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Author Topic: Banter Thread  (Read 369242 times)

hector13

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1710 on: March 24, 2016, 10:14:43 pm »

Well, I guess so.

[conspiracy]
We've had appearances from Wuba, Vector, and now Caz, since a long time.
[/conspiracy]


We met in a little café and thought 'oh, yea, let's visit bay12, that'll really screw with their heads.'

true story

Only the old bastards veterans.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

webadict

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1711 on: March 24, 2016, 10:30:09 pm »

Well, I guess so.

[conspiracy]
We've had appearances from Wuba, Vector, and now Caz, since a long time.
[/conspiracy]
Well, now it's time for some good ol' fashioned B12 Mafia Fanfiction.

"We need your help."

Webadict had looked back from the door he was headed to. The man in black had taken off his glasses, and Webadict could now see the concern in his eyes. 'No,' Webadict thought. 'He's afraid of something.'

Webadict turned away from the door. Something inside him knew that this was just what he had been waiting for.

"If we're going to do this right, it can't be just me." And with that, Webadict opened his briefcase.



The team had been a small one, but one that Webadict had worked with on many occasions. He had called Vector first, but it was pointless. She had known the whole time, already boarding the first plane. That's what you get when you work with a German-Russian special ops, he supposed. He remembered when he first met her, and how nervous she was when she held that gun to his head. Now he wasn't sure if he'd be fast enough to do anything about it.

Next up, he had tried dakarian. He had checked all of his known locations and aliases, but it was pointless. He even checked out a long-shot rumor of him working a peach farm in Georgia, but the man had removed any trace of his existence. The man could've filmed himself killing an entire town, dictated it into a 20 page letter, and nobody would have had any proof he'd been there.

The third one was easy, though. Pandarsenic. He was never hard to find, but Webadict had caught him at a bad time. Unfortunately, with his wife was now four months pregnant and him being elected in Senator in the 2014 election in a race that could only be summed up with "Why would ANYONE do that?!", he was simply too pressed for time.

Webadict looked at the rest of the list and decided that there weren't enough memes to go through the rest, so he looked up Caz in the yellow pages and called him in instead.

The three had arrived. The man in black that had asked for his help drove him to a nearby mansion. He recognized the insignia immediately, and scoffed.

"What's Meph need with me these days? He doesn't need my help."

"The old syndicate's falling apart." The man in black said. "There's simply less money in it. That's why he needs you."

Webadict reached for his gun, but Vector had beaten him to it, firing four rounds into the man. It'd been a setup this whole time, and he hadn't even noticed. Caz jumped into the front of the car, but the wires that lie strewn about on the floor proved this to be a useless move.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Webadict said aloud.



They were already there, and there was no way they were getting out of the yard. Webadict knew there were traps everywhere BUT the mansion. Meph always stuck with the classics. Except for that one time he blew up the car immediately, but no one ever brings that one up.

They got out of the car and made their way to the door. The three stared at each other, before Webadict took a step forward and opened it. The door let out a loud and long groan as it slowly opened into the dark foyer. The door closed as the three stepped inside, and they heard an old, familiar voice.

"Ah, how great of you to join me."

Mephansteras stood near the top of the stairs, pointing the gun directly at them. "Obviously, don't do anything funny, or I'll shoot you. You know, standard rules."

"Vhat do you vant?" hissed Vector.

"My my, is that how you greet old friends?"

"My old freunden do not abandon ze old vays."

Webadict rolled his eyes and looked around the room. "Just kill us now, Meph. I know that's what you really want. We are all that remains of the old guard, isn't that right."

Mephansteras wore a look of indignation and veiled anger. "If you're not going to play along, then just leave."

Webadict turned towards the door, but Meph shot right at his feet.

Meph stomped his feet. The noise echoed throughout the foyer. "You're not supposed to actually leave! Follow the rules!"

Webadict turned back around. "Alright, what's the rules?"

"Standard Super Saint 3, of course. The losers die." As he finished, threw three pieces of paper, crumpled into a ball at them. The three snatched it out of the air.

"Open them." He waved the gun at them to emphasize his point.

Webadict took a look at his own. 'Mafioso,' it read. Then, he dropped it to the floor.

"You have 1 minute. After that you all lose." He smiled at the three, and followed it up. "And I already know who wins."



The three of them talked fast. They each tried to come up with a plan, but they had each spoke over the other. After a few seconds, Caz held up a hand and spoke.

"Web, just lynch me. You can beat him."

Webadict shook his head. "No, I don't think I can do it. I don't want to risk everyone on this."

Vector hit him. "Ve don't have time for zis, comrade! Just do vhat he says!"

Webadict could feel the time slipping by. The seconds that flowed quickly by, before he said it.

"I vote for Vector."

It hadn't been his words, but Caz's, and Webadict saw the look in his eyes. The look of determination. The look of hope. The look of someone that had taken the step to save them all.

Vector turned to Webadict. She nodded at him. She held no regret in her face. And, just as she was about to speak, Webadict cut her off.

"I vote for Vector."

A gunshot rang out, and Vector fell to the floor. Mephansteras gave an indirect smile. "Well, I suppose I was wrong this time. I had assumed Vector would be the sole winner. But, I guess you can't win them all." He pointed the gun at Caz.

"Stop!" Web's voice bounced off the walls. "We haven't learned her role."

"Come now, Web. Do you think I hadn't planned that far ahead?"

Webadict smiled. "Do you think I hadn't either?" He slowly unrolled the paper he had picked up from Vector's hand.

'SUPER SAINT'

Mephansteras' mouth opened in surprise and then in hate. He quickly turned the gun on Webadict, but Caz was quicker. Multiple gunshots rang out.



