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Author Topic: Roll to twitch turn 15: What are we gonna do tonight, brain?  (Read 26091 times)

Whisperling

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #60 on: June 30, 2016, 09:20:36 pm »

Dance a jig to celebrate your resumed existence.
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ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #61 on: June 30, 2016, 09:22:07 pm »

NEXT TURN INCOMING!

Before you can do anything, you need to take care of a few meta-ish actions.

count actions of post after next as a 6
Explain the damn magic system
Automatically roll 1 on the next five actions.

[6]
The actions of the post after next will be counted as sevens! Wait, what? That caused an integer overload! Now they're all ones!
[5]
You handily explain the magic system!
"Magic," as in, the percentage value, is a resource used to cast standard spells. Fireballs, thunder, poison mist, summoning, etc. all rely on magic. Manna is similar to chi energy from dragon ball, and can be used for pseudo-magical effects (called focused powers) which generally include strengthening yourself, launching blasts of manna, channeling inner strength, self-healing, etc. (although magic can be used for that last one) Life can be sacrificed to cast blood magic, which is powerful and can do just about anything, but drains life. Also, you have to outright state that something is blood magic. Mantra are a special magical technique which require no life, magic or manna to cast, and you only have to say the magic words and hope it works. They tend to backfire on anything but a 4 or 5, and may not really work on a 4, and even with a 5 they can be quite weak!
[5]
(damn. There's no way I can twist that the wrong way.)
Your next 5 actions will be automatic 1's!

Allow ironsnake345 To Tell you what to do.
Avoid Harming ironsnake345.
Do NOT Go Genocide Route On Hell.
Do NOT Gain Meta Powers
Do NOT Kick ironsnake345 345 times.
[auto 1]
That fool whose account you have hacked will never tell you what to do, and you'll never listen! Still, everything you do turns out how it turns out. Nobody ever told you to blow yourself up!
[auto 1]
You decide to send ironsnake a little "care package," and drop a tiny shoggoth into a box and send it his way. That'll be fun!
[auto 1]
The spirit of a dead and exquisitely evil child possesses you! You are filled with life, determination, and bloodlust! Time to wreck some ASS!!! (full heal. Lucky you!)
[auto 1]
You gain the meta power to see opponent's life, magic, manna, and other relevant stats!
[autoooo0000ooonnnee33339310oiwjslowksfo]
Determined to fail at your attempt NOT to kick ironsnake, you shatter four walls of reality streaking straight towards him, but there is a fifth which won't even budge! No matter how hard you strike, you cannot pass the fifth wall and assault ironsnake! It's as though the wall is made of the forum itself!
You're not sure what glitched out the roll, but that's a scary thought. What if other rolls suddenly glitch out on you?


Troll your creator by allowing yourself to post one action which will ALWAYS succeed each turn, until the end of the game.
Explode all 1s and 6s into another roll determining just how bad/good things go for the rest of the turn.

[auto 7==>1]
You decide not to do any trolling, and give your creator a pat on the back from beyond the fifth wall. Or perhaps it's just the edge of the fourth wall? Whatever.
[auto 7==>1]
You implode all 1s and 6s into absolute, unshakable epic fails and overshots respectively, which no roll will affect how much it exceeds or undershoots!
Right then, back to business!

Explode trees by screaming at them
You would do that, but you've already exploded all the trees! What part of thermonuclear did you not get when you posted that action before the GM wrote that word in?

Keep your guard up! Carelessness will find no clemency in this place!
Oh, good idea!
[5]
You mentally prepare yourself as best you can, with your guard in place and you're ready to roll! Nothing could surprise you now! (this will have an effect on the outcome of future actions)

start exploring!
[4]
You begin exploring the dungeon, dodge a trap, and encounter a guarded treasure chest! You are now in combat with a horned demon.

roll a 6-sided die in order to determine how successful your entire next turn will be.
[3]
You throw a die and intone a mantra of randomness! The mantra partially fails, and the first posted action of the next turn will match its roll.
[first action posted to go in the next turn will be an automatic 4]
(This has already been posted by a certain poshguinfish. Yay, autoroll dominoes!)

Order (nicely) our horrors to defend us from our (Jimmy and us twitch curse voices) enemies (that aren't ourselves or the twitch curse (unless some of the horrors are mind-controlled into trying to harm us or otherwise become our enemies; they can be attacked)).
[1]
You command the horrors as rudely as possible, and they tell you to F*** off! They were already summoned as obedient, so they would've done that anyway probably, but now they're not so happy with you!

Dance a jig to celebrate your resumed existence.
[3]
You're quite happy to still exist, but you decide against the jig. There's a demon in the room, after all!

