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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2130685 times)

Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6120 on: April 10, 2012, 05:26:26 am »

Made my dwarfs dump all worn clothing to save fps, forgot some were still wearing it, forgot to produce replacement clothing, get a message "Vikod Thobatir, miner, has gone berserk."    A rampaging legendary miner +5 with a steel pick... might as well give up.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Lolfail0009

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6121 on: April 10, 2012, 06:27:24 pm »

Made my dwarfs dump all worn clothing to save fps, forgot some were still wearing it, forgot to produce replacement clothing, get a message "Vikod Thobatir, miner, has gone berserk."    A rampaging legendary miner +5 with a steel pick... might as well give up.
It's impossible to give up in Dwarf Fortress. The closest you can get to giving up is leaving your fortress closed to everything, mass-produce food and wait for your dwarves to die out of old age.

What you described is a very FUN way of ending the game.

Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6122 on: April 10, 2012, 06:51:01 pm »

My give up was watching what was going to happen....


he was killed by one of the marksdwarf squad and everything resumes, but I lost one of my starting seven I realize now. Clothing has been made etc
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Sus

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6123 on: April 11, 2012, 07:52:46 am »

Made my dwarfs dump all worn clothing to save fps, forgot some were still wearing it, forgot to produce replacement clothing, get a message "Vikod Thobatir, miner, has gone berserk."    A rampaging legendary miner +5 with a steel pick... might as well give up.
It's impossible to give up in Dwarf Fortress. The closest you can get to giving up is leaving your fortress closed to everything, mass-produce food and wait for your dwarves to die out of old age.

What you described is a very FUN way of ending the game.

Sure is. Had me a berserk miner once.

So. Much. Blood.

a pool of Urist McMason's dwarf blood
a spattering of Urist McFarmer's dwarf blood

a pile of vomit
Urist Mc Mason's left lower arm
Urist McFarmer's mutilated corpse
Urist McCheeseMaker's lower front tooth

and as a piquant detail, stuck inside a fortification:
Urist McSheriff's left hand

*quiver*  :'(

It's amazing how much death and destruction one murder-crazy dwarf with a +bronze pick+ can cause.
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
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Telgin

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6124 on: April 11, 2012, 03:21:35 pm »

Been a while since I've had a face palm moment in a fort, but this one counts I think.  My first ever construction accident!

I've had problems with thieves (never any ambushes or sieges though :(), and they would harass my fishers.  I built an enclosed fishing pier which worked wonders, but when I went to reconstruct my wall, it left some fishing pier overhang I didn't need anymore.  One mass designate remove construction on the floor, and I was in for a little Fun.

I was actually watching as it unfolded.  "You know, this is going to cause-" "A section of the cavern has collapsed!"

Nobody died, amazingly enough, but two of my citizens had three or four broken limbs.  One nearly died to infection.  I think I need to give my doctor an upgrade to her little apartment, she's earned it.
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Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6125 on: April 11, 2012, 05:48:09 pm »

if I tried that anywhere near my entrance they'de be dead from breaking through about 9 z levels.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Spekktre

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6126 on: April 11, 2012, 06:17:10 pm »

when I was still trying to figure out the best methods for a reservoir I spent a huge amount of time making an aqueduct that spanned twisted it's way through my already large fort, making it's way under the hospital with a nice big area, it was a muddy area so I dug extra room to line it with constructed walls, constructed floors over the whole aqueduct and reservoir.

once all that was done I started the pump that would fill the whole thing only to notice that in the course of the aqueduct, one of the walls touches the wall of a stagnant lake....  my now awesome fort now had a huge stagnant reservoir and aqueduct (that I could have drained into the massive room I made for that directly below, but what would be the point)
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GenJeFT

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6127 on: April 11, 2012, 08:29:00 pm »

Making my first room of pain.