"You want me to have this?" Caz took the gun from Webadict. "Why?"

Webadict looked out the car windows. "That gun is known as the KING MAFIA. I'd like to say it's mine, but it's not. I received it a long time ago, from a friend." He paused, looking at the mansion before them. "I've killed far too many people in my lifetime. I've betrayed allies. Slaughtered innocents. I have made others do the same." He looked down at his hands. "I'm not fit to carry that gun anymore."

Caz looked again at the gun. It was black, with a line of gold along the top, as if the gun were displaying a crown of its own. "Do you think I'm ready?"

Webadict laughed. "No one's ready. But it happens anyway."

As he opened the car door, he spoke quickly.

"Mephansteras is going to make us play a game..."



"...and when he hands out the roles, I want you and Vector to switch roles." Webadict coughed, smiling as a thin line of blood trailed down his mouth. Mephansteras' eyes stared directly into his, but the life had vanished moments before.

Caz was trying to patch up Webadict, using a surprising amount of medical skills to keep him alive.

"He was right, you know." Webadict strained to talk. Vector gave out a cough of blood trying to laugh as well.

Caz worked without pausing. "Don't try to talk."

Webadict continued. "The losers... die."

Vector's voice was hoarse. "Ve go into ze next leben as comrades in arms." The smile on her face never disappeared as she died.

And then, everything was gone.



Caz looked into the setting sun. The wind blew through his hair, and he never heard anything the minister said. It wouldn't've been correct anyway.

The two graves stood next to each other. Almost suspiciously. The names written on them were nothing close to resembling their real names. It's not like anyone else would care anyway. Nobody else had shown up.

He picked up the briefcase and headed to his car. The gun in his jacket weighed him down like lead.

It started raining.
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TolyK

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1712 on: March 24, 2016, 11:09:50 pm »

That was beautiful.
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just do whatevery tolyK and blame it as a bastard mod
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At this point?  TolyK.

Vector

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1713 on: March 25, 2016, 01:38:26 am »

Two knights walked into a bar.

Three walked out.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

notquitethere

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1714 on: March 25, 2016, 04:30:04 am »

Whatatwist!
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Tiruin

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1715 on: March 25, 2016, 05:58:55 am »

Man, I've missed the WebadictStories and the Tales of the Mafia Old Guard. Best narrative writers I've seen in a long time, even if it is 'just Mafia flavor' :P

Reminds me of all them detective noir/intrigue stories I've read too. Can't remember any of them other than all the background details inside. :'(

That said, gonna banter on # of roles > Average alignment power after a certain game is done. :P Had me thinking a lot.
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webadict

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1716 on: March 25, 2016, 10:28:58 am »

Man, I've missed the WebadictStories and the Tales of the Mafia Old Guard. Best narrative writers I've seen in a long time, even if it is 'just Mafia flavor' :P

Reminds me of all them detective noir/intrigue stories I've read too. Can't remember any of them other than all the background details inside. :'(

That said, gonna banter on # of roles > Average alignment power after a certain game is done. :P Had me thinking a lot.
I would not consider my writing to be anywhere near great, but I will admit I had fun writing it. Had some nice inspiration and rolled with it.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1717 on: March 25, 2016, 11:44:16 am »

I really liked the story, although Vector-accent confused me.
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webadict

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1718 on: March 25, 2016, 12:42:28 pm »

I really liked the story, although Vector-accent confused me.
Is Vector. Is only yoke, see?
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Tiruin

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1719 on: March 25, 2016, 12:57:16 pm »

I really liked the story, although Vector-accent confused me.
It's a thing in German(?) wherein 'w' sounds like 'v'. So I was a bit surprised when the Volkswagen wasn't pronounced as I was used to pronounce it as. :P
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Lenglon

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1720 on: March 25, 2016, 01:03:52 pm »

I really liked the story, although Vector-accent confused me.
It's a thing in German(?) wherein 'w' sounds like 'v'. So I was a bit surprised when the Volkswagen wasn't pronounced as I was used to pronounce it as. :P
((Volkswagen is German. No change needed to pronounce it with a German accent))
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((I don't think heating something that is right above us to a ridiculous degree is very smart. Worst case scenario we become +metal statues+. This is a finely crafted metal statue. It is encrusted with sharkmist and HMRC. On the item is an image of HMRC and Pancaek. Pancaek is laughing. The HMRC is melting. The artwork relates to the encasing of the HMRC in metal by Pancaek during the Mission of Many People.))

webadict

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1721 on: March 25, 2016, 01:15:25 pm »

I really liked the story, although Vector-accent confused me.
It's a thing in German(?) wherein 'w' sounds like 'v'. So I was a bit surprised when the Volkswagen wasn't pronounced as I was used to pronounce it as. :P
((Volkswagen is German. No change needed to pronounce it with a German accent))
Yeah, but their is a difference between a German Volkswagen to an English Volkswagen. It sounds more like Fohlks-vah-gen compared to Vohlks-wagon.
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notquitethere

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1722 on: March 31, 2016, 12:35:13 pm »

You all should go over to the Mafia Championship thread and nominate a champion.
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Gentlefish

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1723 on: April 08, 2016, 12:22:07 am »

Shit. I was about to respond to hector and the day goes ahead and ends. (is that okay to gripe about even though the game is still going on? I'm kind of salty at myself for not hopping to it earlier.)

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Banter thread. Oh, and some quote or another.
« Reply #1724 on: April 08, 2016, 12:37:29 am »

I really liked the story, although Vector-accent confused me.
Is Vector. Is only yoke, see?
I suppose I should clarify that I was confused about how it got there, not what it was.

Even though I'm like two weeks late.
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.
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