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[MaxZero]

Dear Urist McLedgendery-Miner

There were other squares to stand on to channel the last sections of the moat, why did you place yourself ontop of it? I have never seen this happen unless there were no other options. Now you have drowned, and so has your equal

[WillowLuman]

Tentacle ponies?

The associated imagery that that brings up when mentioned on this forum... just no. The nightmares of 40d...

[tahujdt]

We do not need another pony thread.

[Loud Whispers]

We do not need another pony thread.

I'd put more emphasis on "tentacles."

[tahujdt]

We do not need another pony thread.

I'd put more emphasis on "tentacles."

Fair enough. Lets start a new pony thread right away! Maybe a crundle thread too.

[Loud Whispers]

crundle thread too.

Too far :x

[Corai]

crundle demonic little beasts thread too.

Too far :x

I got laughs from this. Oddly enough tentacle ponies from that mod dont actually have tentacles I think. Just evil.


And another 20 minutes spent looking for that god damn story, the thing is deleted from google too.

[tahujdt]

And another 20 minutes spent looking for that god damn story, the thing is deleted from google too.

^^ this

[WillowLuman]

Dear Olith LeWoodcutteur

Why is it that when I tell you to build a fucking plank wall, do you tell me that there's someone standing in the way? Are you fucking serious? You are the last person in this entire fort left alive. There IS no one else. So you know what that means? You're standing there, where the wall needs to be, and holding the plank over your head in utter incomprehension how you can build a wall where you're standing. Then you complain that there's someone in the way. I don't even know why I let you handle sharp objects like axes. If any migrants show up before you die due to being incapable of finishing the defenses, you shall be a cleaner for the rest of your natural life. Gods only know you'll find a way to screw that up too.


Sincerely, The Voice

[Scott Cee]

Dear Urist Hammerfist the Sublime Hammer of Armok, God of Blood, Follower of the Way of the Hammer (and Biting)

When I assign raw recruits to your squad, it is for you to run hammer demonstrations, not spar with them one at a time and splatter them all over the barracks.
You may not care about anything anymore, but those peasants only wanted to learn how to use hammers effectively. What's more, many of them had close friends and very large extended families, who do care.
You may be wearing layers of plate steel and wielding a masterworked gem-encrusted legendary hammer, the enraged friends and familes of ex-recruits are not.

Thank you oh, so very much for your time.

[Fallenworldful]

Note to Urist McHammerLord:

We have specially prepared an ARTIFACT SLADE HAMMER produced at great expense to the fortress (and game stability).

Do not run outside, drop it, pick up some random training spear, and proceed in a suicidal attack.
While your loss would've acceptable, a Kobold waltzed in and stole the hammer.

We hope you enjoy the Circus.

Overseerer

[WillowLuman]

Note to Urist McHammerLord:

We have specially prepared an ARTIFACT SLADE HAMMER produced at great expense to the fortress (and game stability).

Do not run outside, drop it, pick up some random training spear, and proceed in a suicidal attack.
While your loss would've acceptable, a Kobold waltzed in and stole the hammer.

We hope you enjoy the Circus.

Overseerer

That, right there... just... wow.

[Corai]

Note to Urist McHammerLord:

We have specially prepared an ARTIFACT SLADE HAMMER produced at great expense to the fortress (and game stability).

Do not run outside, drop it, pick up some random training spear, and proceed in a suicidal attack.
While your loss would've acceptable, a Kobold waltzed in and stole the hammer.

We hope you enjoy the Circus.

Overseerer

That, right there... just... wow.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!

Dear kobold thief,



YOU ARE EPIC. YOU. ARE. EPIC.


Love, your kobold overseer

[Loud Whispers]

Note to Urist McHammerLord:

We have specially prepared an ARTIFACT SLADE HAMMER produced at great expense to the fortress (and game stability).

Do not run outside, drop it, pick up some random training spear, and proceed in a suicidal attack.
While your loss would've acceptable, a Kobold waltzed in and stole the hammer.

We hope you enjoy the Circus.

Overseerer

That, right there... just... wow.

That's just a stone cold Kobold right there.

[WillowLuman]

How does he lift that hammer?

Must be so stealthy that he smuggled in an entire pack animal to carry it then smuggled them all out together, that's how!