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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 745558 times)

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15765 on: February 12, 2019, 09:34:35 am »

The dwarfs are going to be setting up next door to Tiftit, do they like Springwine? The cost of shipping would be minimal.
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15766 on: February 12, 2019, 01:48:30 pm »

a
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if you want something wacky
Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15767 on: February 12, 2019, 04:39:09 pm »

You decide to sign the deal. The Overseers murmur something happily in their strange language.

Over the course of few hours, the cartographers are given dwarven construction and territorial claim maps, and you in meanwhile write down a lengthy document - in two copies - about passing of the territory to the dwarves. As you glance over the territorial claim on their map, it seems to not be any larger than Zasitost, already perched on the other side of the mountains. The future Dwarven Hall is to be called 'Emeden', whatever that means.

The digging, tunneling and laying of foundation will begin in few weeks; the payments will be delivered each Spring, starting from the Spring of year 1218 AD.

After you add the royal seal in red wax upon the contracts, the Overseers add their own coat of metallic wax, shiny like silver but smelling rather foul. One copy is carried off into the royal archives, the other is put into an ornate wooden box that the Overseers' servants bring in.

"It is nice to know that not all monarchs of your family are as stubborn as the tales go." Am notes in your language. "We will inform the High King of your cooperation and willingness to do business, I'm sure he will be quite happy to hear of this." Dobar adds afterwards.

They refuse to overstay their welcome, similarily not willing to do any further business. They depart along with their entourage before nightfall.

1217 AD, Summer

All of the Palace is putting on mourning veils, for a tragedy happened; your sister Aina, after giving birth to Duach's son, Bjern, has caught a fever the night afterwards and swiftly perished. Some accuse Duach of murder, which is absurd, and some curse the Cup, which was supposedly to protect people from illness. Duach himself is cursing gods of Pantheon for taking Aina from him, and promised to spend his family's wealth on decorating her tomb in the royal catacombs as lavishly as possible.

But as courtiers mourn, the councilmembers and advisors meet. As much as you're in pain and mourn the loss of your elder sibling, you have to decide on the heir to the throne of Methiant-Cydwyl.

After the recent souring of relationship with the Eldrican, your courtiers seem unwilling to accept anyone from Hein's royal family (that meaning Feir, Sigurd and their children, and Rubert). Other than that, the noblemen seem to be pretty divided on the issue.

Ultimately, the heir to the throne will be...

A) Your eldest son, Luthas.
B) Your eldest daughter, Segeda.
C) Your youngest son, Yoe.
D) Your youngest daughter, Aife.
E) Your mother, Queen Mother Wilhemina.
F) Your aunt, Cylia.
G) Your aunt, Queen Mother Ciri of Helliste.
H) Your cousin, King Brynwald of Helliste, son of Ciri.
I) Your cousin, Astrid of Helliste, daughter of Ciri.
J) Your cousin, Brynwalda of Helliste, daughter of Ciri.
K) Your cousin, Alfdis of Helliste, daughter of Ciri.
L) Your great-half-uncle, Deathan.
M) Your half-uncle, Duach, son of Deathan.
N) Your half-cousin, newborn Bjern, son of Duach.
O) Your half-uncle, Houlandin, son of Deathan.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2019, 01:07:06 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15768 on: February 12, 2019, 04:50:05 pm »

E

We need to name an adult. We cannot afford a regency period with the Damdamians breathing down our throat. Our mother should have no objections to giving up the title of heir (or Empress) to her grandkids when they come of age.

Edit: Actually, by that logic, our wife would be an even better pick. Why no option for her?
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:14:15 pm by Weirdsound »
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auzewasright

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15769 on: February 12, 2019, 04:59:06 pm »

L Deathan, he's a genius (wise, martial, lucky).
Plus, I think it's time we give it to someone else in the corners of the Dynasty.
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On a fun note, all of the beds just starting disintegrating
By the way, it (my name) is pronounced "ah-zee".

