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Author Topic: Dwarven... "Child Care"  (Read 330950 times)

CursedBurger

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #615 on: March 15, 2012, 12:28:04 pm »

I'm starting up a new experiment: Children will be dumped into the vampire breeding grounds en masse, with as many nonthreatening animals as can be mustered. They'll all become immortal vampires, then likely go insane, at which time the berserk vampire children (hopefully approaching 1/3 the applicants) can be trained into tiny unarmed monsters through kitten punching bags (and/or other children).
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Vilhelm

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #616 on: March 15, 2012, 01:23:39 pm »

I'm starting up a new experiment: Children will be dumped into the vampire breeding grounds en masse, with as many nonthreatening animals as can be mustered. They'll all become immortal vampires, then likely go insane, at which time the berserk vampire children (hopefully approaching 1/3 the applicants) can be trained into tiny unarmed monsters through kitten punching bags (and/or other children).

Great idea! Please let us know how it goes, this sounds really interesting! Industrial breeding of vampires...why didn't I think of that!
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khearn

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #617 on: March 15, 2012, 01:26:50 pm »

I'm starting up a new experiment: Children will be dumped into the vampire breeding grounds en masse, with as many nonthreatening animals as can be mustered. They'll all become immortal vampires, then likely go insane, at which time the berserk vampire children (hopefully approaching 1/3 the applicants) can be trained into tiny unarmed monsters through kitten punching bags (and/or other children).
What's to keep them from becoming bloodless corpses instead?
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Have them killed. Nothing solves a problem quite as effectively as simply having it killed.

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #618 on: March 15, 2012, 02:29:41 pm »

I'm starting up a new experiment: Children will be dumped into the vampire breeding grounds en masse, with as many nonthreatening animals as can be mustered. They'll all become immortal vampires, then likely go insane, at which time the berserk vampire children (hopefully approaching 1/3 the applicants) can be trained into tiny unarmed monsters through kitten punching bags (and/or other children).
I assume you're going to build a well of unlife and not just literally feeding them to vampires?

Sabreur

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #619 on: March 15, 2012, 02:43:18 pm »

I'm starting up a new experiment: Children will be dumped into the vampire breeding grounds en masse, with as many nonthreatening animals as can be mustered. They'll all become immortal vampires, then likely go insane, at which time the berserk vampire children (hopefully approaching 1/3 the applicants) can be trained into tiny unarmed monsters through kitten punching bags (and/or other children).

Wait, what if we did this with werecreatures instead?  Can children be turned into werecreatures?  Admittedly, it would be one hell of a trick to get your child bitten without getting them torn in half and splattered all over the walls, but if you pulled it off you'd have a child who could regenerate all injuries each month.  That would go a long way towards keeping them alive while still putting them through enough danger to train their skills.  Of course, they'd never be allowed to have any friends or see any dwarf except their fellow (werecreature) soldiers, but I think that was part of the plan already.

bukitodinos

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #620 on: March 15, 2012, 03:29:24 pm »

were-spartans?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 15, 2012, 03:33:00 pm by bukitodinos »
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I mean for the love of god! There's hair trying to kill a dog!
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Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #621 on: March 15, 2012, 05:09:00 pm »

When a dwarf becomes were-something, do they retain all their equipment?  If so, then a monthly "let the beasts out and wipe the map of enemies" could be amazingly powerful.  Imagine a dwarf, then imagine that this dwarf is legendary in axes, shields, dodging, everything!  And now that dwarf is a large badger wearing steel.  HFS be damned, were-army could shred anything!

bukitodinos

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #622 on: March 15, 2012, 06:27:17 pm »

  HFS be damned, were-army could shred anything! EVERYTHING

meaning that they will TEAR trough your dwarves and should only be used in emergency IE. a normal army is better because they wont kill everything

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I mean for the love of god! There's hair trying to kill a dog!
back to professional martinis with bukitodinos!
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Sabreur

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #623 on: March 15, 2012, 06:28:34 pm »

When a dwarf becomes were-something, do they retain all their equipment?  If so, then a monthly "let the beasts out and wipe the map of enemies" could be amazingly powerful.  Imagine a dwarf, then imagine that this dwarf is legendary in axes, shields, dodging, everything!  And now that dwarf is a large badger wearing steel.  HFS be damned, were-army could shred anything!

Has anyone come up with a reliable way to infect your own dwarves without getting them ripped in half or using something pathetic like a were-wambler?  I was just thinking we could use the 'regenerate wounds' bit to keep the children alive through training, but an immortal army of mentally-scarred werebadger axedwarves is significantly more awesome sounding.

