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[Koronii]

Dear Archers #1, 2, and 3,

WHEN I TELL YOU TO KILL THAT THIEVING GOBLIN I DO NOT MEAN RUN INSIDE THE FORTRESS, BECAUSE OF YOU HE GOT AWAY. YOU'RE LUCKY I DON;T ACTUALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Sincerely,

Your shoutY overseer

[Endiqua]

Dear starting seven dwarves, and Urist McPlanter in particular,

What the fuck are you guys doing? Only about three dwarves are occupied right now and those are the ones deforesting the map, digging a ditch, and building bridges.

So why, oh why, are the plump helmets rotting in the just-plowed fields?

If you guys starve and die this early on THEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN GETTING A DAMNED SLAB.

Sincerely,

je ne sais quoi

Dear JNSQ,

Hey, boss, did you perhaps tell us not to gather food in the (o)rders menu? 

Sincerely and all that,

Urist McPlanter

[Doughnut189]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dear starting seven dwarves, and Urist McPlanter in particular,

What the fuck are you guys doing? Only about three dwarves are occupied right now and those are the ones deforesting the map, digging a ditch, and building bridges.

So why, oh why, are the plump helmets rotting in the just-plowed fields?

If you guys starve and die this early on THEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN GETTING A DAMNED SLAB.

Sincerely,

je ne sais quoi

Dear JNSQ,

Hey, boss, did you perhaps tell us not to gather food in the (o)rders menu? 

Sincerely and all that,

Urist McPlanter

Dear Urist McUrist McPlanter,

No I did not.
However, since you seem to be harvesting the plump helmets now, and due to the migrant sorting system and clothes manufactory still being under construction, you will be allowed to go on with your tasks. I am watching you.

Sincerely,

jnsq

[Nyxalinth]

Dear crappy laptop,

Fuck you.  You cost me a fort today, asshole.  Because you decided to crash while I was playing DF, the game's coding sees this as a 'save scum'.  Which it wasn't.  We all know what save scumming can do, intentional or not.  Screw you, you stupid piece of jumk.  I'll be glad when I can afford that nice new desktop.

NOT amused

Me

[Reudh]

What does save scumming do anyway?

[imperium3]

Dear Archers #1, 2, and 3,

WHEN I TELL YOU TO KILL THAT THIEVING GOBLIN I DO NOT MEAN RUN INSIDE THE FORTRESS, BECAUSE OF YOU HE GOT AWAY. YOU'RE LUCKY I DON;T ACTUALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Sincerely,

Your shoutY overseer

this is why giant serrated blades are epic.
thief comes in, gets shredded, nothing, not even a 'Thief protect the horde' thing

Don't kobold thieves have [TRAPAVOID]? They've been waltzing through my traps without repercussion for ages (on the other hand that tag doesn't do very much against axedwarves carrying *steel axes*).

[Hitty40]

Dear crappy laptop,

Fuck you.  You cost me a fort today, asshole.  Because you decided to crash while I was playing DF, the game's coding sees this as a 'save scum'.  Which it wasn't.  We all know what save scumming can do, intentional or not.  Screw you, you stupid piece of jumk.  I'll be glad when I can afford that nice new desktop.

NOT amused

Me

Dear you,

Like I give a damn.

Crappy Laptop

[Akura]

  Dear former Militia Commander:
Please stop complaining that you cannot pick up your baby due to injuries. We know you've lost your right hand. And your baby is dead anyway. Seriously, stop pleading for your dead baby, it's making friends with distrubing everyone nearby...
...Did you just give birth? Okay, stop complaining about that baby too...
...and now you've died of dehydration. *sigh* Fine.


  Dear Haulers:
Please toss Mrs. McFormerCommander's corpse over the refuse cliff, alongside the partial skeleton of her first child.


  Dear Engravers:
Please engrave a slab for Mrs. McFormerCommander.


  Dear Mrs. McNewCommander:
Thank you for not bleating endlessly about not being able to hold your baby, unlike your predecessor. However, you probably should have kept a better eye on your baby. Otherwise, if we all live long enough, you'll have to face your child in battle, as he has been taken as a war slave as he was wandering outside the village wall.


