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Author Topic: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior  (Read 16459 times)

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2012, 04:11:40 pm »

Dust clouds are actually a glitch that allows the dwarf that they huskify to look into your files and learn exactly what Dwarf Fortress is and realize that you are their only true enemy.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #16 on: May 26, 2012, 04:12:53 pm »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
The first anvil was a beard, of mighty proportions.

Vodrilus

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #17 on: May 26, 2012, 04:45:30 pm »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
The first anvil was a beard, of mighty proportions.
More like the bottocks of a goblin/elven deity.
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Going backwards in reversed time (just like everybody else).

ObeseHelmet

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #18 on: May 26, 2012, 05:31:26 pm »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
The first anvil was a beard, of mighty proportions.
More like the bottocks of a goblin/elven deity.
'Twas a noble.

MORE ON TOPIC --The Truth about Dwarven Parenting:
Contrary to popular belief, dwarves do not have sex through the air. Dwarven children are like moles which pop off the mothers and then mature (similar to the koobish). This is why dwarven parents are so damn protective of their kids, keeping them on their persons constantly -- the kids are actually them. However, this also explains why they are used as meat shields -- just like using your arm to block an attack to your heart.
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Sabreur

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #19 on: May 26, 2012, 07:28:25 pm »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.

Neither, actually. Dwarfs first used compacted sand to form an anvil "mold" and poured in hot metal. The end result was the first anvil, in which they crafted all other ones with.

Blasphemy!  Armok sent the first anvils as a test, to see which races would unravel the secrets of metalworking and become his favored!  Volcanoes are where the first anvils struck the earth, making it pour forth its molten blood!

The Bard

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #20 on: May 27, 2012, 01:34:50 am »

The sudden, violent arrival of those anvils are why it took so long for coyotes to come out of hiding and start visiting your fort.
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Sus

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #21 on: May 27, 2012, 01:51:23 am »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
Mood, duh.

Urist McUrdwarf had made Metalforge the Paradox of Origin, a cat bone anvil!
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crazysheep

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #22 on: May 27, 2012, 02:11:01 am »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
Mood, duh.

Urist McUrdwarf had made Metalforge the Paradox of Origin, a cat bone anvil!
I can imagine the conversation:
"Urist, what IS that?" "I dunno, maybe we can make metal things with that?" "Let's try!"

As you can see, the dwarven spirit of industry and adventure may have led to that anvil being the mother of all anvils.
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Mitchewawa

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #23 on: May 27, 2012, 02:28:23 am »

Wayward kobold-theif slaps can render even the most badass superdwarf into a coma. Why are dwarven skulls so easily penetrated?

- Their skulls are weakened by pre-existing head injuries. Knowing dwarven mothers, being born head first onto a rock floor would seem like a common accident.
- The skulls evolved to be less dense in order to dislocate the jaw to open it wider like a snake (for booze consumption).

Any more?
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Eric Blank

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #24 on: May 27, 2012, 02:46:59 am »

Wayward kobold-theif slaps can render even the most badass superdwarf into a coma. Why are dwarven skulls so easily penetrated?

- Their skulls are weakened by pre-existing head injuries. Knowing dwarven mothers, being born head first onto a rock floor would seem like a common accident.
- The skulls evolved to be less dense in order to dislocate the jaw to open it wider like a snake (for booze consumption).

Any more?

- The skull is thinner to protect the brain from injury from collisions with large objects, like boulders, or walls (or floors at birth.) The entire brain is mushed like jello, causing surprisingly little damage because all areas are affected equally, thus not shearing or splitting any connections, and dwarven nerve tissue is rather elastic. What they encounter in combat is jabs from small objects that actually tear into the brain with shearing motion, cutting it up, causing unrecoverable damage that is 100% fatal.

Edit;
My question is, why the HELL does Urist think it's a good idea to wall themselves INTO the 1x room I'm walling a corpse into because it's about to be raised from the dead by the evil in the surrounding air, thus ending in Urist being slowly mauled by a zombie ibex?

- He/she is a masochist and they wanted to die horribly with their guts torn out.
- He/she thought they were sealing themselves away from of the horrors of the surrounding environment.
- They wanted a "warrior's death" and were dissappointed to hear that stoneworkers are never assigned militia duty.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2012, 02:53:01 am by Eric Blank »
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Babylon

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #25 on: May 27, 2012, 02:56:10 am »

Wayward kobold-theif slaps can render even the most badass superdwarf into a coma. Why are dwarven skulls so easily penetrated?