Everything broke out (somehow a wild elk bird killed a troll) and wreaked havoc in my fortress, waiting for tantrum spiral to begin.
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Eoganachta

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6128 on: April 12, 2012, 04:42:14 am »

Got spammed with the message "Urist McMiner cancels eat: dangerous terrain". So I zoom to the location and fine out that he's in the channels under the magma forges. He's on fire.
Acceptable losses I thought. Them my expedition leader thinks it's a great idea to open the door holding back the magma (maybe he heard the screams?), covering himself in the rock blood before he himself is set ablaze.
Funnily enough the magma forges were filled with smoke from the burning bodies. BBQ anyone?
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BastiBasti

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6129 on: April 12, 2012, 08:15:46 am »

Bins. Do you know what its like, having 31x31 stockpile not being enough? I do.
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floundericiousWA

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6130 on: April 12, 2012, 01:02:36 pm »


once all that was done I started the pump that would fill the whole thing only to notice that in the course of the aqueduct, one of the walls touches the wall of a stagnant lake....  my now awesome fort now had a huge stagnant reservoir and aqueduct (that I could have drained into the massive room I made for that directly below, but what would be the point)

oh god...this...sooooooooo aggravating.  I'm the reporter for bug 5232, dealing with the insane persistence and pervasiveness of stagnant water.

You're going to need a new cistern and a series of pumps in chambers carved directly out of virgin rock.  You should construct floors on the outlet squares and then build the pumps...make at least two pumps.  You *should* be able to get fresh water in a cistern if you have at least two pumps, but there are, sadly, no promises.  I have a four-pump stack and had the first pump flip flop into outputting stagnant water after I built a "keep tower caps from growing in my pump stack" floor.  Made me nearly soil myself at worry that I'd inadvertently poisoned my pump stack.
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rtg593

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6131 on: April 13, 2012, 01:11:06 am »

Hmmm... I wonder if constructed floors cause cave in dust? Let's build a 3x3 floor, supported by a support tied to a lever! Outside, of course, so it's safer. Constructs deconstruct on cave in, so I'll put the lever under the floor, falling rocks never hurt anyone!

"Urist McLeverpuller has been found dead."
"Urist cancels... Unconscious. " x40

Wait... Why is there a hole...

Dangit.
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Castamere

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6132 on: April 13, 2012, 03:10:22 am »

Well a not recent but happened in a 12 year fort that I ran in december before I suspened DF for the new release:

A cheesemaker that had his wife killed by a goring minotaur gets berserk in the middle of my barracks. With the main battle squad training in it. Equipped with adamantine weapons and steel clad. Let's just say that it lasted for about 0.00000002 miliseconds. His body was hauled off in 0.2 seconds by the hauler squad clearing out the elven entrails splattered training room.

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greycat

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6133 on: April 13, 2012, 03:46:20 pm »

My fortress was built near a river, with walls on the surface, protecting a single opening.  The western wall was right up close to the river, with just a wee bit of gap between them.

Pretty soon, I was ready to add an outer wall for additional protection.  I could either knock out some of the inner wall, such that the western inner wall would become the new outer wall; or I could build a whole new outer wall across the river, with the river flowing in between the inner and outer walls.

Decided to build a wall across the river.  I know a wall can be supported in this way, by the rest of the wall on the surface (which was already built), so I just needed a place for the dwarves to stand while putting the rest of the wall up.  So I built a bridge (literally b g) on the surface, over the river, next to where the rest of the wall would be put up.  Then I ordered the whole wall segment at once.

Now, a sensible creature would extend the existing wall one tile at a time.  A dwarf, on the other hand, would pick a part of the wall at random, and attempt to build that part, without concern for the rest of the wall.

Did you remember that a bridge does not support constructions?  Neither did I.

The mason came along with a stone, and built a piece of wall right over the river, with no support.  The stone then fell down, punched through the floor of the river, into the pasture below (nice deep sand layer).  Water followed, and did not stop....
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Garath

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #6134 on: April 13, 2012, 04:00:53 pm »

seriously, wow man that is one epic fail. worth a story. Btw, not epic in stupid but funny/amazing/wth?
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.
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