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Author Topic: The friendly and polite Europe related terrible jokes thread  (Read 1002011 times)

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6090 on: June 12, 2017, 10:14:57 pm »

Furthermore, it is henceforth forbidden to manspread in the city busses. The busses have been fitted with a sign showing a man sitting with his legs wide, and a big red cross through it.

The manspreading ban is in line with the city's governing leftwing party's policy to denounce macho culture. The city's metro does not join in the ban. This is because the metro is run by the region, which is governed by the conservative Partido Popular, while the busses are run by the city, which is governed by the progressive left Ahora Madrid.

That's so stupid. "Manspreading" is such a bullshit sexist term.
And if you know why people do it, it's not some "Machismo dominance" thing, it's because we have balls and they can get sweaty, hot and uncomfortable.

Seemed like it meant spreading your legs as far as possible, thus being obnoxious, at least that's what the intent seems to be.

Though overall it seems like a stupid sexist term, yeah.
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da_nang

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6091 on: June 12, 2017, 11:24:28 pm »

Furthermore, it is henceforth forbidden to manspread in the city busses. The busses have been fitted with a sign showing a man sitting with his legs wide, and a big red cross through it.

The manspreading ban is in line with the city's governing leftwing party's policy to denounce macho culture. The city's metro does not join in the ban. This is because the metro is run by the region, which is governed by the conservative Partido Popular, while the busses are run by the city, which is governed by the progressive left Ahora Madrid.

That's so stupid. "Manspreading" is such a bullshit sexist term.
And if you know why people do it, it's not some "Machismo dominance" thing, it's because we have balls and they can get sweaty, hot and uncomfortable.
It's also done to avoid putting strain on your muscles so you can sit comfortably. Specifically, the adductor muscles. It's a very neutral position.
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"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
Ceterum censeo Unionem Europaeam esse delendam.
Future supplanter of humanity.

Kot

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6092 on: June 13, 2017, 12:04:34 am »

Want to see something hilarious?
[urk=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BcMI2MGb_g]He woke up before waking up was even a thing.[/url]
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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6093 on: June 13, 2017, 05:35:09 am »

Dayum, I knew special beers had gained popularity over the past few years, but this is crazy.
In ten years time, the total number of beer breweries in the Netherlands has risen from 90 in 2007 to 370 this year.
Most of these are one-man companies.
The number of medium companies (employing up to 5 people) has risen from 20 to 60, and the number of large breweries (more than 5 employees) has risen to 35.

But yeah, what used to be a single shelf in the supermarket for selling special beers a decade ago, has changed to half a supermarket lane today.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6094 on: June 13, 2017, 06:16:56 am »

Dayum, I knew special beers had gained popularity over the past few years, but this is crazy.
In ten years time, the total number of beer breweries in the Netherlands has risen from 90 in 2007 to 370 this year.
Most of these are one-man companies.
The number of medium companies (employing up to 5 people) has risen from 20 to 60, and the number of large breweries (more than 5 employees) has risen to 35.

But yeah, what used to be a single shelf in the supermarket for selling special beers a decade ago, has changed to half a supermarket lane today.

You see people: never loose hope. Even the Netherlands can civilize itself.
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Erkki

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6095 on: June 13, 2017, 08:50:58 am »

Fun times ahead: Finnish government has collapsed.

Potential coalition with Swedish People's Party and Christian Democrats for a majority government; or a minority government; or *gasp* snap election.

Theres quite a bit of silly stuff going on today and right now the situation is very fluid. There have been some stupid and surprising events during the day including PM flying himself to meet the president to dismantle the government only to cancel the thing at last minute, and an open war within a party.

I dont feel very positive about this. Things can potentially become very ugly.
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martinuzz

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6096 on: June 13, 2017, 09:05:39 am »

inb4 Russia annexes Finland to protect Russian speaking fins and flippers.

Makes me wonder though. If a NATO country were to fall into a political crisis that splits the country into two new countries, would they both still be NATO member, or would they be left without article 5 protection?
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 09:08:14 am by martinuzz »
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Erkki

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6097 on: June 13, 2017, 09:08:43 am »

inb4 Russia annexes Finland to protect Russian speaking fins and flippers.

If that happens I wish them good luck trying.

Looks like the three large parties that form the government are trying to kick out unwanted people from one(about half the party) in an interior struggle for power, and theres approximately 5 layers of smoke and mirrors and a lot of reacting to situation on top of it.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6098 on: June 13, 2017, 09:12:13 am »

inb4 Russia annexes Finland to protect Russian speaking fins and flippers.

If that happens I wish them good luck trying.

Looks like the three large parties that form the government are trying to kick out unwanted people from one(about half the party) in an interior struggle for power, and theres approximately 5 layers of smoke and mirrors and a lot of reacting to situation on top of it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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There's two kinds of performance reviews: the one you make they don't read, the one they make whilst they sharpen their daggers
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smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6099 on: June 13, 2017, 09:26:35 am »

inb4 Russia annexes Finland to protect Russian speaking fins and flippers.

Makes me wonder though. If a NATO country were to fall into a political crisis that splits the country into two new countries, would they both still be NATO member, or would they be left without article 5 protection?

Catalonia becoming independent from Spain? No need for a hypothetical, theres a real possibility right there. Still, I don't think a situation like that has ever arisen for NATO, otherwise we wouldn't be asking.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6100 on: June 13, 2017, 09:41:23 am »

The Catalonian matter... is a bit more complex than that, for the record.


As a disclaimer, I do think the Catalonians should get the right of self-determination. For that matter, I also think they deserve an Economic Agreement, which is what they *really* want, and one of the root motives of the current situation.

Now bear in mind
- that pro and anti-independence parties are very matched (if anything the votes slightly lean against independence parties, though paradoxically enough they have a couple more reps)

- That the current climate was born from when the biggest nationalist party (right wing) clashed with the Popular Party (also right wing) over the Economic Agreement matter.

- That both parties have a reason to make noise about Catalonian independence (for and against respectively) because both are swamped by corruption  and need a smokescreen.

- That the central goverment routinely picks a minority sub-nationality to use as a scapegoat for buggery in the rest of Spain. For most of the last 30 years that was us, usually bringing up the matter of ETA, but as the latter disappeared now they're increasingly making noise about Catalonia and fostering anti-Catalanist sentiments.



TL'DR: this is a complex issue in which both major players are all bark and no bite and have a keen interest in keeping barking. Dont expect too much out of this one way or the other

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There's two kinds of performance reviews: the one you make they don't read, the one they make whilst they sharpen their daggers
Everyone sucks at everything. Until they don't. Not sucking is a product of time invested.

Sheb

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6101 on: June 13, 2017, 09:50:03 am »

What is that Economic Agreement you speak of?
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

smjjames

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6102 on: June 13, 2017, 09:52:58 am »

Oh, so, it's closer to a US state (usually Texas, more recently it was California) having a bit of a hissy fit and thumping chest about seccession, but in reality goes nowhere.

It was the first example that came up in my head. Maybe a slightly better example would be Scotland, however, they're practically a separate country from England and are already part of NATO anyway by being in the UK.
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Sheb

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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

scriver

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Re: The friendly and polite EU-related terrible jokes thread
« Reply #6104 on: June 13, 2017, 10:49:20 am »

Oh, so, it's closer to a US state (usually Texas, more recently it was California) having a bit of a hissy fit and thumping chest about seccession, but in reality goes nowhere.

If Texans/Californians were actually a different people that the US has suppressed alternatively attempted to destroy for the last 500 years, yeah.
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Love, scriver~
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