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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2126628 times)

Tiruin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5085 on: September 26, 2011, 06:46:11 pm »

A vile force of darkness has arrived!!

"O no, the only thing I have to stop them are rock floodgates!! Burrow the dwarves!!"

"Pull the lever Urist!"

A few minutes later of panicking dwarves, running underground and the shutting of floodgates do I see the coming horde.

A group of axe-goblins and a Jabberer, good thing my floodgates cannot be destroyed in such a way.

Until I saw someone drop some monarch butterfly remains by the middle gate. We couldn't get it closed in time.
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Doomchild-

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5086 on: September 27, 2011, 02:54:25 am »

same fortress as my previous facepalm:
having lost 2 beekeepers to ambushes already, i decided to try again but this time burrowing my beekeeper and setting some of the hives to only be used for splitting, removing the need to go hunt the map for a new batch of bees. everything went well and eventhough my beekeeping experiment was rather small-scale, my dwarves could enjoy the ocasional mead.
then an ambush of crossbow goblins popped up and started raining death on my pastures and outside farms from higher ground. not to loose any dwarves i made a new burrow which didn't include my outside 'safe' zone (area outside my fortress, used for trading, farming, herding and beekeeping, protected by a heavily trapped entrance tunnel but unfortunatly not as safe as i would like since it's in a valley) having no clear shot at anything, the ambush proceeds to my entrance tunnel and meets its end at my dodge-trap. only lives lost were a stray bunny and a pet cavy sow. life returns to normal, then suddenly "ambush! curse them!" "Urist McBeekeeper has died" zoom to location => other side of the mountain

mental note = setting civilian alert to restrict to a burrow overrides all previous burrowing. removing the restriction does not reset those to their previous settings. Urist McBeekeeper was free to roam the map in search of bees and gobling surprises.

beekeeping suspended until a better solution can be found... no mead for my dwarves.

ps: how big does your beefarm have to be to produce sufficient honey for atleast some consistent mead production? i had 10 hives which produced about 5 honeycombs in the 2 years of active beekeeping? 2 years and 3 dwarves for ~25 units of mead seems hardly worth it.
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Martholomule

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5087 on: September 27, 2011, 10:01:09 am »

ps: how big does your beefarm have to be to produce sufficient honey for atleast some consistent mead production? i had 10 hives which produced about 5 honeycombs in the 2 years of active beekeeping? 2 years and 3 dwarves for ~25 units of mead seems hardly worth it.

I set up 40 hives with split and collect active and let the dwarves run it from there.  Well, the one beekeeper, I don't assign more than one because the beekeeping bug is a pain in the butt.  Anyway, I don't run out of mead.  I ran pretty well with about 25, but when hives come so cheap, might as well go nuts.  Plus, it's funny to see just how many bees you have in the z-stocks.  Wish i could weaponize them.
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Arbion

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5088 on: September 27, 2011, 10:16:44 am »

Breached circus for the first time, and the only survivor that remains is the mayor, waiting for his sentence in the hospital bed..  :'(
I'll never trust my brother again.
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CaptainBadwheel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5089 on: September 27, 2011, 01:13:54 pm »

Mined adamantine, had the strands extracted, watched in horror as said strands were used to sew up injured dwarfs.
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Necro910

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5090 on: September 27, 2011, 08:32:43 pm »

Mined adamantine, had the strands extracted, watched in horror as said strands were used to sew up injured dwarfs.

Breached circus for the first time, and the only survivor that remains is the mayor, waiting for his sentence in the hospital bed..  :'(
I'll never trust my brother again.
I believe we have a pattern here.

Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5091 on: September 27, 2011, 10:25:45 pm »

I had a "D" wander into my front gate while I wasn't looking.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Tlc2011

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5092 on: September 28, 2011, 12:52:55 am »

A "D"? What

Vester

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5093 on: September 28, 2011, 02:48:24 am »

A "D"? What

Either a dragon or an oversized donkey?
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5094 on: September 28, 2011, 09:32:00 am »

A "D"? What

Either a dragon or an oversized donkey?

The first one.

A giant, 1,000 year old dragon walked into my front door.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Harke the Boeotarch

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5095 on: September 28, 2011, 12:26:17 pm »

Breached circus for the first time, and the only survivor that remains is the mayor, waiting for his sentence in the hospital bed..  :'(
I'll never trust my brother again.

I too, and my mayor was the last one to go as well. I had no idea that I could only mine so much candy before they sent in the clowns.
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Vault Dweller

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5096 on: September 28, 2011, 03:03:43 pm »

Breached the cool place too, except it was on purpose because I got bored of the fortress, yet somehow nothing happened, then because it sounded cool I built stairs to it in an attempt to build future rooms for the nobles of the fortress by walling off and flooring a ceiling over the walls right in the middle of the party. Then all of a sudden, while they were halfway through completing the construction in the cool place, surprise, surprise.
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Vehudur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5097 on: September 28, 2011, 04:38:56 pm »

Just now a Vile Force of Darkness had a date with one of my masons working on a wall.
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...and a third died in his bunk of natural causes - for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one's life.

I used to have an avatar, but I was told to remove it after it kept making people go insane.

Tlc2011

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5098 on: September 28, 2011, 05:41:14 pm »

Quote
Just now a Vile Force of Darkness had a date with one of my masons working on a wall.
Hopefully that won't mean that they are going to have halfdwarf-halfgoblin children

Mrhappyface

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5099 on: September 28, 2011, 10:10:30 pm »

I Once tried to make a mild sedative syndrome that's spread by cats. However, I forgot a few zeroes when setting the ignition point. So instead of mh dwarves yawning, and then taking a peaceful nap, they scream and run around as their body roasts from the inside out.
This is the kind of sedative we should use for insomniacs and Bay12forums mental institutions  :P
A typical attempt at Dwarven !!SCIENCE!! . A complete failure at trying to pacify my populace, yet an epic win in creating a new, even more horrific way to die.  :)
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This is Dwarf Fortress. Where torture, enslavement, and murder are not only tolerable hobbies, but considered dwarfdatory.
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