The spirit of the evil child whispers something to you!
Heh heh heh. Look at this pitiful thing. It thinks it can hurt you. How cute. Make sure there's nothing left to bury!

Life:100%. Magic:35%. Manna:80% Inventory: pants, sword, Buffalo-drawn cart, fake arms, laptop. Companions: obedient werefrog, water buffalo, pile of semi-obedient (but passive-aggressively angry) eldritch horrors, spirit of an evil child. Location: Hell fortress, horned demon room
You are in combat with a horned demon.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 12:20:49 am by ironsnake345 »
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I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #62 on: June 30, 2016, 10:49:10 pm »

Make all rolls 5s.
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.
Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #63 on: July 01, 2016, 06:46:09 am »

Lure some fast breeding enemies so that I can scum for exp (and therefore levels) and items and increase my score
« Last Edit: July 02, 2016, 02:58:36 am by Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER »
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Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #64 on: July 01, 2016, 07:42:52 am »

(Problem: your first action and your last action should overlap, therefore reducing crazyabe's rolls to 1 a second time due to his post coming before mine. Additionally, that means you will have to do my section of the turn over again, because logics.)
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 07:44:35 am by Dustan Hache »
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #65 on: July 01, 2016, 02:08:15 pm »

(Actually, way before I made that part of the turn, I realized that those actions were sort of paradoxical, so I changed the first from "next posted action" to "actions of post after next" which were posted after the five actions of crazyabe. That doesn't overlap.)
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 02:10:16 pm by ironsnake345 »
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I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
Are my memes dank enough for you?
Thanks to the internet-cromancer, my internet has been revived. I'm back, baby!

Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #66 on: July 01, 2016, 02:25:51 pm »

(Actually, way before I made that part of the turn, I realized that those actions were sort of paradoxical, so I changed the first from "next posted action" to "actions of post after next" which were posted after the five actions of crazyabe. That doesn't overlap.)
(No takebacks, no edits to actions after turn post. gimme my proper rolls!)
Logged
I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #67 on: July 01, 2016, 03:19:00 pm »

(Actually, way before I made that part of the turn, I realized that those actions were sort of paradoxical, so I changed the first from "next posted action" to "actions of post after next" which were posted after the five actions of crazyabe. That doesn't overlap.)
(No takebacks, no edits to actions after turn post. gimme my proper rolls!)
(This didn't happen after anything. One of the first things I did after posting that action was make it non-paradoxical!)
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I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
Are my memes dank enough for you?
Thanks to the internet-cromancer, my internet has been revived. I'm back, baby!

ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: The GM is a troll
« Reply #68 on: July 01, 2016, 03:24:41 pm »

(And also, that rewrite happened before "don't let ironsnake345 tell you what to do" came into effect, so I still had the power of retcon.)
« Last Edit: July 01, 2016, 03:39:02 pm by ironsnake345 »
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I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
Are my memes dank enough for you?
Thanks to the internet-cromancer, my internet has been revived. I'm back, baby!

Dustan Hache

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #69 on: July 01, 2016, 03:45:56 pm »

(Fine. you will pay for this, I swear ittt...! *defeated... Or are they?*)

Be Chaotic bloodmage.
Chaotic bloodmage:

Cast "Summon forumites" a meta destroying blood ritual.
Cast "Sustained Regenerate", A focused power that lasts for 3 turns, healing the user.
Cast "Summon Protagonist" A Blood ritual that requires sacrificing something from outside of the local meta, such as something from beyond the forth wall.
Rest and have tea for a moment
Turn the next posters rolls into 3s.

Logged
I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #70 on: July 01, 2016, 09:03:32 pm »

(Fine. you will pay for this, I swear ittt...! *defeated... Or are they?*)

Be Chaotic bloodmage.
Chaotic bloodmage:

Cast "Summon forumites" a meta destroying blood ritual.
Cast "Sustained Regenerate", A focused power that lasts for 3 turns, healing the user.
Cast "Summon Protagonist" A Blood ritual that requires sacrificing something from outside of the local meta, such as something from beyond the forth wall.
Rest and have tea for a moment
Turn the next posters rolls into 3s.

(And you are sacrificing what?)
(If you're sacrificing something within your own home, pics or it didn't happen.)
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I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
Are my memes dank enough for you?
Thanks to the internet-cromancer, my internet has been revived. I'm back, baby!

griffinpup

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #71 on: July 01, 2016, 11:38:37 pm »

Ride the warefrog and EXPlORE!  We're on an adventure
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ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #72 on: July 02, 2016, 12:25:15 am »

Turn finished!
« Last Edit: July 06, 2016, 12:05:32 am by ironsnake345 »
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I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
Are my memes dank enough for you?
Thanks to the internet-cromancer, my internet has been revived. I'm back, baby!

