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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661090 times)

The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #690 on: July 17, 2014, 09:28:29 pm »

A Human, an Orc and an Elf walk into a bar, the Dwarf walks under it.
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Worldmaster27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #691 on: July 17, 2014, 09:30:52 pm »

The Olympian jumps over the bar, and crashes into the drinks.
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pisskop

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #692 on: July 18, 2014, 08:45:39 pm »

A man walks into a bar. He notices no difference in pressure.
Want to know a really terrible bar joke?

A man walks into a bar and pays 6.50 for a bottle of water.
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Dutchling

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #693 on: July 18, 2014, 08:48:51 pm »

vanilla ice bear
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pisskop

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #694 on: July 18, 2014, 08:52:17 pm »

6.50 what?

6.50 WHAT!?
dollars.  $6.50 for a bottle of water.
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

Sheb

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #695 on: July 19, 2014, 03:16:15 am »

In french, we have a few one playing on the double meaning of "café" (meaning a coffeehouse and coffee).

Quote
A man walks into a café and 'plouf'

Quote
A man drinks a café and the chair and tables fall on his face.
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wobbly

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #696 on: July 19, 2014, 02:06:47 pm »

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smirk

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #697 on: July 22, 2014, 10:03:23 pm »

Long-form joke that a Romanian friend of mine likes to tell. It mostly just confuses people, but I like it.

-------------

A reporter from Bucharest is assigned to write a fluff piece on life in rural Romania. So he gets in his car and heads out into the country, driving until he sees a meadow on his left, and in it a farmer standing next to a large flock of fluffy white sheep. He decides it looks interesting enough, pulls over, and asks the farmer if he would like to be interviewed.

"What, you want to know about the sheep?" asks the farmer.

"Sure!" replies the reporter. "For a start.. um... do you raise these sheep for wool or for mutton?"

"I raise them for everything!" exclaims the farmer. "These sheep grow the finest, warmest, cleanest wool anywhere! It's so fluffy and easy to work with, and the sheep don't run around or make a fuss at all when we shear them. Their wool makes the best and the warmest coats, and hats, and scarves..."

Just then the reporter catches sight of a small shabby-looking herd of black sheep, huddled on their own in a far corner of the field. Intrigued, he points at them and asks the farmer "What about those sheep in the corner there?"

The farmer glances over, frowns, and says "Well, their wool is also just fine, just fine. But these sheep here!" - a grand sweep of his arm indicates the nearby flock - "these sheep give the finest, creamiest, healthiest milk you could imagine! It's so rich and full, it never goes bad, and we make it into the most delicious cheeses you could ever hope to taste! Hard cheeses and soft cheeses and crumbly cheeses..."

The reporter nods along, and then motions to the sheep in the corner again and says "What about those sheep, though?"

The farmer waves a hand dismissively in their direction and says "Well, their milk is also delicious, perfect, yes. But these sheep here! They produce the tastiest, tenderest, most delectable mutton in the world! It can't be overcooked, it's always wonderfully juicy; you would never get tired of eating it!..."

The reporter, puzzled now, points yet again to the flock in the corner and asks "Yes, but those sheep there - what about them?"

The farmer shoots an angry look in that direction and says "Well, their mutton is also wonderful, perfect, of course. But THESE sheep here-"

"Look," says the reporter, "what's the deal with those sheep? Why won't you talk about them?"

"Because," says the farmer, "these sheep here, these sheep are mine!"

"Oh, I see!" says the reporter. "Who do those sheep belong to, then?"

"Well," sighs the farmer, "those are mine too."
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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
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hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #698 on: July 22, 2014, 10:09:18 pm »

A Jewish boy walks into a Bar Mitzvah.
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #699 on: July 22, 2014, 10:29:50 pm »

Alright, so, there's this guy. He lives in a house. He eats oatmeal for breakfast.

He'll probably die someday. *ba-dum SMASH*
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WorkerDrone

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #700 on: July 23, 2014, 05:40:05 am »

Someone keeps asking me if I'm alright, but I don't have the heart to tell them I'm half left.
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KingofstarrySkies

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #701 on: July 23, 2014, 11:23:36 am »

Wanna hear a cat joke?

Just kitten.
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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #702 on: July 24, 2014, 07:33:23 pm »

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The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #703 on: July 28, 2014, 01:17:54 am »

Awful and ancient WoW jokes?
Awful and ancient WoW jokes.

Yo mama's so fat I tried to shadowstep her and hit a loading screen.

Why did Illidan get sick after eating some chicken?
because IT WAS NOT PREPARED!

How does a boomkin cut his hair?
eclipse it.

Yo mamma's so fat that chain lightning hits her three times.

How many rogues does it take to kill a paladin?
Two, one to hit the Paladin and the other to wait at the inn.

Yo mamma's so easy her pants have a 100% drop chance.

Whaddya call a bunch of druids taking a bath?
A HoT tub.

What do rerollers and rogues have in common?
They both pick locks.

But yeah, I think I'm addicted to WoW. My microwave just dinged and I yelled gratz at it.
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My cabbages!
[Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]

I am fat, eating is my great joy.

Yoink

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #704 on: July 28, 2014, 01:21:41 am »

I have never even played WoW and most of those cracked me up.
But yeah, I think I'm addicted to WoW. My microwave just dinged and I yelled gratz at it.
Oh gods I can't breathe
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