Every so often this game writes itself.
Pisskop has an empire, the baltic all the way to Rus all the way to crimea.
Pisskop is attacked by the Byzantines over (currently) worthless Hungarian land.
They beat him, and in revenge he dows them while a caliph who controls egypt to Armenia does.
We both winzors, mespotomia falls to the muzzies.
Pope Popius craps himself, declares open season on OP holy orders, and crusades for a chunk of france, like 2 counties.
The caliph bitchslaps france so hard they somehow end up with the kingdom of brittany.
I take some of saxony from the christain denmark.
France allies with saxony and they lose.
fast foreward to me dowing several pagans on my east at once, for convenience and expedience.
France dows me, we are about even, with them dragging in lombardy. Denmark is viking again.
In combat my emperor is maimed, he dies a month later, immediately after suing for peace and losing the reformed pagan church of mine declares vengeance.
For a moment I actually loved the game. The narrative it wrote was great. I was a dick to france, emperor frenchie has the most douchy avatar pic and makes me eat it.
but best of all is that everyone is sympathetic to the 5yr old now, daddy was a hero and yadda yadda