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Author Topic: Einsteinian Roulette (Original Thread: Rules, Armory, Misson archive 1-11)  (Read 3475010 times)

Caellath

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I was cracking up when I found out you cut the crystal in half. Definitely a DAFUQ moment.
((Not me, it was Feyri.))
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #526 on: April 13, 2012, 03:47:42 pm »

"...well, two halves of a crystal might be just as good as a whole crystal...

Anyway yes, let's get out of here I suppose."


Grab new loot and evacuate!
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Scelly9

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #527 on: April 13, 2012, 05:28:13 pm »

"Crystal? The hell are you talking about? Will someone PLEASE tell me what's going on?"
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
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Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #528 on: April 13, 2012, 05:40:41 pm »

Milno:

"Long story short, I lost an arm and got the power source. We are at the alien elevator, and if you happen to be under us, I advise you to move away and wait until we descend to ride with us. We're going to the extraction point right now."
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

Scelly9

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #529 on: April 13, 2012, 05:42:40 pm »

"Shit. Don't go yet!"
Hobble out of the way of the elavator, giving them a signal when I'm clear
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #530 on: April 13, 2012, 07:33:05 pm »

"...well, two halves of a crystal might be just as good as a whole crystal...

Anyway yes, let's get out of here I suppose."


Grab new loot and evacuate!
Milno:

Get the hell out of the place with Feyri, Faith, Jim and maybe Ivan, if we happen to find him.

<_<
((Funny enough?))
...cut neatly in half in the same place that you cut the tank. Oops.

Feyri looked at the artifact, then at her gun, then back at Faith with a glum expression.

"Well. It looks like we have our treasure. You hold on to it as I'll get Jim.

"Is everyone alright with the aforementioned plan of getting-out-alive?"


Proceed with aforementioned plan if everyone else agrees and if everything is accounted for.

Hand over the treasure to Faith.

Request someone to lend me a spare battery for my rifle, or a temporary hold on any spare weapon.


When we leave, I'm taking point. Faith, you haul Milno and take the rear. Ivan, keep our midsection safe, make sure all wounded are able to move. I'll take Jim. If everyone is alright with this.

We will get out alive.

"...how many wounds can we all sustain again? Wait, nevermind.

"I still think we need to keep watch for automatons. Just in case they have a backup power supply."


((
<_<
^-^))

Together, hefting your newly looted crystalline loot, you take the elevator down and grudgingly pick up Ivan. You move together, hobbling and slowly bleeding, back to the drop off point. A shuttle, different from the skeletal thing that dropped you, is waiting there. It's chrome, tear drop shaped fuselage glitters faintly in the dim star light. You pile into the ship and the hatch closes behind you. Air floods in as the cabin heats itself to a livable temperature. After a few minutes a green light blinks on and men in biohazard suits storm into the cabin. After a thorough going over with all manner of scanning equipment the men remove their suits and begin to care for the injured, stripping off portions of space suits to get at the damaged tissue. A laser scalpel screeches on the molten metal coating Ivan as a nurse pumps Milno full of pain killers and synthetic blood.  Jim is placed in what looks like a black egg filled with some sort of viscous solution, tubes and wires stuffed into his shattered remains. Feyri and Ivan, now free from the metal, have their broken limbs coated in insta-setting cast foam. Faith, for her part, tries to emphasize just how much her broken ribs hurt.

It takes over an hour to get back, but by then everyone but Jim is stabilized enough to move of their own accord. Bandaged and doped on all manner of wonderful drugs you climb from the shuttle and back onto the mothership. One mission down.

>Welcome back. Please deposit any artifacts with the lab coated men to your right. Those with weapons they'd like to return for credit, the armory is to your left. Those with injuries, the infirmary is straight ahead. When everything has been attended to, we shall begin the debriefing.

It looks like the Medics are already pushing that black egg toward the infirmary.

Scelly9

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #531 on: April 13, 2012, 07:42:39 pm »

Get me legs fixed!
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
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IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #532 on: April 13, 2012, 07:55:08 pm »

Deposit crystal. Inquire as to what they think it is.
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #533 on: April 13, 2012, 08:47:58 pm »

Get me legs fixed!
You walk to the infirmary and take a seat on one of the beds there. A man in white, wearing what looks like a respirator and large round glasses steps over. Without saying a word he points some sort of data pad at you and then nods to himself.

"Broken leg. Set already." He mumbles, fishing for something in his pocket. He retrieves what looks like a armband ringed with small black boxes and straps it to your arm. "Pain relievers. Automatic injection. You'll be fine." He seems to think for a second, "Don't jump off anything."

The doctor turns and leaves, waving you away as he does.

Deposit crystal. Inquire as to what they think it is.
You hand both halves of the massive crystals to the men in lab coats, who immediately place them into some sort of mobile stasis field and cart them away. You try to ask them their thoughts on the crystal, but the ones who took it are long gone and the rest simply stare at you.

Quote
>Jim
>Successfully revived. 1 point in dexterity lost.
You wake up to blinding light and try to turn your head away from the source, only to find that you've been restrained somehow. You sigh, or try to sigh, only to find it quite impossible to breathe for some reason. The light is interrupted by a figure, little more then a silhouette standing over you, his features masked in shadow beyond the glow of a pair of large, circular glasses.

"Ah, awake. You were injured. Lower body gone, most of upper too. Arms and head left."

The man looks at something in his hand.

"We can save head and arms. Don't recommend it. Easier for full mechanical replacement. Your choice."

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #534 on: April 13, 2012, 08:55:03 pm »

Jim chuckled bitterly and silently as he was physically unable to laugh. Can't say I remember losing my torso... With some effort, he managed to indicate he might as well get the full body replacement.
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #535 on: April 13, 2012, 09:00:17 pm »

Head to armory, turn in gear for tokens.
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Scelly9

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #536 on: April 13, 2012, 09:12:51 pm »

I haz nothing to do.
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #537 on: April 13, 2012, 09:39:26 pm »

Jim chuckled bitterly and silently as he was physically unable to laugh. Can't say I remember losing my torso... With some effort, he managed to indicate he might as well get the full body replacement.
"Yes. Yes. Good choice." The silhouette says, nodding. "Oh. Brain will be in chest for new body. Try not to get chest blown open again. Goodnight."

The man does something to the thing he's holding and you lose consciousness again.

Head to armory, turn in gear for tokens.
You head to the armory, which isn't much more then a counter set into the wall with a plexi-glass shield around it. A very beautiful and very annoyed looking woman in green coveralls is sitting inside. You pass your hand laser and kits through the slot in the plexi-glass.

"3 kits and one used hand laser. 4 tokens." the woman says.

I haz nothing to do.

>This is a map of the parts of the ship you have access to. If you are ready I suggest you head to the briefing room to await debriefing.

Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #538 on: April 13, 2012, 09:41:08 pm »

((Back guys, reading what I missed and preparing to post.))
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Masters of the Art of Ruining Things.
« Reply #539 on: April 13, 2012, 09:54:16 pm »

Go to the infirmary.
"Ahhaha. So, will I get a mechanical replacement for that sack of destroyed meat?" (For the record, the left arm would have been the one destroyed, having in mind Milno was holding the laser gun with the right when the weapon decided to cling to his left)

Milno laughs and turns in his gear in perfect state in the armory (except for the painkiller, which he gave to Feyri). He also congratulates the armory woman for an efficient use of the airlock system. Oh yeah, also turn in all the alien shit I got.

Contact Steve.
"Hey Steve, could you guys also make a hamburguer of that? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
« Last Edit: April 13, 2012, 10:16:08 pm by Caellath »
Logged
"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.
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