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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1501274 times)

Garath

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3165 on: March 27, 2012, 03:31:01 pm »

double posting happens sometimes when the forum is acting up too.

anyway, communist hunting is about 40 years late. Oligarchie (sp?) is the way to go.
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
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And then everyone melted.

tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3166 on: March 27, 2012, 04:01:56 pm »

Sorry, the double post is because i was posting from a cell phone.
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I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
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Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3167 on: March 27, 2012, 05:39:04 pm »

Sorry, the double post is because i was posting from a cell phone.

Ah. Understandable. and now, another note!

Dear Urist McDyingInjuredHunter: Perhaps picking a fight with a giant kangaroo was a touch stupid hmm?
And now you get to suffer from the stellar care of the fort's medical staff:Urist McBroker the imprmptu diagnostician, and Urist McWoodcutter the improvised suturer/wound dresser.

Sincerly,
your annoyed overseer.

Dear Urist McDoctor

Please patch up the expert hunter. I need him to train marksdorf infantry.

Sighned,
[SEE ABOVE]

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3168 on: March 27, 2012, 08:45:00 pm »

Quote
Ah. Understandable. and now, another note!

Dear Urist McDyingInjuredHunter: Perhaps picking a fight with a giant kangaroo was a touch stupid hmm?
And now you get to suffer from the stellar care of the fort's medical staff:Urist McBroker the imprmptu diagnostician, and Urist McWoodcutter the improvised suturer/wound dresser.

Sincerly,
your annoyed overseer.

Dear Urist McDoctor

Please patch up the expert hunter. I need him to train marksdorf infantry.

Sighned,
[SEE ABOVE]


Dear Overseer,


Well excuse me for trying to feed my fellow dwarf!


Signed, Urist McDyingInjuredHunter

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Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

wierd

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3169 on: March 27, 2012, 08:56:31 pm »

Dear urist mchunter,

While I, and all the other residents of our fine fortress appreciate how a slab of wild boar meat can greatly enhance the delights of a *plump helmet roast*, the plump helmets themselves are more than sufficient in their own right in keeping body and beard together.

Which brings us to exactly the problem at hand.  As the overseer I am responsible for keeping body and beard together in one piece.  Racing off into the dangers of the outside world for the sole benefit of a luxury and suffering serious injuries requiring emergency treatment are actions directly opposed to this goal.  I had hoped that you would understand why I wanted you to avoid it in the future.

Your loving overseer.
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Dawnofdarkness

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3170 on: March 27, 2012, 09:04:00 pm »

Ahem....

Attention 42 migrants that just arrived. It would be in your best interests to NOT jump off of the waterfall upon arriving.
The bridge to the other side of the river will be completed as soon as the carpenter returns from his individual combat drills. upon him finishing and building the bridge you could have crossed onto the other side and then crossed the second bridge leading INTO the fortress.

Signed,

One Pissed Off Overseer.
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mikelon

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3171 on: March 27, 2012, 09:51:09 pm »

Dear Migrants

We find it hilarious how you always arive right behind the stream on the left side of the map

We find it doubly hilarious how you never notice that there are roughly 200 zombies stranded there with you, cant you see them? you should be able to as they litter every available space on the river bank

Our markdwarves appreciate the live target practice
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Olith McHuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3172 on: March 27, 2012, 10:37:30 pm »

Dear 50 migrants,

Why did you decide that the best path to take from the mountain homes was the path that took you through the evil biome?

Signed, the Overseer who is only going to bury you once you get back up and try to walk through the barracks. Shouldn't take long.


Dear totally not vampire migrant,

Judging by the fact that everyone else is still running away in terror from zombies that are too slow to catch them, and judging by the fact that your pants are dry, I'm guessing that you are a vampire. Welcome to the ranks of the Eternal Pump Operators!
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tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3173 on: March 27, 2012, 10:42:23 pm »

Dear Olith McDirtyHumanBastard, thank you for the promotion. I will personally see to it that your room is constantly supplied with magma. Sincerely, Urist McTotallyNotAVampire.
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Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Greiger

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3174 on: March 27, 2012, 10:44:31 pm »

To Vampires of Watergates



Let's see you figure that one out.  P.S.  The "D"s are the folks looking out for you.

The administration.
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Disclaimer: Not responsible for dwarven deaths from the use or misuse of this post.
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Urist McBeanie

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3175 on: March 28, 2012, 12:08:59 am »

Dear UristMcEverybody,

Please do not all charge outside to get a drink of water, rather than drinking our glorious supply of plump helmet wine, in the middle of a goblin siege.
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Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3176 on: March 28, 2012, 12:46:07 am »

Dear UristMcEverybody,

Please do not all charge outside to get a drink of water, rather than drinking our glorious supply of plump helmet wine, in the middle of a goblin siege.

Dear Overseer

We're sick of wine. Even water sound refreshing after a year of only that crap.

From,
Everyone.

Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3177 on: March 28, 2012, 12:53:32 am »

Dear Crafters,

They are called workshops for a reason. Now quit lounging about and get to it, before I buy me a «­­☼silver scourge☼» from the caravan!

- Your Increasingly Impatient Overseer

P.S. the same goes double for you useless, lazy hauling and meat industry bums!
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jaxy15

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3178 on: March 28, 2012, 05:23:53 am »

Dear wild naked mole dogs,

Please, walk around the cage traps. We already have too many of you.

Sincerely, the overseer.
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Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3179 on: March 28, 2012, 03:43:27 pm »

Dear wild naked mole dogs,

Please, walk around the cage traps. We already have too many of you.

Sincerely, the overseer.

-Barely intelligible words that seem to be gnawed into the rock found with a moledog-

DaEr OvveRSEEar

ForT Wahrm. Caves cOlD. WAnT WaHrm.

MollDOgS
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