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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2126630 times)

happydog23

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1035 on: February 01, 2010, 10:17:31 pm »

You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

This is why I generally use a floodgate and a door between any area that will contain magma before it gets filled.

Desiderium

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1036 on: February 02, 2010, 05:01:08 am »

So, I build this grand fortress dome which I hewed from the mountainside itself, hollow out the topside of the dome and fill it with 2 z-levels of magma. Beforehand I built magma-safe floodgates that open up the flow all over the entire front of my fortress, where my hastily built Trade Depot is.

No, that's not the good part. I decide to move the trade depot on top of the dome, and make a path up to it accordingly, as well as an opening to the roof of my fortress from the inside. Finally, the Merchants from the mountainhomes arrive and begin to make their trek to my fortress. Little did I know, Bug 850 had different ideas on the fate of the supplies from the Mountainhomes and their merchants.

While putting the finishing touches on my pumpstacks that will pump water through the center of my fortress giving everyone happy mist thoughts and possibly flooding everything if it goes awry, I get a message.

Urist McHauler has died in the heat.

...What?

I look for his body around the usual suspect areas, smelting room and such. Nothing, search around the barra-
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McHauler has died in the heat.
Urist McMayor has died in the heat.
Urist McChampion has died in the heat.
Urist McCat has died in the heat.
Urist McMason has died in the heat.


Everything is on fire, the barracks, the trade depot, and all the haulers which caught fire are now running through my fortress to their wooden beds to rest, and asking for water from soon to be flaming dwarves, who give them water, catch fire, catch the bucket they're holding on fire, and proceed to take the wooden bucket back to the stockpile room full of wooden bins, barrels, alcohol, and buckets.

Needless to say, my entire fortress was alit within a matter of seconds, all because my Merchants walked up a ramp with only a single wall separating them from magma. Because of such, the pack animals caught fire, the wagon pushed them to the Trade Depot full of wooden bins. Fun ensued.

/facepalm
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Urist McWounded has created a microcline bucket, on the bucket is an image of Urist, Urist is surrounded by the dwarves, Urist is wasting away, The dwarves are working, The bucket is empty.  On the bucket is an image of Urists third finger in dwarf bone.

Lord_Shadow

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1037 on: February 02, 2010, 11:19:27 am »

Lose 21 dwarves to one skeletal whale... then have one recruit wrestle it to death...
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Urist McCarpenter cancels rest: QUITSCREWINGWITHMAHBUCKETSYOUSONOFABITCHES!!!
Urist Mccarpenter has gone stark raving mad!
Urist McWalrusCarpenter cancels rest: Has u seen mah bukkit?!

Bralbaard

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1038 on: February 02, 2010, 02:35:24 pm »


Urist McHauler has died in the heat.

...What?
 all because my Merchants walked up a ramp with only a single wall separating them from magma. Because of such, the pack animals caught fire, the wagon pushed them to the Trade Depot full of wooden bins. Fun ensued.

/facepalm

We had that happen in the Halltraded succession game as well, the trade depot was stacked to the roof with rum for trading as well, fun times...
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Exiledhero99

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1039 on: February 02, 2010, 02:42:45 pm »

You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

I can't remember where, but I know there is a button to prioritize roads
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If you hit a dwarf with moving water with sufficient strength it will knock the baby out of the mother's arms.  The water can then be used to sweep the baby into a well or cistern for drowning.  The device which does this can also double as a mist generator.

assimilateur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1040 on: February 02, 2010, 02:48:59 pm »

You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

I can't remember where, but I know there is a button to prioritize roads

You're thinking about traffic zones, and those will not keep them from going that way if there's no other route to their destination.
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Innominate

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1041 on: February 02, 2010, 08:11:35 pm »

Lose 21 dwarves to one skeletal whale... then have one recruit wrestle it to death...
A while back I lost a few legendary wrestlers (didn't have any weapons, it was a glass only fort) to 3 skeletal whales. Then the entire fort to the next charge of 4 more as soon as I killed the last of the others.
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Exiledhero99

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1042 on: February 02, 2010, 09:20:46 pm »

You can't actually forbid dwarves from going somewhere. (Except outside, sort of.)

