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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 750223 times)

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11025 on: May 11, 2018, 06:59:57 pm »

A

Yay! Wedding!
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Lunardog15

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11026 on: May 11, 2018, 07:25:35 pm »

a Just don't make me go
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everything is fine
 everything is on fire
I see no difference between these two phrases.
only at modded hell does this make sense

mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11027 on: May 11, 2018, 07:38:03 pm »

A
I don't even remember that one, but okay.
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11028 on: May 11, 2018, 09:25:31 pm »

A
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Puppyguard

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11029 on: May 11, 2018, 09:27:46 pm »

A
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11030 on: May 11, 2018, 09:31:46 pm »

A I mean I'm still going to vote to take Koi from them when possible as Eldrican are oathbreaking Damed worshiping liars. I mean considering the deal breaking, assassinations, and disrespect that they've thrown our way for years I'm kinda surprised we haven't broken down into hostilities sooner but sure if they want to give our brother a wife then why not?

As for the still debated matter of religion I'm of the opinion that taking over Pantheonism and making it our own is a pretty cool idea. Why have an Archpriest and an Emperor when you can both in one?  :P I mean if our SPAMoverlord the mighty Haspen allows us the option that is.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11031 on: May 11, 2018, 09:54:37 pm »

A
I don't even remember that one, but okay.

I think it was either one of the first things Yoe III did, or one of the last things Cyl did. But I remember it happening.

Also, I just noticed, our ascension post didn't mention about who our heir is. I suspect our court will soon try and pressure us to name one of our siblings so that they don't have to go through a regency should we die before our baby daughter is ready for the throne. That choice seems to come up in situations like this. At this point, I'm just curious to find out what the traits of Hein and Graine have.

A I mean I'm still going to vote to take Koi from them when possible as Eldrican are oathbreaking Damed worshiping liars. I mean considering the deal breaking, assassinations, and disrespect that they've thrown our way for years I'm kinda surprised we haven't broken down into hostilities sooner but sure if they want to give our brother a wife then why not?

I don't think we want to fight any of the Damed worshipers lest we wind up fighting all of the Damed worshipers.

Honestly, I only see two ways that we can mess with the Damdamians barring another implosion on their end.

1st: We could see if the Dwarves are willing to give Bjern a fresh start. We are no longer Yoe III, so they might be nice to us if we through some gold their way. The Damned don't like the dwarves, Eldrican, which borders most of the dwarf settlements, is converting to the Damned, so I'd imagine the dwarves must be at least a bit nervous, and might join us on a crusade against The Evil Empire if the price is right.

2nd: We play the long game. At the wedding, we take the option to talk religion that we usually get when socializing at Feasts, and inquire about getting the cult's help with the Pantheonists. We would punish the people who killed our father and blackmailed us, and convert to the Cult. If we also practice the Damdamian faith, we can likely get away with attacking or absorbing Damdamian neighbors without bringing the whole fecking cult down on our ass. Once we have eaten our fill of lands to the West and South of us, we can convert back to a respectable Methianese faith at the next opportunity.
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omada

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11032 on: May 11, 2018, 10:20:48 pm »

I liked how the weirdsound plans works, that long plan sounds like something I would do, although when we convert we will have to deal with a fuckton of damed revolting... that will be hard

The dwarven one seens right, we could a contract of mutual protection against crusades of religions that don't accept diversity or other races, it will be just a step for them to march with us and create some of their fortress inside old damdamian lands




But here is another bit to the god-emperor plan if we ever get the chance to make something more complicated than the last 100 years of Damdamian history

we already had got the option to force a religious reform on the alldivines

we maybe can choose it again with the pantheonists

we are wise and we can probably write a holy book without loopholes

this holybook can say that all gods are equal in the pantheonism, and as some descended in luathbas region some descended on foreingn lands later and sooner, it's acceptable that those religions are different, but now that they know the truth they should or could join the pantheonism banner

we put our family as sacred, we show our papers of our relation with alldivinist death and act as the whole alldivinist thing was a trial to make people accept others

we turn religious equality back and make it the weirdest and almost hypocritical shit that will give nightmarish headaches to historians in the future, we do that saying that is our hole as intermediary of gods making sure that all religions can debate, flourish and join the pantheonism soon or later by their own, and damn, if a religion is causing too much trouble we can give a lawful and religious reason to smash it

we put the major paths of illumination being

a)healthy habits and protection of the emperor (shadowranks will be believed to become cherubs on death) (being the path of the warrior)
b) meditation, knowledge and improvement of tech which can bring us someday personally to the house of the outer gods in the stars (path of the wise)
c) Pious and charity, making sure almost every conflict is done with the minimum of pain and losses unless a god says otherwise (path of the diplomat)
D) Seeker of old magic, anyone that might bring good magic back into human blood might be praised as the one that made humans purer and deserve a place inside the royal family ( the rare path of the mage)

and we then can call ourselves the Holy Empire of Methiant, restorer of old luathbas, capital of science, protector of old magic, land of the free, a place where wine is divine and gold is purer



I got a bit carried away
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Competent reader (any know lenguage)
Novice english wordsmith
Dabbling english speaker (rusty)
He is short, with a small and failed beard
He likes wood, spears, ducks for their nobility, and rabbits for their weak hearts and funny reproduction rate.
he has a hard time to focus, and values, err almost everything, he dreams of mastering a skill.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11033 on: May 11, 2018, 10:52:09 pm »

Eh. I don't think we're going to manage to play it both ways on two points. One I just don't think people are going to be ok with Religious freedom or at least not anytime soon. Two from what I remember from the Lore Thread the advancement of science helps with the weakening of magic so I'm pretty sure you can only have one or the other.

