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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 661111 times)

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4650 on: September 18, 2022, 03:25:43 am »
Injecting bees into your flesh is a bad way to get buzzed.
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4651 on: October 03, 2022, 05:00:21 pm »
The UK is so weird about the proper way to make tea and coffee that you need a law degree to be a barrista
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4652 on: October 03, 2022, 05:14:16 pm »
Quote from: Rolan7 on October 03, 2022, 05:00:21 pm
The UK is so weird about the proper way to make tea and coffee that you need a law degree to be a barrista
Heheheheh

Also today I saw an advert with a misplaced poster
They ended up turning
"Strike gold for the price of silver" into "Strike god for the price of silver."
Their marketing slogan suddenly became a eulogy for Judas
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a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4653 on: October 03, 2022, 05:52:38 pm »
A student asked Confucius how many people it takes to change a lightbulb.
Confucius said "Many hands make light work".
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Quote from: Fluffe9911 on March 08, 2023, 02:45:47 pm
I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4654 on: October 04, 2022, 07:44:44 am »
Quote from: a1s on October 03, 2022, 05:52:38 pm
A student asked Confucius how many people it takes to change a lightbulb.
Confucius said "Many hands make light work".
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot
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TheBeardyMan

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4655 on: October 10, 2022, 08:52:43 am »
My friend's a topologist, so for his birthday, I bought him some Möbius strip themed underwear.

But he wasn't happy - he really got his knickers in a twist.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4656 on: October 10, 2022, 01:08:16 pm »
Ahhh that is painful. I'll have to drown my sorrows at the bottom of a klein bottle now
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4657 on: October 11, 2022, 03:26:18 pm »
Just give the topologist a donut and cup of coffee... Let him decide which he wants it to be.
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4658 on: October 13, 2022, 04:44:03 pm »
I always used to be turned on by the idea of secretly wearing some kinky item of clothing. And, being a pyromaniac, that meant something that was on fire. I actually tried it once, to see if it I could get away with it. I doused my hat in paraffin, set it alight and nonchalently walked about all aflame. But I got a bit self-conscious about it. I mean, it seemed that everyone knew what I was doing. They'd say nothing to my face, but I'm sure they were talking about me behind my back. However much I tried to style it out, I could always feel my ears burning...

(Obviously I don't do that any more. But I've found a different way to satisfy my fetish. Honestly, its conpletely true, just look at my pants!)
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MrRoboto75

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4659 on: October 13, 2022, 06:38:23 pm »
As far as inventions go, whiteboards are truly remarkable.
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I consume
I purchase
I consume again

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4660 on: October 13, 2022, 06:48:17 pm »
Quote from: MrRoboto75 on October 13, 2022, 06:38:23 pm
As far as inventions go, whiteboards are truly remarkable.

It’s not as impressive as a dukdoo.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Ziusudra

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4661 on: October 13, 2022, 07:10:40 pm »
 ::) What's a dukdoo?
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Ironblood didn't use an axe because he needed it. He used it to be kind. And right now he wasn't being kind.

Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4662 on: October 14, 2022, 12:42:15 pm »
The barber of Seville shaves every man who doesn't shave himself.  Who shaves the barber?
Spoiler: I figured it out, I'm sure I'm not the first (click to show/hide)
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4663 on: October 14, 2022, 12:44:55 pm »
Quote from: Ziusudra on October 13, 2022, 07:10:40 pm
::) What's a dukdoo?

Dukdoo deez nuts.

Wait.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4664 on: October 14, 2022, 01:10:45 pm »
(...everybody already knew that the answer was "Quack!", right? That's the only reason nobody said it, shirley...)


I hear that a couple of oil-industry executives have been arrested after throwing flowers at an Andy Warhole picture.

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