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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2131039 times)

Ria Hawk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3885 on: February 22, 2011, 03:05:19 am »

On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms.

Then I get spammed with 'Urist McDorf cancels drink: water contaminated.' There had been a little tiff with some monkeys, and I thought some of the monkey blood had gotten into the river or something. So I just moved the zone upstream. (I had a water fall on the south end of the map, which was how I knew.)

Still getting the contamination messages. Puzzled, I search the entire length of the river on the surface, but can find nothing. So I go down to the next z-level.

I found the problem. My resident Vermin Control Officer (the carpenter's cat) had killed a lungfish. And dropped the corpse into the second level of the river, right at the northernmost tile.

Thereby contaminating the whole river.

*facepalm*
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Ibid Straydrink

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3886 on: February 22, 2011, 04:04:27 am »

On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms.

Then I get spammed with 'Urist McDorf cancels drink: water contaminated.' There had been a little tiff with some monkeys, and I thought some of the monkey blood had gotten into the river or something. So I just moved the zone upstream. (I had a water fall on the south end of the map, which was how I knew.)

Still getting the contamination messages. Puzzled, I search the entire length of the river on the surface, but can find nothing. So I go down to the next z-level.

I found the problem. My resident Vermin Control Officer (the carpenter's cat) had killed a lungfish. And dropped the corpse into the second level of the river, right at the northernmost tile.

Thereby contaminating the whole river.

*facepalm*

Yeah, that's usually the part where I say "Toady, stop cheating" and use DF Hack.
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“I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so, for all that comes to be. Deserves to perish wretchedly; 'Twere better nothing would begin."

Lamphare

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3887 on: February 22, 2011, 04:47:38 am »

reading through world status with legends viewer
and saw:
Quote
The Hollow Confederation is a civlization of dusk elves
(skip bunch of crap)Populations

1188 Sylvan Elves
66 Demons
2539 Dwarves
57 Nords
343 Keepers
180 Snakemen
92 Ezrakim Elves
5430 Dusk Elves
108 Orcs
15966 Cats
1104 Dogs
40 Cows


seriously! cats!i never want to fight the elves again!*facepalm*
« Last Edit: February 22, 2011, 04:51:05 am by Lamphare »
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foop

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3888 on: February 22, 2011, 11:25:58 am »

My first 31.19 embark.  I was quite smug about finding a site with clay, shallow metals, and deep metals with no aquifer.

What I didn't notice was that the embarkation wagon was parked on top of a frozen pond.  Come the middle of spring, most of my supplies and some of my dorfs are underwater.
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FuzzyZergling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3889 on: February 22, 2011, 02:16:20 pm »

On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms.

Then I get spammed with 'Urist McDorf cancels drink: water contaminated.' There had been a little tiff with some monkeys, and I thought some of the monkey blood had gotten into the river or something. So I just moved the zone upstream. (I had a water fall on the south end of the map, which was how I knew.)

Still getting the contamination messages. Puzzled, I search the entire length of the river on the surface, but can find nothing. So I go down to the next z-level.

I found the problem. My resident Vermin Control Officer (the carpenter's cat) had killed a lungfish. And dropped the corpse into the second level of the river, right at the northernmost tile.

Thereby contaminating the whole river.

*facepalm*
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.
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Urist McBusDriver

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3890 on: February 22, 2011, 07:58:29 pm »

On this particular fort, I was slow about getting farm production set up, due to a lack of ponds for irrigation. I had a river right through the middle of the map, but I couldn't figure out how to drain off the water once I'd flooded the farms. I was low on food, but I ran out of booze first. 'Well, carp,' I thought. 'That's going to make this fort interesting.' Since I couldn't get the farms up any faster and the first trade caravan wasn't due for another season, I figured I'd designate a drinking zone on the river. Dorfs don't like drinking water, but it was better than nothing. So I do it, and go back to trying to work out the farms. (snip)
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.
I'm still using the old method for flooding farmland, but to make underground tree farms after I breach the first cavern. Underground trees will still only grow on muddy rock.

(The method being, dig out your farm area, dig out a cistern slightly more than 1/6th of the size next to it, dig a passage from the cistern to the river, install lever-controlled floodgates at the boundaries of those three things. Then fill the cistern, close the floodgate on the passage that lets water into the cistern, open the floodgates between the cistern and the farm, and you get 1/7th water over the whole area. Then, eventually and after you've breached the caverns, underground trees! Never go outside again.)
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Of course, since he doesn't actually walk around counting things, we can only assume that bookkeeping time is spent in deep meditation, psychically sensing exactly how many piles of orthoclase there are. It takes a while to hone a skill like that.

Pukako

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3891 on: February 22, 2011, 10:33:54 pm »

F%&^$!!!

Beautiful little fort, slow, relaxed, fun (in an unusual way for DF) - Goldpool.  Decided to create a well by digging out a wall between the fort and the river at stream level, then pumping it into a cistern.

