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Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!

55 (71.4%)

We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.

17 (22.1%)

I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.

5 (6.5%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[Splint]

The under reaction to the fact we have elves to kill is a little shocking.

[Aseaheru]

Thats the lack of justice talking.
same with the construction mishap.

[TheFlame52]

I'm here to dispense justice and take breaks... and I'm all out of justice.

[Splint]

I'm here to dispense justice and take breaks... and I'm all out of justice.

That was the worst Duke Nuke'em joke ever.

EDIT: Dear god. ELFS. ELFS ER'RYWHERE. I think I may have made them very upset with us.

[TheFlame52]

That was the worst Duke Nuke'em joke ever.

I actually forgot that was from Duke Nukem. My friends and I use modified versions of that joke a lot.

[Aseaheru]

First time I heard it and it just seems... off.

[Splint]

Here thread, have a small update about the ensuing battle. Total opposition was one pack of giant ticks w/o riders, one tick mounted swordelf squad lead by a master archer, one tick mounted bowelf squad lead by a spearmaster, and one squad of swordelves on foot lead by a regular spearelf. Most of them died but the master archer, four swordelves, and three ticks escaped. Anyways, update tiem.

hr]

3rd Malachite, 211

Well, it seems out Fortress Guard isn't a band of incompetent fuckwits after all. Marlin was working on one of the road sections when a bunch of Giant Ticks jumped her. According to her everything seemed to slow down and she let out a stream of about 6 bolts and took three ticks out of the fight. Didn't kill any of them, but she did mess them up. A bunch of them ran like hell towards the spikewalk and a few got shredded by the traps we got set up there, and she spent the rest of yesterday bashing the wounded ticks in the face with her crossbow and just managed to constantly damage chitin. Guess we need to arm the Fortress Guard a bit better.

Paintbrush was heading out when Terrahex said he saw a spray of ichor by the main entrance and then a bunch of other giant bugs made their move and attacked  2nd Squad. From what I hear it was over pretty quick, and that was with the elves riding on the second group being archers.

Ah jeeze, just got word more are here. Gonna head for the fist to see the fight.

-

Well that was one hell of a fight I just saw! Had the drumbeats for 1st and 2nd Squad to head out and I saw our puffed up ex-overseer out there with his own little team of toy soldiers.

Turns out though he hasn't gone so soft with nobility as I thought and his toy soldiers are actually pretty hardy fighters. While 1st and Second squad were busy tearing the elf archers apart the duke's men met two squads of sword elves and a few ticks. Saw that big son of a bitch Thumper take an elf right off his tick with a jump shot of all things. Sure, he went face first into a rock after he killed the elf but still. I talked to them after the battle and  they had 24 kills between three of them. Found out later one of them was late to the party and didn't get to bloody his hammer with elf brains.

I also saw Skitara take a hit from one of those ticks and end up in a pond, but Dauros pulled her out before she drowned. After putting his pike through the tick in question of course. Skitara got the rider who decided to take a swim himself. Shame he managed to get out of the pond before she actually drew blood though.

I've never been so happy to see dismembered guts and limbs about the place; I'm so used to the clusterfuck that the Great Fence was that seeing us winning on a regular basis is truly inspiring! And against the barkeaters no less!

5th Malachite, 211

That kid Blackbird and a Guardsman named Stibnite ran off a kobold. Stibnite says he managed to put two bolts down range despite being sleepy at the time and the run beat the tar out of it with his shield until it kicked him where the sun never shines and buggered off. I dunno why someone so young joined the military or why he was allowed to but he's said he's too short to use spears and whips properly so he'd going to try using the kobold's knife, which Stibnite says he managed to wrestle away from the 'bold before it booked it like an elf. You know what, I think I'll doodle the fights from the other day in here.

-The following appear to be crude sketches depicting a rather grisly battle-






The fight actually went from 1st Malachite to the 7th, but I felt the need to kinda compress things to within a few days instead of a full week.

[soulslicerjames]

Giant ticks?  How do the elves keep them fed?  I mean, if one could suck a couple humans dry in a single sitting I wouldn't be surprised.  30 might take using constant chicken-splosions just to provide enough warm bodies for them to drain.

Actually, that's probably my answer right there, but then what do they do with all the bodies?  the numbers just don't add up.  (Do note that the numbers are just guesses and may be completely wrong)  Assuming that each squad of ticks or elves on ticks was 10 members in size, each tick fed once a month, and each meal was 6 full-grown chickens per tick, that leaves the elves with 180 dead chickens per month, or 2160 per year.  How many elves could that sustain? (I'm assuming elves eat meat and just don't trade it as they are known to eat their enemies and do accept it when trading)

Yes, I know I'm applying logic to DF, but only because it is leading to such interesting conclusions.

Also, it makes sense that only elves wouldn't kill such horrible abominations.

[Splint]

Blood barrels of course.the foot sword squad was 9 members (no ticks and thus irrelavent,) the unmanned ticks 12, and the other two had ten each.

Giant insects die within a year and a half to two years so keeping blood around wouldn't be too hard as they could just buy the apparent gallons of the stuff the humans and dorfs have laying around.

[soulslicerjames]

I thought of that, but I'm pretty sure that normal ticks in real life only can feed by burrowing their heads into some creature (I'm too lazy to confirm this however), and thus assumed likewise for their giant counterparts.  Also, that's too boring an answer to justify trying to apply logic to DF.

[Splint]

From the pictures I looked at it looks like they could potentially simulate the whole biting process by strapping some animal hide over the barrel or they may be able to just jam their mouth parts in an open lid.

Of course wandering livestock probably fall victim to them.

[TheFlame52]

Yeah, but I assume that because the elves do not buy barrels of blood from dwarves, they do not buy barrels of blood from anyone.

[Aseaheru]

Perhaps we just processed it wrong.

[Lolfail0009]

They eat the meat of their dead enemies, and strain the blood out through their hair into barrels that the ticks then feed on.

[Aseaheru]

That may be it, but what do they do during peace time? Move to a blood-plain?