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[necromancerbob]

The fortress of "Griddled" lived up to it's name in some delicious irony when there was an unholy cascade of "job interpreted" confusion after a single magma crab shot and killed someone on the drawbridge over the volcano to the entrance of the fort, what resulted was everyone trying to pick up the bodies and clean the area as more and more people got stuck in the confusion constantly being spat at and injured by that damn magma crab. There were dwarfs injured on the ground, fighting each other and falling into the volcano. I had to break the supports of the bridge to end the madness...

[TolyK]

Minecarts and a mess hall. Enough said.

[J75Ghost]

Militia Commander is pathing back and forth by a murky pool with soap and a bucket. Check his job: Wash self. good. Check his health: two broken hands. 

Urist McSmelly reporting for duty.

[SAFry]

The fortress of "Griddled" lived up to it's name in some delicious irony when there was an unholy cascade of "job interpreted" confusion after a single magma crab shot and killed someone on the drawbridge over the volcano to the entrance of the fort, what resulted was everyone trying to pick up the bodies and clean the area as more and more people got stuck in the confusion constantly being spat at and injured by that damn magma crab. There were dwarfs injured on the ground, fighting each other and falling into the volcano. I had to break the supports of the bridge to end the madness...

Funny you should say that, I just finished my bridges over the volcano at the entrance to my fort, pastured an iron golem (Masterwork mod) in the middle to detect sneaks. First thing that comes along, a wolverine man goes for the golem, golem dodges and hey presto; brand new, not a scratch on in it, golem goes flying off the bridge to become a magmanaut. Well, at least he found the magma sea before he melted.

[Blackadder]

I was managing a decent fortress, so far with 70+ dwarves and very good exports, when all of a sudden...

The dead walk!

I had a small military, which after locking down my 2-level airlock, dispatched the necromancer and the swarm of zombies while only sustaining one loss. A tomb was constructed, and all was well. Until of course, a goblin ambush appeared.

After having such success with my crossbowmen in the last siege, I decided they would make short work of a small siege, and let them loose without thinking to lock down my fortress. This was a dumb idea, because a single goblin managed to kill my entire 15 dwarf military by itself, and made it inside, killing several children before it was slain by a dwarf with a pickaxe.

I was picking up the pieces after that, and managed to clean up some of the bloodbath, when I noticed that all of my dwarves were incredibly unhappy. Not wanting a tantrum spiral to occur, I started trying to make the dwarves happier. Before I had a chance, I noticed that a trail of blood was forming inside my fort. After looking at the unit list for a surviving enemy, I noticed one anomaly: "Kivish Sakzulibesh Mozir Unib, Woodworker"

I drafted an emergency military out of miners, but by then it was too late. He had already slaughtered my entire fort's population of children, and elevated himself to Legendary status. He then proceeded to disembowel every last one my my fort's 59 remaining dwarves. I've never lost a fort so quickly before. I managed to send a Demigod adventurer to the site afterword, with whom I disarmed Kivish by slashing at his hand, then stabbed him in the chest, and while he was impaled, I bashed his skull in with my shield. I seriously love this game D:

I couldn't get a pic of the bloodbath in time before it quit, but here's a pic of the outside, with the woodworker's body.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Wyrmnax]

Covered the whole sky in a giant magma pool, with hundreds of magma safe hatches ready to drop down the magma to the world below to destroy besieging goblins.

Pull the lever when the next siege arrives.

Remember my fortress is underground, and magma obeys gravity.

[floundericiousWA]

was playing late at night...had sorted through six dozen bins to sort out all the xClothingx and large clothing to sell to the dwarven caravan...with an on-the-table value of 145000+ bucks...and was starting to work my way down my wants on the left.... I was close to done selecting the last little bit of food and thread and crutches, etc to take from the caravan....  I had spent over an hour on trading...and accidentally hit ESC.

poof...gone.

The caravan was a few in-game ticks from leaving and the game was still paused, so I saved and exited in disgust.

[Hanslanda]

That SUCKS.

I had a siege happen is Shadebeast, FINALLY. God, I've never waited so long for a siege, it took like four-five years. The siege comes, the first squad wanders in front of my closed gate, which is a dumbass idea on their part, I like to lay the traps on thick by my main entrance. They mostly die, and I capture their leader. I kill the trolls trying to break my first Goblin Grinder hatch with Upright Copper spikes. The last squad climbs my mountain all the way to the top... Then they just disappear in the ten seconds I wasn't watching. I'm assuming they fled, but damn it, I FINALLY GOT A SIEGE, AND HALF THE BASTARDS ESCAPED.
  Grr. Not really much of a facepalm, but frustrating.

[Corai]

Covered the whole sky in a giant magma pool, with hundreds of magma safe hatches ready to drop down the magma to the world below to destroy besieging goblins.

Pull the lever when the next siege arrives.

Remember my fortress is underground, and magma obeys gravity.

PICTURES.


NOW. IF THIS IS REAL, THEN (no offense) SCREW AUSSIE'S INSANE ANTICS.

[Hanslanda]

You haven't heard of the magma rods from god system yet Corai? I thought it was common knowledge.

[darkrider2]

I embarked on an evil mountain next to a desert. As with all deserts, buzzards were flying about trying to steal my food, and I forgot to bring a military dwarf with me. Not five minutes into it and an abominable soot rolls in, I had never encountered this ever before. So I just kinda hoped it would go by and not really do anything, I was wrong.

First it passes nearby, and every buzzard becomes a buzzard abominal soot thrall and continues trying to eat my food, some of them start attacking dwarves. I started digging down but I was a little too late. The soot then thralls 6 of my dwarves and they start running around like madmen doing I don't even know what.

The only dwarf who didn't get soot thralled was one of the miners cause he was busy digging a room, he emerges from below to see the caravan robbed of all its food, buzzards and dwarves fighting each other to the death, a huge fog slowly drifting away in the distance, and a dwarf rushing at him full speed...

I face palmed and abandoned that fort.

EDIT: Happened again. What does "Opposed to Life" mean?

[Reudh]

Kills anything considered alive.

[darkrider2]

Aww, I was hoping they would at least kill undead.

Anyway I was (helplessly) watching one of these things go to work and it killed a dwarf while leaving no identifying marks behind other than huge spatters of blood, it literally ripped the dwarf into pieces so small the game didn't track it.

[Twiggie]

I just realised pearlash is actually pearl ash, not pear lash.

-.-

[Wyrmnax]

Fully engraved fortress entrance + magma river trap.