Soooooooooo my legendary miner was doomed to his own idiocy?

I can't remember where, but I know there is a button to prioritize roads

You're thinking about traffic zones, and those will not keep them from going that way if there's no other route to their destination.
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If you hit a dwarf with moving water with sufficient strength it will knock the baby out of the mother's arms.  The water can then be used to sweep the baby into a well or cistern for drowning.  The device which does this can also double as a mist generator.

LoneJedi7

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1043 on: February 03, 2010, 02:33:19 pm »

my moment was when i had my legendary minor/Broker/expedition leader mine into a water murky pool that i drained in a failed attempt at making an underground lake, and the water (though it was only 2/7) came out and froze him, and his equipment (which included giant cave spidersilk socks), solid because it was mid-winter. 

never saw it coming.......

this post was made in the loving memory of: Billy Vabrokigoth, Miner.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2010, 02:38:47 pm by LoneJedi7 »
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1044 on: February 03, 2010, 05:09:16 pm »

I just lost a promising fortress to magma for the first time because I channeled the wrong tile.  I feel dead inside great.
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RandomNumberGenerator

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1045 on: February 04, 2010, 12:41:20 am »

I wanted to rapidly boost my fortress wealth, so I set my stoneworkers to mass produce crafts, smiths to mass produce metal decorations, glassworkers to mass produce crystal and jewlers to mass produce gems. Then I closed the only entrance to my fort so I wouldn't have to worry about goblins and let it run for a while.

I came back an hour later to find my fortress in a tantrum spiral, starving to death. The one thing I forgot to set my dwarves to mass-produce - food. I had well over 2000 inedible whip vines and sweat pods. Plenty of booze though. At least my dwarves died drunk. 
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Kyronea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1046 on: February 04, 2010, 05:36:18 am »

I wanted to rapidly boost my fortress wealth, so I set my stoneworkers to mass produce crafts, smiths to mass produce metal decorations, glassworkers to mass produce crystal and jewlers to mass produce gems. Then I closed the only entrance to my fort so I wouldn't have to worry about goblins and let it run for a while.

I came back an hour later to find my fortress in a tantrum spiral, starving to death. The one thing I forgot to set my dwarves to mass-produce - food. I had well over 2000 inedible whip vines and sweat pods. Plenty of booze though. At least my dwarves died drunk. 

How do you forget to set them to mass-produce food though? Usually that's something you set up at the beginning of the fortress and more or less leave to run itself from then on, right? (Though I generally tend to use edible-from-harvest plants for food production and use the other stuff as supplements mostly for cooking and brewing.)
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Reese

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1047 on: February 04, 2010, 05:20:56 pm »

I wanted to rapidly boost my fortress wealth, so I set my stoneworkers to mass produce crafts, smiths to mass produce metal decorations, glassworkers to mass produce crystal and jewlers to mass produce gems. Then I closed the only entrance to my fort so I wouldn't have to worry about goblins and let it run for a while.

I came back an hour later to find my fortress in a tantrum spiral, starving to death. The one thing I forgot to set my dwarves to mass-produce - food. I had well over 2000 inedible whip vines and sweat pods. Plenty of booze though. At least my dwarves died drunk. 

How do you forget to set them to mass-produce food though? Usually that's something you set up at the beginning of the fortress and more or less leave to run itself from then on, right? (Though I generally tend to use edible-from-harvest plants for food production and use the other stuff as supplements mostly for cooking and brewing.)

Not if the food has to be milled and cooked before it can be eaten, as is the case with what he had
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Kyronea

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1048 on: February 04, 2010, 09:25:53 pm »

Quote from: Reese link=topic=34430.msg1013083#msg1013083 date=1265322056
Not if the food has to be milled and cooked before it can be eaten, as is the case with what he had
[/quote
Yes I realize that. What I'm wondering is why you would rely mainly on a food source that requires that extra processing? It...it just makes more sense to me to have at least something other than that.
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assimilateur

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #1049 on: February 04, 2010, 09:51:32 pm »

It makes more sense than might be readily apparent. With few purple helmets, or whatever else might be eaten raw, your dwarves are going to be eating high-value roasts for most of the time, which keeps them happier than basic raw food.
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