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Powdered Sweet Pod

Crushed Mermaid Scale

Elven Bone Marrow

Flaked Adamantine

Ground Unicorn Horn

[PsychoAngel]

Oh, man I really need to follow more closely.

I survived! My son survived!

Tears for the fallen, and good work managing this damn thing. Productivity falls into an abyss any time you want something specific to happen, if you haven't noticed. Which is probably why so many FBs are getting inside and killing dwarves, because no one wants to solve the problem before it happens.

[Drazoth]

God damn, being a part of this thread is like playing FNAF.  You have to pay really close attention or a bunch of stuff happens and you die.
Now to play catch up on the roleplay.

Indeed, Fuck Not Another Flyingsnail is a very unforgiving and stressful game.

This had me in tears.  Also, did you know you're on the wiki's quote page Taupe? 
As for 3, any male dwarf will do, although some sort of craftsdwarf would be preferable.

[mate888]

OOC: For the sake of the (morbidly) curious, here's all the named dwarves that survived:

Frankensteen
Drokles II
Mate 888th
Kronk
Pencil_Art
Sculleywr
PsychoAngel II
Psycho III
42

Wait... I am alive?! I AM ALIVE!? But you just said... You...
Oh, phew. Surely it was my little son the one who ran at the snail and not me. Thank God!
...Wait...

[mate888]

Lower Doomforests, spring 1063

-OH GODS OH GODS OH GODS WHY DID I GIVE THE FORT TO THAT HALFWIT!?
Mate and what was left of the Inquisition ran through the lower parts of the fort, trying to reach the other dwarves as they ran upstairs, at least the ones who did not stay down to pick shrooms and sleep.
-I bet this is all the Crundleshaggers' fault! They told me they would do something like this! I bet they are hiding in the caverns, jerking off to all of this death! Look! In the distance! Is he--
-HOLY MOTHER OF CRUNDLE CHRIST AAAAAAAAARGH!
-Oh, nevermind, he's dead. NOW KEEP RUNNING! AND WHERE IS MY SON!?
-Snail?
-NO SON, THAT'S NOT A GOOD SNAIL, THAT'S A BAD SNAIL, DON'T TOUCH HIM!
-Snail!
-NO YOU LITTLE--
-Sna-- *splat*
-OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
-Sir?...
-Screw him, he just went and tried to kiss a giant snail.
-But sir, he was your son...
-He tried to kiss a giant fucking snail. He deserved to die. Now keep running before the thing--
*snail noises*
-Oh no.
The Inquisitors kept running, but the snail was too fast.
-Feb...
-Yes, your Holiness?
-Do you want to go to Heaven?
-Yes, sir, that's why I joined the Inquisition.
-THEN GO SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR THE CAUSE-Said Mate as he pushed Feb into the snail.
-YOU SON OF A BITCH THIS WASN'T ON THE CONTRACT! AAAAAAAAAARGH!
-Ignore him, folks, he's with Armok now!

The priests kept running until they reached the stairs, when they got there, onky three and a half Inquisitors were left, being them Mate, Likot, Kulet and Mothram's torso.

-Well, this was a hard run, and we are only three and a half left, but we survived. And with our enemies dead, we will be able to--
Just as he said that, a posessed dwarf ran past them.
-I AM TECHNOXAN! AND I NEED TO BUILD A TOY BOAT FOR MY CRUNDLES!
-I hate this place.

[PsychoAngel]

Yeah. "Fuck Not Another Flyingsnail" should be on the quote list.

Oh dear, oh dear. Whatever would I do without my work? It keeps me away from the stresses of GIANT SNAILS FLYING into the fortress. I do hope we can do something about it, though.

[mate888]

This is a decently-for-paint done engraving by Mate the 888th. On the image there is an image of the remaining Inquisition members. The Inquisition members look tired of living.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Iamblichos]

This is a decently-for-paint done engraving by Mate the 888th. On the image there is an image of the remaining Inquisition members. The Inquisition members look tired of living.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is awesome-sauce.  And yes, it was Mate 892.

BTW, as best I can determine, the snail got in through flying up through the well.  This is why we always, always, always use a water source that doesn't involve an open hole into a cavern.  That way we can put a grate between the storage cistern and the entrance.  A floodgate on a diagonal is also a good option to keep unpleasant surprises from coming inside (or building destroyers from being able to break it open).

