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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2131127 times)

adasdad

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5820 on: February 22, 2012, 05:16:45 pm »

My ... dwarves just elected a vampire into the mayor's office. Several weeks after she was found out and convicted for two murders.

I don't know anymore.  :-[
wow, it's almost as if Dwarfs are little psychopaths. :o
you don't say?

It's very hard not to sig that.

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Nvm to big
couldn't you just get the little psychopaths/ you don't say? that would be what i would sig... speaking of which...
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euphoric?

slay_mithos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5821 on: February 22, 2012, 07:07:00 pm »

Just now, setting up a danger room because I had no dwarf able to take on anything, and after a few injuries directly sutured at the hospital, one get his throat pierced and dies before anyone can do anything.

They only lacked boots and gauntlets, because I didn't have enough to make a full equipment.

I first facepalmed, thinking I had set up too much training spear or too high quality, but no, one spear, at most "+".

On the plus side, I get to entomb a dwarf that didn't get killed by giant bees. On the minus side, I cant' use those rooms until I find out why the safest training mode became lethal...

EDIT:

It appears that it was a "hidden" (as in 'not written in change log')feature of Masterwork that I am using. He made the training spears more piercing, meaning I can also use them in actual pitting battle now...

Ok then, back to the normal sparring I guess, it will only take me 10 years to reach something that can actually fight with the base I have, but that's still better than killing them all in danger room.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2012, 07:36:35 pm by slay_mithos »
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Samuel

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5822 on: February 22, 2012, 09:34:27 pm »

Its easier to tell a dwarf to deconstruct a table, dig the floor out from underneath an owned piece of rotten food, rebuild the floor over the piece of food, then replace the table, then it is to tell them to move the thing out of the dining hall so it stops filling the place with miasma.
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rtg593

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5823 on: February 23, 2012, 12:28:55 am »

Just now, setting up a danger room because I had no dwarf able to take on anything, and after a few injuries directly sutured at the hospital, one get his throat pierced and dies before anyone can do anything.

They only lacked boots and gauntlets, because I didn't have enough to make a full equipment.

I first facepalmed, thinking I had set up too much training spear or too high quality, but no, one spear, at most "+".

On the plus side, I get to entomb a dwarf that didn't get killed by giant bees. On the minus side, I cant' use those rooms until I find out why the safest training mode became lethal...

EDIT:

It appears that it was a "hidden" (as in 'not written in change log')feature of Masterwork that I am using. He made the training spears more piercing, meaning I can also use them in actual pitting battle now...

Ok then, back to the normal sparring I guess, it will only take me 10 years to reach something that can actually fight with the base I have, but that's still better than killing them all in danger room.

Well.... On the thread for that mod... He did say not to make a danger room... Then immediately reiterated it by saying seriously, don't, the training weapons are significantly stronger, they will kill. :P

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I decide to cheat a bit, and use Therapist to quickly nickname every dwarf with "nn" (cuz it's quick to type). I go into DF to see which ones are vampires, cuz I keep losing dwarves. At the bottom of the list, I find 6 children and 9 babies, all without nicknames. I think, holy crap, I have a bunch of vampire kids!

I begin writing a post, basically asking if vampire kid/babies is possible, stating the above, as well as the fact that one 7-year-old little girl is a LEGENDARY stonecrafter... As well as being the daughter of Kib BITEMERCHANT (seriously, is there a better vampire alias? :p)... As I'm moving the mouse to the post button, it occurs to me...

I have children/babies hidden in Dwarf Therapist.
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Ascimator

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5824 on: February 23, 2012, 03:23:46 am »

When I traded all of my crafts for a few stacks of berries because of mispressing.
Worse? THEY ARE ELVES.
P.S. Screw it, I'll just seize stuff from them.
New objective: magma obtaining.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2012, 03:27:21 am by Ascimator »
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Reudh

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5825 on: February 23, 2012, 03:50:34 am »

I had a dwarf go fey.

He wandered around until I built a leather workshop. He claimed it and sat there.
I hurriedly ordered a horse to be butchered and its skin tanned; he took two steps towards it and went melancholy.

slay_mithos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5826 on: February 23, 2012, 06:14:10 am »

Well.... On the thread for that mod... He did say not to make a danger room... Then immediately reiterated it by saying seriously, don't, the training weapons are significantly stronger, they will kill. :P
Yeah, I have been told that after posting, but the thing is that he encourages doing it in the documentation that comes with the mod, saying that some consider that over powered as dwarves level very fast.
I should have known that a guy that makes plants grow slower, metal smiting take multiple bars, dangerous mining and other stuff like this would not be in favour of such methods, but that hurts when you find it the hard way.
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Jackolantirn

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5827 on: February 23, 2012, 06:15:12 am »

First time playing DF.

When the dwarf caravan arrives right before winter of the 20th year, a goblin crossbow ambush is revealed. I send my dwarf army to kill the goblins before they hurt the caravan. They get preoccupied by my pastured capybaras and a couple stray dwarfs, so my military engages them before they engage the dwarf caravan.
While my dwarfs are fighting topside, a forgotten beast spawns in the underground caverns and paths into my fortress.

