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Author Topic: talk about not letting your disability get in the way  (Read 8550 times)

penguinofhonor

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talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« on: December 15, 2010, 01:30:57 am »

Meet Etur Aniltulon, one of Angrybees' finest soldiers. Completely unarmed and unarmored, Etur is a fighter, striker, and wrestler only, with no weapon or armor skills to get in the way of his glory. Okay, yeah, there's a better reason he doesn't have any of that - he can't. Etur has no hands, so he can't pick any of that stuff up to put it on. Both of his hands were cut off a while back by a tantruming soldier after a mass dehydration caused by winter and a lack of a well.

Etur is in the military because it's the only thing he can do - he can't even haul. Enthusiastically, he charges into the military, fighting just as well as the soldiers who have both their extremities and their weapons.

Better yet, Etur is a champion of the fortress. No, not a legendary soldier, but he has likely earned a place in the dwarven hall of fame. Etur, despite having no hands and therefore being as vulnerable as a civilian, has slain both a forgotten beast and a titan. He dodged the poisonous spittle shot by Dak Swimsunk the Clearings of Shell, the giant feathered mite of a forest titan, and struck the final blow against the horrid thing. He defeated Avi the forgotten beast, a skinless alligator. And after he dies, he will rest in a legendary tomb alongside the tombs of the nobility and his memory shall forever remain in the hearts of the dwarves of Angrybees.
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Argonnek

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2010, 01:34:32 am »

Looks like he didn't need a hand! *ba dum tish*

I'll leave now

Untouchable

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2010, 01:34:54 am »

So he kicked the shit out of a forbidden beast?

penguinofhonor

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2010, 01:36:45 am »

So he kicked the shit out of a forbidden beast?

And a titan. Oh, the forgotten beast's scales were made out of rock, by the way. And he still busted through it. If he had hands he'd be a great miner, I bet.
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Untouchable

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2010, 01:39:34 am »

So he kicked the shit out of a forbidden beast?

And a titan. Oh, the forgotten beast's scales were made out of rock, by the way. And he still busted through it. If he had hands he'd be a great miner, I bet.

Jesus, he's like something out of the most hardcore film of all time.

And  I don't even know what movie that is.

Max White

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2010, 01:47:44 am »

So are you going to assign him, and a single female dwarf, a single small burrow and let them talk for a while? I mean he deserves it...

Dzenaiya

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2010, 02:35:19 am »

well, you said hands so presumably he still has his arms, and I imagine if he can get anything with a vested interest in oxygen into a chokehold, he can win just about anything.

Of course, he may have simply crushed the forgotten beasts with his massive testicles.

Forget a spouse, he needs a full time gonad wrangler.
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Dradym

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2010, 02:48:37 am »

oh when he dies you should castrate him and donate his balls to !!science!!
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Max White

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2010, 03:00:50 am »

And for once the hideous turn of events wasn't by my hand...

penguinofhonor

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2010, 03:32:16 am »

I'm not sure which dwarven ladies are awesome enough to pair him with. Does sticking them in the same burrow alone work that well? Until I get any ideas, though, I'm leaving him up to his own tastes. He'll probably pair up with one of his sparring partners.
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Max White

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2010, 03:34:39 am »

If they have nothing to do but talk to each other, then talk they shall. From then on, it's as simple as playing the sims.

Moral lesson? If you want a girlfreind, lock yourself in the elevator with a cute girl, it's sure to work.

Musashi

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2010, 03:59:09 am »

I have a dwarf heading this way. First, he lost his left upper arm completely. I can't remember when it happened, it was so long ago, and he was one of my first migrants. He was an amazing hammerdwarf. He got an accident 2-3 years ago where he lost the use of his other arm. In the beginning, he was very useless and acted as if it was his ability to stand he had lost for he wouldn't move for days. I only kept him in the army for his dignity, and also because his son was the mayor. Then suddenly, a few days ago, when the worst Forgotten Beast I've had yet to fight arrived, when my meatshields were done buying time, that veteran kicked and bit the damn thing and only got bruised in the process. He wasn't alone to fight the monster at this point, but damn, he's a damn good kicked, and he's only dabbling. Must check if he has at least his armor on.
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I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

penguinofhonor

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2010, 04:14:01 am »

If they have nothing to do but talk to each other, then talk they shall. From then on, it's as simple as playing the sims.

I know that, but, like, will any dwarven pairing work with enough talking? I guess barring them developing a grudge against each other.
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Max White

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2010, 04:15:33 am »

Even if they grudge, then there talking skills will go up, to a state where they can over come there grudge, and one day still fall in love. A legendary liar can do anything.

Rhaken

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Re: talk about not letting your disability get in the way
« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2010, 06:08:24 am »

Of course, he may have simply crushed the forgotten beasts with his massive testicles.

Forget a spouse, he needs a full time gonad wrangler.

Sig'd. Nearly made me fall out of my chair.
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Of course, he may have simply crushed the forgotten beasts with his massive testicles.

Forget a spouse, he needs a full time gonad wrangler.
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