Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 32 33 [34] 35 36 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661071 times)

LeoLeonardoIII

  • Bay Watcher
  • Plump Helmet McWhiskey
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #495 on: March 25, 2014, 05:25:38 pm »

I think the joke is now he has a bunch of giant pearls?
Logged
The Expedition Map
Basement Stuck
Treebanned
Haunter of Birthday Cakes, Bearded Hamburger, Intensely Off-Topic

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #496 on: March 25, 2014, 05:32:37 pm »

I think the joke is now he has a bunch of giant pearls?
And a +5 Magic Fridge of Doubling. It fell out of the first joke. On the girl. You know.

...I am the only person in the world who finds this joke hysterically funny.
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #497 on: March 25, 2014, 05:41:03 pm »

Ah, okay, I didn't get that the fridge had fallen out.
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Knit tie

  • Bay Watcher
  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #498 on: March 25, 2014, 05:42:21 pm »

That was very meta.
Logged

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #499 on: March 25, 2014, 05:46:33 pm »

That was very meta.
That's the point. The problem with this thing is that it's damn impossible to tell right. I usually just break into a fit of laughter just before the ending. I am told I look hilarious when I laugh, so everybody also laughs while I try to stammer out the bit where the girl is crushed by a ballistic fridge.

I have this feeling that I shouldn't be finding people being crushed by ballistic fridges hilarious.
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Knit tie

  • Bay Watcher
  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #500 on: March 25, 2014, 05:49:14 pm »

That was very meta.
That's the point. The problem with this thing is that it's damn impossible to tell right. I usually just break into a fit of laughter just before the ending. I am told I look hilarious when I laugh, so everybody also laughs while I try to stammer out the bit where the girl is crushed by a ballistic fridge.

I have this feeling that I shouldn't be finding people being crushed by ballistic fridges hilarious.
As an Afghanistan veteran I know says, "death is not funny only if you know the guy who's dying. Otherwise, it's hilarious."
Logged

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #501 on: March 25, 2014, 05:53:58 pm »

That was very meta.
That's the point. The problem with this thing is that it's damn impossible to tell right. I usually just break into a fit of laughter just before the ending. I am told I look hilarious when I laugh, so everybody also laughs while I try to stammer out the bit where the girl is crushed by a ballistic fridge.

I have this feeling that I shouldn't be finding people being crushed by ballistic fridges hilarious.
As an Afghanistan veteran I know says, "death is not funny only if you know the guy who's dying. Otherwise, it's hilarious."
That's dark. Especially coming from a war veteran. The "doesn't care about anything anymore" trait springs to mind.
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Knit tie

  • Bay Watcher
  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #502 on: March 25, 2014, 06:00:59 pm »

That was very meta.
That's the point. The problem with this thing is that it's damn impossible to tell right. I usually just break into a fit of laughter just before the ending. I am told I look hilarious when I laugh, so everybody also laughs while I try to stammer out the bit where the girl is crushed by a ballistic fridge.

I have this feeling that I shouldn't be finding people being crushed by ballistic fridges hilarious.
As an Afghanistan veteran I know says, "death is not funny only if you know the guy who's dying. Otherwise, it's hilarious."
That's dark. Especially coming from a war veteran. The "doesn't care about anything anymore" trait springs to mind.
Says a dwarf fortress player.

Actually, the veteran is a very nice, well adjusted guy, he just has an extensive repertoire of morbid jokes people invariably tell in the military.

Here's another one:

What's the difference between a taliban and a goat?
How should I know? They both taste the same.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2014, 06:04:46 pm by Knit tie »
Logged

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #503 on: March 25, 2014, 06:06:04 pm »

That was very meta.
That's the point. The problem with this thing is that it's damn impossible to tell right. I usually just break into a fit of laughter just before the ending. I am told I look hilarious when I laugh, so everybody also laughs while I try to stammer out the bit where the girl is crushed by a ballistic fridge.

I have this feeling that I shouldn't be finding people being crushed by ballistic fridges hilarious.
As an Afghanistan veteran I know says, "death is not funny only if you know the guy who's dying. Otherwise, it's hilarious."
That's dark. Especially coming from a war veteran. The "doesn't care about anything anymore" trait springs to mind.
Says a dwarf fortress player.

Actually, the veteran is a very nice, well adjusted guy, he just has an extensive repertoire of morbid jokes people invariably tell in the military.
From this point in greater detail. Thou must deliver the morbid jokes!
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Knit tie

  • Bay Watcher
  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #504 on: March 25, 2014, 06:15:18 pm »

Okay, here's another one:

"What do you say when one of your squadmates dies?"
"Dibs on his wife."
Logged

Comrade P.

  • Bay Watcher
  • For space is wide and good friends are too few
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #505 on: March 26, 2014, 03:58:01 am »

 - What do you feel when you shoot people in the face?
 - I feel recoil of my gun, I guess.
Logged
Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Stuebi

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #506 on: March 26, 2014, 05:22:10 am »

I feel very bad for having laughed at this one, because its stupid AND terrible:

How do you smuggle 3 Jews over the German border?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Im so sorry.
Logged
English isnt my mother language, so feel free to correct me if I make a mistake in my post.

Helgoland

  • Bay Watcher
  • No man is an island.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #507 on: March 26, 2014, 05:31:17 am »

What's the difference between a taliban and a goat?
How should I know? They both taste the same.
If I ever piss you off in meatspace, remind me to run and not look back.

What do you do after shooting thirty [X]?
Reload.

WWII has begun; the Germans are steamrolling through Europe; and Goebbels is attending a party hosted by the Swiss ambassador. When he starts to brag about how Germany could invade Switzerland in the blink of an eye, the ambassador says: "All men in our country are trained as soldiers, and they all have a rifle. Once you invade, there will be an army of a million men to oppose you." "And what if we invade with two million men?" "Then we will each shoot twice."
Logged
The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Knit tie

  • Bay Watcher
  • Consider avatar too slim until end of diet.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #508 on: March 26, 2014, 11:23:31 am »

A Russian joke in similar flavour:

-In America, you have boogeymen, in Germany, you have dwarves, in Spain, you have witches, in Africa, you have ancestor spirits. And what comes in the night to scare you shitless in Russia?
-Partisans.
Logged

Guardian G.I.

  • Bay Watcher
  • "And it ducks, and it covers!"
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #509 on: March 26, 2014, 12:14:12 pm »

A giant banner on a building of an artillery college of the Soviet Army — "Communism is our target!"
Logged
this means that a donation of 30 dollars to a developer that did not deliver would equal 4.769*10^-14 hitlers stolen from you
that's like half a femtohitler
and that is terrible
Sigtext
Pages: 1 ... 32 33 [34] 35 36 ... 316