a reason to stop giving us money.  Is that even accurate, or is it just a convenient quote-mine? 
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Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4688 on: January 20, 2017, 05:39:43 am »

So, relieving a whole continent, Hollande confirms he has no plan to replace Tusk as president of the Council.

And Germany legalize pots for medical reasons. You can even get your pot prescription reimbursed by your health insurance if there is no other effective treatment.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

redwallzyl

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4689 on: January 20, 2017, 03:27:10 pm »

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/01/20/510765186/police-in-u-k-use-stun-gun-on-their-own-community-relations-adviser

your doing it wrong UK in the good old US of A he would have been shot and the officer applauded for his bravery! /s
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4690 on: January 20, 2017, 03:30:17 pm »

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/01/20/510765186/police-in-u-k-use-stun-gun-on-their-own-community-relations-adviser

your doing it wrong UK in the good old US of A he would have been shot and the officer applauded for his bravery! /s
On the bright side the body cams are doing their job proper

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4691 on: January 20, 2017, 05:11:01 pm »

Last I checked it's not a crime to be a twat, certainly not one that warrants tasering a septuagenarian.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Antioch

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4692 on: January 20, 2017, 06:53:39 pm »

Last I checked it's not a crime to be a twat, certainly not one that warrants tasering a septuagenarian.

It is if being a twat includes trying to get away from police questioning you and resisting the police trying to prevent you from doing so.
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This raw flesh tastes delicious!

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4693 on: January 20, 2017, 07:06:45 pm »

It is if being a twat includes trying to get away from police questioning you and resisting the police trying to prevent you from doing so.
Dude has a phobia of police from some sorta confrontation in 09 where he was wrongfully arrested

It's an awkward thing, because:
  • He did nothing his rights didn't entitle him to do
  • The police had the choice of letting someone they thought was the suspect get away, or escalate the confrontation

Prolly should've just told them his name from the start so they knew he wasn't their guy tbh, but I still get it

hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #4694 on: January 20, 2017, 07:09:37 pm »

Last I checked it's not a crime to be a twat, certainly not one that warrants tasering a septuagenarian.

It is if being a twat includes trying to get away from police questioning you and resisting the police trying to prevent you from doing so.

No, it isn't. The police need a reason to arrest someone. A cynic might say they manufactured one, because they certainly didn't have one when he refused to answer their questions.

The guy dealt with the situation poorly. The police dealt with the situation even worse. There were two of them, and he's 70, there was no need to taze him.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.
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