- A person has no religion who has not slowly and painfully gathered one together, adding to it, shaping it, and one's religion is never complete and final, it seems, but must always be undergoing modification. -
In a small isle, in seas uncharted and rarely travelled, is a bay, known only to its occupants as the Bay 12. Long ago, a man, and yet more than a man, travelled to this lonely place and created this sanctuary, a haven for all those seeking escape from the the terrible EA, and the foul maelstrom of 4chan. This man is known only as the Toady One. At first, he was alone, save from his brother, called Threetoe. Singlehandedly, he carved the barren rock of the isle into a magnificent city, called the 'Forums'. Here, he set himself up a palace, Dwarf Fortress, and slowly the migrants arrived. Desolate, fleeing in terror from EA, they clung to the hope of freedom Toady offered. Seeing all the things he had done, they bowed to him, worshipped him, and magnified him to deity hood. His emerald robes, adorned with his amphibious namesake, became a symbol of peace and freedom. And still his palace grew ever larger, ever greater, ever more magnificent, a shining beacon to the lands beyond. But religion is a fickle thing, and lately Toady has been locked away in his palace, designing architectural marvels and weapons of war to stave off pirates and invaders. His followers grow restless without his presence, demanding that Toady reveal his new palace now. As their impatience builds, the presence of the enemy grows stronger. The pristine city stands near-empty, the ramshackle slums of 'Finally' grow ever larger. People still speak in hushed whispers of the rebellion of VN, a district of Finally that grew too large, too unruly. It adopted the holy green of Toady as their own symbol of freedom, and prepared to wage war, even giving city secrets to 4chan, allowing them to breach Toady's defences. In his pious wrath, Toady smote VN from existence, the leaders of the resistance only barely escaping his ire.
Among the slums of Finally the hapless peasants have turned to new men, new Gods.
Look, here you can see them now. Head and shoulders above the rest stands the Baron, Aqizzar. Known for his involvement in the resistance, he still openly supports Toady, and acts as a policemen amongst us Forumites if need be. His manliness and authority calm most quarrels, and it's rumoured that if that doesn't work, he'll beat you senseless with his chin.
His right hand 'man' stands nearby, towering over the puny humans - his name is Cthulhu, and he has come from lands even 4channers rarely tread. His betentacled face and non-Euclidean body strike madness into his foes, although he is more often found speaking wisdom into arguments amongst the taverns of General Discussion.
Though believers say Cthulhu is an Elder God, a being of chaos, the true God of Chaos here is ToonyMan, a refugee from VN. Where he goes, argument and senseless fighting soon follow - the Eye of Toady One watches him closely. His very presence distorts and bends the rules of Grammar, causes followers to spin maddeningly and spontaneously combust. His latest antics have been the creation of doppelgangers - this attracted the ire of Toady, and now he hides in fear of His holy wrath.
See the crowd parting? They make way for Sofia, Goddess of Terror. Another leader of the VN rebellion, her sexual deviance and horrifying brutality soon earned her the fear of the other Forumites. Despite this, she is accepted amongst the Gods, and has, thankfully, toned down her actions since the destruction of VN.
Although you will not see him here, a few of his flightless followers remain - the God of Death, Inaluct. At one time, he was the mightiest Forumite, some say second only to the Toady One himself. Unfortunately, he was swept up in the rebellion. Armies of his followers, bearing his symbol of the flightless bird, marched upon the slums of Finally and even on the main city of the Forums. Although he survived the resulting purge, he was greatly weakened by the loss of so many of his followers, and shortly thereafter left without a trace. Some of the more pious say that he is simply going to amass an army, that he will return one day with a glorious legion, reviving VN and bringing it to victory.
Look! The New Goddess Vester! A recent migrant, Vester soon arose to fame, hailed as the Goddess of Creativity. Many Forumites proudly bear her artwork, based on, and magnifying, the glory of Dwarf Fortress. As of yet, her true intentions seem unclear, but she speaks only of peace and creativity. Some say she came to fill the void left by Inaluct, who was also once hailed as a master of the arts.
Oh no - see that black shadow? Armok comes. He is the False God, the Trickster God. He changes from day to day. Some say he is a living Avatar of VN - that in its destruction, the district attained sentience and became Armok. Others remember that Armok has been around since long before that - perhaps VN was the Avatar of Armok. Either way, it is best to stay away. With him lies madness - he already challenged Vester to an artwork normal man could not complete. However, she foiled him by succeeding, creating it through the hands of her believer Fault, truly establishing herself as Goddess of Creativity.
Those are the Gods of Finally - men and women raised to deity hood by their actions and revered almost as highly as the great Toady One - but there are others. Greater than us lesser Forumites, lesser than the Gods. They wander all over Bay 12, heroes and adventurers, but not Gods.
Known well by many are the brothers - Captain and Mike Mayday. They are intimately involved with the defence of Dwarf Fortress, and of the Forums. Both have had a hand in the creation of the palace - Mike painted it, and the Captain engraved it with tales of mighty heroics. In addition, they have a strong presence amongst new Forumites, helping them settle in. They are truly great men.
Wandering idly all over Bay 12, and also over lands beyond, is our resident footpad, Kagus. Known as the travelling prophet, he is forever on the move, stopping only to speak wisdom into the hearts and lives of men. He speaks of himself modestly, as nothing more than another Forumite, but we know him to be far more than that.
Furthering Kagus' cause of enlightenment is the one known as Duke 2.0 - no one knows what happened to the original Duke. He appears to have no emotions - only rational thought. His presence spreads far and wide over Bay 12 - particularly with his latest assimilation of many of the Forumites, 'enhancing' them with mechanical implants. Some say he is close to achieving Godhood.
Finally, the Prophets of Battle and RP. This religious group has members throughout the Forums - I myself am an acolyte. For this reason, I shall list only the Heads of the Order - WorkerDrone, Strife26, Luke Prowler, Org, The Newer Martian Emperor (called by some The NME, or enemy) and Jackrabbit. Their antics are known far and wide - they adhere to a religion of both comedy and violence - and their followers are many.
I hope you found my text useful, Forumite. Its purpose was to aid you in better understanding the politics of the Gods of this isle, as I fear VN is resurfacing, more twisted than before. Pray to Toady that Dwarf Fortress is updated soon...
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Topic: Ridiculous Tales of Bay Twelvery (Read 27501 times)