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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 558266 times)

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1050 on: November 03, 2012, 10:41:57 pm »

I believe I know the scientific reason for his head exploding like that, but I think I'll keep it to myself. Funnily enough, it did have something to do with his head (or more precisely, his brain).

I like the inclusion of alternate timelines, gives your turn a certain flavor.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2012, 04:20:00 am by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1051 on: November 03, 2012, 11:17:52 pm »

So after my bin was undone, do I still get a mood, or did it rewind to before that?
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

SpaceKGreen

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1052 on: November 04, 2012, 03:16:52 am »

Echoes from the Horrorfailed forge...

KLANG

'Mok dammit, even tha booze here can't be trusted.

KLANG

Could swear this is tha third time this week I've gone through this damn week.

KLANG

Dammit, I need a drink.  But tha booze's gone bad...

KLANG

And what's that 'Mok damned grinding noise?!

This is a steel axe.  On the item is an image of a dwarf.  The dwarf is confused.

On the item is an image of a dwarf.  The dwarf is confused.

On the item is an image of a dwarf.  The dwarf is confused.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1053 on: November 04, 2012, 03:58:34 pm »

23rd Timber, 508

I’ve been neglecting to write down all that has transpired here in Horrorfailed over the past two seasons. I only know what day it is because the dwarven caravan showed up. I’ve been so busy producing coffins and burying the dead, that nothing else has really grabbed my attention. I’ll try to recount it all here, before I go trade with the merchants.

The human merchants weren't so lucky as the dwarves; one of them didn't make it inside, and their yak took months to die by raven corpse. We had to butcher the lot of them and take their stuff before they could escape again. The elves never did make it inside. No goblins, so far.

We finished that high-pressure wash I wanted and Nexus got herself a shower. It worked perfectly, as far as I can tell, and all the filth that had built up on her was rinsed down into the space below. I think I’ll restrict access to that area, though, because it did not get washed down the drain and instead ended up at the bottom of the staircase, where it poses a risk to anyone who attempts to go down there.

The pump must still be operated by another dwarf, and I haven’t dealt with how to get migrants run through the shower without running halfway through the damn fortress, first. I suppose I won’t get the chance, either.

Nexus has also had a rough ride recently. After I told her to go murder Ncommander if she couldn’t help herself, she did. Now, I won’t say any of us really wanted to see Mego’s entire family die, but we pretty much all wanted to see Ncommander see karma’s ugly backside. Still, I was hoping she’d get eaten by an abyssal horror instead. Tasrak has replaced her as militia commander, and I’ve enlisted a full 8 dwarves to fill the squad. They need to get training, soon, but have no real armor, because we’ve run out of iron.

Nexus, though, was placed in a prison cell and left to rot, until she decided to dig her way out. I shouldn’t elaborate further on the matter, but suffice to say she should watch where she chooses to dig a hole in the future, because she’s now in the hospital with serious laceration and broken bones in her limbs and upper body. Whenever she is released, I’ll just have her shoved back out the airlock, and she can get back to work on our exterior defenses and garbage detail.

I’m off to the depot now. Hopefully the coin-cunts like our offering of mechanisms. They’re very nice mechanisms, at least. Urist Imiknorriss is a legendary mechanic throughout the realm, as are many of us still surviving here. I’ve been told that I’m every bit as good at making coffins as he is at making machines. Not exactly something to be proud of back in the mountain homes, but we need a mountain of coffins for our mountain of corpses.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2012, 04:10:43 pm by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1054 on: November 04, 2012, 07:41:38 pm »

Why Tasrak? He's way too useful to be considered cannon fodder. :V
(I suppose I forgot what fort we were dealing with, everyone is cannon fodder here)

You must've sidestepped my digging designations. Otherwise you wouldn't even need a pressure washer!
« Last Edit: November 05, 2012, 01:28:47 pm by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1055 on: November 04, 2012, 08:50:43 pm »

Oh, was that waht those notes were for, about the axles and such? Yeah, I ignored that...
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1056 on: November 04, 2012, 09:14:08 pm »

Oh, was that waht those notes were for, about the axles and such? Yeah, I ignored that...
Oh, good. I was worried this fort would be sane for more than the first couple of seconds after embark.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1057 on: November 04, 2012, 09:22:17 pm »

Oh, was that waht those notes were for, about the axles and such? Yeah, I ignored that...
No, it's something even better. A lovely waterfall, so to speak.
« Last Edit: November 04, 2012, 10:20:54 pm by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Silverlock

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1058 on: November 06, 2012, 08:38:24 pm »

Oh, was that waht those notes were for, about the axles and such? Yeah, I ignored that...
No, it's something even better. A lovely waterfall, so to speak.

Hot water, I presume?
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"All right boys, let's strike the- *crack* whatthefwarblblub..."
"...Dibs on the pick."
Hidden beneath rusting weapons was a mass of assorted bones. An elf, a goblin, even an ogre. All just waiting for someone to walk by and notice them, like some kind of land mine of horror.

Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1059 on: November 07, 2012, 04:00:23 am »

Oh, was that waht those notes were for, about the axles and such? Yeah, I ignored that...
No, it's something even better. A lovely waterfall, so to speak.

Hot water, I presume?

With a lovely reddish-orange colour?

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1060 on: November 07, 2012, 09:27:41 am »

Oh, was that waht those notes were for, about the axles and such? Yeah, I ignored that...
No, it's something even better. A lovely waterfall, so to speak.

Hot water, I presume?

With a lovely reddish-orange colour?
Nah, it's green/blue. All that lovely goo is good for beard growth.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1061 on: November 07, 2012, 03:51:00 pm »

Don't forget the filmy layer of white stuff. Keeps the dwarves productive, it does so well!
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Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1062 on: November 07, 2012, 04:42:41 pm »

Well, I didn't find anything at all relating to waterfalls, or even a good site to construct an entry shower. Out of time, as well.

Currently I've finished the year and the save and report are coming. Not today though, and possibly not tomorrow if I can't upload from the local library's computers. We couldn't afford the internet/cable bill this month, and I also won't be paying my phone bill for the same reason, so I'm pretty much cut off from the outside world except through the library, for which I hope my library card is still valid, and through the computers at the college, which have highly unreasonable hours (just like my class schedule)

And the fact we're completely broke also means I have nothing to eat tonight. I hope my lab partners don't mind if I'm in an awful mood.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1063 on: November 07, 2012, 06:36:39 pm »

Er... yikes.  Any way we can help out?  Order a pizza maybe?
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #1064 on: November 07, 2012, 07:29:08 pm »

We'll wait as long as we have to, Eric.


In other news, SethCreiyd is next in line.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?
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