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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 885273 times)

Teneb

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1470 on: August 05, 2011, 11:56:06 am »

Is this the end of Failcannon? I hope not.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
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What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1471 on: August 05, 2011, 12:00:13 pm »

Is this the end of Failcannon? I hope not.

I think it's a touch soon to be speculating about that.  At this point I believe we effectively have 3 rebels, one of which is lying unconscious in a scrapheap, and of the other two only one has proven to be seriously dangerous.  There's some serious disarray, but I'm confident FailCannon can weather the storm.
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Strategia

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1472 on: August 05, 2011, 01:22:36 pm »

rridgway, Strategia, others - I would love to dorf you all, but I haven't even got any unnamed dorfs for MYSELF yet.


I know, I was just claiming the first remotely skilled cheesemaker to immigrate. I'm still torn between ghostly possession, or an erstwhile apprentice. Or a quantum-mechanical hiccup.

Johuotar

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1473 on: August 05, 2011, 02:17:27 pm »

Isn't the amount of migrants limited? I havent gotten any migrants in my game to replace those who died so my fort got quite boring.
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[img height=x width=y]http://LINK TO IMAGE HERE[/img]
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Paaaad

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1474 on: August 05, 2011, 03:15:08 pm »

Say... I thought of a coupple Aloys that we could add: White gold, Green Gold, and Mokume-gane, or Burl Metal.
How Feasable do you think this would be?

No Mokume-gane studding of course...

P.S.: By the way, if a rewind is agreed on when this fort ends, I have a save we can use right here. I took year 2 from Battlefailed and replaced the raw file with the one from the latest Failcannon save.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 03:41:48 pm by Paaaad »
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CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1475 on: August 05, 2011, 08:20:29 pm »

Quick update before the real one, important events occurred moments after I loaded DF up.
-----------

Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies Major - 23rd Slate 535

The journey was long and arduous.  Though we prepared carefully, not all of us would survive to see Failcannon.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of the many wagons leaving Graspedseduced, some dozen came with us toward the frigid south.  Soon, ours was the only one.  When we arrived at Ungegugath, we were just four in number.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We were in poor health.


Myself, Keltiknight, Katsuun, and Darvi were the only survivors of the long trail.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Poor Urist.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We lost our own wagon, and all our animals as well.  But the end was in sight...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
When we arrived at Failcannon, we heard:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
the dying moans of an injured soldier filling the cold, foul air...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
the screams of an Ettin, being tormented by the Captain of the Guard...

And the tale I related to you earlier.  At this time, I am told, the military had just been assigned to take up positions guarding the makeshift, overcrowded hospital, to await the next assault from the renegade dwarfs.  Tension was in the air, thick as the sludgy waters of the Blueness.

-----------

So yeah, WE HAVE DWARFS.  Not many, and I couldn't figure out a good order of priority for dwarfing requests (they go back at least 12 pages in the thread unfulfilled, so I decided to simplify by dorfing those next in the turn order first.  I hope no one minds.

Hope you enjoyed!  Much bigger, more serious update to come later tonight.
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

rridgway

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1476 on: August 05, 2011, 08:31:07 pm »

If you can, you might want to keep these new guys outside until the loyalty cascade stops, just to be safe.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1477 on: August 05, 2011, 08:46:11 pm »

Purge the fortress, then let the migrants in.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
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Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
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If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1478 on: August 05, 2011, 09:17:27 pm »

I actually couldn't find a way to stop them from getting in, yet no one's killing each other suddenly.  *shrug*  I'm just going to do my best to keep the troublemakers seperated.

I mentioned a !!plan!!
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1479 on: August 05, 2011, 09:37:34 pm »

I mentioned a !!plan!!

Sure, but any time there's a plan involved in Failcannon, it inevitably ends in either a tantrum spiral, the accidental death of over a dozen dwarves by FB/titan or miscellaneous !!Fun!!.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1480 on: August 05, 2011, 09:53:18 pm »

Even more so if the plan itself is on fire. And it might be just what we need.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Eric Blank

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1481 on: August 05, 2011, 10:17:33 pm »

A loyalty cascade? Really, Seth?

I was hoping the end would at least come about naturally.

I will have my revenge, as soon as my ghosts arise to haunt yours.

Failcannon, city of ghosts, city of the damned!
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I make Spellcrafts!
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rridgway

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1482 on: August 05, 2011, 11:40:16 pm »

A loyalty cascade? Really, Seth?

I was hoping the end would at least come about naturally.

I will have my revenge, as soon as my ghosts arise to haunt yours.

Failcannon, city of ghosts, city of the damned!

This is Failcannon, you were surprised when our dwarves began killing each other?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1483 on: August 05, 2011, 11:46:46 pm »

A loyalty cascade is a perfectly acceptable way for a fortress to die. It's basically a tantrum spiral, just with less throwing of furniture and more murder. What's not to love? Besides, if/when the fort barely survives, we'll have survived the best the game can throw at us short of the HFS.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

CatalystParadox

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #1484 on: August 05, 2011, 11:53:55 pm »

Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies Major

I must tell you a secret.  I am not like other dwarfs.

From the day I was born I have had... a talent.  To the elves it is a "gift", but what would you expect from a race that thinks chewing on their dead siblings raw toes is a good way to "return them to nature" anyway?  For any dwarf, this ability is a curse.

I can read minds.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Well, okay, so its not quite so dramatic as that.  Those words make it sound so clear, when in truth the minds of men and dwarves are murkier than the Blueness.  I can sense moods, feel a person's good or bad thoughts, just by looking at them.  Sometimes I get glimpses of what they're doing, from far away.  I dreamed about the riots every night, along the whole journey to Failcannon, you see - how else could I have known in such detail what transpired? 

