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Author Topic: You are a Suburban Supervillain  (Read 59835 times)

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #30 on: October 02, 2012, 08:00:19 pm »

Actual armor, attempt to create a homemade version of SWAT armor (Of evil.)
Remove "of evil" and replace with "in bright, cheery colors." I've read the Evil Overlord List, in- and out-of-character.
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LordBucket

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #31 on: October 02, 2012, 08:15:26 pm »

Sitting down to the kitchen table, you begin sketching out costume ideas. Cape? No, no cape. How about wings? Yeah, great big, evil looking demon wings! What about an emblem? Hmm. Superman wears an "S" on his chest. What would be scary...oh! "S" for scary! No, no...people wouldn't get it. How about an inverted pentagrm?



Quote
no garish colors or billowing capes or stuff.

Hmm. The neon green doesn't quite scream "Supervillian!" Plus, those wings looks kind of complicated to build, and it's been a few years since you've done any costuming work. Really it was just that one time at Anime Expo and...you don't want to think about that. Ok, so a few revisions are in order. How about something sexy? Yeah! Like...an evil Chip'n Dales dancer?



Hmm. Sadly, you don't think you have the physique to pull that off convincingly.

Quote
"in bright, cheery colors." I've read the Evil Overlord List, in- and out-of-character.

Quote
Something practical... maybe a T-shirt and sweatpants in, say, a golden color (to throw enemies off)
with some sort of evil logo thing on the costume?

Yeah, wouldn't want to be too obvious.



Now your'e getting somewhere. Still, it feels like it's missing something.

Quote
a weapon

a mask

Hmm. Ninja mask would be too obvious. How about one of those ninja masks from Mortal Kombat? Yeah, that could work. You rummage through the garage looking for weapons, but have a difficult time finding anything suitable. Steak knife? No. Toilet plunger? No. Baseball bat? Hmm, that would work...but eventually you settle on a hammer. It will do for now.

At last, after hours of work, you finally gaze upon your masterpiece.



You: "Hey, mom!"

Your mother: "Yes, dear?"

You: "I'm making a costume. For...a, umm...costume contest. Yeah."

Your mother: "Oh, how fun! Is...that it?"

You: "Yeah. What do you think?"

Your mother blinks a few times.

Your mother: "...honey...is there something you want to tell me?"

Panic seizes you as you realize that your mother knows! The costume just screams Supervillain of Doom! and is so obviously evil  that she figured out your plans! Must have been the skull that tipped her off. You knew you should have followed the Evil Overlord list more closely. This is awful. You'd really hoped that your first victim would be someone more...well, you're not sure exactly what you hoped. But it never occurred to you that you'd have to kill your mother to ensure her silence.

Your mother: "Because you know we love you and what you do with your body is your own choice, and your father and I respect that."

You: "...wait, what?"

Your mother: "I understand if it's difficult to say out loud, and I want to help you through this. It's ok if you're gay. I understand."

You: "Mom! I am not gay!"

Your mother nods knowingly.

Your mother: "I understand. Of course. But...just...if you ever want to talk about it, please believe that I'll be here for you."

She gives you a meaningful hug and then leaves you alone.



So your mother thinks you're gay. But at least you have a Supervillain costume now.

What do you do?



Corai

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #32 on: October 02, 2012, 08:25:20 pm »

WRITE DOWN "REINFORCE COSTUME LATER" AND SEARCH UP WHERE TO BUY SWAT ARMOR ON THE BLACK MARKET.
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Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

LordBucket

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #33 on: October 02, 2012, 08:56:48 pm »

WRITE DOWN "REINFORCE COSTUME LATER" AND SEARCH UP WHERE TO BUY SWAT ARMOR ON THE BLACK MARKET.

That's easy enough. You hop on online and quickly find a body armor retailer. No black market required, and they'll ship to California with only a background felony check. Good thing you thought to do this now rather than after becoming established as a Supervillain.

You place an order for the following:

 * A  "point blank" level IIIA SWAT armored vest (-$2000)
 * A "point blank" level IIIA ballistic helmet (-$300)
 * A pair of Smith & Wesson 8" combat boots (-$100)
 * A high end handheld nightvision mono-goggle (-$3500)
 * A pair of 21" steel batons (-$160)
 * A tactical belt with straps (-$15)

You order it via the fastest shipping available (-$200). It's late now, so the order will be processed tomorrow, and should arrive the follow day.

...oh, wait, you don't have a credit card.

You: "Mom, can I borrow your credit card? I'll pay you back."

Your mother:"Of course, dear. I know you're good for it. Umm...you're not going to buy any...you know...sex accessories, are you?"

You: "Ewww! That's gross, mom. No, just some odds and ends for my costume. It's only $6275."

You mother: "What? No, I'm sorry. I can't put that much on my card. You still have your debit card that your bank gave you, right? Why don't you use that?"



So, after placing the order, you use your cellphone to take some pictures of you wearing your new Supervillain costume and add them to the kickstarter page. Then you go to sleep, dreaming happy dreams. The following morning you check the body armor outlet store and they confirm that your order has been placed and should arrive tomorrow afternoon. Kickstarter, however, still only has $60 worth of donations.