- Their skulls are weakened by pre-existing head injuries. Knowing dwarven mothers, being born head first onto a rock floor would seem like a common accident.
- The skulls evolved to be less dense in order to dislocate the jaw to open it wider like a snake (for booze consumption).

Any more?

- The skull is thinner to protect the brain from injury from collisions with large objects, like boulders, or walls (or floors at birth.) The entire brain is mushed like jello, causing surprisingly little damage because all areas are affected equally, thus not shearing or splitting any connections, and dwarven nerve tissue is rather elastic. What they encounter in combat is jabs from small objects that actually tear into the brain with shearing motion, cutting it up, causing unrecoverable damage that is 100% fatal.

Edit;
My question is, why the HELL does Urist think it's a good idea to wall themselves INTO the 1x room I'm walling a corpse into because it's about to be raised from the dead by the evil in the surrounding air, thus ending in Urist being slowly mauled by a zombie ibex?

- He/she is a masochist and they wanted to die horribly with their guts torn out.
- He/she thought they were sealing themselves away from of the horrors of the surrounding environment.
- They wanted a "warrior's death" and were dissappointed to hear that stoneworkers are never assigned militia duty.

It's the fetish for building from the left.  I always assume that's a religious thing.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #26 on: May 27, 2012, 06:39:48 am »

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
Mood, duh.

Urist McUrdwarf had made Metalforge the Paradox of Origin, a cat bone anvil!
I can imagine the conversation:
"Urist, what IS that?" "I dunno, maybe we can make metal things with that?" "Let's try!"

As you can see, the dwarven spirit of industry and adventure may have led to that anvil being the mother of all anvils.
I pose that Dwarves have an innate understanding of how to do things, and simply need the resources to do so.

Urist McFey - GIVE ME YOUR SHINY ROCKS! I MUST MAKE AN ANVIL!
Urist McBookkeeper - What's an anvil?
Urist McFey - I DON'T KNOW. BUT IT GOES IN A FORGE.

~meanwhile~

*You have found a series of magma tubes*

WE MUST MAKE MAGMA FORGES

crazysheep

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #27 on: May 27, 2012, 08:06:25 am »

It's the fetish for building from the left.  I always assume that's a religious thing.
Heck, they do a lot of things from the left. Especially channeling out empty spaces. It must be a religious thing with the dwarves D:

anvils. think about it for a second. kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg.
Mood, duh.

Urist McUrdwarf had made Metalforge the Paradox of Origin, a cat bone anvil!
I can imagine the conversation:
"Urist, what IS that?" "I dunno, maybe we can make metal things with that?" "Let's try!"

As you can see, the dwarven spirit of industry and adventure may have led to that anvil being the mother of all anvils.
I pose that Dwarves have an innate understanding of how to do things, and simply need the resources to do so.

Urist McFey - GIVE ME YOUR SHINY ROCKS! I MUST MAKE AN ANVIL!
Urist McBookkeeper - What's an anvil?
Urist McFey - I DON'T KNOW. BUT IT GOES IN A FORGE.

~meanwhile~

*You have found a series of magma tubes*

WE MUST MAKE MAGMA FORGES
BUT WE MUST HAVE ANVILS FIRST
WAIT FOR URIST MCFEY TO FINISH
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Tirion

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #28 on: May 27, 2012, 08:25:03 am »

A dwarven party is just about standing in a circle, and speaking to each other. They do become friends or lovers there, don't they? And why should they drink there if they are already, always, drunk?
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Aviator CJ

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #29 on: May 27, 2012, 08:50:55 am »

It's the fetish for building from the left.  I always assume that's a religious thing.
Heck, they do a lot of things from the left. Especially channeling out empty spaces. It must be a religious thing with the dwarves D:


And then did ARMOK say, the east is the holiest of directions, and thou shouldst not stand there lest thou be strucketh down by my holiest of beards. And then did the dorfs did say, we shall build from the west, for more do we fear the beard of ARMOK than the strike of the elephant.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2012, 06:42:22 pm by Aviator CJ »
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!!Science!!: Knowledge through magma

There's safe. Then there's unsafe. And then there's the average dwarf fort, which remains unrated because the OSHA inspector flatly refused to go anywhere within a dozen miles of the place.
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