Post by: Skorpion on April 04, 2009, 07:37:32 pm
When I find who did that, his quarters will be engraved.
Post by: Smew on April 04, 2009, 07:44:16 pm
He was throwing himself down exactly one z level, over and over, this was my second dwarf, so I had no idea what the problem was, I thought his pathing was broken or something.
So I dug out what he was jumping off of, and he proceeded to run around.
And then he jumped into a pit full of 2-3/7 water, I nearly died laughing, thinking up some cruel metaphor, like trying to suicide off a bridge into a tiny stream.
Post by: Heron TSG on April 04, 2009, 08:42:51 pm
he didn't fly, he just exploded all over my new walls.
Post by: Deadmeat1471 on April 04, 2009, 08:56:02 pm
Post by: Luckymoose on April 04, 2009, 09:02:08 pm
Post by: Katsuun on April 04, 2009, 09:10:54 pm
Post by: Skelodwarf on April 04, 2009, 09:25:40 pm
He didn't make it.
Post by: Jim Groovester on April 04, 2009, 09:27:02 pm
Post by: Org on April 04, 2009, 09:28:02 pm
Sadly the town died of burning.
Everyone in it. Dead. PAGES OF
The Child has dropped its !!Elf Bone Necklace!!
Post by: sonerohi on April 04, 2009, 09:29:35 pm
Post by: Awayfarer on April 04, 2009, 09:38:23 pm
Well, this might be more like a one-in-a-thousand moment. A goblin siege got broken up by a squad of champions about 15 paces from my fort's main gate. Five z-levels up, directly over that gate was a room with fortifications for marksdwarves to shoot from. They didn't.
Now, while the champs easily dispatched the siege, I was a little irritated that my lazy marksdwarves decided not to shoot. I look at the room and, sure enough, all the marksdwarves are absent, presumably drinking or sleeping. What I did find was a single goblin leg that had apparently been severed with so much force that it flew 5 z-levels up and 15 away and jammed itself into a fortification.
Post by: Atlas on April 04, 2009, 10:45:43 pm
In my experience, one-in-a-million chances happen nine times out of ten.Discworld!
Post by: AncientEnemy on April 04, 2009, 10:51:10 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Smew on April 04, 2009, 11:22:47 pm
I don't know if this is one-in-a-million or not but during my first experience with HFS:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Sizik on April 05, 2009, 12:34:59 am
I once had a dwarf run infront of a ballista in a tower the exact second it fired, he got skewered kebab style. ;DI once "stationed" (repeated lever pulling) a noble in front of a ballista (with a fortification again) and fired. He escaped with only a hand injury.
Post by: Saunatonttu on April 05, 2009, 01:35:22 am
Kobold stumbled on ramp, and some blood fell to the ground. My copletely untrained, unarmored and unarmed farmer saw the blood, went crazy, ignored his orders, and ripped the lightly injured kobold bowman to two with his bare hands, killing him. The other 10 kobolds instantly fled the map. Rambo dwarf:D
Post by: Neoskel on April 05, 2009, 01:50:20 am
What would be really funny is if the hand injury is just a sprain from pulling the lever too much and nothing to do with the ballista bolt. :PI once had a dwarf run infront of a ballista in a tower the exact second it fired, he got skewered kebab style. ;DI once "stationed" (repeated lever pulling) a noble in front of a ballista (with a fortification again) and fired. He escaped with only a hand injury.
Post by: AncientEnemy on April 05, 2009, 02:04:05 am
I don't know if this is one-in-a-million or not but during my first experience with HFS:Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Smew on April 05, 2009, 02:07:10 am
I don't know if this is one-in-a-million or not but during my first experience with HFS:Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: RAM on April 05, 2009, 02:42:03 am
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 05, 2009, 06:08:33 am
LoL?
Post by: Mount on April 05, 2009, 08:34:03 am
I had a bunch of monkeys walk in my fort, ignore evryone and evrything on there way to the Kings Room - there they took his pants and left again.
And now I must make a fortress named Monkeypants in tribute to this!
Post by: Hoborobo234 on April 05, 2009, 09:13:09 am
Post by: Phazer on April 05, 2009, 11:09:57 am
it began when my i reclaimed a fort because of the Spirits of Fire that killed me because i wasent ready.
anyway, when i arrived i fixed everything to what it were before the carnage.
then my fishers, 2 of em died in the cave river because the monster had respawned, as everyone is friends when you reclaim you would know that everyone went tantruming. now to the one-in-a-million moment.
my craftdwarf took up 25 bolts and began throw it around he killed about 7 dwarfs because Lungs/heart pierce shots.
talk about enraging and fun.
Post by: Jurph on April 05, 2009, 11:29:18 am
I've dug out a huge sword-shaped great hall in her honor, and once it's engraved, she gets a great bedroom in the pommel of the sword.
Post by: SolarShado on April 05, 2009, 11:40:39 am
in my latest fort, the trade depot it just outside the front door. human caravan arrives, i designate a bunch of crap to be brought to trade. and every dwarf who comes outside vomits between the door and the depot. i could see them pouring out of the door carying bins, pausing to viloently vomit, then carrying on like nothing happened.
Post by: Karadan on April 05, 2009, 12:08:58 pm
Post by: Slinkyfest on April 05, 2009, 12:25:00 pm
Post by: Nirur Torir on April 05, 2009, 12:57:57 pm
He was my original miner who got hurt from a collapsed building somewhere, and spent several months in bed. Eventually he got tired of being thirsty, and went melancholy. With all four limbs mangled, he managed to crawl down several flights of stairs (stopping constantly to collapse from pain, of course) towards the statue garden. As soon as he entered, his lover threw a party in that statue garden. I think he died of thirst sometime during the party.
I'm still not sure exactly where he was going, but I had been using the statue garden as a central hub for the rest of the fortress, with the hospital area near the entrance.
Post by: Mephansteras on April 05, 2009, 01:12:21 pm
In my experience, one-in-a-million chances happen nine times out of ten.
Well, this might be more like a one-in-a-thousand moment. A goblin siege got broken up by a squad of champions about 15 paces from my fort's main gate. Five z-levels up, directly over that gate was a room with fortifications for marksdwarves to shoot from. They didn't.
Now, while the champs easily dispatched the siege, I was a little irritated that my lazy marksdwarves decided not to shoot. I look at the room and, sure enough, all the marksdwarves are absent, presumably drinking or sleeping. What I did find was a single goblin leg that had apparently been severed with so much force that it flew 5 z-levels up and 15 away and jammed itself into a fortification.
I just had something very similar happen. Battle at the main gate, sealed-access archery tower over the gate. Although mine did have the archers participating. Anyway, we mop up the ambush easily enough and I look around to unforbid stuff. I find a bloody, forbidden iron pike sitting up next to my archers in their ammo pile. No arm or anything, just the pike in a pool of blood. It is possible that the attached arm was already removed by a hauler by the time I looked up there but...that had to be freaky for the archers no matter what.
Post by: Riversand on April 05, 2009, 01:28:59 pm
Post by: Mount on April 05, 2009, 01:37:06 pm
this is funny. in this community fort i'm unning, i predesigned the 'core' of my fortress, and well, so fa it seems to be all walled with magnetite ore! rough hewn magnetite walls! and just my luck... i brought no anvil at the start! that's funny.
it'd be awesome if magnetite walls could immobilize dwarfs or other critters carrying iron/steel items.. You'd have like, the ultimate siege-proof entrance! (well, unless you got mobbed by a horde of enemies with bronze...)
Post by: kotekzot on April 05, 2009, 01:51:17 pm
i'd have a nerdgasm if that was possible.this is funny. in this community fort i'm unning, i predesigned the 'core' of my fortress, and well, so fa it seems to be all walled with magnetite ore! rough hewn magnetite walls! and just my luck... i brought no anvil at the start! that's funny.
it'd be awesome if magnetite walls could immobilize dwarfs or other critters carrying iron/steel items.. You'd have like, the ultimate siege-proof entrance! (well, unless you got mobbed by a horde of enemies with bronze...)
Post by: GenericOverusedName on April 05, 2009, 08:06:03 pm
Now, I had my usual embark group. 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 miners, 2 woodcutters/carpenters, 1 farmer, 1 hunter and 1 mason/engraver/architect.
Wagon spawned practically on top of the cave entrance. Everyone runs away immediately, except for the hunter. He wastes all his bolts at a nearby zombie troll, whacks another one upside the head with the crossbow and somehow loses it, then charges at the dragon and RIPS IT APART WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Everyone else is being eaten or on fire, but he's tossing around wings and scales and limbs like no tomorrow. Not only that, but he somehow managed to kill the megabeast without any injuries.
Sadly, a pack of skeletal naked mole dogs took him down afterwards.
Edit: I grammur gud!
Post by: Skelodwarf on April 05, 2009, 08:31:10 pm
Sadly, a pack skeletal naked mole dogs took him down afterwards.
That's how they get ya!
Post by: Aspgren on April 05, 2009, 09:08:30 pm
Kobold avoids 20+ bolts, kobold is attacked by a war dog and has his arm broken, kobold kills war dog, kobold outruns 3 swordsdwarves and about 5 war dogs. Kobold lives to fight another day.
Moody player crushes the remains of bad wardog under drawbridge.
(edit) I forgot to mention. The kobold ran right past 2 cagetraps the bastard.
Post by: forsaken1111 on April 05, 2009, 11:12:25 pm
I had, in a previous fortress, a superdwarvenly tough champion axelord, we will call him Urist McBadass, who had singlehandedly fought off three (non-bow) goblin sieges. One day he was patrolling around some goblin gear (I have to have him patrol near gear before letting people retrieve it due to the frequency of werewolves and undead) and it just so happens he is close enough to the underground pool to notice all the olm-men and frog-men in there.
So of course he shoots off towards them, and I'm thinking "Oh he's going to stand on the shore until they come out to fight". Boy was I wrong...
This dwarf JUMPS INTO THE WATER and finishes killing EVERY SINGLE CREATURE in the pool before he runs out of air. He then climbs back out of the water and goes off to have a light snack, as if this were an everyday thing. To be clear, he managed to slaughter and dismember 7 frog-men, 4 olm-men and one snake-man before he was out of breath, and then he climbed back out of the water. After that he was a 2 skill swimmer.
I gave him his own house on top of the mountain, with his own mountain tomb. He did eventually die...
At some point magma men had climbed out and terrorized my miners who were attempting to set up a magma channel. Urist McBadass notices this as he is chasing a werewolf and runs full-tilt for the two magma men. He kills one really quickly but somehow loses his axe. Can axes get stuck in people? Anyway this didn't deter Mr. McBadass, as he proceeded to WRESTLE A BEING MADE OF MAGMA. He lost both arms up to the elbow in the initial grab, and then (I assume, because he had no hands) bit the magma man to death before dying himself in the heat.
It was a sad day, and I entombed his artifact golden axe with him, along with his masterpiece steel armor. We locked the double golden doors and bricked up the entrance with his favorite stone, stibnite. I had been pitting the bodies of everything he killed into his tomb, starting when he achieved champion status, so there were quite a lot of bones in there.
Post by: Aspgren on April 05, 2009, 11:24:40 pm
Can axes get stuck in people?
Yes I had a miner who killed a goblin bowman by lodging a pickaxe firmly in his throat. This is why you can check that the soldiers carry 2 weapons ... and if you've forbidden yout dwarves to pick up what enemies drop automatically it's the reason you'll find bolts and arrows in beds. Dwarves lie down, pull it out, get better, leave it there.
Post by: Sowelu on April 07, 2009, 02:02:00 pm
Quote from: Mount link=topic=33553.msg496342#msg496342
it'd be awesome if magnetite walls could immobilize dwarfs or other critters carrying iron/steel items.. You'd have like, the ultimate siege-proof entrance! (well, unless you got mobbed by a horde of enemies with bronze...)
*assigns three dwarves to Push Button/R*
*fort blows up when they all go to sleep at the same time*
Post by: Puck on April 07, 2009, 02:21:22 pm
This dwarf JUMPS INTO THE WATER and finishes killing EVERY SINGLE CREATURE in the pool before he runs out of air. He then climbs back out of the water and goes off to have a light snack, as if this were an everyday thing. To be clear, he managed to slaughter and dismember 7 frog-men, 4 olm-men and one snake-man before he was out of breath, and then he climbed back out of the water. After that he was a 2 skill swimmer.ummm... stairs involved? or can swimmers get in and out of the water just around the normal "ledges"?
Post by: kotekzot on April 07, 2009, 02:30:04 pm
they can if they are higher than novices i believe. being superdwarvenly tough made him able to endure enough drowning to gain novice skill and catch his breath. at least that's my theory.This dwarf JUMPS INTO THE WATER and finishes killing EVERY SINGLE CREATURE in the pool before he runs out of air. He then climbs back out of the water and goes off to have a light snack, as if this were an everyday thing. To be clear, he managed to slaughter and dismember 7 frog-men, 4 olm-men and one snake-man before he was out of breath, and then he climbed back out of the water. After that he was a 2 skill swimmer.ummm... stairs involved? or can swimmers get in and out of the water just around the normal "ledges"?
hell, i once removed brains from orcs in the raws and one tough orc crawled 20 tiles in the direction of my fortress before dying. his body must've been animated by sheer badassery.