January 3rd 2012

Current status

What do you do?




GreatWyrmGold

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #34 on: October 02, 2012, 09:00:02 pm »

Add armor to costume.
Make sure face will be concealed.
Paint hammer silver or something, so we don't look like Bargain Bin Man.
Look into some sort of base, away from parents, but don't buy yet.
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LordBucket

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #35 on: October 02, 2012, 09:36:38 pm »

Add armor to costume.

The armor won't arrive until tomorrow afternoon, so you put that aside for now.

Quote
Look into some sort of base, away from parents, but don't buy yet.

Hmm. A Supervillian needs a lair.


What about a castle?

http://www.castles-for-sale.com

Chateu Hoekweg in Belgium - Price: $1,115,521



 • Built in 1880
 • 15 minutes from Brussels
 • Three stories
 • Groundfloor  200 m surface area (12 x 16m)
 • Prestigious entrance and staircase, 3 rooms of 30m each, fully fitted kitchen (20m), coatroom and toilets, service entry and stairs.
 • 1 st floor :3 rooms of 30m each, 1 of 20m, 1 of 24 m, service stairs, toilets, terrace
 • 2 nd floor; same as 1 st floor; without the terrace, plus a main hall of 60 m
 • 3 rd floor + attics:accessible via the serioce stairs, two attics ( 5x16 m) and ( 4x 16 m)
 • Cellars;stairs, 3 rooms of 30 m; 1 of 20 m, and 1 of 24 m
 • Annexes; 16 th century buildings, 2x 75 m ( garage plus 1 st floor)


Or, how about an underground missile silo?

http://www.missilebases.com/properties

Atlas F Missile Base, Central Kansas - Price: $349,000.



 • 10 acres (m/l)
 • Residential trailer for living space
 • Original high chain link fence with rolling gate
 • 40 X 100 ft Quonset currently a machine shop with office, bathroom & shower
 • Original Water Treatment building converted into usable commercial space



Maybe a yacht?

http://www.yachtworld.com

38' Jupiter Tournament Yacht - Price: $284,000



Dimensions
 • LOA: 38 ft 2 in
 • Beam: 10 ft 7 in
 • Dry Weight: 11980 lbs

Engines
 • Engine Brand: Yamaha Outboard F-350 700 HP
 • Cruising Speed: 38 knots @ 4400 RPM
 • Maximum Speed: 47 knots
 • Range: 444 nm




Of course, all of these so far seem to be out of your price range. Maybe you could take out a loan and make payments. Or, if you want something you can pay cash for:

http://dayton.craigslist.org/reo/3312424143.html

Two bedroom house in Dayton, Ohio - Price: $16,000


 • 2 bedroom, 1 bath
 • 2 car detached garage with alley access.
 • Fenced back yard.



Looks like you have lots of options. Or if you want to stay in Irvine, you're pretty sure you can rent a two bedroom condo for $1500/month.

Did you have something specific in mind?

Corai

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #36 on: October 02, 2012, 09:39:33 pm »

Buy the two bedroom house, and pickaxes and anything else needed for digging. Anything illegal shall be made in a hidden bomb shelter.

-EDIT-

Do not touch the SWAT Armor at all, no modifications. It will make a good disguise.
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Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Wrex

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #37 on: October 02, 2012, 09:40:47 pm »

We should think of a way to show we mean business. A demonstration, per se. That will get those kick-starter idiots to pony up the loot.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #38 on: October 02, 2012, 09:50:32 pm »

Try to design some kind of mining robot to create underground base under the house in Dayton. If this fails, try to find some geek/nerd who owes me a favor from college to work for me and design/build robots.
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LordBucket

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #39 on: October 03, 2012, 11:56:27 am »

Buy the two bedroom house

You respond to the ad and shortly thereafter are contacted by the real estate agent who listed the property. He's a little surprised that you're willing to make an offer for asking price sight-unseen, but is happy to accept and offers to act as your agent for the deal. You don't really understand what that means, so you agree.

After a trip to the bank and a followup visit to your local UPS store to fax over some paperwork, your offer has been submitted. After commission and closing costs, the total is a bit higher than the asking price. (-$17,500). Having made a payment of the full amount into an escrow account, the agent assures you that he is confident the seller will accept your offer. But it will take a few days to finalize everything.

pickaxes and anything else needed for digging.

Since you are in California, and the house you've just submitted an offer for is in Ohio, you wisely decide to purchase digging tools later rather than transport them on a plane.




Try to design some kind of mining robot to create underground base under the house in Dayton. If this fails, try to find some geek/nerd who owes me a favor from college to work for me and design/build robots.

Exhilarated at the prospect of digging an underground lair, you immediately rush out to your garage to begin building mining robots. After about two minutes of staring at the workbench you remember that you know absolutely nothing about robotics. Fortunately, it happens you have a geeky acquaintance  who's an EE/CS major. So you give him a call.

