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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 750387 times)

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9945 on: April 15, 2018, 04:27:19 am »

Well the silver guys started paying us the silver again so no one at this point.

I say we develop culturally and industrially to get us to great power status.

G
A

Chevaleresse

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9946 on: April 15, 2018, 04:47:24 am »

GB

A warrior's greatest strength is patience.
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GM of Trespassers V2.
If you like my work, consider becoming a patron. (Since apparently people think this is a requirement: no, my game(s) are free to play and always will be.

Hiddenleafguy

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9947 on: April 15, 2018, 04:53:21 am »

B  Parsia has rugs, we need rugs.
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10ebbor10

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9948 on: April 15, 2018, 04:55:30 am »

No option for Orcworld?
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Rockeater

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9949 on: April 15, 2018, 05:11:02 am »

To where at Orkworld you even plan to send the army?
GA
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9950 on: April 15, 2018, 05:11:41 am »

To where at Orkworld you even plan to send the army?

Punitive expedition into the Jungle of the Lizardwomen?
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9951 on: April 15, 2018, 06:11:29 am »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

-

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Establish Imperial Trade Commission:
To ensure stricter and better control of trade in the Empire and through its borders, an imperial guild of trade and commerce should be created. Its officials will keep an ever-vigilant eye on market trends, supply and demand, as well as establish and maintain favorable tariffs and taxes on goods, and help our merchants gain upper hand over foreigners. Hopefully, they will avoid price gouging, corruption, favoritism and other nasty things.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Endorse State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Establish The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1142 AD: Established Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Summer 1152 AD: Issued the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

End of Year 1153 AD: Established the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

End of Year 1154 AD: Established Religion Tax:
Various congregations are given away territories and various tax exemptions for those. With erosion of religious influences upon the state, its prime opportunity to dip our hand into prime source of income that is donations and tithes gathered by those numerous cults present in the empire. It will surely not please them, and, by extension, your subjects.

End of Year 1156 AD: Expanded Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.

End of Year 1158 AD: Enacted Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

End of Year 1159 AD: Introduced Elective Succession Laws:
Sometimes a firstborn might be below average in terms of his skills to rule the nation, but there might be no other alternatives left, even amongst females. Elective Succession will allow the monarch to select the most skilled to inherit the throne, even a distant (or foreign!) relative of the successor, although this might cause problems with less gifted yet highly ambitious relatives of the next ruler, as well as local nobility.

Late Autumn, 1160 AD: Proclaimed Dissolution of Cloisters:
There are some faiths that are living and dwelling in estates and keeps that once belonged to the Crown, hoarding wealth within! We should force them out, restoring the important buildings to our governance as well as profiting from the stored treasures. Obviously, the worshippers of the faiths in question will be angry about this.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9952 on: April 15, 2018, 06:13:35 am »

Establish the Royal House of Learning!

Does the Imperial Trade Commission supersede the Passage Tax like the Elective Succession Laws did for Expanded Primogeniture?
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9953 on: April 15, 2018, 06:17:29 am »

Basically, ye.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9954 on: April 15, 2018, 06:27:32 am »

Well the silver guys started paying us the silver again so no one at this point.
What delivery? They brought you just 1 more of the unpaid payments.

However with a wise king I would like to try diplomatic remedies first, perhaps a formal visit during which we peruse the finer language of the contract and come up with something more definite than whenever Tetan feels like it.


Wise king, first edict:
Royal House of Learning is go people! Everybody man your classrooms! This is not a drill!

In the future I'd also like to consider returning the cloisters: we have homeless Alldivines running around unhappy, and Yoe could maybe repair their rift with the crown. Consider, I say. Just musing aloud, settling people down might help the pop score.
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Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9955 on: April 15, 2018, 07:00:51 am »

House of Learning
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Iituem

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9956 on: April 15, 2018, 07:44:20 am »

House of Learning
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9957 on: April 15, 2018, 08:08:43 am »

House of Learning Our smart people are going to be the smartest of all the smart people in the world! For us Methiantese/Luathbasians people are the best in the world!
« Last Edit: April 15, 2018, 08:12:57 am by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Criptfeind

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9958 on: April 15, 2018, 08:10:49 am »

No edict. We're still at -1 and it took us years to recover. Lets at least get to zero first.
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #9959 on: April 15, 2018, 08:32:35 am »

No option to send our military into Orc-World?
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.
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