Sabreur

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #624 on: March 15, 2012, 06:30:33 pm »

  HFS be damned, were-army could shred anything! EVERYTHING

meaning that they will TEAR trough your dwarves and should only be used in emergency IE. a normal army is betternot as fun because they wont kill everything

I promised myself I would never do a 'ftfy', but I couldn't resist.  My apologies.

bukitodinos

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #625 on: March 15, 2012, 06:33:42 pm »

do you WANT a tanturm spiral?
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I mean for the love of god! There's hair trying to kill a dog!
back to professional martinis with bukitodinos!
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Naryar

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #626 on: March 15, 2012, 06:36:31 pm »

Goal = entire fortress infected with werebeast.

Possibly something really cool.

Sabreur

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #627 on: March 16, 2012, 11:24:34 am »

do you WANT a tanturm spiral?

Nah, I just think you're overstating the risks.  As long as we keep the weredorf spartans separated from the normal civilized dwarves, I don't see a problem.  We were planning to keep them separate anyways to keep them from forming dangerous friendships and such.  Just keep them locked up until a siege shows up and let them out once your civilians are safely cowering behind raised drawbridges.  Worst case scenario, a bunch of migrants show up at the same time as the siege - in which case they were probably boned anyways.

Of course, having said that first sentence I fully expect to be back here in a week posting screenshots of 30 legendary werebadgers rampaging through my dining hall because I forgot about an open wall on a second-floor construction project somewhere.  But hey, that just leads nicely into the 'all werecreature fort' experiment!

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #628 on: March 16, 2012, 11:43:22 am »

Does a were-dwarf become hostile in were-form?  If so, you could have them placed onto a pressure plate via a burrow defend order, and two doors leading out.  The first door is linked to the pressure plate, while the second is linked a lever in the dining hall.  When a siege arrives, you pull the lever and the outer door opens.  When the month turns and they become were-beasts, then the second door opens and the monsters are unleashed.  When the siege is lifted, you open another back door that lets the now regular dwarves go back to their little rooms and await the next siege.

Reudh

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Re: Dwarven... "Child Care"
« Reply #629 on: March 18, 2012, 02:27:14 am »

The dwarven scientist Gurl Inhaat walked up the row of caves, sealed off from the rest of the fort.

Project Childcare had been in operation for just on ten years now. It was the most top secret !!experiment!! ever conducted in the history of dwarfkind- the only ones who knew about the experiment were Dr. Gurl Inhaat, the overseer and the 'products', and finally the aides- hand picked by Gurl Inhaat for their secrecy and skill with !!science!!.

Never before had this been attempted. The aim of Project Childcare was to create Blighted Supersoldiers, as Gurl Inhaat thought of them. It was all coming to fruition; Project Childcare moved in roughly ten year cycles. The experiment involved rabid dogs, food hatches and controlled amounts of magma mist- Gurl Inhaat had come up with the plan to make invulnerable, mad soldiers after examining many dwarven medical textbooks- that fire only hurt dwarves because the fat in their body boiled- without fat they would not burn. Twelve straight years of dodging the attacks of a rabid dog aimed to give the subjects reflexes like none other, and massive amounts of strength to boot.

Over the years, twenty subjects had been chosen from the fort's population. Their parents were informed of a 'hauling accident' - that the child had died doing a job for the fort- killed by a crundle, were crushed under rock, or similar.

Of those twenty subjects, six remain. Dr. Inhaat noted their names down.

  • Subject 1A, a young male dwarf, had been the first to enter. Over the years, he had shown vast improvements in agility, strength and mental toughness, until he abruptly died in Year 7 of the project from an infection contracted from a broken nail.
  • Subject 1B, 1A's sister of a similar age to him, had progressed well until the controlled magma scorching was not controlled enough, and so she died.
  • Subject 2A, a male dwarf who entered rather late, had shown next to no improvement until with an accidental strike he killed his dog. A second dog was released into the chamber via. the Pit Method, which was killed in one strike. 2A continued to single-strike his opponents until the dog population was nearly exhausted, and so 2A was deemed a failure and the chamber was reset.
  • Subjects 3A through 3F were chosen for their beginning strength, which was noted to be immense for young dwarves. However, a potential liability was noticed in the dwarves- all of subjects 3A through 3F were mentally unstable, and all but 3C went mad within the first year. 3E was inspired by his trials to create a powerful artifact, and duly noted materials were thrown to him through the Pit Method, by the aides- however 3E's mind broke under the strain, and he killed his dog then elected to ignore the food and drink passed down to him. 3C survived a little longer, after repeated killing of his dogs he seemed to be unaffected by his traumas and it was deemed that a stronger animal must be sent in to challenge 3C. 3C was given a war dog as his foe- unfortunately it was too strong for him and defeated him.
  • Subjects 4A through 4E died on the first day, as they knew each other and could feel the deaths of the others. This affected them so strongly that their minds broke and they died after 4D was killed by her dog.
  • Finally, Subject 5A, Subject 6A, 7A and 7B, 8A and 9A were the surviving test subjects. They had shown steady growth and the expected mental hardening that Dr. Inhaat had predicted, and were almost ready to be released to the fort. They were impassive- almost never speaking except for the grunts of pain that accompanied a dodge that failed; strong - bound and wrapped with masses of muscle all around their bodies that made them much taller and heftier than the average dwarf; agile - despite their huge frames they moved with the grace of the elves and a speed never seen among land creatures; and finally their blackened skin that suggested no fat deemed them perfect for fighting Those of the Deep and the unwing'd Dragons.

