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Author Topic: What's going on in your fort?  (Read 3323284 times)

Heavenfall

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4980 on: August 15, 2010, 03:40:07 pm »

Museum or zoo.
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Upon him I will visit famine and a fire, until all around him desolation rings
and all the demons in the outer dark look on amazed and recognize
that vengeance is the business of a dwarf

Serio

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4981 on: August 15, 2010, 03:45:26 pm »

My fort entered a tantrum spiral. The goblins lifted the siege, I removed my fortifications, thinking it was safe to go chop down some trees. Oh, how wrong I was. The second my 20(3 woodcutters, 17 bored dwarves) dwarves left the fortress, three goblin ambush squads appeared and slaughtered them all. Included in the massacre was my defense squad of 10. That makes 30 dead dwarves, all of which were relatively popular in the fortress. Cue church bells and a tantrum spiral, in which my surviving captain of the guard decides to mercilessly beat the mayor for being incompetent. What fun that was.
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lanceleoghauni

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4982 on: August 15, 2010, 04:12:04 pm »

Actually, I think I'll just make it work in one of my current forts, I'll just have to drag some magma to the surface to melt a section of my ocean, then use it to flood a cavern I carve out to make my underwater city.

Use one of the DFhack tools to generate magma.

But that would be cheating!  :P Besides, it's much more fun to drag magma 100+ z-levels manually.
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"Mayor, the Nobles are complaining again!"

*Mayor facepalms*

"pull the lever of magmatic happiness"

timtek

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4983 on: August 15, 2010, 04:33:43 pm »

The fort is slowly dying as a forgotten beast and a dwarf fight it out in my carpenters shop. Everyone else is just standing around watching the fight. The fb just won't die.

« Last Edit: August 15, 2010, 04:41:32 pm by timtek »
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My fortress brings all the dorfs to mah yard...

Internet Kraken

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4984 on: August 15, 2010, 05:07:48 pm »

More goblins showed up. My mechanic never got around to building cage traps, so the goblins moved in with no resistance. My military commander then died of infection. This means that only one Dwarf remains in the military. In my Fortress, the only way to get promoted is to have your leader die a horrible death.

The entire Fortress is in lockdown. I couldn't save the merchants either. The Dwarf I had operating the lever for the drawbridge decided to fall asleep immediately after I put him in the lever room. So I couldn't raise the bridge in time to let the merchants in. Now there are bunch of pissed off goblins running around trying to find a way into my Fort. On top of that, the human caravan guards that got locked in last month are probably going to go insane and kill everyone. Another wonderful day in Townbrush. All it needs now are some Ogres eating Dwarves and the whole thing will be complete.

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Picture a dwarf, warrior, mechanic, or some other incredibly useful profession. Now picture him dead. That's what infections do.
[NOPAIN] no gain.
Escapist Reveredtour Let's Play.

Macalano

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4985 on: August 15, 2010, 05:10:13 pm »

The fort is slowly dying as a forgotten beast and a dwarf fight it out in my carpenters shop. Everyone else is just standing around watching the fight. The fb just won't die.



I mean, I wouldn't give Cthulu any less credit.
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Arekis

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4986 on: August 15, 2010, 05:11:35 pm »

Babathel has been fairly mundane since the great goblin siege.  With the 10 story ice ziggurat almost complete, the dwarves were prepared for any assaults.  The goblins, however, decided to throw everything into this one.  80+ invaders with 3 mounted battalions, one being led by their master: a giant buffalo twisted into human form.  They struck just as the elven caravan appeared.  The foolish elves decided to flee from the gates and the safety of the fortress and were promptly butchered.  Their precious wood log cargo would belong to the fort either way.

The battlements held, the siege was routed, and the master was riddled with arrows and hacked to pieces.  It is now lying in the refuse pile, decomposing while I contemplate what to make of its bones.  The only injuries came from flying mounted archers that got in through an unfinished part of the ziggurat.  The injuries were not threatening and were promptly patched up at the hospital.

Only one ambush party has been brave enough to strike at the fortress in the several years following the siege.