Post by: Marko on April 07, 2009, 02:49:14 pm
Post by: MastaODisasta on April 07, 2009, 02:54:44 pm
I got it all on tape too.
http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-592-laststand
Post by: Hectonkhyres on April 07, 2009, 04:28:50 pm
Then my hammerer got released. This freak (aided by a hammer that I theorize was fashioned by Armok himself out of the core of a neutron star) could one-hit anybody in my fortress and he had been prevented from acting on his homicidal urges. He splatters a troll, runs halfway across the fortress and splatters one of my dwarves, does a U-turn and goes and splatters a couple gobbos, splatters another dwarf. The damn bastard is killing everybody.
I end up sending a suicide
Best. Game. Ever.
Post by: Anotu on April 07, 2009, 04:50:46 pm
Not, perhaps, the rarest event given how awesome champions could be, but the fact that the battle took the exact length of the song that was on a random playlist I had no idea I even had it on...
Awesome ;D
Post by: creidieki on April 09, 2009, 04:34:18 pm
So. I just saw a champion hammerdwarf send a goblin flying. Into another goblin. Stunning it. With the corpse of it's friend.
When I find who did that, his quarters will be engraved.
I had the same thing happen in reverse. A legendary macegoblin was leading a siege against me, and had gotten ahead of his troops. Two of my war dogs saw him first and charged forward.
He killed the first dog with one blow, sending its corpse flying 7-8 squares, where it stunned and knocked over the second dog.
Post by: GenericOverusedName on April 09, 2009, 04:45:20 pm
Dog-a-pults (bridges) aren't very effective against sieges, though. I suppose if I funnel all the gobbos into the landing zone, it'd work better...
*runs off to experiment*
Post by: zchris13 on April 09, 2009, 05:43:22 pm
Post by: grendel on April 10, 2009, 02:22:04 am
Post by: CloisteredSyrups on April 10, 2009, 05:43:25 am
A human caravan came one time with a rather ordinary looking swordsman in it's company.
The area I was in had a GCS right in the open. It had it's webs all along the cliffside of the mountain in the northeast. The place also had a chasm nearby, to give you a sense of the rocky geography.
The caravan came in just fine from the southeast - my little road was covered by what I call "police towers", small marksdorf platforms accessed only from below meant for picking off melee critters that might harass the merchants, which on this map was a serious issue.
Trade went well blah blah, but when they left, they left northeast.
...
I think I blinked and missed the flying limbs of the merchants when they met Hamlet (my pet name for the GCS), but somehow, some way, the regular swordsman managed to hack off 7 of it's legs, blind it, and generally slice it up before he finally died.
I didn't even see him do it. I don't know how he managed it. But by Armok, Hamlet, the Horror of Hammerhames was vanquished. (it took one more bolt to the skull from my opportunism.)
I built a tomb/monument for the humanling. Couldn't engrave it in the tomb, but eventually my engravers made a portrait of him fighting the spider. I think it was along the main under-highway.
-----
One in a million moment:
One time, my dwarves actually did their jobs quietly without anyone going insane for an ENTIRE SEASON.
I was stunned.
Post by: zchris13 on April 10, 2009, 10:13:25 am
One in a million moment:Oh, yeah! I know! My just did that! I was like, WTF, Mate?
One time, my dwarves actually did their jobs quietly without anyone going insane for an ENTIRE SEASON.
I was stunned.
Post by: Lord_Shadow on April 10, 2009, 01:55:29 pm
Post by: Remalle on April 10, 2009, 02:03:40 pm
In the first week he snapped the chain holding him, and was promptly sentence to another two weeks. He died of thirst three days before his sentence expired - meaning if he hadn't snapped the chain he would've survived.
Eventually the dwarves elected a new mayor, a wounded hunter. Not five seconds later he goes insane.
It was awesome.
Post by: Mister Thou on April 10, 2009, 02:52:47 pm
I think this is pretty funny by itself, but after several years of lying comatose in a hospital bed, the stonecrafter is inspired to create an artifact. He wakes up and manages to drag himself around using his arms, carrying, among other things, extremely heavy raw gold nuggets to his shop and eventually finishes his artifact. He is now legendary, and comatose again. Due to having spent nearly his entire time at my fortress in a coma, his one and only relationship (he doesn't even have any passing aquaintances) is his pet donkey, which still hangs around the hospital all the time pining for its master, who paralyzed himself while trying to kill it.
Post by: Asehujiko on April 10, 2009, 04:31:07 pm
Post by: zchris13 on April 10, 2009, 07:29:43 pm
I get as tired of my dwarfs' pets as anybody else, and in my most recent fort, I built a simple device for getting rid of them. It's pretty simple and involves an upright spike and a lever. Of course my favorite part is that it forces the pets' owners to murder their own pets. It works fine for a while and I get ready to eliminate my last pet. The owner, a stonecrafter, gets to the lever but only pulls it once before getting bored or going off to eat or something. The spike extends just as he is walking over it and impales him through the lower body, breaking his spine.That right there is some Epic RP.
I think this is pretty funny by itself, but after several years of lying comatose in a hospital bed, the stonecrafter is inspired to create an artifact. He wakes up and manages to drag himself around using his arms, carrying, among other things, extremely heavy raw gold nuggets to his shop and eventually finishes his artifact. He is now legendary, and comatose again. Due to having spent nearly his entire time at my fortress in a coma, his one and only relationship (he doesn't even have any passing aquaintances) is his pet donkey, which still hangs around the hospital all the time pining for its master, who paralyzed himself while trying to kill it.
Post by: Aspgren on April 10, 2009, 07:58:51 pm
I get as tired of my dwarfs' pets as anybody else, and in my most recent fort, I built a simple device for getting rid of them. It's pretty simple and involves an upright spike and a lever. Of course my favorite part is that it forces the pets' owners to murder their own pets. It works fine for a while and I get ready to eliminate my last pet. The owner, a stonecrafter, gets to the lever but only pulls it once before getting bored or going off to eat or something. The spike extends just as he is walking over it and impales him through the lower body, breaking his spine.
I think this is pretty funny by itself, but after several years of lying comatose in a hospital bed, the stonecrafter is inspired to create an artifact. He wakes up and manages to drag himself around using his arms, carrying, among other things, extremely heavy raw gold nuggets to his shop and eventually finishes his artifact. He is now legendary, and comatose again. Due to having spent nearly his entire time at my fortress in a coma, his one and only relationship (he doesn't even have any passing aquaintances) is his pet donkey, which still hangs around the hospital all the time pining for its master, who paralyzed himself while trying to kill it.
This is awesome.
Pray tell what artifact did he create?
Post by: Mister Thou on April 10, 2009, 08:19:25 pm
This is awesome.
Pray tell what artifact did he create?
He created Betanuvel, "The Calm Bear", a native gold scepter, valued at 196,800☼
Post by: zchris13 on April 10, 2009, 09:13:56 pm
Post by: Orkel on April 11, 2009, 09:53:15 am
In the skyscraper that I built, the first baby had suicided by jumping off the roof. Around 15 stories high, too. The reason? His parents got killed in a goblin ambush earlier, and he was miserable. Second one had also a similar reason.
And the bodies were on the prison building's roof, next to the skyscraper. That's why I didn't find them earlier. I checked it accidentally, and saw a pile of dwarf bones plus a rotting baby body next to them. Quickly built stairs to the prison's roof, and the rest of the dwarves took the babies, or what was left of them, to their graves.
Pic of the fall:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And another, two stories which happened at the same spot, second happened because I forgot about the first. These happened in my other aboveground fort, not the one pictured above:
1. I learned not to build floor tiles at the end of drawbridges. Especially when they're 16 Z-levels high on the top of a skyscraper. The floor collapsed immediately when it was built, causing it to crash straight through the roof of my prison, and the ensulting blast of dust and debris knocked three dwarves and a cat unconscious. The engraver who built the floor smashed a few seconds after onto the prison roof and exploded. And then his kid who was with him fell too, but SURVIVED somehow. He died a few seconds later on his bed due to the massive injuries sustained.
2: I built a floor at the same spot again because I wasn't thinking. This time the piece of floor fell NEXT to my prison, smashed through two god damn levels of earth and finally exploded in my largest food stockpile at Z-level -2 (0 being ground level), knocking half of my fort (they were all eating/drinking there) unconscious. Oh, and the guy who made the floor also fell down, but missed the gaping hole the floor made and smashed next to it.
Post by: Kidiri on April 11, 2009, 10:35:43 am
I'm still not sure exactly where he was going, but I had been using the statue garden as a central hub for the rest of the fortress, with the hospital area near the entrance.Why, his birthday party, of course! I can imagine his spouse going: "Happy Birthday, honey! Not many reach your age in this outpost, here." Just moments after, he collapses. "Oh, well, let's not get this party go to waste!" his wife says and so the party ensues.
Post by: Lemunde on April 11, 2009, 12:07:04 pm
Post by: IceShade on April 11, 2009, 01:39:01 pm
I got a message that a baby had died from collision. I didn't find the body ANYWHERE. But after a while I got another similar message. Now I found the body and figured out what happened.
In the skyscraper that I built, the first baby had suicided by jumping off the roof. Around 15 stories high, too. The reason? His parents got killed in a goblin ambush earlier, and he was miserable. Second one had also a similar reason.
And the bodies were on the prison building's roof, next to the skyscraper. That's why I didn't find them earlier. I checked it accidentally, and saw a pile of dwarf bones plus a rotting baby body next to them. Quickly built stairs to the prison's roof, and the rest of the dwarves took the babies, or what was left of them, to their graves.
Pic of the fall:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
And another, two stories which happened at the same spot, second happened because I forgot about the first. These happened in my other aboveground fort, not the one pictured above:
1. I learned not to build floor tiles at the end of drawbridges. Especially when they're 16 Z-levels high on the top of a skyscraper. The floor collapsed immediately when it was built, causing it to crash straight through the roof of my prison, and the ensulting blast of dust and debris knocked three dwarves and a cat unconscious. The engraver who built the floor smashed a few seconds after onto the prison roof and exploded. And then his kid who was with him fell too, but SURVIVED somehow. He died a few seconds later on his bed due to the massive injuries sustained.
2: I built a floor at the same spot again because I wasn't thinking. This time the piece of floor fell NEXT to my prison, smashed through two god damn levels of earth and finally exploded in my largest food stockpile at Z-level -2 (0 being ground level), knocking half of my fort (they were all eating/drinking there) unconscious. Oh, and the guy who made the floor also fell down, but missed the gaping hole the floor made and smashed next to it.
Nice fortress!
Physics in DF are awesome. I once had a project that consisted of a few air bridges. Eventually I decided to demolish the structures and caused an organized "cave in" / collapse of the structures. Support gone, boom goes the bridge.. and debris smacks right into an old tunnel I used for irrigation, including the wall that held the lake/murky pool in place.
"We have a flooding in isle 3, we have a flooding in isle 3."
Post by: Octyl on April 11, 2009, 08:58:10 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: mjo625 on April 11, 2009, 09:08:38 pm
Post by: Cthulhu on April 11, 2009, 09:38:09 pm
Post by: Itnetlolor on April 11, 2009, 09:41:11 pm
I had a pretty decent setup for a simple fort, mostly underground, with towers sprouting from all around at key points (since it was built in a hillside, I needed good security).
Well, I was minding my business training new marksdwarves and expanding my security stations, when all of a sudden *SIEGE*!!!
2 Gob squads with 1 legendary marksman, and I think a human swordsman was in with the raid too (for Armok only knows why, but he was in with them somehow). Anyway, human aside, the f***ing marksgob killed off most of my security force.
Now comes the sad, unlikely part. One of my better defenders was a good +2 Z above the raiders, and from a long distance, I swear that gob had to be trained by Elves, he shot an arrow through my fortification +2 above him, with a wall in front of him, and a long distance, striking my marksdwarf, AND HER CHILD, simultaneously between the eyes with a single arrow, killing them both in an instant.
And the funny part to balance the sad. The raiding army decided to continue the raid, only to have their army lost to a handful of cages and a hall of stones. As vengeance, I decided to strip that marksgob and human naked and feed them to the carp by strapping them down next to the river and pond riddled with carp.
(Until I can somehow feed carp with gobs and human (my preferred method of execution), I'm stuck with making an execution tower and catapult. Drawbridge style.)
Oh, and I almost forgot, her husband was estatic and never got sad after the loss. Either I had one hell of a dining room, or he really didn't like that woman.
UPDATE:
Just uploaded my map into the DF Map Archive.
