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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 750304 times)

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15495 on: January 14, 2019, 03:49:08 pm »

A
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birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15496 on: January 14, 2019, 06:46:55 pm »

Huh. Nice! Good work Diplo Team!

A
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15497 on: January 14, 2019, 09:27:45 pm »

A
Seriously, when did we get a Diplomatic Corps?
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15498 on: January 14, 2019, 09:33:40 pm »

Ages ago. Cyl the Great's doing. Per the OP.

Quote
End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps

They don't seem to do much other than help us arrange the occasional marriage for our kids.
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15499 on: January 14, 2019, 11:41:40 pm »

Who knows how many times we could have made a meaningless war over nothing and they stepped in first!

Yes A though.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15500 on: January 15, 2019, 10:33:27 am »

A
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15501 on: January 15, 2019, 04:03:53 pm »

You decide to accept the bethrothal offer, and send the reply to Albion right away.

1213 AD, Late Autumn

Aina's breast is moving up and down slowly, her face is in pain and beads of sweat adorn her forehead.

The illness came up and seized your sister's body quickly, not further than yesterday's evening. The healers are confused, for while this looks akin to a swamp fever, the very one that preys on little children, it is however not that. The usual treatments are working, but only to keep her alive and amongst the living.

A) I need foreign alchemists, foreign herbs, and foreign medicines! No matter the price!
B) I must go with haste and pray to gods of health and curatives to restore Aina's health!
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15502 on: January 15, 2019, 04:10:04 pm »

B

We can't afford to be spending money on this now, and ICly Houlandin just had an encounter with the divine. It makes sense that he would trust the gods.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15503 on: January 15, 2019, 05:31:30 pm »

B
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15504 on: January 15, 2019, 05:50:49 pm »

B
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15505 on: January 15, 2019, 07:41:04 pm »

B
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15506 on: January 15, 2019, 09:03:45 pm »

B
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15507 on: January 16, 2019, 04:11:16 pm »

You decide to pray to the gods to heal your sick sister.

Quote
6

Miracle happens next morning! Your sister wakes up, the fever and other syndromes gone over the night.

Almost every of your courtiers thanks the Pantheon, who must've lend their collective ear to your prayers!

1214 AD, Winter

Quote
1

Gemstones and gold arrive in the Treasury; t'chai leaves failed to bring any profits whatsoever in the east!

Quote
1

The imperial Treasury has problems integrating the Vaults into the system, confounded both by some racial 'distaste' between dwarven Vaulters and Methiantese officials. These social unpleasantries will delay implementation of the Vault system by a whole year, at best.

1214 AD, Midwinter

Couriers from the north bring news; apparently, Sigurd of Helliste died of heart attack. The young Brynwald, his son (and your first cousin from Ciri's side) ascended the throne. He is a healthy lad of a posture of a bull, but, as rurmors go, he lacks any particular talent.

1214 AD, End of the Year

Like a storm in the summer, this year came and went. If only every year of your rule would be as quick and easy to get through!

The Advisor arrives and hands you the Scrolls of Kingdom Status. You examine them thoroughly.

You're pretty sure they've stitched another layer of vellum on top of the old one, and that mold is already chewing through at the corner. Eugh.

Quote
1, 4to6(1to3)

Happiness: 5
Population: 8
Economy: 0!
Army: 8
Imp.Authority: -1

...Wait, the Treasury is empty?

You put the scrolls down and stare at the Advisor with disbelief.

"Can you explain to me where did all our money go to?"

"Investments, sire. The Army is taking a great bulk of money, and the iron mines providing cheap equipment only reduce maintenance by a certain amount. An amount equal to a half of what Army spends goes to Fireblood Court, and another such amount goes to pay wages of your hardworking, royal bureaucrats spread across our vast Empire. There's also yearly expenses on the festivities and the house of learning." You frown at this.

"And our income, again?"

"Gemstones and gold bullion are the only ones providing raw wealth to the Treasury. About the same, we gain from yearly taxation of population. But our Treasury depends mostly on profits from trading, which is finicky thing sometimes, like this year." You frown even harder, especially when you realize that this is not a problem of today, but of recent years. Once profitable trading routes and deals have petered out, and the closure of various mines during the Regency sure haven't helped. It might've passed by you unnoticed when the Treasury was keeping afloat, but now...

"Emperor," The Advisor speaks again, "Maybe a raise of taxes or cutting of our spending would be prudent?"

A) "Raise the taxes, I'm sure the peasants will understand."
B) "Cut the Army spending in a half, we're not at war anyway."
C) "No, these measures are not needed - not yet, at least."
D) "Higher taxes and some budget cuts is the way!"

"We could also try some more drastic measures..." The Advisor mentions few things you could consider.

A) "We will sell some of our artifacts for some quick cash."
B) "A loan from the dwarves sounds okay with me."
C) "Neither of these sound particularily good, sorry."

"The Authority of the throne is somewhat low, but maybe you want to issue an Edict?"

A) "Better not."
B) "Sure thing."
« Last Edit: January 17, 2019, 12:55:40 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15508 on: January 16, 2019, 04:14:08 pm »

Speaking of the late Sigurd of Helliste, didn't we have a deal to rent out a port from him to trade with distant lands? How is that playing out?
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15509 on: January 16, 2019, 04:16:31 pm »

Speaking of the late Sigurd of Helliste, didn't we have a deal to rent out a port from him to trade with distant lands? How is that playing out?

Hardworking traders of Methiant are working hard to find a decent deal in the distant lands, so far I haven't rolled for it they haven't had any luck.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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