Recently, a hairy leech forgotten beast (beware its fiery breath!) appeared in the second cavern.  Concerned with leaving multiple beasts in the cavern, I decided to kill this one.  A squad of axedwarves and marksdwarves exited the lowered drawbridge and awaited the approaching monstrosity.  It, however, had other plans.  Completely detouring the stationed troops, it proceeded into the nearby lake.  Confused by this move, I soon realized that 1. it can swim, and 2. this particular lake was currently refilling my water cistern with an open floodgate.  Through this unforeseen entrance, the beast calmly marched into my main stairwell and proceeded to terrorize the populace.  For the first time I was happy to have a ridiculous number of dogs and wardogs roaming the fort as they occupied the beast until the troops regrouped and killed the creature.
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timtek

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4987 on: August 15, 2010, 05:41:23 pm »

As Bora continues to rampage the workshop district, a number of dwarves have decided it's time to head above ground and party into the apocalypse. Surprisingly, after losing more than half my population, there have been no tantrums. I fear this is the end for "Wheelslistened".
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My fortress brings all the dorfs to mah yard...

Schilcote

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4988 on: August 15, 2010, 06:43:28 pm »

I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.
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WHY DID YOU HAVE ME KICK THEM WTF I DID NOT WANT TO BE SHOT AT.
I dunno, you guys have survived Thomas the tank engine, golems, zombies, nuclear explosions, laser whales, and being on the same team as ragnarock.  I don't think something as tame as a world ending rain of lava will even slow you guys down.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4989 on: August 15, 2010, 06:52:09 pm »

I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.

Trade for anvils and stone and metal.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Zaerosz

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4990 on: August 15, 2010, 07:00:38 pm »

I just bought out the entire dwarven caravan with one 72000-ish DB masterwork elephant meat roast.
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くコ:彡

melomel

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4991 on: August 15, 2010, 07:03:28 pm »

I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.

I have found my first sig <3

Wetchanneled is pretty much fucked.    Valuable lesson for dealing with aquifers: WALL AS YOU DIG NOT AFTER

I think I may go back to the save one more time and drown the whole world, but after a week my patience has eroded and I want ROCK.  Current fort:  Crabquakes.  (Mmm, crabcakes.)  Couldn't find a similar aquifer level for the rematch, so settled on the coast  (no actual sea on the map, boo hiss) for a rematch.

I have discovered that (1) stranglers are big sissies and don't seem to give ANY eyes when butchered although they explode into a pinata of lovely exotic meat, (2) taming a tigerman is a good way to figure out if your desalinization pumps are working BEFORE someone gets injured, and (3) I'm not sure what else, but these things always have three points.

Second armorer mood.  Betting I'll end up with two left gloves.

Oh, and I'll give the dungeon master a decade tops to get here--after that, I'm modding the raws.  I have three pages of gorillas and THEY HUNGER FOR BATTLE
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I HAVE THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND CRAFT ITEMS. I WILL TRADE THEM ALL FOR CHEESE.
7+7

Acanthus117

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4992 on: August 15, 2010, 07:06:10 pm »

Dude, I can imagine hordes of war gorrilas with armor running into an elf caravan and ripping them into tiny pieces and shit.

Awesome.
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Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Schilcote

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4993 on: August 15, 2010, 07:08:59 pm »

I HAVE SO MANY TRADE GOODS MY DWARVES CANNOT CARRY THEM ALL TO THE DEPOT. THEY ARE OUT OF CHEESE.

Why are my Elk Bird Bone Amulets worth ten times as much as a bar of copper? I'm just buying barrels of squirrel blood to get rid of it all. Wouldn't a barrel full of squirrel blood cost a whole lot? That would take a hell of a lot of squirrels...

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WHY DID YOU HAVE ME KICK THEM WTF I DID NOT WANT TO BE SHOT AT.
I dunno, you guys have survived Thomas the tank engine, golems, zombies, nuclear explosions, laser whales, and being on the same team as ragnarock.  I don't think something as tame as a world ending rain of lava will even slow you guys down.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: What's going on in your fort?
« Reply #4994 on: August 15, 2010, 07:18:08 pm »

Dammit I have too many sigquotes. Sorry retro.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!
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