Here's the POI of the incident: http://mkv25.net/dfma/poi-13984-tragictower (http://mkv25.net/dfma/poi-13984-tragictower)
To this day, it's still not cleaned up. Their souls are trapped in that tower.
Post by: Jackrabbit on April 11, 2009, 09:42:23 pm
Suicide Baby would make an awesome name for a band.
Only in dwarf fortress.....
Post by: mjo625 on April 11, 2009, 09:48:57 pm
http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=33755.0 (http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=33755.0)
inspired me. I decided to start my own challenge game, where I will more or less play the commune challenege, but like the story above I will sacrifice dwarves every year. I had decided to do so by drafting the sacrifices and stationing them in an above ground room full of upright spikes, and allowing the bodies to rot there. Fun stuff. So I gen my world, pick my location and starting gear and strike the earth, and what do I behold but the completely randomly generated Fortress name, "Lancedkin"
Post by: varkarrus on April 11, 2009, 10:29:17 pm
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 11, 2009, 10:57:00 pm
Back at the Wagon, he grabs the last pick and returns to his mining.
Post by: CloisteredSyrups on April 11, 2009, 11:06:28 pm
Post by: Mount on April 11, 2009, 11:22:55 pm
Sounds like he was in the mood for some Rhesus Pieces.
Urist McMount is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McMount has been struck down!
Post by: zchris13 on April 11, 2009, 11:26:01 pm
I second the motion.Sounds like he was in the mood for some Rhesus Pieces.Urist McMount is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McMount has been struck down!
Urist McZ is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McZ has been struck down!
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 11, 2009, 11:29:01 pm
Urist McBattlan sees the bodies of his friends!I second the motion.Sounds like he was in the mood for some Rhesus Pieces.Urist McMount is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McMount has been struck down!
Urist McZ is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McZ has been struck down!
Urist McBattlan has become depressed!
Post by: zchris13 on April 11, 2009, 11:40:07 pm
Did I just turn this into the glorious ways to rp dieing in DF thread?Urist McBattlan sees the bodies of his friends!I second the motion.Sounds like he was in the mood for some Rhesus Pieces.Urist McMount is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McMount has been struck down!
Urist McZ is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McZ has been struck down!
Urist McBattlan has become depressed!
Post by: Mount on April 11, 2009, 11:45:41 pm
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 12, 2009, 12:12:39 am
depends on if McBattlan throws a tantrum and kills an innocent passerby with an epic sock-toss...Might as well check his kills...
*game crashes*
Post by: SenorOcho on April 12, 2009, 01:55:36 am
Fun. :D
Post by: GreenMarine on April 12, 2009, 03:01:01 am
In the fortress I had a Ranger dwarf out hunting. I suddenly started getting spammed with messages that he was failing his job due to falling unconscious. I looked at his wounds sheet and he looked fine. Only a few hours later, after getting annoyed at the unconscious message spam, did I realize I had to scroll down on the wounds sheet. Turns out both of the Ranger's eyes were gouged out. He was completely blind and was continually falling over as he groped around the wilderness attempting to hunt.
Sigh.
I took him off all duties and he lived for quite some time, just wandering the halls of the fortress. Sometimes I would get messages that he failed to eat or drink due to collapsing, but no big deal.
Urist McBlind eventually died when a wooden execution tower I was building collapsed, crushing him as he randomly wandered beneath it.
(In this same game the Liason from the mountainhomes arrived !armless! and continually fell unconscious after he arrived making it no less than 3 years before he finally managed to conduct a meeting with my Mayor. After finally signing a trade agreement he promptly fell stone dead from no obvious cause on his way to the edge of the map.)
Post by: Wahad on April 12, 2009, 06:17:43 am
First mood: an earring! Joy!
Second mood: another earring. Well, I suppose they make a good set.
Third mood: ANOTHER mothercarping earring. >:(
Post by: Orange Drink on April 12, 2009, 06:45:13 am
in my current fort, a wave of migrants arrived. among them was Olon the thresher and Thikut, Olon's daughter. Olon owned a mule, and Thikut owned a cute kitten.
soon after arriving at the fort, Olon was struck with a fey mood. he ran to a craftsdwarf's workshop and gathered his supplies, until he demands some metal bars. I tell a rather lazy leatherworker to churn out some bars for him, but I had towait until the magma filled to full capacity for the smelters to operate. The leatherworker churned out a bar of aluminium, a bar of silver, a bar of iron and a bar of lead, but Olon still didn't accept them.
soon afterwards, Olon got angry and went beserk. the closest thing near him was his mule, and punched the poor thing in the face, killing it instantly. this got me scared that my two-dwarf milita weren't going to cut it.
next thing Olon goes for: Thikut's kitten. well, at least he finished that problem earlier than I expected.
then, Olon rushes into the farming rooms. he rushes past the five farmers in his way, and speartackles his daughter to the ground. he proceeds to mangle her until the milita arrived. he punches the first dwarf in the face, brain damaging her badly, and continued to attack his daughter.
the second milita dwarf arrived, and fared a bit better. he punched Olon's chest so hard, Olon got a fracture of his rib lodged in his heart, except that didn't bother him at all. he continued visciously bludgeoning his daughter until he bled to death.
Now i have an almost brain-dead soldier and an extremley depressed girl lying in bed with all of her limbs mangled, both kidneys with yellow wounds, and no left eye.
Post by: Nerserus on April 12, 2009, 09:35:27 am
Post by: IceShade on April 12, 2009, 12:19:15 pm
One of my dwarves decided to stop hauling a wounded marksdwarf to go get a drink... dropping Urist McUnconscious onto a stone-fall trap, triggering it and killing him.
Fun. :D
Just now, there was no one around. I decided to open my drawbridge. Right when the drawbridge raises, a champion walks by and splurge. Champion was crushed by the bridge.
It wasn't against a wall though, so I wonder how that happened. I was hoping it would have sent him flying, but it just crushed him instead.
Post by: zchris13 on April 12, 2009, 12:36:03 pm
Post by: IceShade on April 12, 2009, 01:19:08 pm
Post by: nirodragon on April 12, 2009, 03:10:12 pm
A siege comes, complete with a legendary marksgoblin.
The two marksdwarves run out and die quickly, while the war dog wanders just inside the entrance. As the goblins come near, the dog notices them and runs out.
A few minutes later, the war dog comes back inside and goes to sleep, uninjured. Every last goblin is dead, there's blood everywhere, and my other dwarves go on about their business of collecting all the stuff once I unforbid it.
An hour later, the dog is killed by a rhesus (which runs off, uninjured, with a left shoe that it got, apparently, from thin air).
Post by: Aspgren on April 12, 2009, 03:16:39 pm
Post by: Ieb on April 13, 2009, 02:41:38 am
A fire imp jumped out, and killed one of my kobolds with a single fireball. Few seconds later, a forest fire. In a flat area.
Surprisingly with some quick digging I was able to get everyone underground just as the waves of fire hit that part of the map.
A while later, after all was done, it was time to start building.
Not soon after, another kobold is dead. Burned to death. A Fire Man had crawled out of the open pit, and soon found the rest of the kobolds.
It was crispy.
Then there is the story of a kobold stonecrafter by the name Banger. One of the original seven, and the only male of the group. He got injured pretty early in that particular forts life, and laid in bed for over a year and half. At this point, I could throw in a joke about a guy named Banger, and all the female kobolds who had to feed and tend to him being his nurses, but I think I'm too lazy for it.
Post by: Eviltyphoon on April 13, 2009, 06:02:00 am
I started a new fort. Everything was fine and dandy.
First mood: an earring! Joy!
Second mood: another earring. Well, I suppose they make a good set.
Third mood: ANOTHER mothercarping earring. >:(
You could mod dwqarves so they have 3 ears xD
Post by: WJLIII3 on April 13, 2009, 06:39:42 pm
So, the battle raged, and I was just watching it go, not wanting to interfere with the natural course of things, until one heroic merchant swordsdwarf managed to take out one of the spider's eyes and damage a leg. I figured it was as good a time as any to bring the beast down, especially with all the trade good from the caravan littering its lair, so I sent my entire squad of 8 champion wrestlers (no real metal industry running yet), who surrounded the beast and fought it for days, to little effect. It got hurt a few more times, but nothing serious. In the meantime, it had killed 5 of my wrestlers. During the battle, my Mayor/Broker/Miner wandered up there looking for a corpse, adn the spider got him, too.
So, desperate to slow the tide of deaths and keep the fort from tantrum spiral, I hastily drafted my Manager/Bookkeeper/Miner, who had carved out basically the entire fortress alongside the Mayor (the two of them were best friends). He charged over the mountain in a perfectly straight line, jumped over one of the wresters who was paralyzed by venom, and chopped at the GCS, armed only with a copper pick.
The first blow, he mangled one of its legs, and the pick got stuck inside.
The second blow, he killed it. Unarmed.
So now he gets a giant golden tomb.
Post by: Axe27 on April 13, 2009, 07:15:47 pm
Well, I missed something. This wasn't a normal siege. This was a Bowman siege.
So, immediately after I sent them screaming toward them, I realized that Oh shit! Bowmen!, so I got all of my marksdwarves up there to fight with them. Meanwhile, I zipped back to my swordsdwarf. Of a squad of 6, 3 were dead corpses, 1 was being pin cushioned (He would survive to fight again), 1 had had his heart pierced with a bolt(He,actually,made it long enough to be dragged back to his bed before bleeding out), and another dwarf was lying on the ground.
His right upper leg was a yellow wound, causing him to fall over, but BOTH of his eyes were red. So, I look in his inventory and lo and behold, he has 2 iron bolts, stuck in his eyeballs.
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 13, 2009, 07:28:00 pm
I had a siege. No problem,really, so I sent out my new swordsdwarf squad, freshly trained and equipped with the new stuff I had made for them.DWARVEN BOLT EYE POWERS ACTIV- Auuugh! Backfire!!!
Well, I missed something. This wasn't a normal siege. This was a Bowman siege.
So, immediately after I sent them screaming toward them, I realized that Oh shit! Bowmen!, so I got all of my marksdwarves up there to fight with them. Meanwhile, I zipped back to my swordsdwarf. Of a squad of 6, 3 were dead corpses, 1 was being pin cushioned (He would survive to fight again), 1 had had his heart pierced with a bolt(He,actually,made it long enough to be dragged back to his bed before bleeding out), and another dwarf was lying on the ground.
His right upper leg was a yellow wound, causing him to fall over, but BOTH of his eyes were red. So, I look in his inventory and lo and behold, he has 2 iron bolts, stuck in his eyeballs.
Post by: Agent Fransis on April 13, 2009, 08:02:17 pm
I made a champion swordsdwarf, nicknamed 'Sharpe', he took on a squad of hammer goblins, crossbow goblins, and lashers. ON HIS OWN, he was surrounded at all sides but he slaughtered them without a scratch, then, a iron bolt flew across the screen and nailed him in the chest, Left Lung, Right Lung and Heart, all mangled...Yet he still ran towards him and clove him asunder, he then got hit by another bolt from another crossbow goblin in the arm and dropped his shield, still went strong, broke his spine like a twig, then he went after another...And bled to death. I am still working on his great monument, a great example of dwarf power!Holy smokes, your dwarf was Boromir!
Post by: Remalle on April 13, 2009, 08:16:26 pm
Post by: Axe27 on April 13, 2009, 08:31:23 pm
That's awesome. I've never seen any eye wounds other than dark grey, do eye injuries heal?
Never. The poor guy is a blind craftsdwarf.
He's getting used to tragedy.
Post by: Remalle on April 13, 2009, 11:15:34 pm
...a blind craftsdwarf.EVEN MORE AWESOME
Post by: Jackrabbit on April 13, 2009, 11:31:19 pm
That's awesome. I've never seen any eye wounds other than dark grey, do eye injuries heal?
Never. The poor guy is a blind craftsdwarf.
He's getting used to tragedy.
I should hope so
Post by: PotatoMuncher on April 14, 2009, 12:24:08 am
Post by: IceShade on April 14, 2009, 04:08:43 am
Probably my most valuable guy in the fortress. The following year, the mayor, that had been re-elected for over 10 years, was finally thrown out. Probably because of that little accident.
Post by: Axe27 on April 14, 2009, 02:26:03 pm
Probably my most valuable guy in the fortress. The following year, the mayor, that had been re-elected for over 10 years, was finally thrown out. Probably because of that little accident.
Actually, I think Mayor-Mechanics work differently, because I've had my military decimated time and again, and my mayor continues to get reelected.
Post by: tp12 on April 14, 2009, 02:41:00 pm
Post by: Mount on April 14, 2009, 02:47:01 pm
I once had a siege, that ended with the first ballista arrow i fired, it took out their leaders eye, leaving him unharmed apart from losing his left eye. He freaked and ran, everyone in the siege followed him.
