Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

I'd like to become a professional writer in the next decade.

7 (29.2%)

Less than videogames.

6 (25%)

I am a professional writer.

3 (12.5%)

More than my health.

2 (8.3%)

I'm not sure.

5 (20.8%)

More than videogames.

0 (0%)

Not at all.

1 (4.2%)

Total Members Voted: 24

Voting closed: April 23, 2012, 11:42:36 pm

[Supermikhail]

Aww... That's not how illustration works. To make a character vivid, you don't need to describe every button on his suspenders.

...3 hours later. I hate you. Can't you see I'm an easily tempted person?

So, my thought process: New Athens - let's give him a Greek face. His cyborg suit is not visibly apparent - like normal clothes. But electronics always working - processes transpire on the surface like decoration.
I guess that would not be the regular state of the suit, though. Too noticeable. That might be the battle state - hence a lot of activity in critical zones.

About chapters. Well, as far as I can figure (based on example of some novel writing programs), what you post are scenes, not chapters. Well, because sets don't change, mostly. And by the size - for me a comfortable size for a chapter would be 5-10,000 words. Or by content - there's one action per post the way you do it, and a chapter is supposed to have a bit more content.

That pronunciation makes sense and at the same time is weird. Humans would probably transcribe aliens' words, but this doesn't look very much like transcription. Well, what can you do with fantasy writers.

Edited with a properly scanned version.

[Talanic]

Very, very cool.  You nailed several concepts quite well - including calling it a cyborg suit, as doing so changed a little about how I think of his suit.  I suspect he's doing more engineering than combat in that picture - otherwise it would be covering his head as well.  But yes, active zones should appear as the suit processes his requests.  My only other note is that I don't usually envision seams for gloves or boots - seams only exist when he's going to take something off.

My fiancee is particularly amused by the 'codpiece' area.  Everyone who's seen it so far thinks the face is spot-on. 

Also, you've just produced the very first illustration of any of my characters.  My first fanart!?  Sweet.

If you like, sign into http://www.treeofworlds.net/irc/erfworld.html - a number of others in there read my stories as well, and one of them (Telva) is inclined to clean up your drawing, reducing scanner glare, etc.  With your permission, of course.

[Supermikhail]

You're welcome. But it's actually not scanner glare, it's photocamera glare, as the image was just to illustrate my point. I guess I should scan it properly, now that it's official. And I guess now Bay12 Writers Guild takes illustration requests. Also, dwagons and gwiffons ?

[lordnincompoop]

I might do a few simple character illustrations.

Just need a subject and a description.

[Talanic]

Sorry, was away all day.  The chat room I linked to is nominally dedicated to the webcomic, Erfworld, by Rob Balder.  Some of the creatures there have very cutesy names, as if they were pronounced by a small child. 

Rob is actually the one who advised me to serialize my novel.  He's been quite the support.

Also, does this mean that the Engravers' Guild will have to start taking story requests to keep up?

[Supermikhail]

I scanned my Derek impression properly, and now, I guess, you can even do stuff with it, since it's pretty high res. Which is pretty useless as I chose to draw the image undeservingly small. Which, in the end, means that this fine face is probably going to be hard to replicate, as on such small scale, in drawing it some quantum physics were involved.

So, yeah, the Engravers Guild doesn't really keep up with modern trends... I mean, I don't go to the Engravers Guild often, so if you, for some reason, want me specifically to make an illustration, you should make a request here.

Oh, IRC boings my brains. I don't think I'll be visiting that Erf chat often, although there seems to be a pretty nice crowd. And I don't dig the comic particularly, but Rob's dedication seems pretty amazing.

Quick edit. lordnincompoop, did you learn nothing from my example? You don't have a description. You have a stretch of text, with action and dialogue, and your imagination.

[Talanic]

I would welcome any kind of artwork to spruce up my blog, and/or use in flyers that my employer has agreed to send out to customers, eventually.  Drawings related to the story, of course, would be preferred. 

[MrWiggles]

I've been working on a high action martial arts comic, titled Legacy Awry.

Its center on three heros, Kyle/Proton man, Zak, and Rush/Ryan. We get to see the affects of heroism on the characters both physical and mental. They fight off an alien invasion, ninjas, giant mekas, a demon and finally themselves. As the time spent defending the world has changed each them dramatically enough where they can't let each other continue to operate seeing each others methods to be detrimental.

One of them looses a hand, another becomes blind. Two of them retire from hero'ing and one of them dies.

This is the Overview Outline of the story;

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dfb9vxvt_32f838g4f2

This is the first saga outline;

 http://docs.google.com/View?id=dfb9vxvt_34cr9z3kgz

In this outline, I've started to break up into its individual issues, and its 90% done.

[Supermikhail]

Talanic: Too bad not a lot has happened in your story until now! That is, not a lot to draw, except hiking couples, party camping tents and dark dungeons. I have thought about Mycah visage, but I'm not very confident in my female drawing skills. And as long as it's about females, I don't think I'm prepared to narrate your book - my "untamed femme fatale" voice is kind of lacking. I'd much prefer to have a real female do her part, but I have no suitable candidates among my acquaintances (most girls I know don't speak English very well, to say the least).

MrWiggles, I remember you! And like the last time, my appreciation of your idea is hindered by your spelling. Also, for formatting purposes I recommend Celtx. They've got a nice comic template, which would help readability greatly. One more issue I've got is I can't quite figure out what genre your story is supposed to be. Well, you say it's high action, but then it's titled Legacy Awry, and you list adversaries of your heroes that I can but think were driven by humor.

[MrWiggles]

The spelling for the outline, should be excellent. As our the scripts. Please don't confuse these informal post for formal writing.

