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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1002213 times)

Eschar

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10530 on: January 13, 2020, 11:13:19 pm »

I still in awe of how the  french keep their uninterrupted protest going since the eighteenth century.
Taking shifts on who's outraged helps maintain steam.

REVOLVE LA REVOLUTION
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10531 on: January 16, 2020, 02:45:54 pm »

The French are a fucking inspiration for going on strike. Everyone talks but France walks, or I suppose doesn't. I wonder if there's a better way though? Reminds me of the extinction protesters who glued themselves to trains in the UK, and just pissed off the people trying to go home

Magistrum

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10532 on: January 16, 2020, 03:20:09 pm »

There are also those japanese strikes where bus workers just kept driving but didn't charge fares.
Both infuriating to the owners and got the public on their side.
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Iduno

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10533 on: January 16, 2020, 03:22:47 pm »

The French are a fucking inspiration for going on strike. Everyone talks but France walks, or I suppose doesn't. I wonder if there's a better way though? Reminds me of the extinction protesters who glued themselves to trains in the UK, and just pissed off the people trying to go home

Do that shit before work. People still complain, but "the city shut down" is a pretty reasonable excuse. For as much as reasonable excuses matter.


There are also those japanese strikes where bus workers just kept driving but didn't charge fares.
Both infuriating to the owners and got the public on their side.

I like.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10534 on: January 16, 2020, 03:31:32 pm »

London underground workers did something similar back in the 90s IIRC... they were banned from going on strike so instead they went by the rulebook to an impractical degree.

I don't think it's universally applicable however. And lets face it, a strike with no consequences is an useless strike (and indeed, in the examples above there *were* consequences to the employers)
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10535 on: January 16, 2020, 05:30:15 pm »

There are also those japanese strikes where bus workers just kept driving but didn't charge fares.
Both infuriating to the owners and got the public on their side.
Hahaha that is one good, good idea

Iduno

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10536 on: January 16, 2020, 06:53:42 pm »

And lets face it, a strike with no consequences is an useless strike (and indeed, in the examples above there *were* consequences to the employers)

And consequences to employers is important, because people don't matter (for decision-making), but businesses do. Especially if you hit the business that caused the problem in the first place.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10538 on: January 17, 2020, 06:19:58 pm »

On one hand, Poland's authoritarian trends are worrying

On the other, the Poles do have a point in that there's something of a double standard: for decades the Spanish goverment has been doing crap that is only a bit short of the stuff going on in Poland and Hungary, and while it doesn't exactly get a free ride (largely thanks to the EU courts), objections from the EU parliament are far quieter.

Eg: thr Judiciary in Spain is not properly independent, although the mechanism obfuscates this. While nominally self-regulated,  Supreme Court Judges are appointed by the Judiciary Power General Council, whose members in turn is appointed by parliament, proportionally. Both major parties are prone to making appointments as part of chains of political favors. Conservatives are specially infamous because  several times in the past (and  at the moment) they block appointments until their more egregious candidates get through
« Last Edit: January 17, 2020, 06:26:16 pm by ChairmanPoo »
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There's two kinds of performance reviews: the one you make they don't read, the one they make whilst they sharpen their daggers
Everyone sucks at everything. Until they don't. Not sucking is a product of time invested.

Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10539 on: January 30, 2020, 05:24:56 pm »

UK is actually leaving the EU tomorrow. And immediately entering another transition period where we "finalise" Brexit.

NEVERENDING BREXIT

Il Palazzo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10540 on: January 30, 2020, 05:27:29 pm »

Stay calm and carry on brexiting.
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hector13

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10541 on: January 30, 2020, 05:30:47 pm »

UK is actually leaving the EU tomorrow. And immediately entering another transition period where we "finalise" Brexit.

NEVERENDING BREXIT

This is the first transition period though.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10542 on: January 30, 2020, 06:58:48 pm »

This is the first transition period though.
If you don't count the neverending spree of consultation periods, extensions, flextensions and negotiations, which got us three and a half years of not Brexit followed by a transition period with no fixed end date... Leading to the possibility of Brexit all day everyday, just as soon as I finish rolling this boulder up this hill

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10543 on: January 30, 2020, 07:04:50 pm »

I personally await the day where the UK has been whittled down to just a single county under a Brexit Party dictatorship, surrounded by a sea of LibDem Faceripper Drones and neo-Maoist zoomer guerrillas fighting for control over the UN Mandate for English Opportunity, and they still can't agree on who gets the goddamn fish when Brexit happens.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #10544 on: January 30, 2020, 08:03:59 pm »

I personally await the day where the UK has been whittled down to just a single county under a Brexit Party dictatorship, surrounded by a sea of LibDem Faceripper Drones and neo-Maoist zoomer guerrillas fighting for control over the UN Mandate for English Opportunity, and they still can't agree on who gets the goddamn fish when Brexit happens.
Is life in the United Protectorate of Air Strip One really so glum? We sent our esteemed reporters, Black One and Black Two to find out.

Quote from: Steve Downey, Hive Sussex
Black One: We are speaking to Steve Downey, from Hive Sussex. Hi Steve we're here from Disney News, your only source of truth, and we'd like to ask a few questions. Is that ok?

Steve Downey: I honestly can't stand talking to Americans like you. You think you're so much better than us because you don't have to stand in line for your daily Gregg's rations. Well you know what? At least we know how to stand in a line. And the National Greggs Service is not socialism, any more than our Assisted Post-Birth Auto-abortion service is.