I'm picturing a goblin running around with a HUGE LOG SIZED ARROW sticking out of his eye, completely unsupported... it's hilarious!
Post by: Aspgren on April 14, 2009, 05:23:39 pm
I once had a siege, that ended with the first ballista arrow i fired, it took out their leaders eye, leaving him unharmed apart from losing his left eye. He freaked and ran, everyone in the siege followed him.
You were sieged by only one squad?
Post by: Puzzlemaker on April 14, 2009, 05:51:55 pm
Post by: Nerserus on April 14, 2009, 07:29:26 pm
Post by: Shurikane on April 14, 2009, 07:33:22 pm
Then out of nowhere, one of the dorfs decides to run away from the battle. He has no wounds at all! So he runs, runs, runs, all around my fortress, to the opposite wall, back south towards the entrance, into the main corridor, and back to safety.
Meanwhile, the rest of the improvised squad gets completely slaughtered.
My fleeing dwarf was the only survivor of the onslaught. He didn't need a drink or any sort of food. I have no clue what pushed him to hightail it and do a lap around my fort.
I made a burial chamber just for him.
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 14, 2009, 07:44:22 pm
My little brother starts playing 'Never Gonna Give You Up' and things get REALLY bad.
I finished digging a moat, but even though the water is flowing (siphoned from a river) they dont drink from it.
Instead, they ALL go far downstream right into a large group of carp.
All of them lose both arms exept for the Trader who died, right as Rick Astley goes 'NEVA GONNA GIVE YOU UP. NEVA GONNA LET YOU DOWN'.
The miners bled to death, carpenter still lives, farmer and ranger are in bed.
Post by: Simmura McCrea on April 14, 2009, 07:51:25 pm
Post by: Tallefred on April 15, 2009, 06:15:24 pm
Post by: Aspgren on April 15, 2009, 07:38:05 pm
While working on the external decorations of Liontower, I had a goblin siege spring up while about a dozen of my dwarves were outside. Figuring they were done for, I drafted them all, bunched them up together and waited for the raiding party. Sure enough, the dwarves run and do battle, poor little recruits that they are
Then out of nowhere, one of the dorfs decides to run away from the battle. He has no wounds at all! So he runs, runs, runs, all around my fortress, to the opposite wall, back south towards the entrance, into the main corridor, and back to safety.
Meanwhile, the rest of the improvised squad gets completely slaughtered.
My fleeing dwarf was the only survivor of the onslaught. He didn't need a drink or any sort of food. I have no clue what pushed him to hightail it and do a lap around my fort.
I made a burial chamber just for him.
He might have been tired. In one of my recent sieges I sent out 2 champions and 1 swordsdwarf to fend off a goblin squad. Easy enough, right? Well turns out I missed a squad that came from the mountains. 1 champion is off doing whatever and the other 2 have to fight on their own, they obliterate the squad but they're a bit tired.
The champion who was doing whatever arrives, sees that there's no need to help out and takes a nap. The second goblin squad attacks him and cuts him to ribbons. So what happens? The swordsdwarf attacks the squad head on and kills 2 gobbos ... the surviving champion is weary and runs away, leaving her ally to die at the hands of goblins.
She didn't go to bed afterwards, not for some time .. so maybe your dorf was just weary from something. Like cutting trees, operating pumps, mining .. and wanted to go "on break" just that since he's a soldier his status doesn't say "on break" it merely says "soldier" and that was that.
I don't see why you're rewarding him though. I punished my champion by stripping her off her weapons, armor and shield and forcing her to duel a captured goblin hammerlord for her place in the fortress. She snapped his elbow and then snapped his neck.
She has been honorably re-assigned to my army! ;D
Post by: geoduck on April 15, 2009, 09:28:58 pm
In the fortress I had a Ranger dwarf out hunting. I suddenly started getting spammed with messages that he was failing his job due to falling unconscious. I looked at his wounds sheet and he looked fine. Only a few hours later, after getting annoyed at the unconscious message spam, did I realize I had to scroll down on the wounds sheet. Turns out both of the Ranger's eyes were gouged out. He was completely blind and was continually falling over as he groped around the wilderness attempting to hunt.
The same thing just happened with my current fort; the Hunter took damage from some critter in the spine and an eye. I found GM's post while searching the Forum archives for why she kept falling unconscious. (Thanx GM!) She made it back to the fort, has been officially relisted as Invalid, and is at least Happy.
Post by: The Mad Engineer on April 15, 2009, 10:09:09 pm
Post by: Jackrabbit on April 15, 2009, 10:16:23 pm
In the DF universe, eyes are like a buffer. If you still have them, you're not dead yet.
Dead dwarfs the world over disagree
Post by: The Mad Engineer on April 15, 2009, 10:20:44 pm
As an adventurer in the DF universe, eyes are like a buffer. If you still have them, you're not dead yet.
Fixed?
Post by: sonerohi on April 15, 2009, 11:03:21 pm
Post by: Shoruke on April 15, 2009, 11:43:56 pm
his one and only relationship is his pet donkey, which still hangs around the hospital all the time pining for its master, who paralyzed himself while trying to kill it.
DF style irony is the very best kind.
My 1/1000000 moment... traders come, I buy stuff, and when they leave they pass by the volcano. BTW this is a desert map, and completely flat. Fire imps jump out and start harassing the wagons, one of the guards (a sordsdorf) kills two of the fire imps after they've lit two of the wagons on fire, then he JUMPS INTO THE VOLCANO, slaughters another fire imp while swimming through magma, and pushes another fire imp off a cliff (still inside the volcano, you understand), it falls one z-level, lands on its head I guess, and dies.
Inside the fort, my trade depot is underground, a couple layers down, and right next to the volcano. When looking at the trade depot, there was a fire imp corpse just on the other side of the obsidian wall.
Post by: Tallefred on April 16, 2009, 08:27:33 am
I love dwarves justice. It seems to be designed for creating as much chaos as possible.
EDIT: It appears he murdered someone during the tantrum. That explains it. Ah well, never mind.
Post by: kurisukun on April 16, 2009, 09:43:23 am
So I decided I would build a merchant destruction room with my trade depot. It wasn't really anywhere near water, so drowning was out, and magma was too destructive. Then I realized, I could simply build a bunch of cage traps with goblins, let them slaughter the merchants, and then open the front door, leading them directly into my cage traps to re-use them. Great training for my goblin arena, and an effective method of taking care of Merchants.
Or so I thought.
The elves show up, and I lock the doors. They're stuck in there, all alone, with a bunch of sneering cages that are bristling with mechanisms. And weapons littered about as well. A click is heard, as a dwarf pulls a lever eleswhere in the fortress. I sit back to watch the carnage.
The elves didn't survive very long. However, the Elves animals, specifically, 2 mules and a camel, where less than happy about their predicament. They then proceeded to kick and bite and destroy every goblin I'd released in there. 24 fully armed goblins vs. 3 animals. And the animals won, with a full contingent of names.
It was... beautiful... and horrible... all atthe same time.
Post by: sonerohi on April 16, 2009, 10:21:46 am
Post by: tp12 on April 16, 2009, 10:30:08 am
Me too :P.I once had a siege, that ended with the first ballista arrow i fired, it took out their leaders eye, leaving him unharmed apart from losing his left eye. He freaked and ran, everyone in the siege followed him.
I'm picturing a goblin running around with a HUGE LOG SIZED ARROW sticking out of his eye, completely unsupported... it's hilarious!
also, he came back a few years later.... again catching a ballista arrow... this time losing his other eye, and his head, and most of his upper body... the arrow flew onward exploding most of his squad. and, less fortunate, one of my champions.
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 16, 2009, 10:36:31 am
Post by: Creamcorn on April 16, 2009, 11:12:26 am
I didn't really particularly care for the Elves that where trading with my fortress. And I was starting to get tired of it anyway. They never brought me any animals, and my fortress consisted of SO MANY cage traps, that I was hoping for something more exotic than my 50 wolves/beavers/ etc.
So I decided I would build a merchant destruction room with my trade depot. It wasn't really anywhere near water, so drowning was out, and magma was too destructive. Then I realized, I could simply build a bunch of cage traps with goblins, let them slaughter the merchants, and then open the front door, leading them directly into my cage traps to re-use them. Great training for my goblin arena, and an effective method of taking care of Merchants.
Or so I thought.
The elves show up, and I lock the doors. They're stuck in there, all alone, with a bunch of sneering cages that are bristling with mechanisms. And weapons littered about as well. A click is heard, as a dwarf pulls a lever eleswhere in the fortress. I sit back to watch the carnage.
The elves didn't survive very long. However, the Elves animals, specifically, 2 mules and a camel, where less than happy about their predicament. They then proceeded to kick and bite and destroy every goblin I'd released in there. 24 fully armed goblins vs. 3 animals. And the animals won, with a full contingent of names.
It was... beautiful... and horrible... all atthe same time.
Mules and camels are fairly large, that or goblins are complete pusswahs.
Post by: Hoborobo234 on April 16, 2009, 11:15:51 am
Blood for the blood god!
Post by: ProfessorA on April 16, 2009, 03:54:22 pm
One-in-a-million-moment:
the murder weapon was a short sword I traded for at a local town. Engraved in jewels was an engraving of the same Giant Eagle earning its name. Wouldn't even notice if I didn't have the habit of admiring multiple pages of multi-species blood on equipment.
Post by: tp12 on April 16, 2009, 04:06:17 pm
In adventure mode I killed a named Giant Eagle.yeah... most weapons tend to become blood crust clubs after a few days use.
One-in-a-million-moment:
the murder weapon was a short sword I traded for at a local town. Engraved in jewels was an engraving of the same Giant Eagle earning its name. Wouldn't even notice if I didn't have the habit of admiring multiple pages of multi-species blood on equipment.
Post by: Eagle on April 16, 2009, 05:18:25 pm
Same fort. Urist McFurnaceOperator cancels smelt Aluminum: Interupted by fire imp. Panics, punches the imp, sending it flying several tiles backwards, THROUGH the workshop, into the magma hole under it, and into the pipe.
Post by: IceShade on April 16, 2009, 05:23:54 pm
Post by: kurisukun on April 16, 2009, 05:34:29 pm
Did Urist McFurnaceOperator die in the heat? I'd imagine punching a fire imp would not be beneficial to your health
Fireimps aren't that bad. Most peasants can wrestle one to death with few-no ill effects. their danger is their ability to set things on fire with their breath/balls.
Post by: Eagle on April 16, 2009, 05:39:41 pm
Post by: chaturga on April 16, 2009, 10:33:11 pm
I imagined it being so causal, probally why i found it so funny
Post by: zooeyglass on April 17, 2009, 10:55:13 am
Had some dwarves building walkways over a chasm once. One of the dwarves decided to give birth over the edge of the floor, watch its child fall to its death, then get back to work.
I imagined it being so causal, probally why i found it so funny
they didn't get stuck on "urist mcmother is trying to locate urist mcbaby" or anything? cos i can imagine lots of depression as mcmother seeks mcbaby indefinitely...
Post by: Mount on April 17, 2009, 11:00:22 am
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 17, 2009, 11:32:19 am
Fireimps aren't that bad. Their danger is their ability to set things on fire with their balls.
Looks like I found something Sig worthy here.
Post by: IceShade on April 17, 2009, 11:44:23 am
Had some dwarves building walkways over a chasm once. One of the dwarves decided to give birth over the edge of the floor, watch its child fall to its death, then get back to work.
I imagined it being so causal, probally why i found it so funny
That reminds me of this commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu8456pVSLI&feature=related
;D
It wasn't actually banned here, though.
Post by: Teferi on April 18, 2009, 02:58:21 am
it was so funny
Post by: MrWiggles on April 18, 2009, 03:02:20 am
The Ursist McNewb started a good ten minuets before the two other miners got there, and he started his thing going down the first shaft.
Then the first legendary miner I have gets there, and started digging out the side tunnel then take the next shaft along the y axis. He digs over 15 tiles, then over takes the other miner, swings back along another tunnel of another 15 tiles and complete his shaft for him.
It was like the legendary miner was being an utter git and showing off. Nearly mining circles around the poor McNewb.
Post by: Gothmog on April 19, 2009, 07:36:32 am
Had some dwarves building walkways over a chasm once. One of the dwarves decided to give birth over the edge of the floor, watch its child fall to its death, then get back to work.
I imagined it being so causal, probally why i found it so funny
Mine is quite realted:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
So I was getting rid of cittens. All dwarves are busy "relocating" them into the magma channel near my forges, as suddenly one of the haulers decides that right now it's a good time to give birth. Result can be seen above ;D
Post by: Phazer on April 19, 2009, 07:42:26 am
Post by: Neruz on April 19, 2009, 07:47:58 am
So i set up, carefully do not create buttloads of flux stone crafts and start making iron and steel weapons; they're kinda high cost, but i'm not making anything else tradable so it should be good. Little did i know that my master cook starts cooking booze, by the end of autumn i tap Z and discover my fortresses worth is over 650,000.