There had been many trials, blood, sweat and tears in the creation of this experiment. A mayor managed to find out what had been going on until Dr. Inhaat persuaded the baroness to mandate a slade object- the mayor could not comply and through Inhaat's needlings the baroness declared the mayor to be killed through hammering. One of Dr. Inhaat's aides could take the experiment no longer, and intended to leave and write a book of what he saw. Of course, that could not happen.

He had to be silenced; so Inhaat and her team convinced him to spend a day in the 'Cool-off chamber' - a self-therapy centre if any of Inhaat's team should feel pained that they may spend time there to calm down. It featured the latest in Dwarven Psychotherapy, such as platinum statues hauled halfway across the continent, the finest wine and food made by the fort's Legendary Cook, Urist Imik-Noriss. Not only that, but floors had been engraved by the finest engravers under the pretense of a new room for the notoriously cranky baroness, and finally a bed made by one who had been influenced by the gods themselves. Time spent in the Cool-Off chamber was considered necessary in their line of work.
One of the aides, as was said, was directed to spend time in the cool off chamber, and so of course he did. Afterwards, he came out feeling much better - but Inhaat assigned another aide to make sure he could only work on the experiment.

Finally, they were ready. Ten long years had passed. The remaining test subjects were completely ready to take up arms and defend the fortress as Blighted Soldiers. Immune to fire, imbued with holy strength, minds of steel and no soul, they could kill and kill and kill without tiring, all in the name of the fort.

The animal opponents were recaptured.
The magma mist chambers were sealed.
And finally, finally, the once-were-dwarves were released. Time for a practical test.

One by one, the newly adult Blighted Soldiers moved from their chambers into a specially designed arena. Inside was a goblin prisoner. He had been made very, very aware that his freedom depended on this fight. Inhaat had also given the prisoners their own armor and weapons, crafted from the dwarven steel.

After all, dwarves aren't cruel.

Subject 5A was the first to fully outfit himself. The gate was released, and 5A leapt onto the hapless prisoner, once a Mace Lord. 5A gutted him with his bare hands in a matter of half a second.

6A and 7B were initially hesitant to kill, instead preferring to maim. This was alright, in Inhaat's eyes. This meant that they would strike more fear into their opponents that survived in future, if any. 6A decided to end it by biting the goblin prisoner's head off, leaving it stuck in her teeth. 7B preferred to batter the dying opponent with his own armor- eschewing his own weapons he simply tore the goblin's armor off and beat him with it.

7A accidentally crushed the gate holding back the second test, and the two goblins, both Elite Lashers managed to knock him unconscious, but could not kill him.

Dr. Inhaat frowned. Perhaps 7A wasn't cut out for this life... but on closer inspection, Inhaat noticed the lashers tiring, until they simply keeled over from exhaustion. 7A stumbled to his feet, then put one hand through each lasher's skull.
Unorthodox way of fighting, but it worked. Perhaps 7A had a harder than normal skull.

8A and 9A fought together as a team, taking on four prisoners at once. They were unarmed.

However, they worked in tandem, which Dr. Inhaat found interesting. Given they had never seen another creature besides their animal opponent until this day, they could yet identify the other Blighted Soldiers. She surmised it was a good thing- if the Blighted Soldiers could identify one another then they wouldn't engage in costly friendly-fire after all, one of the great fears of hers.

And now; all had reached their final test- with great care and caution, involving a cage laced with the web of a gigantic spider, Dr. Inhaat had managed to oversee the capture of six Forgotten Beasts, all made of some variety of stone, from marble, to shale, to sandstone, to chalk.

All six soldiers, working alone with the exception of 8A and 9A defeated their rocky opponents in less than a minute, sustaining no injuries.

And finally, as a last dressing down before being sent to their sealed barracks, 8A and 9A were doused with a numbing liquid to prevent pain in combat, as a final experiment.


It now remained to be seen how the subjects would perform in an open warfare situation- but the key was, no civilians should see the blighted soldiers.


And perhaps, in future, Dr. Inhaat thought, the wounded and useless Blighted Soldiers could be induced to breed, creating a new race of super-hardy dwarves.

It had been a good experiment.
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