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[melomel]

Hmm, a barony you say?  What the heck, let's promote my expedition leader.  She has simple tastes--rutile, copper, glumprong, dwarven wine, cave lobsters.  Glumprong is on the map; already asking for rutile as an import because I like to pamper my starting seven.  Okay, star sapphires are expensive, but with a legendary weaponsmith and iron coming out my ears all I have to do is make 3 serrated discs a year (one for each caravan).

And then I realize that I have no earthly idea if I have copper anywhere on my map.  And I've just made my only carpenter AND my only doctor into a useless purple thing.  Face.  Palm.

[Crocatowa]

accidentally forgot to give my dwarves armor before forgetting about them in the danger room... i realized what was going on too late... 3 out of 16 survived the initial onslaught... 1 of them went mad and was killed... the other two went off to produce 200,000 value artifacts individually that both recounted the "training accident" as i began to call it... then they killed each other and sent the fortress into a tantrum.

[blur]

I caught a Dragon in a cage trap. After modding, taming and releasing, he slaughtered my fortress. The reason: a useless dwarven caravan running right into that Dragon before catching him...

[Horizon9]

Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.

[AWellTrainedFerret]

My latest facepalm moment:

I've been playing for about 3months, and last night when looking up archaically obscure details for advanced worldgen; I discovered that there's a difference between a biome's savagery and alignment. And all this time I've been settling Untamed Wilds thinking they're safer than Sinister.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.

Kobolds will stab your face in. What was the dagger made of?

[noob]

i kept abandoning sites because of the lack of neighbors... before realizing that i didnt need them on the civilization list for them to come to me

[Musashi]

Kobold filth decides to try and rob my fortress of our goods, so I send the military after it.
First dwarf to get there is my Skilled Axedwarf Kadol with his trusty copper battle axe.
I expected the Kobold to be dispatched quickly and painlessly.
And then suddenly Kadol Kolnazom, Swordsdwarf has been struck down.
He didn't even get one hit in when the kobold stabbed him in the head.

Everybody hates facestabs. THAT KOBOLD IS A SPAH

[Dutchling]

My animal trainer is ordered to tame a deer, so he goes to the food stockpile to get some food and gives it to the deer.
No big deal right?
Well, he's giving the deer a friggin' prepared deer kidney!

He just earned a 3x3 room with a statue of his favourite metal, a cabinet and a chest*

*All of my eight dwarves get that anyway, since I have not gotten any migrants for the last four years

[melomel]

I cut off the easy-access central stair too soon; now my depot is sitting there in a heap of rotting food and caged deer as my little morons troop across creation, each lovingly cradling a single plump helmet spawn each.

On the plus side, my Baroness didn't stop making barrels after all...

[madciol]

Ops, not this thread.

[ext0l]

My latest facepalm moment:

I've been playing for about 3months, and last night when looking up archaically obscure details for advanced worldgen; I discovered that there's a difference between a biome's savagery and alignment. And all this time I've been settling Untamed Wilds thinking they're safer than Sinister.

Utamed Wilds are safer than sinister. In sinister, the wildlife actually attack you and you're guarenteed to have fun if there are any ogres around.

[GenexController]

Okay here we go just created this world and just embarked using the infamous fortress name of bronze murder. After embarking instantly a group of monkeys take the attraction of all my war dogs which allows an alligator to quickly slither out of the river sprint to each dwarf and bite each of their heads off, it was all over before it even started...

[Skelodwarf]

So I've made it through the first year, again, (After messing up my entryway several times, and restarting due to my Dwarf-Induced-OCD), and I've finished that tricksy entryway. The farms are irrigated and running in an area that will eventually be channeled out, after the real farms with pumps are set up (With floodgates this time, I forgot that last time, and the machine-run pumps flooded the fort, and couldn't be turned off. [Lever was flooded before I noticed]). And I've just finished designing the great hall, and I'm about to let my dwarves get at it, and start digging into their new home. And then I realize.

In my spiral ramp down to the great hall, one of my spirals goes the wrong direction, and thus the dwarf who dug it is stuck down there, and my spiral ramp is ruined.

Now on to try 5 of this week.

[Ieb]

Because someone has to take the fall, I figure it's up to me to make a complete fool out of myself.

So a few artifact furnitures were made in the fort, and the baron was already happy in his little hole that used to be a mayor's department(until the unfortunate accident related to destroying the throne he was sitting on and getting his head chopped off by the Captain), so I figured, hey, the guy should have some real noble rooms.

So off I went, designating four large rooms and had them mined out.

It only now dawned on me that unfortunate placing of the rooms(two side-by-side and the other two above the two) made it look like... well, it made the noble's room layout look like he was living in a penis.

Insert obvious "the guy was a dick" joke here.

So stay sharp kids, and always check that you are not designating risque fortress plans!