Fffffuuuu-
Post by: sonerohi on April 19, 2009, 02:25:23 pm
Post by: rikrak on April 19, 2009, 02:38:13 pm
The two remaining dwarves slowly dug out a living space, but the small amounts of food and drink on the wagon ran out and before long there was just one, terribly traumatised, starving dwarf remaining.
He seemed to be surviving on frozen grass and ice and went on living for months - crawling from his bed to the river and back each day. I should have put him out of his misery, but the sadist in me kept watching.
Eventuallly a dwarven caravan turned up - which offered little hope as there was no depot and nothing to trade - so I was surprised to see the starving dwarf literally sprint across the map, faster than i have ever seen a dwarf run before.
He ran all the way to the edge of the map where the caravan was waiting and stole a hunk of cheese then ran away, zig-zagging, with the merchant in hot pursuit. He dropped dead before he could get a bite in. Not sure if he was bludgeoned to death for stealing, or whether it was exhaustion - but I'll never forget the sight of him careering across the map to get to the delicious cheese.
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 19, 2009, 03:00:58 pm
I decided to try an embark in a hostile environment for the first time... and arrived surrounded by ice and Zombie Alligators - who managed to snaffle up 5 of my dwarves before being killed."!!! My food-senses are tingling! Oh wait, that's my stomach. Well I should just OH MY GODS A CARAVAN JUST APPEARED AND IT HAS CHEESE!"
The two remaining dwarves slowly dug out a living space, but the small amounts of food and drink on the wagon ran out and before long there was just one, terribly traumatised, starving dwarf remaining.
He seemed to be surviving on frozen grass and ice and went on living for months - crawling from his bed to the river and back each day. I should have put him out of his misery, but the sadist in me kept watching.
Eventuallly a dwarven caravan turned up - which offered little hope as there was no depot and nothing to trade - so I was surprised to see the starving dwarf literally sprint across the map, faster than i have ever seen a dwarf run before.
He ran all the way to the edge of the map where the caravan was waiting and stole a hunk of cheese then ran away, zig-zagging, with the merchant in hot pursuit. He dropped dead before he could get a bite in. Not sure if he was bludgeoned to death for stealing, or whether it was exhaustion - but I'll never forget the sight of him careering across the map to get to the delicious cheese.
Post by: Kidiri on April 19, 2009, 03:07:08 pm
He ran all the way to the edge of the map where the caravan was waiting and stole a hunk of cheese then ran away, zig-zagging, with the merchant in hot pursuit.
Run, Urist, Run!
Post by: IceShade on April 19, 2009, 04:41:14 pm
I have never seen a dog RIP APART a kobold that bad.. And he's still alive!
Only his right leg remains attached... and his head, of course.
His buddy got away, though.
Looks like my guard doggies are doing their job quite well.
Edit: The kobold died not a second later. The dog has been given a title.. Furmanors. Interesting.
Post by: Neruz on April 19, 2009, 07:18:32 pm
Orcs siege you regardless. They're bloodthirsty cold hearted bastards with a penchant of turning a dwarf into a dwarf left upper leg, dwarf right lower leg, dwarf head, etc.
If you don't get enough fortress wealth then you won't get sieged until some time in the second year.
I keep copping sieges in the first winter due to expanding my wealth to ludicrous levels.
Fortunately, a large chunk of my rediculous fortress wealth was a butt-ton of steel weaponries and a long and windy road around a fortified archer tower, about ~40 Orcs turned up, only three made it to the room my marksdorfs were in (and they got lots of fun experience.)
Yays!
Also note to self; always give starting 7 dwarves 2 points in Marksdwarf when using Orc mod.
Post by: Mount on April 20, 2009, 04:54:01 pm
...then they left it lying there, unconscious. Until spring came, and the pond it was lying on melted... Now there's an unconscious, lightly mangled deer lying ALIVE at the bottom of a 7/7 Murky Pool. I assume at some point it will wake up and drown, or winter will come and crush it in the ice, but this may be the first amphibious deer I've ever seen!
Post by: wigwam on April 20, 2009, 05:55:00 pm
They had decided to "forego the celebrations," understandably.
Somehow, I don't that that's supposed to happen.
Post by: Earth Striker Lurin on April 20, 2009, 08:46:42 pm
Post by: rickvoid on April 20, 2009, 11:24:59 pm
I had two male dwarves marry @_@
Talk to Heavy Flak, he had the same thing happen in Migrursut. (Yeah, I just butchered that.)
FACT: Changing genders with Dwarf Companion does NOTHING!
Post by: SirPenguin on April 21, 2009, 09:01:23 am
I had a fortress built close to a chasm back when I was new to DF. Thus I didn't fully understand the "implications" such a feature entailed.
I make it to Autumn with literally no hiccups and apparently had built up enough wealth to attract quite a few migrants. Probably close to 14 I think. With them came the usual assortment of peasants, children, and soap makers. This one in particular came with a Fishery Worker who promptly went fishing. She was a female, and yes, this detail is important.
I recruited the peasants (there were two of them) into the military (as usual) and continuing building up my fort.
I'm not sure how much timed passed between then and when my Fisherdwarf was attacked...but it must have been a decent amount, as one of my military dwarves was an Elite Wrestler. His name was Urvad.
Regardless, all of a sudden I see a bunch of "McFisher cancels fish: HOLY SHIT ANTMEN ARE FUCKING CHASING ME!" announcements.
Unfortunately McFisher decided she was too cool to run back to the fortress that was lined with stonefall traps. Instead she ran in circles around the very brook she was fishing out of. So, knowing what to do, I sent in my two man militia to hopefully kill the 3 or so antmen that were chasing her.
One of them made it to her a lot faster than the other (the elite Wrestler, Urvad), and took on the 3 antmen himself. In a fit of rage (I assume!) he tore through 2 of the antmen like they were better. I had high hopes for the guy.
That is, until I saw the Giant Caveswallowman.
The remaining 3rd antman actually continued to chase the McFisher while Urvad had to deal with this bizarre half-man/half-cave swallow abomination. The fight was horrific. Urvad mangled the creature's upperbody, but that's about all he could do. The creature ripped him apart limb from limb...literally. Both of his arms were torn off, leaving this mighty wrestler all but useless. His arms fell at his sides and stained the brook with blood. Urvad fell unconscious.
At that exact moment the second wrestler finally "caught up" and was lucky enough to finish off the cave swallowman by himself. Urvad lived...McFisher did not. She ended up running away from the antman straight into...yes...another group of antmen. She actually ran TO the chasm...I have no idea why. But she died, which made Urvad's efforts entirely fruitless.
After what seemed like an eternity someone finally hauled Urvad to a bed in the barracks where he laid unconscious, his body a bloody mess...and without any arms attached to it.
There Urvad stayed in a coma. He became thirsty, and then finally dehydrated, but he never woke up, and thus no one could give him the water he seeked. I agonized over this, desperately pouring over the Wiki and forums looking for a way to save my warrior.
I found none. Urvad eventually died of thirst.
I had expected this and fashioned an Iron Coffin...too late was I able to process the metal that would have made the armor that could have saved his life. I wondered if it was ironic or perhaps even insulting to bury him in a metal casket for this reason...but the choice was made.
I keep my fortress on a tight schedule to prevent idlers, so the only people available for hauling where the children who I could not force into labor. So it was the two kids who came with the migrants that hauled Urvad's body into his coffin. Then they went outside.
Initially I was very confused and then very horrified given the current situation outside. I had stationed the surviving soldier outside by the door to try and bait some of the antmen into my traps. I entered one of the child's relationship window to see if perhaps one of his parents was the soldier I had stationed outside, as I knew children usually followed their parents around. It was then I found out the horrible truth...the one-in-a-million moment I just witnessed.
These two children were siblings. Their father? None other than Urvad himself.
That was horrifying enough. But the only thing to make it worse...their mother? The Fisherdwarf.
I then replayed the moments of the day back in my mind with this new information. Urvad wasn't just trying to rescue a Fisherdwarf. He was trying to rescue his wife. He failed saving her and ended up losing both of his arms and later, his life, in the effort.
The final icing on the cake, aside from these two orphans burying their father while their mother's corpse lay rotting by the chasm...was when I figured out why they were outside. Remember Urvad's arms being ripped violently off of his body? Well, as I said, they landed by the river. They were now bones...bones that the kids then hauled back to the coffin.
Yes...they were out by the river to fetch the two mighty arm bones their father had lost in the fight trying to rescue their mother.
I actually abandoned that fortress soon after. It was just too much to handle.
Since then, though, whenever I have to name an RPG character, I always pick Urvad as the name.
Post by: silentnight on April 21, 2009, 11:15:38 am
Post by: salttotart on April 21, 2009, 02:59:42 pm
Post by: Itnetlolor on April 21, 2009, 05:21:26 pm
All my guard towers are cursed from now on since then.
Post by: kalida99 on April 21, 2009, 05:34:40 pm
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
Post by: zchris13 on April 21, 2009, 05:45:10 pm
One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.I think you set a new record.
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
Post by: IceShade on April 21, 2009, 05:45:51 pm
One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
A noble that did something useful?!
One in a billion moment, more like.
Post by: salttotart on April 21, 2009, 08:15:04 pm
Has everyone forgotten that the Mayor is technically a noble?One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
A noble that did something useful?!
One in a billion moment, more like.
Post by: kalida99 on April 21, 2009, 08:20:33 pm
Has everyone forgotten that the Mayor is technically a noble?One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
A noble that did something useful?!
One in a billion moment, more like.
It was the baroness consort.
Post by: zchris13 on April 21, 2009, 08:22:22 pm
I have a triple legendary mayor.It was the baroness consort.Has everyone forgotten that the Mayor is technically a noble?One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.A noble that did something useful?!
- Killed a goblin.
- Died from the goblins buddies.
One in a billion moment, more like.
Post by: kalida99 on April 21, 2009, 08:25:32 pm
Post by: Mephansteras on April 21, 2009, 08:43:43 pm
Post by: Heron TSG on April 21, 2009, 09:03:05 pm
Plus after a few years the mayor becoems a SUPERDWARF and becomes practically invicible given the right gear.
Ironblood was the only Noble that I've never wished would curl up and die.
Post by: kalida99 on April 21, 2009, 09:06:50 pm
Plus after a few years the mayor becoems a SUPERDWARF and becomes practically invicible given the right gear.
Ironblood was the only Noble that I've never wished would curl up and die.
he wass the AWESOMEST dwarf ive every seen since the blind dwarf that killed 3 goblins in 2 seconds.
Post by: MrWiggles on April 21, 2009, 09:31:28 pm
Oh Sure! Piss on our fun! 8>Has everyone forgotten that the Mayor is technically a noble?One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
A noble that did something useful?!
One in a billion moment, more like.
Post by: zestorum on April 22, 2009, 01:14:46 am
One of my champion hammerdwarf ran into a gobbo archer pack alone, without even being backed up by anyone. I thought he was going to die, but it just so happens that he dodged all the archers iron arrows and made it to close combat. Then he started smacking them around with his steel warhammer, killing 3 before reinforcments arrived.
Edited: Small typo.
Post by: Rockphed on April 22, 2009, 01:19:00 am
One of my nobles did 2 useful things during thier 7 month life in my fort.I think you set a new record.
1. Killed a goblin.
2. Died from the goblins buddies.
My hammerer killed 3 goblins and an orc before dying to an orc seige that got past my traps. It was his singular dedication to the cause that kept casualties below 10.
I have also, on many occasions, seen nobles cage beasts and fill ponds. When I set my depot to let anybody trade, then the hammerer and tax collector jockeyed for the honor.
Post by: Skorpion on April 23, 2009, 06:10:04 pm
Fire imp tallow soap.
The king's advisor pitted a goblin, but it shot and killed him as he threw it in the magma.
And I just lured my first diplomat into the noble roaster, pulled the lever, and tossed him into the magma. I feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Post by: Remalle on April 23, 2009, 07:57:05 pm
My fortress was at well over 100, with only three deaths from sparring, no criminals, and (almost) tolerable nobles (No export of tin? Never even seen any, sorry.) Despite being in an evil region all snug to a goblin fortress, the only real danger seen so far was three different bands of dark gnomes.
In my fourth year, a dragon attacked. I immediately ordered everyone inside, and once they were in closed the front drawbridge and readied the ballistae. The lever was pulled, and it was good.
The bridge never closes. Nobody ever shows up to man the ballistae. The funny part? The dragon strolls right by my undefended main entrance, strolls up to a side door that's used to access a mined-out magnetite vein, mauls someone's pet mule, and loiters around the locked door. I order my military squads next to the door, preparing for a dwarf rush, when I notice the lone marksdwarf who decided to stand on the side of the wall WITH the dragon on it. With NO AMMO. Seven of my eight champions walk off at this point, giving various excuses about getting a bite to eat or a quick nap. My last champion, an elite wrestler, proceeds to attack the dragon (who's almost finished ripping that marksdwarf limb from limb) from behind with his bare hands. He kills the dragon with his bare hands, unassisted, without taking a single scratch.