  Dear everyone else:
  Look, I know everyone has lost friends lately, from battle, to injuries, to infections, to Mrs. McFormerCommander over there. But, that new meeting hall won't build itself. Get to it.


  Dear Goblins:
Seriously, a quadruple ambush? It's not like we have much of value, only tamed fluffly wamblers and captured fairies no one seems to want to adopt(despite modding to allow it).


  Dear everyone:
Please. Adopt a fairy today. Otherwise, I'll sell them to some elven kid who will probably use them as an instant-heal-on-death. And we don't want the elf to survive.

Dear Archers #1, 2, and 3,

WHEN I TELL YOU TO KILL THAT THIEVING GOBLIN I DO NOT MEAN RUN INSIDE THE FORTRESS, BECAUSE OF YOU HE GOT AWAY. YOU'RE LUCKY I DON;T ACTUALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Sincerely,

Your shoutY overseer

this is why giant serrated blades are epic.
thief comes in, gets shredded, nothing, not even a 'Thief protect the horde' thing

Don't kobold thieves have [TRAPAVOID]? They've been waltzing through my traps without repercussion for ages (on the other hand that tag doesn't do very much against axedwarves carrying *steel axes*).

They do, but goblin thieves do not.

[Nyxalinth]

Dear crappy laptop,

Fuck you.  You cost me a fort today, asshole.  Because you decided to crash while I was playing DF, the game's coding sees this as a 'save scum'.  Which it wasn't.  We all know what save scumming can do, intentional or not.  Screw you, you stupid piece of jumk.  I'll be glad when I can afford that nice new desktop.

NOT amused

Me

Dear you,

Like I give a damn.

Crappy Laptop

Exactly, and that's why you're crappy.  You'll give a damn when you become a !!laptop!! after I replace you

Dear person above who asked what save scumming does

I don't know the specifics, but it cn corrupt your save.  Which, of course, it did.

Me

[Doughnut189]

Exactly, and that's why you're crappy.  You'll give a damn when you become a !!laptop!! after I replace you

Dear person above who asked what save scumming does

I don't know the specifics, but it cn corrupt your save.  Which, of course, it did.

Me

Savescumming is frowned upon because the game is clearly meant to not be loaded, and for the player to live with the consequences of their actions. Savescumming is when one copies the save data from the game, and keeps it on hand in case something goes so horribly wrong that they want to load.

...

DEAR MIGRANTS,

You're really hurting our economy, and frankly I wish you would think of people other than yourselves for once.

Please stop going through the grates with the rest of the refuse water. How will we sell your clothes now?

With love,

jnsq

[Zyro]

Dear explorers and/or the RNG,

I know you can consider mountains as the "Teeth" of the planet, but,"The Teeth of Brushing".Really?

Confused,a minor servant of armok.

[krenshala]

Dear explorers and/or the RNG,

I know you can consider mountains as the "Teeth" of the planet, but,"The Teeth of Brushing".Really?

Confused,a minor servant of armok.

Confused,

Those are the giant stone Teeth of Brushing the sky!  Also, we have noticed certain civilizations find them useful for brushing off goblins, elves and even the occasional human.

Deputy Assistant Undersecretary for the Assistant Secretary to the Deputy Assistant of the Secretary for the Cartography Department of Armalright*


* Armok's younger, much weaker and geekier brother

[Hitty40]

Dear Landwhales,

Thank you for crushing the 4-goblin ambush before the military have gotten ready to fight. Sadly, that doesn't mean you can also kill my expedition leader/broker/bookkeeper in the process. Report to the Butchers for debriefing.

 - The Overseer

[Reudh]

To Baron Unicorn,
How is it that I was able to nominate you for a barony? You aren't even tamed and therefore part of my fort?

Though I look forward to your lack of mandates, I am confused. A glorified horse giving us orders?

-Reudh

[Necro910]

To Baron Unicorn,
How is it that I was able to nominate you for a barony? You aren't even tamed and therefore part of my fort?

Though I look forward to your lack of mandates, I am confused. A glorified horse giving us orders?

-Reudh

Spoiler (click to show/hide)