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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 750392 times)

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9345 on: April 01, 2018, 06:58:30 pm »

B I mean we've never really kicked out any of our sons for their problems before.

Yeah. We got rid of one for coming down with a bad case of the Clergy.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9346 on: April 01, 2018, 07:02:08 pm »

Well actually he left on his own. We just disinherited him so that we would see a conflict of interests because of his priesthood should he inherit.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9347 on: April 01, 2018, 07:04:00 pm »

I wonder how he's doing these days...
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9348 on: April 01, 2018, 07:09:20 pm »

I wonder how he's doing these days...

I'm not sure that is appropriate for the lore thread. We should pester the next Pantheonists about him next time they visit.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9349 on: April 01, 2018, 07:18:14 pm »

Yeah it would be nice to know how he is doing. That and who knows? It might give him a chance to convert us to the best and most Luathbasian religion... Pantheonism!  :P
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9350 on: April 01, 2018, 08:02:44 pm »

B
Although we definitely got to keep him out of sight. No remarriage for him.
Wait... won't his healthy trait offset the long-term ills of the booze? Appoint him ambassador to the Dwarves.
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omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9351 on: April 01, 2018, 08:06:48 pm »

B
Although we definitely got to keep him out of sight. No remarriage for him.
Wait... won't his healthy trait offset the long-term ills of the booze? Appoint him ambassador to the Dwarves.

that's, that's what I like to hear
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Iituem

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9352 on: April 02, 2018, 04:28:42 am »

B
Although we definitely got to keep him out of sight. No remarriage for him.
Wait... won't his healthy trait offset the long-term ills of the booze? Appoint him ambassador to the Dwarves.

Perfect!  I know it isn't an option, but +1 to permanent dwarf embassy!
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Let's Play Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magic Obscura! - The adventures of Jack Hunt, gentleman rogue.

No slaughtering every man, woman and child we see just to teleport to the moon.

Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9353 on: April 02, 2018, 04:48:38 am »

He's also Healthy and thus probably has a lot of blood, so if they need any imperial blood for magic he'll be in close proximity that way as well!

B, he hasn't really made that much trouble for us yet.
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9354 on: April 02, 2018, 04:55:20 am »

You leave him alone with his new wife, the alcohol.

1158 AD, End of the Year

The thin layer of snow on the cobblestones have already caused several accidents amongst your servants. Curse the wintery frost!

Anyways, here comes the Advisor. Like always, he has Scrolls of Kingdom Status in his hands.

Quote
2to6

Happiness: 4
Population: 7
Economy: 2
Army: (9)
Imp.Authority: 0

"Our Treasury barely made profits, my liege. The Treasurer is pushing for continuation of limiting of the Army budget, although your officers begin to grumble, as they feel this policy is taking away from their glory. We could also raise the taxes amongst peasantry for a year. The Imperial authority was mended somewhat by disappearance of the ghastly beast, rather than your statesmen' actions."

A) "We can do with higher taxes, but lets restore Army's budget."
B) "Budget cuts and higher taxes is what we need!"
C) "Tax is unnecessary, we will do well with continued budget cuts for the Army."
D) "Neither of these options appease me!"

"Of course the other question is; do you wish to issue an Edict"?

A) "Hell yeah!"
B) "Heavens no!"
« Last Edit: April 02, 2018, 10:29:27 am by Haspen »
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9355 on: April 02, 2018, 05:03:12 am »

CA

Lets see if there are any edicts we can play with to get some extra money.

We could also declare war on Eldrican for that silver.
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9356 on: April 02, 2018, 05:03:44 am »

BA
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ZBridges

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9357 on: April 02, 2018, 05:04:42 am »

B, A
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9358 on: April 02, 2018, 05:13:09 am »

BA

We have to kill the Recruitment Offices for sure. Afterward we can think about issuing the Settlement Policy to get the Pop up to 8 for extra tax and colonize Orcworld for potential resources.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2018, 05:14:40 am by Harry Baldman »
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Cyl I of Methiant!
« Reply #9359 on: April 02, 2018, 05:29:51 am »

MILITARY EDICTS:

Matters of military hierarchy, philosophy of war and development of military tech.

-

BUREAUCRATIC EDICTS:

Matters of administration and government.

Issue the Bill of Rights:
A standarized code of basic laws of the common peoples. Even if peasants will have nothing else left, they will always have their basic freedoms, helping ease their minds in times of emergency - and perhaps allow the spirit of liberty and humanism to blossom (for good or worse).

Enact Settlement Policy:
Guarantee that those willing to settle in previously undeveloped lands or territories yet unclaimed by any nation will be given a certain amount of money to help further their effort. However, this might cause a severe drain on the Treasury, especially during times of sudden, mass migrations to the countryside.