In about a minute various Dragon Tallow Soaps are being hauled from the scene. Seconds later, a weaponsmith becomes secretive, and quickly begins a mysterious construction.
Less than five seconds after this, my miners strike adamantine, in a site I wasn't even aware had it.
On their own, none of these events are particularly notable, but they all happened in less than two minutes. Seriously. Talk about unlikely.
Post by: Byakugan01 on April 23, 2009, 08:39:57 pm
One of my dwarves went to go and retrieve a steel battle axe to fell wood. Unfortunately, the cause of death of the first dwarf? GCS. Before he can get to the axe, and while I try and fail to stop him getting too, my old friend appears, webs him and closes in for the kill. Well, UReist McMason wasn't having it. In a 10 frame or so battle, he is paralyzed by the spider, but not before ripping off two body parts with his bare hands...and one of those had to have been the Abdomen of the Giant cave spider, or its cepahlo throrax. Why? Because his only alternative was to kill the spider while paralyzed. all this with NO skill points in wrestling, armor or a weapon. How's that for one in a million?
Urist McMason:Proficient Mason. Legendary Badass.
Post by: Eagle on April 23, 2009, 09:12:35 pm
Post by: zchris13 on April 24, 2009, 06:28:39 pm
Urist McMason:Proficient Mason. Legendary Badass.
YES PLEASE. Sig worthy, in my opinion.
Post by: Michaelsoftman on April 24, 2009, 06:51:14 pm
He pulls it and walks away... and in runs my legendary craftsdwarf, holding a chunk I had set to dump... He makes a run for it, and he leaps onto the stockpile JUST IN TIME to deposit the chunk! *whump*
Urist McCraftsdwarf has been crushed by a bridge.
Good thing that asshole wasn't friends with anybody.
Post by: Sorcerer on April 25, 2009, 08:19:29 pm
he got completely incinerated as the lava splattered all over him :(
This really enforces the first rule of dwarven fortress, the most unlikely thing to happen WILL happen, and the result will usually kill off someone important :P
Post by: FunkyWaltDogg on April 25, 2009, 08:36:12 pm
I was channeling away some floor tiles overhanging my cliffside fort when i had a tiny cavein.. a single tile fell down tqo levels, punched through the roof of my tomb area, into a freshly dug out area, then continued down through a single wide corridor E/W, down through my entrance hall and into my single wide N/S magma channel, displacing a 7/7 block of magma, which promptly left through the hole the rock just punched. JUST as my legendary engraver ran by.
he got completely incinerated as the lava splattered all over him :(
This really enforces the first rule of dwarven fortress, the most unlikely thing to happen WILL happen, and the result will usually kill off someone important :P
Wow, I think this one takes the cake.
Post by: zchris13 on April 25, 2009, 08:56:42 pm
I lostI was channeling away some floor tiles overhanging my cliffside fort when i had a tiny cavein.. a single tile fell down tqo levels, punched through the roof of my tomb area, into a freshly dug out area, then continued down through a single wide corridor E/W, down through my entrance hall and into my single wide N/S magma channel, displacing a 7/7 block of magma, which promptly left through the hole the rock just punched. JUST as my legendary engraver ran by.Wow, I think this one takes the cake.
he got completely incinerated as the lava splattered all over him :(
This really enforces the first rule of dwarven fortress, the most unlikely thing to happen WILL happen, and the result will usually kill off someone important :P
Post by: IceShade on April 26, 2009, 08:58:43 am
I lostI was channeling away some floor tiles overhanging my cliffside fort when i had a tiny cavein.. a single tile fell down tqo levels, punched through the roof of my tomb area, into a freshly dug out area, then continued down through a single wide corridor E/W, down through my entrance hall and into my single wide N/S magma channel, displacing a 7/7 block of magma, which promptly left through the hole the rock just punched. JUST as my legendary engraver ran by.Wow, I think this one takes the cake.
he got completely incinerated as the lava splattered all over him :(
This really enforces the first rule of dwarven fortress, the most unlikely thing to happen WILL happen, and the result will usually kill off someone important :PTWOthree! great, not legendary dwarves in an accident like that.
I think I posted something like this as well. Tiny cave in, smacked through 7 floors or so. It nailed my legendary metalsmith on the head, created a new hole for him and had him drop another 4 floors.
Splat.
Post by: ThtblovesDF on April 26, 2009, 09:50:00 am
Just now, I was using the Atom Smasher to clear out a bunch of rocks I didn't want. I make sure no one is dumping anything, then make a Dwarf pull the lever to raise the bridge and smash everything.
I am using a different rock-remover methode right now. There are 12 catapults firing stones out of the mountain side 24/7 (evry single dwarf is a operator) against a 3z level high wall and then they fall down in some redirected lava. Its a true constant rain of stones since after 3 years most are legendary users.
Post by: IceShade on April 26, 2009, 10:05:44 am
Just now, I was using the Atom Smasher to clear out a bunch of rocks I didn't want. I make sure no one is dumping anything, then make a Dwarf pull the lever to raise the bridge and smash everything.
I am using a different rock-remover methode right now. There are 12 catapults firing stones out of the mountain side 24/7 (evry single dwarf is a operator) against a 3z level high wall and then they fall down in some redirected lava. Its a true constant rain of stones since after 3 years most are legendary users.
I have a policy of "NO STONE LEFT BEHIND!". Every stone will be used. Every building must have a block floor if it can't be smoothed, and every building must have a roof. Lots of stone crafts to keep export up. Only highest quality statues, chairs and tables .. the rest will be crushed.
Post by: Leafsnail on April 26, 2009, 10:47:22 am
- His office was the furthest part into my fortress, and apart from going next door to pick up some food and then to his dining room (also right next to it) he basically never left it
- He was rather mild mannered
- His wife was left with a serious (red) head injury - but I don't know how
- I never recovered the body of him or the kobold - which would have had to get past 4 entrance dogs, and which didn't seem to have attacked anything else.
So, any ideas on how a kobold can be detected, enter a fortress, assasinate a dwarf deep inside and dispose of his body, knock out his wife and then vanish without a trace (and, apparently, without stealing anything)?
Post by: salttotart on April 26, 2009, 11:03:07 am
I once lost my legendary record keeper to a mysterious accident involving a Kobold thief. He became enraged, and was struck down seconds later. The weird parts are that:Ooo, assassination conspiracies! Toady, are you looking at this!?
- His office was the furthest part into my fortress, and apart from going next door to pick up some food and then to his dining room (also right next to it) he basically never left it
- He was rather mild mannered
- His wife was left with a serious (red) head injury - but I don't know how
- I never recovered the body of him or the kobold - which would have had to get past 4 entrance dogs, and which didn't seem to have attacked anything else.
So, any ideas on how a kobold can be detected, enter a fortress, assasinate a dwarf deep inside and dispose of his body, knock out his wife and then vanish without a trace (and, apparently, without stealing anything)?
Post by: Leafsnail on April 26, 2009, 11:54:17 am
Post by: ProfessorA on April 26, 2009, 12:53:40 pm
I once lost my legendary record keeper to a mysterious accident involving a Kobold thief. He became enraged, and was struck down seconds later. The weird parts are that:
- His office was the furthest part into my fortress, and apart from going next door to pick up some food and then to his dining room (also right next to it) he basically never left it
- He was rather mild mannered
- His wife was left with a serious (red) head injury - but I don't know how
- I never recovered the body of him or the kobold - which would have had to get past 4 entrance dogs, and which didn't seem to have attacked anything else.
So, any ideas on how a kobold can be detected, enter a fortress, assasinate a dwarf deep inside and dispose of his body, knock out his wife and then vanish without a trace (and, apparently, without stealing anything)?
Don't you see, the thief was a red herring. This is cold blooded murder.
The wife killed him out of jealousy: always spending time in the office, never making time for her... she sustained the head injury when he tried to defend himself. She brought in the thief to distract the sheriff and the rest of the fort while she made her move. (Let's just ignore the fact that she could've probably just killed him with less reason and no fear of retribution anyways)
Post by: Vigilant on April 26, 2009, 01:48:48 pm
I see a hobgoblin FLY by. This isn't just knocked a few feet, he goes across the entire screen, lands a distance off screen. I back track a bit, at least another screen and a half up (granted I had this in the 80/25 grid since i was in windowed form for a while), my dwarves are happily slaughtering the invaders. Apparently sending them flying football field length distances sometimes.
My reaction "AHHH! Flying Hobgoblins!"
Post by: Simmura McCrea on April 27, 2009, 10:27:00 am
Post by: redacted123 on April 27, 2009, 11:16:51 am
Post by: Village_Idiot on April 27, 2009, 11:49:42 am
My other theory was that the kobold injured his wife, then he went down to the carp filled river to get her some water. However, then it would have had the interrupted by carp message, and I couldn't find his body in the river.
It's a lot easier than that. The recordkeeper was simply a kobold in disguise, finally throwing of his cloak because in his daily routine the only thing he could steal was food. In a fit of rage he tried to kill the foul women he was forced to marry with. It all makes sense now!
On topic, I got this relatively well-faring fortress, just got my 200th dwarf, everything is going fine.
Then a Goblin siege comes by, I deploy my usual routine of ordering everyone inside and lowering the main gate to let the goblins crawl through my terribly long trap back-entrance filled with whips flails and obsidian sowrds. However noone comes to pull the lever. The goblin army advances steadily towards my gates, while everyone is to busy eating, sleeping, drinking, partying, and getting set on fire because the magma pipe was the fastest way to the booze...
In a desperate attempt to delay the inevetible I set out my entire poorly trained and poorly equiped military. To my suprise they marginally defeat the goblin hordes, with a total of 5 survivors, of which 2 bleed to death just seconds after the goblins left. The remaining 3 stumble back to the barracks, one of which had both arms cut, another had his right leg cut of, and a third was missing his left eye and kidney ??? Besides that they both had numerous yellow or red injuries.
At the exact moment they cross the main bridge, on which I stationed my mayor and some legendary dwarves to congratulate the now elite/hero's some idiot (I think it was the philosopher) is suddenly reminded of the fact that the lever behind the main bridge still needs pulling....
Even more unfortunate I had rerouted my underground river filled with bloodthirsty pike under the bridge. The entire river run red with blood :D (well atleast for about 20-30 squares)
This fort eventually died of a massive tantrum spiral because everyone lost friends due to either the massive slaughter by the goblins, or that by the pike's shortly thereafter.
Post by: Leafsnail on April 27, 2009, 12:15:02 pm
1. The books continued to update themselves after my clerk's death (spooky) and him and wife's joint room remained theirs after his death.
2. When I created a coffin, it was assigned to him but no body was brought there.
Post by: Rolan7 on April 27, 2009, 01:00:15 pm
By the way, regarding the story, I forgot to mention two other things:
1. The books continued to update themselves after my clerk's death (spooky) and him and wife's joint room remained theirs after his death.
2. When I created a coffin, it was assigned to him but no body was brought there.
Are you *sure* he's dead? Sounds like his identical(ly named) twin brother or body double may have met the kobold, outside perhaps, and chased it away for the glory of Armok. However, in his zeal to protect the hoard from thieving filth, he tripped and fell in a pond. Nothing unusual there.
As for your real clerk, he's updating your stockpile records in your main dining hall, because he's trying to avoid his wife who, um, is into injuries. Is she wearing leather armor? You should probably put her in the military, everyone wins (except the goblins).
Post by: Rockphed on April 27, 2009, 01:06:43 pm
Also, a married couple shares shared rooms so long as at least of them lives.
Post by: Marko on April 27, 2009, 02:51:42 pm
One boy, 11 sisters:
(http://www.roomiescomic.com/pics/onlyson.jpg)
Post by: Rockphed on April 27, 2009, 02:54:27 pm
Post by: Puzzlemaker on April 27, 2009, 02:56:58 pm
I was dismantling a platform I had built over the entrance to my fortress when I got bored and decided it would be easier to take apart the supports instead of doing it properly. The platform then proceeded to fall. It broke through the only bridge in and out of the fortress, then smashed through about 2 floors before hitting my main high pressure water pipe/corridor. That promptly burst and managed to flood my entire fortress in about 2 minutes and, due to the fact I smashed the bridge, not one dwarf survived.
The mental image I got for this is hilarious.
Post by: Marko on April 27, 2009, 02:58:45 pm
I don't think I have ener managed to get more than 5 children out of a marriage. I guess I am just horrible at keeping dwarfs alive.
get a noble couple (or two) and you'll have babies popping out like crazy
Post by: Rockphed on April 27, 2009, 03:00:53 pm
Post by: Village_Idiot on April 27, 2009, 03:32:53 pm
Oh, I do get noble couples, I just don't manage to get them to last 13 years. I normally give up on forts before that :(Why would they have to last 13 years? Children pop out every year and with an utility like dwarf manager they can be great pump/siege operators, haulers, or basiscly anything!