You: "Hey, Gilbert. You busy? I need for you something."

Gilbert: "Oh, hey Bob. No, nothing much going on here. I'm just reconfiguring my linux box to accept incoming telnet sessions from an app I wrote for my android phone."

You: "...right. Umm, anyway, you remember you mentioned a few weeks ago you were doing that robotics club thing? I need a robot built."

Gilbert: "Really? You want to come to the meeting? I spent all night Tuesday finishing version 14 of Trini-bot , and I'll be showcasing her tonight!"

You: "Tuesday? You were working on robots on New Year's Eve?"

Gilbert: "...well, yeah. It's not like I had anything else to do since school was out. Anyway, you wanna come?"

You: "Yes. I'll be there"

You spend the next few hours posing in front of your mirror wearing your awesome Supervillain outfit. You consider wearing it to the robotics club meeting, but decide instead to save your reveal to the world for a more notable occasion.



The meeting turns out to be roughly a dozen people, each bearing small robots, most of which are about 6-12 inches square, with tank treads. You're not really sure what  robot that size with no arms or anything is supposed to do.

They are happy to give you a demonstration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0RWePkBH7U#t=0m42s

Gilbert: "Alright! Ha! Trini-bot did it in under two minutes! Awesome! Yeeaaahhhh! Who's the man? Who's the man! Woohoo!"

You: "..."

Some other geek:: "Wow, Gilbert. That's amazing! My Robo-scooter never managed better than 2:45. Trini-bot's awesome!"

You: "..."

Gilbert: "Yeah, Trini's been good to me. She's totally worth the 72 hours I've put into her so far. Maybe I can get her down to a minute 30 by the end of the semester."

You: "Are you people serious?"

They both look at you.

You: "That's all your robots do? They navigate a 5 foot maze in two minutes?"

Some other geek:: "Actually, it's 4 foot by 6 foot."

Gilbert: "And it's really very complicated to build these. The chassis is just a very minor part of it. You have build  logic circuit that accepts sensor input and uses that to-"

You: "But I need you to build mining robots!"

(They look at you blankly.)

Gilbert: "I don't think that's realistic."

Some other geek:: "Yeah, even million dollar robots like ASIMO, produced by massive corporations can't do that kind of thing. We're college students. What do you expect us to be able to do?"

Gilbert: "...although now that I think about it, mining robots aren't totally out of the question. There's NASA's Lunabotics competition, for example.

(They pull up a youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Biib8ksJXKQ#t=1m07s

You: "...that's a NASA mining robot?"

Gilbert: "Well, that particular robot was made by the UA team, but it's for the NASA competition, yes. We're probably still a few years from any kind of production model."



Doesn't look like "mining robots" is a viable option.

Current status

What do you do?




(General reminder:)

(Note: On the Sliding Scale of Silliness Versus Seriousness this game is intended to lean slightly towards serious. Yes, there may be some silliness. But not You Are Russian levels of silliness. This game will take place in modern day "real world" USA. So no superpowers, no giant mechs, no aliens etc. This will largely be a game of resource management based loosely on reality. If you want minions, you'll need to hire or convince them to join you. If you want explosives you'll need to make or buy them. If you want military hardware, tanks, planes, bombs, etc. you'll need to find a way to get those things. Don't expect to hide in the basement for a week and develop a super-strength serum or build Dr. Doom's armor out of scrap metal.)

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #40 on: October 03, 2012, 03:12:33 pm »

Hm, right, that stupid "realism" thing putting dents in all of our evil plans. Next you'll tell me we won't be able to make a death ray...

Plan some sort of underground base for under the house and see what I would need to purchase to make it. Also try to figure out something to do with the soil we'll be digging out of the base.
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Nny

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #41 on: October 03, 2012, 04:18:47 pm »

Hm, right, that stupid "realism" thing putting dents in all of our evil plans. Next you'll tell me we won't be able to make a death ray...

Plan some sort of underground base for under the house and see what I would need to purchase to make it. Also try to figure out something to do with the soil we'll be digging out of the base.

+1
Also I think we should start reading up on how to make explosives and damage various systems. Particularly I recommend anything by Ragnar Benson, and Recipes For Disaster: An Anarchist Cookbook. Also since you already mentioned 4chan go ahead and lurk /k/ and /diy/. Supervillians need to start somewhere, and arson/bombings could be that place.
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TopHat

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #42 on: October 03, 2012, 04:41:26 pm »

PTW
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Corai

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #43 on: October 03, 2012, 07:21:06 pm »

Guys, I got the underground base setup. Once we arrive in Ohio to buy the house, we can begin digging a bomb shelter for the illegal stuff.

Inspect on arrival SWAT armor, summarize it's effectiveness in a gunfight.

« Last Edit: October 03, 2012, 07:23:43 pm by Corai »
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
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Wrex

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Re: You are a Suburban Supervillain
« Reply #44 on: October 03, 2012, 07:22:49 pm »

See if we can download a PDF of the Anarchist's cookbook. Widely avalible over teh interwebs, with everything you could ever need for starting a terrorist movement.
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