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Author Topic: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?  (Read 67337 times)

zchris13

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #75 on: April 11, 2009, 11:40:07 pm »

Sounds like he was in the mood for some Rhesus Pieces.
Urist McMount is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McMount has been struck down!
I second the motion.
Urist McZ is hit with a vicious pun!
Urist McZ has been struck down!
Urist McBattlan sees the bodies of his friends!
Urist McBattlan has become depressed!
Did I just turn this into the glorious ways to rp dieing in DF thread?
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Mount

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #76 on: April 11, 2009, 11:45:41 pm »

depends on if McBattlan throws a tantrum and kills an innocent passerby with an epic sock-toss...

Tradanbattlan

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #77 on: April 12, 2009, 12:12:39 am »

depends on if McBattlan throws a tantrum and kills an innocent passerby with an epic sock-toss...
Might as well check his kills...
*game crashes*

SenorOcho

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #78 on: April 12, 2009, 01:55:36 am »

One of my dwarves decided to stop hauling a wounded marksdwarf to go get a drink... dropping Urist McUnconscious onto a stone-fall trap, triggering it and killing him.

Fun.   :D
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GreenMarine

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #79 on: April 12, 2009, 03:01:01 am »

I just got back from vacation in Mexico. During that time I played a "vacation fortress."

In the fortress I had a Ranger dwarf out hunting. I suddenly started getting spammed with messages that he was failing his job due to falling unconscious. I looked at his wounds sheet and he looked fine. Only a few hours later, after getting annoyed at the unconscious message spam, did I realize I had to scroll down on the wounds sheet. Turns out both of the Ranger's eyes were gouged out. He was completely blind and was continually falling over as he groped around the wilderness attempting to hunt.

Sigh.

I took him off all duties and he lived for quite some time, just wandering the halls of the fortress. Sometimes I would get messages that he failed to eat or drink due to collapsing, but no big deal.

Urist McBlind eventually died when a wooden execution tower I was building collapsed, crushing him as he randomly wandered beneath it.

(In this same game the Liason from the mountainhomes arrived !armless! and continually fell unconscious after he arrived making it no less than 3 years before he finally managed to conduct a meeting with my Mayor. After finally signing a trade agreement he promptly fell stone dead from no obvious cause on his way to the edge of the map.)
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Wahad

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #80 on: April 12, 2009, 06:17:43 am »

I started a new fort. Everything was fine and dandy.

First mood: an earring! Joy!
Second mood: another earring. Well, I suppose they make a good set.
Third mood: ANOTHER mothercarping earring.  >:(
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Orange Drink

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #81 on: April 12, 2009, 06:45:13 am »

not as rare as some of the others, but much, much sadder:

in my current fort, a wave of migrants arrived. among them was Olon the thresher and Thikut, Olon's daughter. Olon owned a mule, and Thikut owned a cute kitten.

soon after arriving at the fort, Olon was struck with a fey mood. he ran to a craftsdwarf's workshop and gathered his supplies, until he demands some metal bars. I tell a rather lazy leatherworker to churn out some bars for him, but I had towait until the magma filled to full capacity for the smelters to operate. The leatherworker churned out a bar of aluminium, a bar of silver, a bar of iron and a bar of lead, but Olon still didn't accept them.

soon afterwards, Olon got angry and went beserk. the closest thing near him was his mule, and punched the poor thing in the face, killing it instantly. this got me scared that my two-dwarf milita weren't going to cut it.

next thing Olon goes for: Thikut's kitten. well, at least he finished that problem earlier than I expected.

then, Olon rushes into the farming rooms. he rushes past the five farmers in his way, and speartackles his daughter to the ground. he proceeds to mangle her until the milita arrived. he punches the first dwarf in the face, brain damaging her badly, and continued to attack his daughter.

the second milita dwarf arrived, and fared a bit better. he punched Olon's chest so hard, Olon got a fracture of his rib lodged in his heart, except that didn't bother him at all. he continued visciously bludgeoning his daughter until he bled to death.