Post by: Mister Thou on April 27, 2009, 03:57:25 pm
One of my champion marksdwarves had 17 children before the my fortress had been around twenty years (not even one of the starting 7), and would have had more had I not disabled children in the init file. I had set my cap to 50 dwarves and ended up with about 120 total, plus about 10 children that had been abducted. I had more children than adults, even without counting the abductees. All this was from only four or five couples, except for some migrant children.
Incidentally, the marksdwarf's title was "The Crystalline Innocence of Loving" which I thought was pretty funny.
Post by: Saer on April 27, 2009, 04:00:49 pm
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
Post by: ProfessorA on April 27, 2009, 04:05:04 pm
I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.Rhe-sus-Ma-caque
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
Post by: TheDJ17 on April 27, 2009, 05:36:31 pm
I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.Rhe-sus-Ma-caque
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
To be fair that is A LOT of hyphens.
Post by: Mount on April 27, 2009, 05:42:14 pm
I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.Rhe-sus-Ma-caque
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...
Post by: Smew on April 27, 2009, 07:30:47 pm
I should really sig that, but I refuse on the grounds that... well, I have no grounds, but I just refuse.I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.Rhe-sus-Ma-caque
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...
Post by: Tradanbattlan on April 27, 2009, 08:48:20 pm
Smew cancels React To Pun: In a fey mood.I should really sig that, but I refuse on the grounds that... well, I have no grounds, but I just refuse.I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.Rhe-sus-Ma-caque
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...
Post by: Smew on April 29, 2009, 01:04:04 am
I present to you, this!Smew cancels React To Pun: In a fey mood.I should really sig that, but I refuse on the grounds that... well, I have no grounds, but I just refuse.I had Elven traders come at the same time as those monkey things, I forget what they are called.Rhe-sus-Ma-caque
But I thought the monkeys were their pets or something, so I let them through.
They then stole a bunch of crap from me, and I was like >=O afterward. Those dirty elves...
I think I am going to kill them next time I see these elves...
Unless a sword/axedwarf gets to 'em.. then it's rhesus pieces...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Nerserus on April 29, 2009, 04:56:12 am
Post by: Phazer on April 29, 2009, 08:40:31 am
Post by: Mister Thou on April 29, 2009, 10:48:55 am
Post by: Phazer on April 29, 2009, 10:51:49 am
Post by: FaultyLogic on April 29, 2009, 01:17:37 pm
She was standing on a clifftop, watching the last of the other dwarves run into the fort entrance below her. The dragon rushed towards her. She stood frozen at the same spot while my excitement turned into horror. The dragon ran up on the cliff and spewed a cone of firey death towards the dwarf, wich suddenly turned and lept of the opposite end of the cliff, just barely evading the dragonbreath. Quickly, she ran into the fort with the dragon close behind. Here ends the epicness, as a dwarven caravan guard runs out to meet the dragon and kills it single-handedly.
Post by: geoduck on April 29, 2009, 02:00:31 pm
I mobilized my entire army, dashed them out to the site, and they beat the dragon to death without taking a scratch.
Post by: zchris13 on April 29, 2009, 02:09:09 pm
I just had my first dragon attack. I say "attack", but when I found the dragon at the very edge of the world, and looKed at it, the description included the word "Unconscious". Huh? Sure enough, it had taken an eye injury and was down. There were no dwarfs nearby, so the only thing I can figure is that one of my catapult-operators must have gotten off a (ahem) million-to-one lucky shot while practicing. (The dragon wasn't even on the same Z-level as the 'pult, but was near the edge of the area where many of the practice rocks pile up..)Cough*Historical injury*cough*cough.
I mobilized my entire army, dashed them out to the site, and they beat the dragon to death without taking a scratch.
Post by: Nerserus on April 29, 2009, 02:23:34 pm
Attackers: 43 Lizardmen. 1 Demon ( Undefeatable ) No losses.
Defender(s): 1 Elf. Lost.
There was a "Duel" with the lizardman leader and the elf. The elf lost. Hard.
Then to mark his victory, the lizardman ate the elf.
They then captured his wife, then destroyed (appearently) the "town"
If that isn't rape i don't know what is. ;D
It's like 300, but instead of 300 spartans, it's just one elf. A recruit. "GIVE THEM THEIR DEA- oh wait i'm on my own...Crap..."
Post by: zchris13 on April 29, 2009, 02:27:18 pm
I read the legends while testing my Lizardman mod, i saw the most hilarious thing ever in my time playing: "The siege of rape", like that isn't funny enough, the combatants were as follows:
Attackers: 43 Lizardmen. 1 Demon ( Undefeatable ) No losses.
Defender(s): 1 Elf. Lost.
There was a "Duel" with the lizardman leader and the elf. The elf lost. Hard.
Then to mark his victory, the lizardman ate the elf.
They then captured his wife, then destroyed (appearently) the "town"
If that isn't rape i don't know what is. ;D
It's like 300, but instead of 300 spartans, it's just one elf. A recruit. "GIVE THEM THEIR DEA- oh wait i'm on my own...Crap..."
...
NEVER COMPARE THE ELVES TO THE SPARTANS. Horrible person.
Post by: Nerserus on April 29, 2009, 02:32:11 pm
The 300 spartans died horribly. As should all elves. What's the problem?I read the legends while testing my Lizardman mod, i saw the most hilarious thing ever in my time playing: "The siege of rape", like that isn't funny enough, the combatants were as follows:
Attackers: 43 Lizardmen. 1 Demon ( Undefeatable ) No losses.
Defender(s): 1 Elf. Lost.
There was a "Duel" with the lizardman leader and the elf. The elf lost. Hard.
Then to mark his victory, the lizardman ate the elf.
They then captured his wife, then destroyed (appearently) the "town"
If that isn't rape i don't know what is. ;D
It's like 300, but instead of 300 spartans, it's just one elf. A recruit. "GIVE THEM THEIR DEA- oh wait i'm on my own...Crap..."
...
NEVER COMPARE THE ELVES TO THE SPARTANS. Horrible person.
Post by: zchris13 on April 29, 2009, 02:35:26 pm
How is this NOT a problem?
Post by: Nerserus on April 29, 2009, 02:36:47 pm
The Spartans are awesome about it. Elves have wooden weapons.Only in how monu-mentally ( Hehehe ) screwed the elves were. The elves have nothing on sparta.
How is this NOT a problem?
Post by: zchris13 on April 29, 2009, 02:41:12 pm
Athens at least had a navy.
Post by: Nerserus on April 29, 2009, 02:58:41 pm
Post by: Mephansteras on April 29, 2009, 03:03:06 pm
Post by: Nerserus on April 29, 2009, 03:07:37 pm
Post by: sonerohi on April 29, 2009, 03:16:54 pm
Elves are better at Zerg rushing their opponents and eating their dead bodies. And living for hundreds/thousands of years. I don't think the Greeks got very good at that.
Well, they valued glorious death and telling a soldier to live forever was a grave insult. So the elves don't even win there.
Post by: geoduck on April 29, 2009, 11:35:55 pm
Cough*Historical injury*cough*cough.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Post by: Arcanalor on April 29, 2009, 11:38:55 pm
And better ethics, and better weaponry, and better...Wait it would be easier to say what the elves are better at. The elves are better at sucking hard. :)
Just to throw it out there...
Spartans WERE notorious *ahem* child lovers. -- So, the thing they made fun of Athenians for? They did it. And in a much more "D:" kind of way.
Post by: Nerserus on April 30, 2009, 01:36:23 am
(Anakin voice) WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!? :(And better ethics, and better weaponry, and better...Wait it would be easier to say what the elves are better at. The elves are better at sucking hard. :)
Just to throw it out there...
Spartans WERE notorious *ahem* child lovers. -- So, the thing they made fun of Athenians for? They did it. And in a much more "D:" kind of way.
Post by: ousire on April 30, 2009, 01:52:04 am
I read the legends while testing my Lizardman mod, i saw the most hilarious thing ever in my time playing: "The siege of rape", like that isn't funny enough, the combatants were as follows:
Attackers: 43 Lizardmen. 1 Demon ( Undefeatable ) No losses.
Defender(s): 1 Elf. Lost.
There was a "Duel" with the lizardman leader and the elf. The elf lost. Hard.
Then to mark his victory, the lizardman ate the elf.
They thencapturedraped his wife, then destroyed (appearently) the "town"
If that isn't rape i don't know what is. ;D
It's like 300, but instead of 300 spartans, it's just one elf. A recruit. "GIVE THEM THEIR DEA- oh wait i'm on my own...Crap..."
Post by: Lymojo on June 03, 2009, 05:07:56 pm
I had a bunch of monkeys walk in my fort, ignore evryone and evrything on there way to the Kings Room - there they took his pants and left again.
LoL?
Were they the pants he was wearing?
Post by: Lymojo on June 03, 2009, 05:14:41 pm
I don't know if this is one-in-a-million or not but during my first experience with HFS:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What kind, do you remember? Or was it the leader of the pack?
Post by: geoduck on June 03, 2009, 06:19:13 pm
Post by: Byakugan01 on June 03, 2009, 07:38:11 pm
Post by: Shima on June 03, 2009, 07:55:35 pm
Well, I'll let the picture do the talking. Took me about 7 minutes to scroll all the way to the bottom using pgdn.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Tradanbattlan on June 03, 2009, 08:07:16 pm
Post by: ein on June 03, 2009, 08:14:13 pm
Post by: Shima on June 03, 2009, 08:16:26 pm
Gotta love how nobodies become legends when the luck of a Megabeast runs outs.
As an interesting fact: both of them worshiped the Titan in question.
Post by: ousire on June 03, 2009, 08:27:00 pm
Looking it up, my Titan was killed by a simple Dwarven female jeweler/farmer named Bomrek Salvehand, who decided to become an adventurer on her own. He was her only kill. She lived to die of old age on 68 years later. Her husband, also named Bomrek, survived as a guard for a few years more than her.
Gotta love how nobodies become legends when the luck of a Megabeast runs outs.
As an interesting fact: both of them worshiped the Titan in question.
so...they killed their own god? awsome!
Post by: Shima on June 03, 2009, 08:30:13 pm
Post by: ousire on June 03, 2009, 08:46:08 pm
Yep. Can't imagine a more Dwarvy end for that situation, except if Bomrek were on fire, and if they weren't descended from Goblin hostages.
i dunno, the goblinness kinda makes it sound all the more cooler. think about it, they grow up all goblin-y, thinking everything is normal. eventualy they learn they are/were slaves for a race that is the enemy of their own. end up going on an epic quest to defeat the very god of their once masters in an epic battle of revenge for the slavery!
Post by: Blargityblarg on June 04, 2009, 02:27:38 am
Post by: RAM on June 04, 2009, 03:54:45 am
Post by: ThtblovesDF on June 04, 2009, 04:04:27 am
I had a bunch of monkeys walk in my fort, ignore evryone and evrything on there way to the Kings Room - there they took his pants and left again.
LoL?
Were they the pants he was wearing?
Nope they where on the highest point of the map in a wardrobe (my King had his own tower, all fancy and stuff) they took em, ran off, meet my military halfway down the tower and then there was fun and flying pants + monkeys + all dwarfs that try to evade.
Post by: Neruz on June 04, 2009, 05:31:49 am
The Trogs just swept over the Orc invasion leaving headless corpses lying on the ground behind them; the heads were punted about 20 squares north and splatted all over the forest.
If i'd known that was going to happen i would have recorded it :\
Post by: Dunc on June 04, 2009, 12:45:06 pm
He died of hunger in prison :(
I don't know if that's rare or anything but I've never had a noble targeted by someone who failed one of their mandates so I figured I'd post it.
Post by: Leafsnail on June 04, 2009, 02:07:51 pm
My mayor made some silly mandate for items of nickel, and I just didn't have enough nickel. My legendary weaponsmith was then declared an outlaw. He was pissed, so pissed he tantrumed. He walked into the mayor's quarters (one of my founding seven) and beat her to death. Then when he was arrested he didn't put up a fight, just quietly went to jail.Probably just chance. Shouldn't have starved in prison unless he was melancholy/ noone bothered to feed him though.
He died of hunger in prison :(
I don't know if that's rare or anything but I've never had a noble targeted by someone who failed one of their mandates so I figured I'd post it.
Post by: Byakugan01 on June 04, 2009, 02:16:36 pm
Same gos for me and the one time a dragon attacked during a human siege, killing over half or maybe even three-thirds of it before being brought down by horse archers. The best thing? He was injured during world gen, so he did that while periodically going unconscious!