Introduce Elective Succession Laws:
Sometimes a firstborn might be below average in terms of his skills to rule the nation, but there might be no other alternatives left, even amongst females. Elective Succession will allow the monarch to select the most skilled to inherit the throne, even a distant (or foreign!) relative of the successor, although this might cause problems with less gifted yet highly ambitious relatives of the next ruler, as well as local nobility.

CULTURAL EDICTS:

Matters of religion, culture and art.

Establish Calendar of Festivities:
Rather than throw a festival every few years to celebrate a bontiful harvest, let's instead establish a cyclic and stable calendar of state-sponsored festivities for the whole year. This will cause a drain on the Treasury, but hey - people love festivals!

Endorse State Patronage of Arts:
To help develop the nation culturally, set aside certain amount of budget money to sponsor sculptors, poets, musicians and painters. It will be a constant drain on the Treasury, but think of how prestigious your nation will become, what with those masterpieces of art popping left and right!

Establish The Royal House of Learning:
Scholars scribbling down books in secluded libraries and scriptories should be a thing of the past! Let's instead establish a centre of learning, where those of intellect can exchange ideas and educate those willing to learn. It will help the nation develop technologically, although maintenance of this beacon of enlightenment will obviously require yearly costs.

---

REVOKE EDICT: Revokes a previously implemented edict, either to cut spending, appease some disgruntled subjects, or both. On the other hand, it might tick off some other peoples, potentially causing a deadly cascade of discontent.

Late Spring, 1135 AD: Established the Fireblood Court:
Creation of a specialized military branch devoted purely to development of Fireblood arms to ensure they are aplenty and of best designs around. This will allow to centralize the production, research and budgeting of Fireblood weaponry rather than having some errant alchemists and engineers running around, trying to make things happen.

End of Year 1135 AD: Proclaimed Religious Equality:
Travelers, merchants, immigrants; they all bring new beliefs and philosophies into the country. Rather than fight those foreign influences, it might be best to allow all peoples free worship on equal level no matter the size and beliefs of the congregation, to help all different worshippers achieve a certain degree to harmony and peace.

End of Year 1139 AD: Established Recruitment Offices:
Mandatory training for youths is a good thing, but after bloodier-than-usual wars, there might be shortage of men to replenish the ranks. If we were to expand on the royal bureaucracy to include offices for traveling civilian recruiters and offer citizenship grants for mercenaries and travelers looking for a new home, our Army could refill its ranks much faster.

End of Year 1140 AD: Established The Council of Statesmen:
Creation of a small council of governmental officials who will be tasked with helping the government run smoother alongside traditional advisors, and, of course, the monarch himself. This will help strengthen the Imperial Authority, even in dire times, and help pass edicts quicker, although giving even more political power away from the throne than in the past might become a source of troubles one day.

End of Year 1142 AD: Established Passage Tax:
All those travelers, adventurers, merchants and others are moving through the country for free! Let's establish a tax for those entering and leaving our country - this will earn us nice profits each year, although it might slow down immigration and convince some merchants to seek passage through elsewhere.

End of Year 1146 AD: Established Diplomatic Corps:
Creation of a small but highly professional cabinet of diplomats and ambassadors that would visit neighbouring countries on regular basis to strengthen ties with nearby rulers and their nobles, and maybe even develop favorable treaties with them.

Summer 1152 AD: Issued the Codex of Training Regimen:
A set of efficient (and slightly draconian) requirements and practices of training to ensure that the Army gets only the best recruits of them all. This will make the Army much better in combat, although there might be a problem to fill yearly recruitment quotas sometimes.

End of Year 1153 AD: Established the Shadowranks:
Politics often involve underhanded tactics. A castle full of commoner staff and visiting foreigners just asks for a disaster to occur. Let's have the military form a professional division of most loyal of soldiers, who would protect the Emperor, his family and important state officials, during the day, night, war, peace, revelries of festivals and monotony of daily life.

End of Year 1154 AD: Established Religion Tax:
Various congregations are given away territories and various tax exemptions for those. With erosion of religious influences upon the state, its prime opportunity to dip our hand into prime source of income that is donations and tithes gathered by those numerous cults present in the empire. It will surely not please them, and, by extension, your subjects.

End of Year 1156 AD: Expanded Primogeniture Law:
A string of bad luck can render a monarch without a male heir or cause succession debates. Rather than risk some unpleasant consequences of such a situation, it might be better to allow a skilled female to ascend to the throne, especially if she is as good at matters of the governance as any other ruler.
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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