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[WillowLuman]

lol

Wouldnt it be funny if we made the AVGN play this game?

[Xenogenic]

Dear Urist McHaulier,

There's a siege approaching, just drop the magnetite! Just drop it, it can't be worth a chunk of ore!

Sincerely,

The Overseer

(Yes, the goblins are approaching, and he IS heading towards the fort as ordered, but won't drop the ore which is was SLOOOOWly dragging to the stockpile...

[Sprin]

dear urist mcleverpuler
close the damn bridge!!!!
dear urist mcuntraindmilita
you will now all die thanks to yurist mcleverpuller. sory fore the inconvienc:(
sined urist mcgod!¡ ¤¤¤

[Loud Whispers]

Dead Dwarves,

It's a sad day when two valuable Dwarves die,
Especially when one gets to spend the afterlife trapped as a civet crazed for flesh and blood.
I have half the inclination to sacrifice one of you, if I had no need for you.
Fortunately for you, I do.

Don't screw up again.
~Overseer.

[Ria Hawk]

Dear Urist McBroker-

So you'll find anything else to do but trade with the Mountainhomes caravan, despite my ordering you not to do anything else. What the hell were you doing hauling things to the depot anyway? And once you did, why not just, I dunno, stay there and do your damn job? Not that anyone else was doing it. I did say anyone could trade, and no one did, but I still hold you entirely responsible for the caravan leaving before I could trade for supplies we desperately needed, what with the population explosion.

And then to add insult to injury, you'll trade with the damn hippies without complaint? Admittedly, the cloth will be somewhat useful, as I haven't got anything remotely resembling a cloth industry yet. I've been too busy scrambling to grow enough food. You know, the stuff I wanted you to buy from the dwarven caravan. Thanks to you, we will be entirely without plump helmets and all they make until the caravan next year. I hope you're proud of yourself.

You've been demoted to hauling duties, and the random peasant who mooded into a legendary stonecrafter will be getting your room in the noble quarter. Consider yourself lucky I don't have magma yet.

- Your Irate Overseer

----

Dear Urist McLegendaryStonecrafter-

Some might say a slate scepter isn't the most useful of artifacts. But you not only used the most common stone we have, but the only other things you wanted were some random bones left over from pet population control. You didn't even want some of the few shells we have. Due to your newfound legendary status, you will now be in charge of producing the main economic export and will be assigned a nicer, larger room in the noble quarter. Carry on.

- Your Appreciative Overseer

----

Dear All Other Urists-

Stop eating all the damned plump helmets. We need those for booze. You're eating them so fast that I can't even keep the farming going, because you're not leaving seeds. We have seven kinds of berry and duck eggs all over the place. We're getting honey. Stop eating the plump helmets.

- Your Facepalming Overseer

[crazysheep]

Dear All Other Urists-

Stop eating all the damned plump helmets. We need those for booze. You're eating them so fast that I can't even keep the farming going, because you're not leaving seeds. We have seven kinds of berry and duck eggs all over the place. We're getting honey. Stop eating the plump helmets.

- Your Facepalming Overseer

Dear Overseer,

Stop facepalming and come help us plant some seeds!
Raw eggs don't taste good, and neither do berries!

All other Urists

PS: Toggle the "cook" status on plump helmets to off in the Kitchen tab. They won't cook the plump helmets, and dwarves eating raw plump helmets will leave usable seeds.

[Ria Hawk]

Dear Migrants-

STOP COMING.

I don't have enough space for all of you, and the legendary dining room isn't even finished yet. You're flooding the fort, and preventing me from doing the exploratory mining necessary to get industry started properly.

Bugger off.

-Your Harassed Overseer

----

Dear Urist McLegendaryWoodcrafter-

Uh... huh. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were copying Urist McLegendaryStonecrafter. Seeing as how you made a scepter too. And at least you mooded into a Legendary. Unfortunately, this fortress is going to do little to no woodcrafting. If I need bolts, you'll be the first one I ask, but you can return to your hauling duties now. You will not be getting a better room.

- Your Confused Overseer

PS- A palm scepter that menaces with spikes of gypsum? Urist McLegendaryStonecrafter made a slate scepter with slate carbochons, cat bone decorations, and menaces with spikes of dog bone. If you are trying to copy him... you're doing it wrong.

