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Author Topic: How to Bacon like a pro  (Read 29519 times)

Loud Whispers

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How to Bacon like a pro
« on: July 21, 2012, 09:59:04 pm »

Do you want more meat on your animals? Tired of micro-managing your careful eugenics programs for your Dwarves' wholesome nourishment?

If not, it's still an excuse to drown things.

That's reason enough.

One day I happened to come across the idea of using the undead to preserve corpses, and by extension, preserving bacon for a Dwarf vault. On the occasion where the notion that becoming undead instantly makes something more muscular, the two facts clicked in my mind to form a whole new concept.

Zombie bacon farms.

Generally, when one is conducting an experiment, it is worth noting that the observers went insane, killed each other, and then rose from the dead.

It adds Fun to your food.

If you haven't caught the gist of the situation here - there's a way to garner more meat from your slaughter.

What you need:
1. A source of undead evil goodness. A necromancer or evil biome with spooooky interactions will do just fine.
2. A source of meat.
3. ???
4. Water

First, start building a drowning chamber.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
It need not be anything fancy - it could just be a hole in the floor for all it needs to be. As long as you drown things in it, it's good.

Next, secure your source of necromancy.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Add your livestock. For purpose of demonstration : Three pigs and one dog.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Assemble the fortress for the demonstration.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

PULL THE LEVER
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Animal data
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In retrospect I probably should've chained up the animals.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Results afterwards:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Size bonus and muscle bonus. More bacon for all.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Notes: The drowning just ensures the corpses stay fresh and uninjured, ensuring maximum yield. I originally tried it with a regular ol' evil biome and I'd say it works better than with a necromancer; whilst the animals are drowning the undead can still hurt them and potentially sever limbs, lowering bacon yields. On the other hand a necromancer is much more reliable and more easily controlled. In addition the corpse could potentially rot before the evil biome raises it whereas a necromancer will raise a corpse as soon as it has visual contact, guaranteeing your corpse stays fresh.
Also if you want to drown the necromancer for Fun, make the chamber at least 3x3. 2x1 is too small apparently, it was a very close call.




There is a serious science in why doing such things is profitable for your Fort's well-being.
  • By slaughtering the weak animals from childhood, you can massively increase long term produce yields as the genetic pool grows to only accommodate the strongest, largest and fattest animals. The downside to this is that your present stocks will only be sourced from weaklings, who yield little meat and bone. That downside is erased with necromancy.
  • You can't have your cake and eat it, unless you can harness the powers of Necromancy. By processing your animals with the secrets of life and death, you increase your yields drastically no matter what. Coupled with a breeding program - you can maximize your yields in the future AND present.
  • Undead animals do not die from old age. They do not need to graze. They do not need to drink. They do not flee from invaders and wild animals, instead viciously defending themselves until the attacker is dead. They do not spoil, as long as the damage on their body is minimal. They cannot be eaten by vermin. Necromancy is a versatile tool in the farmer's arsenal.


*EDIT
Fixed broken images.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2014, 06:16:03 pm by Loud Whispers »
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stabbymcstabstab

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2012, 10:08:20 pm »

But can you eat undead corpses?
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Contemplate why we have a sociopathic necrophiliac RAPIST sadomasochist bipolar monster in our ranks, also find some cheese.

Loud Whispers

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2012, 10:11:43 pm »

If you slaughter them first, yes.

darkrider2

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2012, 10:52:27 pm »

I. love. you.
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acetech09

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2012, 10:55:17 pm »

Can you drag a undead pig to your butcher's shop, or do you have to re-kill the zombie corpses and butcher them from a stockpile?
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Sutremaine

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2012, 10:56:23 pm »

Also a good way of recycling unwanted pets, as their ownership tag goes away once they get reanimated.
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Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Loud Whispers

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2012, 12:02:10 am »

Can you drag a undead pig to your butcher's shop, or do you have to re-kill the zombie corpses and butcher them from a stockpile?
You have to first lodge an axe in the creature's brain, yes.

Sabreur

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2012, 12:41:09 am »

Excellent science!  Also, I like that you have successfully used "Bacon" as a verb.

DrKillPatient

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2012, 01:16:22 am »

The carpenter in the first picture doesn't seem to be scared of the necromancer. What's up with that?
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XXSockXX

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2012, 08:04:00 am »

I never run out of meat, but this is a very nice application for a necro migrant.
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Sutremaine

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2012, 09:23:40 am »

By the way, what the heck is going on in that last panel? How did those dwarves get set off like that?
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Loud Whispers

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2012, 10:54:33 am »

By the way, what the heck is going on in that last panel? How did those dwarves get set off like that?
One of the Dwarves must've not liked the cramped conditions and attacked another Dwarf. Apparently at some point while this was happening, a loyalty cascade occurred. I locked the brass doors to see what happened next, then once the water lever had lowered the necromancer decided now was a good time to start raising Dwarf corpses.

The carpenter in the first picture doesn't seem to be scared of the necromancer. What's up with that?
It was in a cage before I chained it. Apparently chains and cages make everything docile.

Urist Da Vinci

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2012, 01:05:04 pm »

It's probably best if you do this with a necromancer, not an evil biome, so that you can kill and butcher the Bacon safely elsewhere. Viewing galleries are also apparently not recommended.

thegoatgod_pan

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2012, 03:01:10 pm »

This is why I love dwarf fortress in a nutshell. Discovery for the ages.

I don't know what is more impressive, that dwarves can skip salting and curing meat opting for zombiefication, or that the dark art of necromancy has been twisted to the cause of curing meats.

For what good is immortality, if your beloved, delicious meats can't join you in eternity.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: How to Bacon like a pro
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2012, 03:32:08 pm »

It's probably best if you do this with a necromancer, not an evil biome, so that you can kill and butcher the Bacon safely elsewhere. Viewing galleries are also apparently not recommended.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.
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