Found a great spot, but issues with the cistern, so looked around, and found one, a level down, not realising the issue.  So I managed to flood my fortress in a way I couldn't stop just as steel was starting to come on line.

Started again, but something wrong with world - next fort was between 30 and 80 FPS at embark, without flowing water or magma...

Next three attempts crashed before embarking...

Genned new world, good site - in my attempts to flood a farm level from the river, via pump, drowned my farmer/brewer and woodworker in two separate attempts.

Not a good day for water...
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Because DF players are heavily into pain.

Ria Hawk

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3892 on: February 22, 2011, 10:56:01 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.

It was .18. This was before .19 released, and in any case, I still haven't upgraded. But not needing to irrigate soil anymore sounds promising...
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Terrahex

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3893 on: February 23, 2011, 01:25:09 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What version?
Because underground soil no longer needs irrigation in .19.

It was .18. This was before .19 released, and in any case, I still haven't upgraded. But not needing to irrigate soil anymore sounds promising...
indeed
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Rushmik

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3894 on: February 23, 2011, 02:03:34 am »

I recently abandoned a fortress cursed by cave-ins (certainly wasn't any fault of mine at all, ever.) I was pleased to note another miner reaching legendary status. A minute later he causes a cave in on the dining room, killing himself, a cat and injuring a few others.

Now, my forts are very vertical in nature and I'm a big fan of having a giant stairwell in the center. I figured I'd put a neat tower on top of it. Long story short, the construction went amiss at some point and a wall plummeted through ten or so z-levels of high-traffic stairway. I lost a legendary engraver, several more cats and it broke both legs of my other legendary miner.

I lol'd.
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Kian

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3895 on: February 23, 2011, 01:11:25 pm »

So after a few mishaps with irrigation (sometimes too much water, sometimes not enough) I decided to install a floodgate in the murky pool that would put mud on my fields. I then noticed that the murky pool was one square away from a river, and figured "Hey! I can make a bigger room if I install another floodgate in the river!" Surprisingly, despite this being one of my first forts (I tend to abandon after a couple of years when I'm dissatisfied with the layout, rather than anything going terribly wrong. Still learning the ropes, so I figure they don't count), I didn't mess up that too badly. I had the forethought to put a door in the entrance to the rest of the fort, forbade the door and made sure it was pet proof. And I made sure there were no dwarfs in the room.

So I had the future farming area nice and wet. Only I let in a little more water than I meant to, and had 3/4 water in about four 11x11 rooms. Oops. I just had to wait for it to drain, right? No big deal. I closed both floodgates and everything was fine.

Then a few seasons pass, and the water doesn't seem to be draining. I'm a little concerned, but I the caravan came and I wasn't worried for food or booze. Winter comes, and the murky pool freezes over. I suddenly have the great idea to drain the pool, by carrying out the ice, and opening the floodgate so my farm would drain into the murky pool, freeze, and I'd carry it out.

So I start channeling the ice from above (after I notice that mining it from below didn't work and I didn't want to open the floodgate). Immediately my miners get to work and I receive the message "Urist McLegendaryMiner has been encased in ice!"

What?!

I still don't know how that happened. The rest of the dwarfs kept on mining the ice happily. All the water was ice. I don't know how he managed to freeze himself in ice, since the wiki said that happened if they were in water as it froze. Die and learn, I guess. The fortress was really coming together, too. Save for the farm.

I started another one shortly after. Such a pointless death.
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Dutchling

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3896 on: February 23, 2011, 01:37:37 pm »

I wanted to build an aboveground fortress but my stupid dorfs didn't want to build my down staircase on top ofthe up staircase. So I decided they would het one more chance before i would kill them all, ofc they didnt'do it anyway and I build a small hole underground and removed the existing burrow that limited them to the area around the meeting zone and let them all drown.

*facepalm* I only realized later the the burrow casues this :(
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Scaraban

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3897 on: February 23, 2011, 03:49:11 pm »

the encased in ice is because he was standing on the outside/inside border when the water came across and instantly froze him
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Lamphare

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3898 on: February 23, 2011, 03:59:37 pm »

my newly captured, tamed and trained war elephants got so hungry and then angry so one of them decided to rip my expedition leader's head off.

somehow no matter how much grass i have in the pasture, they just stay hungry... then starving...then stacking in one tile all together. and the poor dwarf went on break with the elephants...
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Ibid Straydrink

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #3899 on: February 23, 2011, 06:51:17 pm »

my newly captured, tamed and trained war elephants got so hungry and then angry so one of them decided to rip my expedition leader's head off.

somehow no matter how much grass i have in the pasture, they just stay hungry... then starving...then stacking in one tile all together. and the poor dwarf went on break with the elephants...

Pastures sound crappy. :(
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“I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so, for all that comes to be. Deserves to perish wretchedly; 'Twere better nothing would begin."
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