Now i have an almost brain-dead soldier and an extremley depressed girl lying in bed with all of her limbs mangled, both kidneys with yellow wounds, and no left eye.
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Nerserus

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #82 on: April 12, 2009, 09:35:27 am »

I made a champion swordsdwarf, nicknamed 'Sharpe', he took on a squad of hammer goblins, crossbow goblins, and lashers. ON HIS OWN, he was surrounded at all sides but he slaughtered them without a scratch, then, a iron bolt flew across the screen and nailed him in the chest, Left Lung, Right Lung and Heart, all mangled...Yet he still ran towards him and clove him asunder, he then got hit by another bolt from another crossbow goblin in the arm and dropped his shield, still went strong, broke his spine like a twig, then he went after another...And bled to death. I am still working on his great monument, a great example of dwarf power!
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IceShade

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #83 on: April 12, 2009, 12:19:15 pm »

One of my dwarves decided to stop hauling a wounded marksdwarf to go get a drink... dropping Urist McUnconscious onto a stone-fall trap, triggering it and killing him.

Fun.   :D

Just now, there was no one around. I decided to open my drawbridge. Right when the drawbridge raises, a champion walks by and splurge. Champion was crushed by the bridge.

It wasn't against a wall though, so I wonder how that happened. I was hoping it would have sent him flying, but it just crushed him instead.
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zchris13

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #84 on: April 12, 2009, 12:36:03 pm »

The wall that forms crushes things. I think. Sometimes. Maybe the ceiling?
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IceShade

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #85 on: April 12, 2009, 01:19:08 pm »

Nope, I checked that too. No ceiling. He was instantly *POOF*. Crushed. Decayed. All armor gone. Good thing he didnt have an artifact.
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nirodragon

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #86 on: April 12, 2009, 03:10:12 pm »

I had a 'fortress' set up, with little functional defense and only two novice marksdwarves (plus a war dog I'd brought on embark) for a military.  My focus had been on developing industry and such.

A siege comes, complete with a legendary marksgoblin.

The two marksdwarves run out and die quickly, while the war dog wanders just inside the entrance.  As the goblins come near, the dog notices them and runs out.

A few minutes later, the war dog comes back inside and goes to sleep, uninjured.  Every last goblin is dead, there's blood everywhere, and my other dwarves go on about their business of collecting all the stuff once I unforbid it.

An hour later, the dog is killed by a rhesus (which runs off, uninjured, with a left shoe that it got, apparently, from thin air).
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Urist McMiner cancels Mine: Taking a dump
Urist McMiner was disgusted by a miasma lately

I can't believe I just went there...

Aspgren

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #87 on: April 12, 2009, 03:16:39 pm »

edit: oh wait. disregard that I didn't read the post I was responding to properly
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Ieb

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #88 on: April 13, 2009, 02:41:38 am »

One of my kobold camps was given the name Lushlolis. *cough* Yeah. Sadly it didn't go far, because of problems that mostly revolved around hauling the equipment and food to the top of the map, where the river was, but it meant walking past a magma pipe.

A fire imp jumped out, and killed one of my kobolds with a single fireball. Few seconds later, a forest fire. In a flat area.

Surprisingly with some quick digging I was able to get everyone underground just as the waves of fire hit that part of the map.

A while later, after all was done, it was time to start building.

Not soon after, another kobold is dead. Burned to death. A Fire Man had crawled out of the open pit, and soon found the rest of the kobolds.

It was crispy.



Then there is the story of a kobold stonecrafter by the name Banger. One of the original seven, and the only male of the group. He got injured pretty early in that particular forts life, and laid in bed for over a year and half. At this point, I could throw in a joke about a guy named Banger, and all the female kobolds who had to feed and tend to him being his nurses, but I think I'm too lazy for it.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2009, 02:43:47 am by Ieb »
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Eviltyphoon

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Re: One-in-a-million moments you've witnessed?
« Reply #89 on: April 13, 2009, 06:02:00 am »

I started a new fort. Everything was fine and dandy.

First mood: an earring! Joy!
Second mood: another earring. Well, I suppose they make a good set.
Third mood: ANOTHER mothercarping earring.  >:(

You could mod dwqarves so they have 3 ears xD
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"If you can't build a tower upon a sheer cliff face over which you may throw precisely one hundred and fifty-two kittens and seven stalwart dwarves to their explosive doom some fifty stories below, then brother, your game ain't much of a sandbox, is it?"
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