[Max™]

Doomforests: Did you hear that? It sounded like... snail noises.

[PsychoAngel]

What if Uncle Taupe is an FB? What if Mr. Mate is an FB? *Eyes widen* What if Psycho's an FB...?

And it was at this time that the people of Doomforests became really paranoid.

[Iamblichos]

Doomforests: Did you hear that? It sounded like... snail noises.

*sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide*AIIIIEEEEEEEE*sliiiiiiide*AIIIIEEEEE*

[Drazoth]

Doomforests: Did you hear that? It sounded like... snail noises.

*sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide*AIIIIEEEEEEEE*sliiiiiiide*AIIIIEEEEE*

To the quote page with this as well.

Journal of Drazoth III:

The good news is that Kronk was able to survive and tell me what happened.  The bad news is that TechnaXan is dead, and that Mate the 888th is still alive.  Oh well, if he survives till my next reign, for there WILL be a next one, he can be used to test the "Undesirables Disposal Chamber".  I've heard somebody got possessed and is claiming to be TechnoXan....  Knowing this forts' history with necromancy it doesn't surprise me.  He may have even obtained some knowledge of that art from his dealings with the DarkOne....  Oh well, questions for later.  Right now I need to try and see if it really is TechnoXan or just some mad fool.

[OOC]  So, Would someone be so kind as to add me to the turn list?

Also, it just occured to me.  The mad docter was the last of the 7 founders.  A moment of silence is in order.  I also wonder who now takes his place as the fort's oldest resident.  I think it might be our Minister of Agriculture, as he was captured  made a part of our little madhouse during my first turn.  Could you try to confirm this Iamblichos?

[Iamblichos]

The current senior dwarven member of the fort is Frankensteen Rodenbim, who arrived some 11 years ago in Autumn of 1052, during the Limestone migration wave.

Smunstu was captured recruited during the Spring siege, logged in Overseer's notes as the 12th of Granite, 1053.

Frank has him beat by about 6 months 

EDIT: Ugoshuker was apparently sent by TechnoXan's enemies, because he has made it his business to kill every single crundle in the caves.  Serious mad-on for crundles for some reason.

[Iamblichos]

OK, I just played through winter and then it crashed again right before the new year.  I had accomplished wonders, and now I have to do it all again.  Guess I need to switch to monthly saves.

I'm really getting tired of how unstable .40 is compared to .34.

[Gwolfski]

use .42

[Taupe]

Smunstu ran the numbers again. Or rather the surprising lack thereof. For years he had been studying farming and agriculture, concepts alien to most goblins. A year ago he came forth with an agriculture overhaul that would greatly increase food output and crop variety.

Yet sometimes you gotta think outside the box. It was not in elven farming manuals that he found this breakthrough, but from the pile of books ammassed by the doctor over the last years. Gem manuals, occult tomes, diaries and journals, even spellbooks. Weird scriptures had a way of being left under their door. Taupe2 had gathered an unbelievable collection on the dark powers and creatures of this world, tho he feared them and dared not dwell in them.

Goblins were not so scared, for they were oftentimes raised with the notion of demon lords being part of the political landscape. Humans too were in on the surnatural game, and from what he understood many dwarven factions had recently taken to the occult as well. Now leaving all their knowledge fall into those unpravy hands was unwise, Smunstu knew. Yet it was foolish for them to disregard it entirely. Those books were the mad doctor's legacy, and it fell upon him to protect it. But Taupe had also entrusted him with keeping the fort fed, and running agriculture. Somehow those two elements could work together...

As he closed the old dusty millenial journal, he called for his assistant and translator, a girl also named Taupe, which Smunstu assumed was an unofficial term for doctor.

''Make sure you get my name in line for the rutile hat. Use my connection with the late doctor, my seniority here, and my noble status as minister. Do mention that Im the reason the goblin tribes are sparring this outpost while they raid and pillage the rest of the world. It is time my expertise and wisdom be put to use!!
-Right away minister. You are, after all, the only survivor of the great old calamities. Your knowledge of pre-wipe Doomforests may be whats needed to salvage this fortress!!''

The girl left. He ran the numbers once more. If his plans were a 100% successful, the food and booze needs should all become zero. For just as with goblins, there had been, and still are, dwarves in Doomforests who dont require anything from the ministry of agriculture. He closed Osp's journal, and adressed Phylitte Cabinet.

''Say, how would you like to become vice-overseer?''