I think if we're going to go about fusing the office of Emperor with that of the head of the [Luathbasian] Pantheonist faith we have to go by a "One Ruler/One Faith" kinda thing. Not saying that it would be impossible for Gods of other faiths to become gods of Pantheonism if certain humans can traditionally be accepted as having "ascended" to godhood but I don't think they're going to accept any kinda of slow peaceful fusion of Pantheons.

As for magic from what I understand magic is weakening and there is nothing we can do about it. From what I remembering Haspen saying it might have a resurgence later but that implies very bad things happening that we'd have to survive. Though personally I'd gladly give surviving said bad stuff a go if it meant magic would stop weakening.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2018, 10:54:00 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

birdy51

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11034 on: May 11, 2018, 10:58:34 pm »

I would consider the opposite. If magic is the dying way, then we should continue, if not redouble our efforts to be the most technologically advanced state.
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11035 on: May 11, 2018, 11:37:26 pm »

I think if we're going to go about fusing the office of Emperor with that of the head of the [Luathbasian] Pantheonist faith we have to go by a "One Ruler/One Faith" kinda thing.

I'd be fine with that. Whose down for a straight up purge of all the religious leaders in our land next time our army maxes out? I've had enough of these priestly fucktards thinking they can boss around The Emperor. I say we go full Henry VIII up in here!

As for magic from what I understand magic is weakening and there is nothing we can do about it. From what I remembering Haspen saying it might have a resurgence later but that implies very bad things happening that we'd have to survive. Though personally I'd gladly give surviving said bad stuff a go if it meant magic would stop weakening.

I think the very bad later resurgence of magic has something to do with that terrible nightmare Yoe III had. We wound up putting that shit off for over a century, right?

Also, if I remember correctly, Haspen refused to say if Orcworld was more or less magical than the main world. There is a chance we could get our fill of magical shenanigans there.
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11036 on: May 11, 2018, 11:52:34 pm »

We should wait until we get a good opportunity again, build up the nation in the mean time to high happiness.  Set up our army, then reintroduce the religious tolerance law (but not the tax) and let things play out.  Trying to force the issue soon will be a bad idea.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11037 on: May 11, 2018, 11:58:48 pm »

I'd be fine with that. Whose down for a straight up purge of all the religious leaders in our land next time our army maxes out? I've had enough of these priestly fucktards thinking they can boss around The Emperor. I say we go full Henry VIII up in here!

Well of course any such reform of the Faith under a "One Ruler/One Faith" policy requires us to purge any priest unwilling to accept such reforms. If we're going to truly force such a change we need to go all the way. Which means we'll more than likely have to kill the priests who worked to kill our father of course as I doubt they'll accept such a lose of independence from the Empire.

I think the very bad later resurgence of magic has something to do with that terrible nightmare Yoe III had. We wound up putting that shit off for over a century, right?

Also, if I remember correctly, Haspen refused to say if Orcworld was more or less magical than the main world. There is a chance we could get our fill of magical shenanigans there.

I was having similar thoughts about the nightmare as well. Which is another reason why I think subjugating and then strengthening an Imperial Pantheonism is a good idea as Pantheonism seems to be the only religion that has displayed actually mystically qualities which would hopefully be useful for surviving a magic resurgence event.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11038 on: May 12, 2018, 12:02:02 am »

Bah, dont worry too much about that dream.  It's probably just the lich lord come back with an army of the dead to sweep the living from the face of the planet.

Nothing a few level 40 adventurers cant solve.

Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Bjern I of Methiant!
« Reply #11039 on: May 12, 2018, 04:01:27 am »

You decide to keep with the deal signed by your grandfather, and have Hein marry Irvalina next Spring.

Speaking of Hein, news come from your tutors, who, despite several years more of tutoring, can't find anything in him. He is unremarkable like every peasant around the capital

1172 AD, Autumn

Quote
2to5

Springwine brought profits to the Treasury.

Army is returning to Methiant through the portal. Most of it is still camping at Orcworld Fortress, but within a month all soldiers, wounded, animals, supplies and weapons should be transferred over.

During a very boring night, you rummage through some less visited parts of royal library. One old book, titled 'The Glory of Prince' in old Luathbasian script, catches your eye. This manuscript must be ancient; written in cursive Old Luathbasian, the preamble mentions it is written by those whom Prince of Glory, whose name must not be spoken, and his 'most sacred initials' are D, X and C.

You don't remember this guy from any codex or religion, to be honest. Still, such an old, mystical and thick manuscript, surely only copy in existence, could be worth its weight...?

A) What is this mystical fiction doing in my renowned library? To the waste dump with it!
B) Hmmm, finally some interesting lecture.
C) Plenty of Methiantese merchants deal in manuscripts. Let's find a buyer.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2018, 04:03:22 am by Haspen »
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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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