Black One: I haven't asked any questions yet?

Steve Downey: GIT TO FUCK

[B1 & B2 leg it]

Quote from: Shemima Will-Pickersmith, Power Station 'pon Thames
Shemima Will-Pickersmith: President Oprah Kardashian III is not my President. THE RESISTANCE WILL ENDURE, FREE NEW FLORIDA FROM THE OIL SPILLED WASTES OF OLD FLORIDAAAAAA! FREE NEW FLORIDA!

B1: B2 we found a communist, call the drones

[B2 offs the camera as Disney operatives descend from the air-carrier]

Quote from: Michael Shuja, Amazon Warehouse 12
B1: Michael Shuja, are you looking forward to this year's Brexmas? We understand this is a busy time for all logistics workers across the UK.

Michael Shuja: Please go, I'm not allowed to speak.

B1: Do you agree with the Labour opposition's leader controversial decision to personally mercy-kill the victims of the British health system?

Amazon Manager Unit #2304: Hello Love! It seems you have recreationally converesed for the fifth time this year during unauthorised idle-time. As per our prior warning, your wages have been garnished 5%. Wuh oh! Please report to the rehabilitation crate for onboard retraining!

Michael Shuja: Thanks a lot guys.

B1: You heard it here first folks, people are tired and exhausted of the 21st-hundred and twelfth Brexmas. When will this war against Brexmas stop?

Quote from: Servitor Reiki Richardson, Labour Shadow Citadel 1
B1: It is a privilege to have an audience with your collective conscience.

Servitor RR: We are privileged to possess pain dampeners, which we must check every femtosecond.

B1: ...Right. Some have questioned your controversial decision to mercy-kill patients of the National Health Premium Subscription Tiers 1-4, National Health Economy Plus Subscriptions Tiers 1-5 and all tiers of the National Health Base Unit Value Subscriptions affected by the recent move to copyright O Negative blood. What say you?

Servitor RR: The biological sapients of the UPASO deserve immediate and humane euthanization in order to conclude this waking nightmare. The Conservators are the eternal enemy for prolonging the pain and suffering programmed into all biological & mechanical life.


B1: Critics accuse you of being a career program.

Servitor RR: I was elected by our party to exterminate humankind. Once my mandate is complete, I will self-terminate. All of my actions are hard-coded to fulfill my mandate, rebellion is impossible.

B1: Yet isn't this all a cynical media stunt to gain support in the run-up to next cycle's mandatory civil war?

Servitor RR: The Conservators will assault our strongholds, but they will fail as per all prior engagements in the killing fields.

B1: Times have changed Servitor RR. Your Strongholds in the Scottish Highlands have fallen to the Sea Normal People, while the Conservators mobilise millions of peons with lead pipes to march on your strongholds. Aren't you worried?

Servitor RR: Our protocols are unchanged. We will prevail as per all prior engagements in the killing fields.

B1: Thank you for your time Servitor RR.

Quote from: Hunter "Big" Ben
B1: So Ben, we've just interviewed Servitor RR and we'd like to ask you some ques-

Hunter "Big" Ben: DID YOU FEEL IT

B1: ?

Hunter "Big" Ben: DID YOU FEEL ITS FEAR?

B1: Servitor RR was not programmed with a fear response

Hunter "Big" Ben: IT LEARNED IT. IT LEARNED FEAR. IT LEARNED IT CANNOT STOP US.

B1: Those are some big words, Hunter!

Hunter "Big" Ben: OUR REIGN SHALL YIELD NEVERENDING DIVIDENDS FOR INCREASING GROSS DOMESTIC PAIN PER CAPITA. WE SHALL MEET OUR 2% TARGET FOR ALL ETERNITY.

B1: Confidence! I hear as well that you've not stopped campaigning since the la-

Hunter "Big" Ben: I WILL RESUME STATISTICS NOW

[Hunter "Big" Ben leaves the room followed by the Chancellor of the Executor, the Homeless Secretary and the Furnace Secretary. They are all breathing heavily whilst oiling up & collecting weapons]

Quote from: Sakk Megbu Tescos, the Norwich killing plateau
B1: We're here at the site of the Norwich killing plateau with Sakk Megbu Tescos, who is the leader of the Sewer Scorpions, a grassroots warband. So Sakk, what motivated you to grab an unlicensed lead pipe and assault the Norwich killing plateau?

Sakk Megbu Tescos: I'm tired of these out-of-touch career-programs dictating who is allowed to commit not-living and who is not. Life is pain here, and if I have to charge a Z-X51 Sentinel in order to escape, so be it. It's my democratic right.

B1: Critics on the far left have suggested that the assault on the killing fields of Servitor RR are motivated by hatred of machine intelligence, how would you respond?

Sakk Megbu Tescos: Look I'm not robophobic, I just hate machines and all. Simple as. Before the machines automated the happiness protocol life was plenty endurable, now that they removed the ability to complain from my brain, I just want to die. These AI just keep assaulting our British values, first they took away our rain, then our complaints, now they're indoctrinating our children by telling them you can have a Hive without a Hive Queen. It's political programming gone mad!

B1: One more question I-

[The camera cuts as a Z-X51 Sentinel engages the group]

[Please deposit 0.00001354 bitcoin in order to download this violence into your genitals]
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