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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1501329 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2535 on: November 27, 2011, 07:46:26 pm »
Quote from: Nyxalinth on November 27, 2011, 07:45:10 pm
Dear ponies of Gemgrooves,

Considering I only have the military figured out on the most half-assed level, you guys did great with your first siege.  We lost seven ponies to the Dromedian invaders, but you killed them all.  And as for the Forgotten Beast?  Fine showing!  I didn't think you'd take him down.  I'll be monitoring you all for any nasty effects.  I don't think he had a chance to use his poisons, though.  Thankfully.

Your Overpony

pony = dwarf...?  ???
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BackgroundGuy

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2536 on: November 27, 2011, 09:50:59 pm »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 27, 2011, 07:46:26 pm
Quote from: Nyxalinth on November 27, 2011, 07:45:10 pm
Dear ponies of Gemgrooves,

Considering I only have the military figured out on the most half-assed level, you guys did great with your first siege.  We lost seven ponies to the Dromedian invaders, but you killed them all.  And as for the Forgotten Beast?  Fine showing!  I didn't think you'd take him down.  I'll be monitoring you all for any nasty effects.  I don't think he had a chance to use his poisons, though.  Thankfully.

Your Overpony
He's playing with the MLP mod.
pony = dwarf...?  ???
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calico103

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2537 on: November 27, 2011, 11:37:32 pm »
Dear Urist McMiner,

Please do not trap yourself undergr--

...

Dear rescue team...
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PCpaste

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2538 on: November 28, 2011, 07:40:19 am »
Dearest farmer Urist,

Please, could you PLEASE refrain from eating your crop as soon as it comes off the field? It makes it rather hard to keep the entire fortress from dying of thirst.

...

I hate you.
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Quote from: Oliolli on August 15, 2011, 06:48:33 am
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2539 on: November 28, 2011, 10:39:54 am »
Dear Overseer McHatefuljerk,

I can't produce enough food for the whole fortress on my own. Make the rest of these baffoons farmers and expand the fields and we might just have enough to survive on.

Sincerely, Urist McSubsistencefarmer.
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Nyxalinth

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2540 on: November 28, 2011, 02:29:36 pm »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on November 27, 2011, 07:46:26 pm
Quote from: Nyxalinth on November 27, 2011, 07:45:10 pm
Dear ponies of Gemgrooves,

Considering I only have the military figured out on the most half-assed level, you guys did great with your first siege.  We lost seven ponies to the Dromedian invaders, but you killed them all.  And as for the Forgotten Beast?  Fine showing!  I didn't think you'd take him down.  I'll be monitoring you all for any nasty effects.  I don't think he had a chance to use his poisons, though.  Thankfully.

Your Overpony

pony = dwarf...?  ???

MLP mod, and yes, SHE is :)
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QuakeIV

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2541 on: November 28, 2011, 02:45:21 pm »
Dear dwarves,

If you had actually fought the goblins, you wouldn't all be dead right now.


edit; DEAR SWEET ARMOK A MY LITTLE PONY MOD!?!  RE-ALIGN THE MAGMA CANNON WE ARE TAKING THEM OUT!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2011, 02:51:39 pm by QuakeIV »
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Hitty40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2542 on: November 28, 2011, 02:49:36 pm »
Dear Urist McWeedSmoker,

Please. Drop the blunt, get back to work, and clear the smoke from your room.


- The Clean Overseer.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2543 on: November 28, 2011, 02:54:22 pm »
Dear Fish Dissector,

When I forbid everything, cancelled every job, and ordered the destruction of the bridge that would allow the Beastmen ravaging our village to make another pass I assumed you understood it was kind of a big deal. You however decided you were feeling a bit thirsty and instead of taking a few seconds to destroy the bridge then enjoying fine ale and wine from our overflowing stockpiles you decided to drink out of a mudpuddle then maybe get to the bridge later. This resulted in the Beastmen as I anticipated crossing the bridge and placing our fort under siege once again and furthermore resulted in you being horribly ripped apart. In the future when I tell you to do something I mean now.

-Apparently the only person who recognizes the benefits of an enemy free fortress
« Last Edit: November 29, 2011, 02:28:32 pm by Broseph Stalin »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2544 on: November 28, 2011, 04:01:09 pm »
Quote from: QuakeIV on November 28, 2011, 02:45:21 pm
Dear dwarves,

If you had actually fought the goblins, you wouldn't all be dead right now.


edit; DEAR SWEET ARMOK A MY LITTLE PONY MOD!?!  RE-ALIGN THE MAGMA CANNON WE ARE TAKING THEM OUT!

Dude, they have a cannon. In space. You'd be better off just sealing yourself off from the rest of the universe :P
>Then stage a gears of war like uprising<
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Doughnut189

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2545 on: November 28, 2011, 04:05:58 pm »
Dear legendary weaponsmith,

Where are you?
What happened to you?
You are dead, yet your corpse is nowhere to be found.

The only dangers the fortress has thus far faced were some goblin thieves.

I've even searched the caverns, but your corpse was nowhere to be found.

I was even going to give you one of the nice bedrooms!

Sincerely,
je ne sais quoi
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2546 on: November 28, 2011, 04:31:14 pm »
Dear Urist McMiner,

The rest of the expedition party is bored, and you're the only one with any experience. I know you're tired, but I don't see how taking a break for an entire season is going to help this fort prosper.

Sincerely,
Your overlord
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calico103

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2547 on: November 28, 2011, 07:27:25 pm »
Dear Urist McOnBreak,

I don't see how TWO TILES of mining can't be done before you take a break. Yeah, i know you've worked hard. No, two squares of mining is not going to kill you. Get back to it.
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WolfeyS

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2548 on: November 28, 2011, 09:46:31 pm »
Quote from: calico103 on November 28, 2011, 07:27:25 pm
Dear Urist McOnBreak,

I don't see how TWO TILES of mining can't be done before you take a break. Yeah, i know you've worked hard. No, two squares of mining is not going to kill you. Get back to it.


This happens to me way too much.
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on December 01, 2011, 03:01:49 pm
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PCpaste

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2549 on: November 29, 2011, 02:13:35 am »
Dear now multiple farmers,

I took the good advice and gave Urist the farmer some help, and gave him more fields. Yet still, you decide to eat the crops as soon as you get to the stockpile, rather then eating the freshly butchered horses or other grazers I can't support.

Please, before everyone, including yourself dies... EAT SOMETHING ELSE.

Sincerely, Overseer McHatefuljerk.
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Quote from: Oliolli on August 15, 2011, 06:48:33 am
Dwarf Fortress: The only game where an Artificial Intelligence-controlled unit can pull the pants off someone and the proceed to beat said someone to death with said pants.
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