<If i'd known that was going to happen i would have recorded it :\>
Post by: McSmaster on June 04, 2009, 07:45:32 pm
Horror stricken by her fraternizing with the enemy (not to mention the unnatural aspect of her tastes) I at once ordered the captain of the guard and his retinue into her room to witness this deplorable, degrading situation. Dutifully, the guards piled into her room, while she slept on apparently oblivious. The news of the Mayor's perfidy must have spread throughout the fortress faster than a magma fire through a booze stockpile because less than a minute later she was voted OUT of office and replaced as Mayor. Coincidence?
Post by: zchris13 on June 04, 2009, 08:01:34 pm
In one of my first forts, I had a Mayor who appeared to be getting "friendly" with an Elven trade ambassador in her room. She was having many closed door meetings with him and neglecting her duties as broker. I checked in on her to see what she was up to, and she was sleeping in her bed...with the Elven Ambassador on top of her!In a word, yes.
Horror stricken by her fraternizing with the enemy (not to mention the unnatural aspect of her tastes) I at once ordered the captain of the guard and his retinue into her room to witness this deplorable, degrading situation. Dutifully, the guards piled into her room, while she slept on apparently oblivious. The news of the Mayor's perfidy must have spread throughout the fortress faster than a magma fire through a booze stockpile because less than a minute later she was voted OUT of office and replaced as Mayor. Coincidence?
Post by: Nerserus on June 11, 2009, 05:02:12 pm
I suppose that's what happens when you really piss off a demon swordmaster chosen by Armok himself for the kicking of Dwarven ass.
Post by: smjjames on June 12, 2009, 08:24:40 am
Post by: RAM on June 12, 2009, 08:58:26 am
Post by: smjjames on June 12, 2009, 08:59:24 am
Post by: carebear on June 12, 2009, 11:35:33 am
A cage happened to end up on the edge of a draw bridge, and for some reason nobody wanted to move it. Having heard that opening a retractable bridge while items are on it will make the items fly away, I of course opened the bridge.
When I opened the bridge, the cage flew a few tiles to the north, and landed on top of a groundhog that was walking there, and it got caught. :P
Cage traps? We don't need no stinkin' cage traps!
Post by: Mephansteras on June 12, 2009, 11:40:29 am
Hmm...it's not necessarily useful, but you could probably use that trick to drop a bunch of cages down on enemies from above to catch them. Might be able to get trap-avoid enemies that way...
Post by: Leafsnail on June 12, 2009, 01:24:44 pm
That...that is awesome.No, you get a team of 10 carpenters. Then you get them all to make 100 cages each. Then you dump them all on a retractor. Then an orc siege comes, and there will be an explosion of cages. Come to think of it, it would probably trap all the local wildlife too, and overwhelm your animal stockpile.
Hmm...it's not necessarily useful, but you could probably use that trick to drop a bunch of cages down on enemies from above to catch them. Might be able to get trap-avoid enemies that way...
Post by: Kav on June 12, 2009, 03:12:22 pm
Got a Dragon very early in this fortress by a river my friend and I go back and forth playing. This was our very first "good" fortress. We did have walls up and an elevated drawbridge. Of which was only in place to protect us from the occasional roaming bands of monkeys we were getting. We were waiting for all the farmers and wood collecting peasants to run in before locking the gates.
The Dragon was closer than we thought.
Suddenly the fields are scorched leaving at least 3 bodies. Seeing what was happening we throw the switch to the drawbridge. We start maneuvering the military into position. Somewhere in the field an infant burns to death. Then we realize we can't find the dragon. I zoom to her from the unit list and find her near the field of scorched peasants....
Unconscious and missing an eye, lying near to an inexplicably(no burnt grass) dead dwarf.
As it turns out the husband of one of the peasants that died, who was also the father of the baby that burned to death shortly thereafter, was a hunter trying to get back underground. He shot the dragon in the eye rendering it unconscious and then ???somehow??? died next to the dragon.
Another 8 peasants ran right past the incapacitated dragon through the back entrance. He gave his life to save them all.
Shortly thereafter we caught the dragon in a cage trap, later tamed her, and now she's on display in the center of the dining hall. I'll note that this fortress still going strong between the two of us.
Post by: zchris13 on June 12, 2009, 04:21:05 pm
Post by: AtomicPaperclip on June 12, 2009, 05:30:29 pm
After that, both of the babies parents (who were still alive and well, legendary even) dropped down to unhappy.
Post by: Mephisto on June 12, 2009, 08:13:56 pm
No need to spoilerize my post. Back when the intro was made, it would have made sense in reference to lava. If the lava river was struck at the wrong location, it could quickly flood and kill the miner.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Jay on June 12, 2009, 11:24:49 pm
Do I even need to explain this one?
Post by: Tradanbattlan on June 12, 2009, 11:42:51 pm
Nickname him Micheal
Post by: Jackrabbit on June 13, 2009, 12:20:37 am
Post by: Sensei on June 13, 2009, 01:13:22 am
Post by: Leafsnail on June 13, 2009, 05:35:55 am
Post by: jasonxfri13th on June 13, 2009, 05:47:40 am
Post by: Gergination on June 13, 2009, 05:50:28 am
http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=37232.0
Post by: Wh1tefang12 on June 13, 2009, 02:10:03 pm
Post by: Tradanbattlan on June 13, 2009, 04:14:25 pm
Post by: Bacillus on June 16, 2009, 06:16:29 am
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Post by: Sutremaine on June 16, 2009, 06:38:51 am
I had a baby with the unhappy thoughts of a parent dying, .... The baby climbed up a ramp and jumped down until it died of thirstHow many parents did this kid have?
After that, both of the babies parents (who were still alive ....
Post by: Kittah_Khan on June 16, 2009, 07:02:06 am
most of the squad hung back and was sleeping or eating or drinking, wiht only three dorfs actually making their way over to the stationing point.
These were :
the captain of the squad
lonely soldier, whos only friend is the captain, and who has tons of depressing personality traits
a nameless recruit
First to reach one of the two skeletal tigermen is the captain, the moment she makes contact with the tigerman she gets batted away 8 or so squares with a broken lower body, next comes the nameless recruit, he also gets hit, and immediately runs off, with a light grey injury.
Finally, the lonely soldier reaches the captain just as the tigerman is stalking towards her, he rushes at it and begins wrestling the skeletal monstrosity.
After taking several tremendous blows he manages to pop its head off, he now has broken bones all over.
The second skeletal tigerman shows up.
He stands up and interposes himself between it and the captain, after a long fight he gets smashed away with a mortal injury, while this has been happening the rest of the squad has finally made it there and takes care of the tigerman with a single casualty.
Once the captain is carried away to be tended for, the soldier dies of bloodloss, this after fighting off two of the monstrosities to defend his only friend.
Post by: Village_Idiot on June 16, 2009, 09:05:50 am
He shot the dragon in the eye rendering it unconscious and then ???somehow??? died next to the dragon.
The dragon could have bitten him to dead, or have ripped him apart with his claws
Post by: Tradanbattlan on June 16, 2009, 12:22:51 pm
Post by: Kav on June 17, 2009, 11:35:43 am
The dragon could have bitten him to dead, or have ripped him apart with his claws
So he got shot in the eye, murdered the hunter, then decided he was tired and would have a nap before more slaughter? I just assumed the hit knocked him out on the spot, but I guess that makes sense. Although I rather like the "Or he was so amazed with his hit that he took a permanent nap." theory.
Also, we found an the inscription of the dragon striking down the baby :(..... so much fun :D
Post by: zestorum on June 18, 2009, 06:34:33 am
Post by: Smew on June 18, 2009, 10:56:18 am
I've just had a marksdwarf, hunter, take out a giant eagle, straight from the sky. After that his two hunting dogs begin to rip it apart while he coutinued to shoot it. It is now deceased.Urist REALLY wanted some KFC.
Post by: Kate Wissen on June 18, 2009, 11:30:09 am
This was in unmodded DF. You can see an early video of her here: http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-931-monkeyman
I say monkeyman, but that's because I hadn't checked gender until later. And while this may be one in a million, I hope that this can one day be replicated to find out exactly how long something can last through that without intereference.
Post by: tp12 on June 18, 2009, 12:11:48 pm
I just love sharing this story with everyone: My one in a million moment was when a migrant was attacked by a horse. Now since I had walled off my fortress the migrant was sure to die. She was, after all beaten too badly to move. Then the monkeys came. The rhesus macaques would wrestle him until they were over-exerted and unconscious. They tore out his throat, but she didn't die. Slowly, over the period of nearly a year and a half the dwarf lay there being torn apart. She never got hungry or thirsty, so never died of starvation or dehydration. In the end she was nothing but a head, torso and half an arm. The end also only came when some goblins chased off the monkeys. It was discovered that the monkeys had been keeping her alive, and any rescue attempt would kill her.
This was in unmodded DF. You can see an early video of her here: http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-931-monkeyman
I say monkeyman, but that's because I hadn't checked gender until later. And while this may be one in a million, I hope that this can one day be replicated to find out exactly how long something can last through that without intereference.
sounds like... hey, you look hungry, here is your own finger to nibble on.. can I have some too?
Post by: GreatWyrmGold on January 03, 2011, 04:38:23 pm
Post by: ZachUSAman on January 03, 2011, 09:20:15 pm
>champion crossbow dwarf dodges to the side
>champion crossbow dwarf is blown apart
.... so he dodged an attack so hard that he hit the wall and blew up?
COOL
Post by: Daveorock on January 04, 2011, 12:25:42 am
Post by: Narux on January 04, 2011, 12:47:18 am
Some time passes, I see her walking around in the fort. I thought she were okay, but when I check her description her intestines were still hanging out and somehow she got sent to the hospital again.
And meanwhile in hospital, she gave birth to a baby, which she couldnt take care of so that baby was crawling around everywhere randomly. The baby fell off my drawbridge and died, mother with intestines hanging out berserked and started to kill other patients.
Post by: leftycook on January 04, 2011, 02:18:06 am
Post by: Argonnek on January 04, 2011, 02:22:50 am
Post by: Musashi on January 04, 2011, 05:49:17 am
A one-in-a-million moment... Ah! I once saw the chief medical dwarf actually diagnose a patient! Though it may have been a dream...Oh my gosh, me too! And I even saw one clean said patient afterwards with soap.
Post by: Mechanoid on January 04, 2011, 06:16:00 am
This is a short but just soooo uncommon... When (just now) my 10 miners decided to go on break AT THE SAME TIME! Now I can't use my only miners to mine... nice...They've formed a guild and gone on strike. Turning the
Post by: Cyroth on January 04, 2011, 08:11:50 am
It was like
Urist McArmorsmith has created artifact steel breastplate
*unpauses game*
*game pauses again, instandly* Thief! Protect the hoard!
*unpauses game*
Urist McArmorsmith has been struck down!
Those are the moments when I feel like laughing and crying at the same time.
Another one:
I have once had a badass elf girl. Ya rly.
I have a habbit of locking trader into a 7x7 room with the depot in the middle and cage-traps all around.
Then I use those traders (if they go berserk) in my arena.
That one time I captured a elf girl who killed her merchant companion and all caravan animals in something like 10 frames.
Once cought in a cage I used her in my arena, where she spent the next 6 years, killing:
22 Goblins (one of them was even armed, I forgot to disarm him, only noticed after she killed him)
13 other elven traders
17 humans (trader, invaders, caravan guards)
2 dwarfs
1 Ettin !
lots of different animals
and that all with her bare hands!
After that I cought her in a golden cage and displayed her in my main dining hall.
Do intelligent beings still gain stats after going berserk?
If so, then she must have been a legendary fighter/striker/dodger/wrestler by then.
Another fort I created not far away showed lots of engravings of her, raping and slaughtering several of her victims
Post by: Zaerosz on January 04, 2011, 05:30:44 pm
Post by: shlorf on January 04, 2011, 05:48:03 pm
I go check the hospital and there's my axelord already diagnosed and laying on the table being treated by my high master surgeon (migrants new what i needed as i'm playing without dangerrooms and had full hospitals after a few sieges). I check his status screen and it's one and a half page of all his body covered in blisters. I check the health screen and almost every possible body part is inflicted with advanced rot and needs surgery (some bones are still in the serious blistering stage ???.
Gonna unpause now and cross my fingers :D
Post by: forsaken1111 on January 04, 2011, 06:07:17 pm
Bloody hell, GWG, watch the necrobumping!I'd much prefer a necrobump than a completely new identical thread.
Post by: Zrk2 on January 04, 2011, 08:28:52 pm
Just slaughtered a five squad siege. No casualties, so much goblinite (In 40d)!
Post by: Eric Blank on January 06, 2011, 11:24:19 pm
As for myself, I once had a fortress entirely destroyed by goblins, with just one survivor, a fisherdwarf. Not even a cat to keep him company. He lasted a year all alone before being killed in an ambush.
Post by: thegoatgod_pan on January 06, 2011, 11:43:33 pm
Post by: Silent_Thunder on January 07, 2011, 04:25:59 am