----

PS: Toggle the "cook" status on plump helmets to off in the Kitchen tab. They won't cook the plump helmets, and dwarves eating raw plump helmets will leave usable seeds.

Ah, thanks. I had turned off cooking plump helmets, but I didn't realize that meant they'd leave the seeds. I just assumed they were eating the things, seeds and all, since I kept getting job cancellation spam for lack of seeds. I suppose that just meant my planters didn't have enough for the whole field.

[crazysheep]

PS: Toggle the "cook" status on plump helmets to off in the Kitchen tab. They won't cook the plump helmets, and dwarves eating raw plump helmets will leave usable seeds.

Ah, thanks. I had turned off cooking plump helmets, but I didn't realize that meant they'd leave the seeds. I just assumed they were eating the things, seeds and all, since I kept getting job cancellation spam for lack of seeds. I suppose that just meant my planters didn't have enough for the whole field.

Job cancellation spam may be attributed to stockpile settings.. and there are plenty of threads on that around here somewhere

[Broseph Stalin]

Ah, thanks. I had turned off cooking plump helmets, but I didn't realize that meant they'd leave the seeds. I just assumed they were eating the things, seeds and all, since I kept getting job cancellation spam for lack of seeds. I suppose that just meant my planters didn't have enough for the whole field.

When someone eats a plant and leaves seeds behind someone has to pick up the whole bag of plump helmet seeds, walk over to the dining room, and put the seed inside preventing the farmers from working.

[tahujdt]

Dear Urist McDuchess,
I know that it is sad that you did not get your boots on time. I know you love boots. However, what wisdom is there in jailing a person with absolutely no contact in the leather industry? And why, for that matter, is the person you jailed a Legendary Miner?

(Up) Yours, the Overseer.

P.S. Do you have a foot fetish or something?

[Corai]

Dear Overseer,


He was a dabbling leathercrafter! Of course he had something to do with it, refusing my wishes!



Tell Urist mcLegendary I said hi. Kisses, Duchess

[Ria Hawk]

Ah, thanks. I had turned off cooking plump helmets, but I didn't realize that meant they'd leave the seeds. I just assumed they were eating the things, seeds and all, since I kept getting job cancellation spam for lack of seeds. I suppose that just meant my planters didn't have enough for the whole field.

When someone eats a plant and leaves seeds behind someone has to pick up the whole bag of plump helmet seeds, walk over to the dining room, and put the seed inside preventing the farmers from working.

Well, that's new. Serves me right for missing a couple versions, I guess. And naturally, my farms are about six levels above the dining hall, though not horizontally far away. Oh well. I suppose that means I can safely ignore most of the cancel job spam.

[tahujdt]

Dear Overseer,


He was a dabbling leathercrafter! Of course he had something to do with it, refusing my wishes!



Tell Urist mcLegendary I said hi. Kisses, Duchess

Dear Urist McDuchess,
He is not even that! He never even touched a hide in his life! Is this something to do with the time that you laid on the ground for six months with a head injury and no one came to help? I think it was, because as soon as you woke up, you started demanding boots. We can talk about this. I am willing to mod in a psychologist noble to help you. Please don't stay bottled up like this.

Yours,

The guy who built you a palace out of solid marble

[khearn]

Ah, thanks. I had turned off cooking plump helmets, but I didn't realize that meant they'd leave the seeds. I just assumed they were eating the things, seeds and all, since I kept getting job cancellation spam for lack of seeds. I suppose that just meant my planters didn't have enough for the whole field.

When someone eats a plant and leaves seeds behind someone has to pick up the whole bag of plump helmet seeds, walk over to the dining room, and put the seed inside preventing the farmers from working.

Well, that's new. Serves me right for missing a couple versions, I guess. And naturally, my farms are about six levels above the dining hall, though not horizontally far away. Oh well. I suppose that means I can safely ignore most of the cancel job spam.

Make a food stockpile near the dining room and set it to only take prepared meals. Make some prepared meals from your eggs. Now your dwarves will eat them and leave your plump helmets alone so the brewers can make dwarven wine from them.

[Corai]

Dear migrants,


Thank you. You have not come yet! Thank you for being ever so patient for me to finish the city-blocks. They will be ready, stocked, and furnished if you stay patient.


Love, Kobold overseer


Dear worker union,


Send me miners damnit!

Hate, kobold overseer.