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[Scruffy]

This is a boffer pickaxe. All craftdorfship is of the dorfies quality. It is studded with plastic beads and encicled with bands of plastic plumhelmet wrappings. This object menaces with spikes of styrofoam. On the item is an image of a dwarf and a kobold. The dwarf is encased in tranluscend plastic. The Kobold is laughing. The dwarf is suffocating. This relates to the creating of Twinklefoam the vacuumpacked dwarf in the year 143.

WWUD if he invented asbestos?

[gtaguy]

Eat it to gain its fireproof powers.

WWUD if he found out that they had embarked thirteen Zlevels above ground?

[klefenz]

Make a masterfully designed image of a splatter on the ground in dwarf blood. The arwork relates to the death of the dwarf Urist McDwarf by falling in the dwarven fortress Heightmurdered on the early spring of 1051.

WWUD if the mayor mandated a dry law?

[Lagslayer]

Establish a speakeasy at the end of a long-forgotten mining tunnel. Smuggle in booze while the mayor is preoccupied with the diplomat.

WWUD if the fortress guard demanded a cut of the profits to keep quiet?

[blazing glory]

Make a masterfully designed image of a splatter on the ground in dwarf blood. The arwork relates to the death of the dwarf Urist McDwarf by falling in the dwarven fortress Heightmurdered on the early spring of 1051.

WWUD if the mayor mandated a dry law?

Mayor cancels mandate dry law:interrupted by mob of angry urists

WWUD if the queen used to be a cheese maker?

[blazing glory]

Establish a speakeasy at the end of a long-forgotten mining tunnel. Smuggle in booze while the mayor is preoccupied with the diplomat.

WWUD if the fortress guard demanded a cut of the profits to keep quiet?

Take the guards socks and refuse to give them back until he keeps quiet without a cut of the profits

WWUD if socks soaked with beer rained from the heavens?

[kibaseviltwin]

he would pronptly have a Fey Mood and end up creation a artifact shirt with an image depicting a kitten slapping the head off a dragon.


WWUD if he found a unclaimed sock guarded by several Giant Eagles and Tigers

[Eric Blank]

Claim the sock in his name, spam the overseer because he's forbidden from entering the area to retrieve his prized sock.

WWUD if the overseer banned him from the half of the booze stockpile with all the good beer on it?

[Baffler]

Drink the good ale instead.

WWUD if microcline boulders became an immensely valuable trade good?

[blazing glory]

Drink the good ale instead.

WWUD if microcline boulders became an immensely valuable trade good?

Urist cancel mine blue metal:mining blue rock

WWUD if his child was captured by a goblin?

[klefenz]

Complaint about it all day instead of, you know, going in a badass quest to rescue him, or at least asking some adventurer to do it.

WWUD if cirrhosis was implemented in DF?

[Lagslayer]

Keep drinking. Best case scenario, the doctor removes the vestigial organ. Worst case scenario, he gets misdiagnosed, but he doesn't have to suffer the slow FPS death.

WWUD with meta knowledge about DF?

[IronTomato]

Keep drinking. Best case scenario, the doctor removes the vestigial organ. Worst case scenario, he gets misdiagnosed, but he doesn't have to suffer the slow FPS death.

WWUD with meta knowledge about DF?

Turn off temperature, swim in magma.

WWUD if he could spawn anything?

[klefenz]

Spawn a forgotten beast in the shape of a giant cat made of beer, surrounded with a mist of rum and a bite that injects vodka into the  bloodstream.

WWUD if the elves, angry from all the tree slaughter made the brewable plants to give putrid goo instead of booze?

[Scruffy]

Urist would ask "what are plants" and go back to brewing his fungi

WWUD if underground crops required the foul surface thing called "sunlight"