This may sound useful to you but... try to imagine, for a moment, what it would really be like.  It cannot be turned off.  You can hear and feel all the minds around you - the mad ones, the despairing ones, the fey ones, the drunk ones and the ecstatic ones and those so hardened by the horrors they have seen they feel as blank and stark as fresh-forged steel.  Constantly.

Truly, Hell is other dwarves.

When I came to Failcannon, I already knew their fears, their anger, their hopes and their despair.  I knew about the riots, of course, and that an emergency election would soon be called in response, as some shouted that not only did Mekboy not do enough, as Mayor, to prevent the riots, but also participated in them. 

Sharing my secret with you serves two purposes.  First, so you may understand how I so easily assuaged the fears of these poor dwarves even as I played on them.  But second, and more importantly, so you understand that I did not want this.  Personal gain was the furthest thing from my mind, and I still feel terrible for exploiting their trust.  But Failcannon was tearing itself apart from within - and it seemed I was the only one with the power to heal it.

It was Ledi V who met us as we arrived, and gave us our tour of Upper Failcannon.  Once we spoke of the current state of the settlment, she was easily persuaded to call for the vote herself.  After that, debating Mekboy was no trouble - anticipating every talking point he had left him flustered, and I have always exuded a perfect calm that I seldom feel.

Once duly elected Mayor, I assigned myself the now-abandoned quarters in a tower with green glass windows overlooking the viscous, roiling waves of the Blueness of Malodors - a place I can be away from the others and have some peace.  A lonely, grim sort of accomodations, but they are my only respite.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My first acts as mayor were to make a few restructurings to the military - then, I assigned the Rough Tightnesses, the Hollow Hammers, and the Paddles of Disembowelment (under the command of such great warriors as Tupu and Mipe) to cancel their standing orders to guard the hospital, and instead to gather and inform the newly appointed soldiers of the Bronze Shoves of their new orders - to guard the sea.

Keltiknight and Katsuun were with Flagrarus when he went to inform Takua of his duties.  Takua, despite lying in a rubbish heap for the month previous to this, crippled and dying, resisted.  And suddenly, the terrible truth behind the riots was clear.  No sooner had Takua touched Katsuun, but she too joined in combat against Keltiknight!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This was no mere rebellion, but possession at the hands of the demon-queen and her servitors!  This "Enchanted Labor of Treaties" were her mind-slaves, infesting our fortress!  I shouted for the military to retreat at once... but soon, DuckThatQuacks was emerging from below, and I heard the sounds of battle coming from the Hospital.  Greader had been hiding in a food stockpile nearby for days, waiting for the guard to be distracted.  He was locked in battle with Elderont - good.  Elderont was capable, he should make short work of Greader, gods willing.  While Keltiknight beat Takua senseless with a silver flask, below we heard the constant clang of DuckThatQuacks axe against poor unconscious lupusater's helm... Lupusater, who somehow managed to escape the entire affair unscathed, despite quite literally DAYS of being bashed by Duck. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Takua finally succumbed to the beating, with neither of the two guardsmen affected by Led's curse.  Katsuun was struck down by a swift blow from ThatAussieDwarf's pick, on her way to the sea. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Flagrarus, however, had been infected by the curse, and soon joined in combat with ThatAussieDwarf as well.  That left Duck and Greader - ever the most dangerous of the lot.

Elderont never managed to rouse from his sleep as Greader beat him with the butt of his crossbow, but lay there peacefull as he was thumped for perhaps a week, as if the crushing blows were naught but taps.  I consider him a hero for serving as so effective a distraction.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Greader then moved on to fight Mipe - who also seemed unable to rouse. The surviving military immediately scrambled, and a bloodbath ensued in the hospital.  Greader was struck down - but not before spreading the curse again - somehow all the way to Ledi, who was on her way to assist.  I ordered the military to withdraw, again, and hole up in the hospital.  Unlike the battle that we fought there, we could afford to let this play out.

Elsewhere, The True Mekboy, coming to help the rest in the hospital, chanced across Duck, still beating Lupusater, and unfortunately attracted his attention. Mekboy died swiftly, and Duck resumed what was rapidly becoming his full time profession.  Lupusater was dreaming peacefully.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I, meanwhile, was meeting with ThatAussieDwarf.  Discussing... strategy.  Well, an exit strategy, at least.  I figured if anyone here had an emergency get-the-hell-out-of-dodge plan in reserve for situations like this, it would be him.  And lo, he did have a plan!  One... slightly too convoluted to spell out here, but...  Well.  It starts like this:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I think you can imagine the rest.

Both Ledi and Duck continue to stab ineffectually at their opponents adamantine helms.  The fort is at an impasse for now...  And my !!plan!! is at a standstill.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

~ 8th Felsite, Year 535

-----------

Sorry to leave things still unresolved, but I'm getting exhausted.  It's slow going as I try to document these fast-paced events, and moreso as I try to do ANYTHING I possibly can to stop them.  Sending the guard is a poor idea, as thoroughly demonstrated, but I can't prevent the fights anyway because there are injured dwarves laying about most of the fortress anyway!  If I can just wait it out until the last 2 rebels finally finish beating on those poor immortal adamantine-helmed bastards, I might still be able to implement some variant of The Plan, and be rid of them for good and all.

Edit: Oh, and it doesn't help that both the fights are taking place in food stockpiles.

Seth, if you actually did cause this deliberately, you are a magnificent bastard and I love you.

Current Population - 26 Dwarves
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 11:59:13 pm by CatalystParadox »
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.
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