Fortunately, after 15 years I finally had some of my dwarfs trained so well with the crossbow that they made quick work of the goblins with the masterfully crafted iron bolts that my +20 weapon smith had been creating. Dealt with the goblins so quickly that my dwarfs still managed to get back in time to stop the forgotten beast as it walked up the stairs to the floor where I had all my workshops. It took forever to kill the forgotten beast, it being made of some sort of rock and all, apparently... It wasn't until all my military dwarfs and war dogs had surrounded the beast that a bronze pick came out of nowhere and beheaded the monster!
I had only lost 2 dwarfs to the goblins, and then I received a message where one dwarf bled to death. Went from 193 dwarfs to 190. "Not bad," I thought.

Looking through the report of the dwarf that bled, I wondered what it meant by "caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!"

And then I saw all the reports ending with "caught in a cloud of forgotten beast boiling extract!"
And then I was swarmed with messages of dwarfs and war dogs bleeding to death. I lost almost all my dwarf population! TT
I guess that's what the announcement meant by "beware of it's poisonous vapors" is suppose to mean.

I think... Time to abandon fortress and update to the newest dwarf version. ^^;;
« Last Edit: February 23, 2012, 06:17:54 am by Jackolantirn »
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slay_mithos

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5828 on: February 23, 2012, 08:34:12 am »

It's me again, this time more a "what the hell" than a face palm, I guess, but still...

Starting a new fortress, flat land, only a little soil for the farms, but a brook so no problem for putting mud where I want.

After a minute or so, just the time to dig some farm plots and a basic food storage:
"Ersuh Lelumthikut, expedition leader is throwing a tantrum!"
Wait, what? It's only the 9th Slate, nobody died, what happened?

It appears that he didn't like an other of the 7 starting dwarves, and as they both had nothing to do before my miner dug a little, they were "forced to talk" to each other, and took a heavy rain from the starting day.
He punches a cow, a chicken, no injury for anyone, he calms down.

I build a fast table, chair and some beds, place them where I can, to at least not make them more miserable.

On the 3rd Felsite, meaning merely a month after having embarked:
"Sodel kol, Gem cutter is stricken by melancholy!"
It appears that this dwarf was in even worse condition, as his hated one was the leader.

So, in a month and two days, I have one dwarf that will die soon, and one that is likely to cause problems until I can get something to satisfy him (legendary bedroom, anything)

Ok, dwarves, you didn't choose the right wagon to jump in, the fort is cancelled, you can all go back home now!
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Terratoch

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5829 on: February 23, 2012, 03:35:56 pm »

Found an excellent site with a river and everything I wanted. River had a 1 tile wide land fall on the other side.
Migration wave comes... on the other side of the river. -.-;

Build a road of floor from my side to the other side of the river.
They aren't crossing. What, my road bridge isn't good enough for you?

Okay, fine. I build a paved road and wall both sides. Still idling about.
Now they start starving and thirsting to death. What the hell?

Then I notice the tree blocking their path to the road.

 >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
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Castamere

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5830 on: February 23, 2012, 05:19:26 pm »

My Carpenter/Mechanic ran all over the map with a giant bushtit corpse going right after him
He distracted it while my dorfs pulled all the food and wood inside
And actually escaped from a giant zobie bird and dashed into the fort like a baws and sealed it right after
So it was Facepalm--->fuck yeah
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WillowLuman

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5831 on: February 23, 2012, 07:39:36 pm »

My siege-operating crew all killed each other during firing, except for one dwarf, because they kept walking in front of the Ballistae.
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Clutzy

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5832 on: February 23, 2012, 07:48:04 pm »

After two crashes on a very large map with lots of high things I decided on a short history. I was very excited as I'd been waiting on the Lazy Newb Pack to come out before I played. In the meantime I read the forums. Sadly I concentrated on the wrong things. I got my usual embark (though a little cooler than I prefer) and noticed it had a lovely, giant waterfall a little to the left. You...you see where I'm going with this right?

All but my Miners had died. Then the Expediation Leader had decided to start a fight with the other one. APALMdoned NaturalMirrors. Let's try this again!
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Flying Dice

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5833 on: February 23, 2012, 11:22:01 pm »

Gen more than 50 worlds to find a 4x4 embark with flux, a sedimentary layer at the surface, and a major river. Start digging. Realize that you forgot to remove [AQUIFER] tag from sandstone. Use dfreveal, discover that ~12 z levels are solid sandstone.


FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
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rtg593

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #5834 on: February 24, 2012, 12:35:55 am »

Gen more than 50 worlds to find a 4x4 embark with flux, a sedimentary layer at the surface, and a major river. Start digging. Realize that you forgot to remove [AQUIFER] tag from sandstone. Use dfreveal, discover that ~12 z levels are solid sandstone.


FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Looks like you got some fun digging/pumping ahead of you:p at least it can be done, but ya, that sucks.
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