Poohbah

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #73 on: July 04, 2016, 09:18:00 pm »

Projectile vomit acid (because stuff happens)
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ironsnake345

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Re: Roll to twitch: a first-time RTD
« Reply #74 on: July 06, 2016, 12:52:56 am »

INCOMING TURN!!!

Make all rolls 5s.
[auto 4]
You invoke the random number gods using a mantra of controlling the random outcome, but you misword it slightly! All actions this turn will be 5's.

Lure some fast breeding enemies so that I can scum for exp (and therefore levels) and items and increase my score
[auto 5]
You increase the force of your presence using a focused power and taunt into the darkness! Suddenly, out pops a cancerous demon! Cancerous demons are fierce little buggers which are small and non-threatening, not much deadlier than a crundle, but they can divide into two cancerous demons very quickly, and then each new cancerous demon will quickly divide into another two cancerous demons! If you're not able to kill them all quickly, you'll be quickly overrun, but if you can survive being overrun, who knows what kind of treasures the little loot spiders will drop!

Be Chaotic bloodmage.
Chaotic bloodmage:

Cast "Summon forumites" a meta destroying blood ritual.
Cast "Sustained Regenerate", A focused power that lasts for 3 turns, healing the user.
Cast "Summon Protagonist" A Blood ritual that requires sacrificing something from outside of the local meta, such as something from beyond the forth wall.
Rest and have tea for a moment
Turn the next posters rolls into 3s.

You are now the chaotic bloodmage, a being created solely to punish the gods by tearing their avatars asunder through ingenious manipulation of the laws of the meta!
[auto 5]
The local meta is torn asunder, and a portal forms linking you to the dark pits of the bay12 forums!
You are now maimed.
The first three people to post who have a character in a forum game on the bay12 forums, with a link to their character, will have their characters inserted into this game to fight little Jimmy. They will have the exclusive right to control their characters.
[auto 5]
You focus your manna, and are immediately filled with relief as your body's natural regeneration overclocks and your injuries heal at a fantastic rate!
You are now wounded.
Your Manna is at 60%
[auto 5]
Across the multiverse, a young man's dinner vanishes from reality, never to be eaten by him that night! Meanwhile, your injuries grow nigh-unbearable, but the ritual seems to be working! A hole is torn in reality, through which a small child is being pulled! Come to daddy, little Jimmy!
You are now crippled.
[auto 5]
While that business is going off, you decide to have a relaxing break and prepare for the upcoming battle. Your relaxation works wonders for your blood magic wounds, and the warmth of the tea energizes you. You feel great!
You are now injured.
Your Manna is at 80%
The chaotic bloodmage resists the twitch curse! No more actions can be taken! You are now little Jimmy again.

Ride the warefrog and EXPlORE!  We're on an adventure
[auto 5]
You mount your werefrog companion and tear about the room, thrashing the horned demon but leaving the cancerous demon completely unharmed! The horned demon's health drops, you can see down to 50% before you break the bonds of the room and begin bounding about the fort atop your mighty steed, trampling demon after demon as the horrors follow at a full sprint!

Projectile vomit acid (because stuff happens)
[auto 5]
You pound your chest, performing a focused power to alter your body's chemistry for a moment, and cleanly projectile vomit a horribly dangerous stream of acid upon a pile of unfortunate demons! The acid quickly melts them down to nearly nothing, leaving their treasure hoard unguarded and yours for the taking! Adventuring is easy!
The child's spirit is quite pleased.


Suddenly, a rift in time and space opens in front of you and you are helplessly sucked through! After a minute of struggling, you lose your grip on this reality and are pulled through to an entirely new meta! Your companions, being so loyal, jump through after you! Not the water buffalo, though. It has no idea what's going on. Its cart, being attached, also stays behind. You and your remaining companions (werefrog, pile of horrors, evil child's spirit) find yourselves standing in the middle of a dungeon, in a room constructed of a smoothed, blood-red stone. In the room with you stands the chaotic bloodmage, apparently having just finished some blood magic, as well as a portal leading somewhere you could never hope to comprehend!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!! DESTROY THIS INTERLOPER, BOY!!! SHOW HIM YOUR WRATH!!!

Life:100%. Magic:35%. Manna:50% Inventory: pants, sword, fake arms, laptop. Companions: obedient werefrog, pile of mostly obedient eldritch horrors, spirit of an evil child. Location: bloodmage's dungeon
You are in combat with the chaotic bloodmage
Logged
I think I just retroactively murdered a less lucky version of myself from a parallel universe. Also do I still have a baguette?
Are my memes dank enough for you?
Thanks to the internet-cromancer, my internet has been revived. I'm back, baby!
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