The chief inspiration is Dragonball and DBZ, which is rift with subtle humor  (well the humor elements got subtle as Toriyama went into Z.)

The name Proton Man, is a bit silly. However, the reason for his super hero persona is not. As we discover during Kyle backstory exposition during the Invasion Saga, we discover that even though Kyle has impressive martial prowess, he doesn't do anything with it, except support himself and his long term girl friend, Maxine, through underground pit fighting. She wanted Kyle to do something more productive with his ability, to try his hand at vigilantism. Kyle really balks at the idea, until she is beaten to near death trying to stop a mugging. This ended their relationship. As they both blamed Kyle for her injuries. Kyle was going to propose to her that night, and she was pregger with their child. Though Kyle didn't know this. In an act of penitence for his inaction, he starts to wear the ill fitting home made costume. Which Kyle GF put together from thrift stores and glitter glue. The name Proton Man, was something thought up on the spot under stress. And Kyle, superhero persona has been stuck with it ever since.

Silly name, but not really a silly background.

They do get back together in five or so years. And Maxzine and Kyle daughter is one of the protagonist of Legacy sequel, if it ever gets that far. Along with Zak's daughter. Rush, doesn't get a kid though. No nookie for him.

Zak, is just a nickname. Alexander Zakia Tanner.  Though the name means more or less; Man's Pure Defender. Alexander mean Man's Defender, and Zakia means pure. Tanner, beside the job title, doesn't have any particular meaning for the name.

Ryan is just an average name really. Nothing going on there. Rush, his more popular moniker is his hacker handle. There are some personality ties with it as well.

The Xantos villain, Andrew Tenelby. He is either the direct or indirect cause of every saga except two. Andrew simply means man, meaning that man is the overall villain of the story. Tenelby doens't have any significant etymology that I'm aware of. I picked it because, Mr. Tenelby sounds unassuming, and none threatening.

Xethorian and Tirn, are the two most prominent aliens, and therefore get exotic names.

Xethorian, and Tirn being a part of the evil alien race, are mostly justified in their actions from their POV. Their species uses a caste system, and Xethorian is the second highest tier. More or less ruling nobility, though his family is in decline. Tirn is a cousin of his, but of a lower caste. In order for the family, and Xeth to gain standing with his social peers is to gain a new domain. How this is dome with their race, is through self-funding and getting pledges to take over another planet. Which would then become a city state to the empire overall. 

As for the aimed Genre of the piece it is; Science Fantasy High Action Martial Art drama. It just happens to have comedic elements thrown in.

But yea, most stories could use comic elements. Comedic elements serve well to break and deflate tension happening during scenes, and allows the audience to relax and for the tension to rebuild again.

I am using Celtx, though it doesnt have an outline feature that I particularly like. The formating for comic books within it, is a great time saver.

[Supermikhail]

You do realise that what you've just posted is mostly incoherent rambling? Also, I know that relying on your favourite anime is rad, but I don't care for Dragonball, and considering the activity in your previous thread, most other people don't either (or at least they don't care for derivatives). You seem to want to attract attention to your project so why don't you pay attention to your informal writing and do a coherent summary, or something. Yeah, you've got a lot of characters, but that doesn't do much beyond confusing the reader. Also, how many comics have you participated in until now? You are aiming at a pretty big project which you shouldn't attempt before you've got some experience under your belt.

[Talanic]

Talanic: Too bad not a lot has happened in your story until now! That is, not a lot to draw, except hiking couples, party camping tents and dark dungeons. I have thought about Mycah visage, but I'm not very confident in my female drawing skills. And as long as it's about females, I don't think I'm prepared to narrate your book - my "untamed femme fatale" voice is kind of lacking. I'd much prefer to have a real female do her part, but I have no suitable candidates among my acquaintances (most girls I know don't speak English very well, to say the least).

Yeah, I get what you mean.  I think the next scene might be sketch-worthy, though...you'll know what I mean. 

Although, even if it is sketch-worthy, it won't really be indicative of the rest of the book. 

[Supermikhail]

Talanic: Too bad not a lot has happened in your story until now! That is, not a lot to draw, except hiking couples, party camping tents and dark dungeons. I have thought about Mycah visage, but I'm not very confident in my female drawing skills. And as long as it's about females, I don't think I'm prepared to narrate your book - my "untamed femme fatale" voice is kind of lacking. I'd much prefer to have a real female do her part, but I have no suitable candidates among my acquaintances (most girls I know don't speak English very well, to say the least).

Yeah, I get what you mean.  I think the next scene might be sketch-worthy, though...you'll know what I mean. 

Although, even if it is sketch-worthy, it won't really be indicative of the rest of the book.

I've just had a nap and had to go reread the last chapter because I couldn't remember what it was about - oh yeah, something silly. Man, you really should have given that ice more attention. I don't know, description, or suspense-wise. And I hope you can feel a little about the situation with short chapters. By the way, I've read that for something to go into long-term memory, you have to first keep it in short-term memory for at least 20 minutes. Guess how long it took me to read last chapter? Well, I don't know either, but Calculator tells me around 3 minutes. And you didn't finish on a cliff-hanger, so I didn't have much emotional incentive to keep thinking about it.

...Erm. I feel that I've run this thing with length into the ground to the point of compulsion... but a man has to criticise something, right?

[Talanic]

I get what you mean, though.  I just spent about ten hours over the last four days reading Brandon Sanderson's The Way of Kings.  It's stuck in my mind - although most of the chapters were between four and eight pages long.  That's short, but still close to twice as long as mine average.

You complain about it because it bothers you and lessens your immersion.  I need to take that seriously.  I'm going to do what I can. 

[Supermikhail]

I think at this point a less traumatising way to do it would be to post several chapters instead of just one at once.