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15770 on: February 12, 2019, 05:03:24 pm »

Deathan is old. His only son just got widowed with a single kid. No guarentee that Bjern survives infancy or Duach get remarried. That branch of the tree could easily be a dead end.

G, H, I, J, or K would be a better branch of the family. Both for chances of reproduction, and for bringing Helliste closer to Methiant-Cydwyl.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15771 on: February 12, 2019, 05:08:29 pm »

I Not J, oops

I'll be the one to nominate Astrid; she's old enough (17) for our purposes. I wouldn't try to annex Helliste without laying groundwork first but north is the direction to keep in mind diplomatically.

Just because we give it to Deathan wouldn't mean it has to stay over there. My only objection is his age.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 06:01:47 pm by mightymushroom »
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Blood_Librarian

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15772 on: February 12, 2019, 05:11:22 pm »

I
« Last Edit: February 13, 2019, 11:03:42 am by Blood_Librarian »
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if you want something wacky
Quote from: ChiefWaffles, MAR Discord
I continue to be puzzled by BL's attempts to make Aratam blatantly evil

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15773 on: February 12, 2019, 05:16:14 pm »

You know what? Fine. J.

We should follow it up by giving Helliste a gift of money once the dwarf deal and silver max out our economy. Secure them firmly as a military ally, and perhaps convince them to help us colonize the northern shores.
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15774 on: February 12, 2019, 05:17:05 pm »

I
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:39:43 pm by Hotfire90 »
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15775 on: February 12, 2019, 05:25:18 pm »

M While I do see the appeal of strengthening relations with our northern relatives I'm more worried about this possibly being seen as a power play on our part to takeover Helliste or that we'll get caught up in some family drama up north. We already have enough problems with possible attacks from the south/west from the Damed worshipping rats. Duach might be the boring choice but he's the safe one and one of the choices with the strongest claims to the throne since he's if I remember correctly a member of the main agnatic branch of the Yoean Dynasty [I'll admit I could be wrong as I'm unsure if I'm remember who's who correctly.] and has a son/heir from our sister.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:50:35 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15776 on: February 12, 2019, 05:32:47 pm »

M While I do see the appeal of strengthening relations with our northern relatives I'm more worried about this possibly being seen as a power play on our part to takeover Helliste or that we'll get caught up in some family drama up north. Duach might be the boring choice but he's the safe one and one of the choices with the strongest claims to the throne since he's if I remember correctly a member of the main agnatic branch of the Yoean Dynasty and has a son/heir from our sister.

He's also stricken with grief and thinks elaborate tomb decorating is a good way to spend one's wealth. If you insist on giving it to a member of that bloodline, Deathan would be the better choice; If we die soon, we may get a few years of his genius. If not, there is a chance he lives just long enough for our kids to come of age, giving us another opportunity to name one of them when he bites it.

But I don't see how naming Astrid causes Drama. Astrid is not likely in line to inherit the throne. I'm not even sure if Helliste accepts female monarchs. I doubt naming her will be seen as a power play in the same way that naming her mother or brother would be. It is also likely that becoming the heir to Methiant-Cydwyl will boost her marriage prospects, giving us the opprotunity to visit Helliste for her wedding and employ our charm directly.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:34:20 pm by Weirdsound »
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15777 on: February 12, 2019, 05:37:11 pm »

I guess I can see your point with Deathen's genius but we've only ever really had one monarch make it into old age so I'm a bit afraid of the bad traits that we might gain if he assumes the throne but I still think that's a safer bet than getting another foreign branch of the family to take the throne. I'm changing my vote to L as Deathen seems the more popular choice than Duach so far.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15778 on: February 12, 2019, 05:39:34 pm »

We seem to have messed up the voting, I is for Astrid, not J.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin III of Methiant-Cydwyl!
« Reply #15779 on: February 12, 2019, 05:41:52 pm »

How old is Brynwalda? If she is like 12-13 I'd be willing to bet that we live long enough for her to take the throne?

Edit: She is 14-15 according to the family tree. That should be old enough to inherit a world superpower. J still works. No need to complicate things and change votes.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 05:47:33 pm by Weirdsound »
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