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How fun is SPAMKINGDOM series?

Mind-bogglingly popular game series that you follow from early on and cannot stop, waiting for new installment like a drooling addict.
Long-runner soap opera you're too invested into to just stop watching it.
A fun little comic strip in the daily newspaper that's been around forever.
3/6
Who said it's fun? I didn't for sure.
I'm just waiting here for it to die horribly already so it will stop showing on my Unread Posts list.

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Author Topic: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Houlandin IV of Methiant-Cydwyl!  (Read 750202 times)

milo christiansen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10290 on: April 23, 2018, 02:36:41 pm »

We want to split the place into at least two parts, E seems a good way to get there.
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10291 on: April 23, 2018, 02:37:47 pm »

E We're an Emperor and they are at our mercy, let's act like it.

I like this. We have no issues with poor old King Shapur or his nephew. If the young man is reasonable, we can leave him in charge of one of the two vassal states we should break Parsia into. (We should offer control of the other one to the ruling bloodline of Eval, as reward for their service in this war)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10292 on: April 23, 2018, 02:41:54 pm »

E!
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Hotfire90

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10293 on: April 23, 2018, 02:45:54 pm »

E
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10294 on: April 23, 2018, 02:46:20 pm »

(We should offer control of the other one to the ruling bloodline of Eval, as reward for their service in this war)

The problem here is that, due to certain parts of recent history, the nobles of Eval stopped bothering with monarchy and instead opted for a republic governed by several noble families. Hence it was 'Evalian representatives' who accepted treaty of vassalage.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10295 on: April 23, 2018, 02:48:18 pm »

E

Well as long the Evalians keep acknowledging us as their supreme Emperor it probably doesn't matter that they don't have a direct monarch ruling the area. Plus I mean at least it's still the aristocracy in control. If it were the peasants who were in control then we'd have to do something about that.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2018, 02:50:59 pm by Prophet »
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A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10296 on: April 23, 2018, 02:58:47 pm »

(We should offer control of the other one to the ruling bloodline of Eval, as reward for their service in this war)

The problem here is that, due to certain parts of recent history, the nobles of Eval stopped bothering with monarchy and instead opted for a republic governed by several noble families. Hence it was 'Evalian representatives' who accepted treaty of vassalage.

Yay! Nitpicked by the GM! I'm sure if we invite them to elect somebody from their ranks to rule half of Parsia, they will come through for us. The main idea is to reward Eval (although I guess a cash payment would also work on that front) and to put somebody foreign in charge so that the two halves of Parsia will eventually grow apart in terms of culture.
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10297 on: April 23, 2018, 03:03:01 pm »

Well there is always the option to appoint our brother Seann to act as governor of one of the halves of Parsia. It gives him something to do that isn't drinking and gives us a direct link to the area.
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

crazyabe

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10298 on: April 23, 2018, 03:13:29 pm »

E.
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helmacon

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10300 on: April 23, 2018, 03:23:08 pm »

E

but I still like the idea of A...
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Weirdsound

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10301 on: April 23, 2018, 03:23:21 pm »

Well there is always the option to appoint our brother Seann to act as governor of one of the halves of Parsia. It gives him something to do that isn't drinking and gives us a direct link to the area.

At one point, I remember asking about having one of Cyl's kids become the Duke of Eval after Cyl put down a round of rebellions there. Haspen said that Methianese law forbids close blood relation between vassal and master, or something along those lines.
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mightymushroom

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10302 on: April 23, 2018, 03:27:40 pm »

B

May be too late to win the vote, but Bjern is also Wise: he would make an excellent negotiator without the nephew having to run back and forth to consult the bedridden king.
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Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10303 on: April 23, 2018, 03:28:33 pm »

E
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Haspen

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Re: SPAMKINGDOM#: Emperor Yoe III of Methiant!
« Reply #10304 on: April 23, 2018, 03:39:36 pm »

You ask for this Alalkan over to Methiant.

1167 AD, Late Winter

Prince Alalkan is nowhere as scary as his uncles or cousins; he is of short stature, has a pleasant face and his beard is neatly combed, not long and pointy like that of other Parsian royal. However, like all Parsians, there's a tint of confidence and arrogance present in the youth.

On the other hand, he is about Bjern's age.

You drill him for questions.

"Where are Princes Manipur and Dashir?"

"Dashir fled before Manipur's strength, and Manipur fled before your Army, like a duo of covering dogs they are." His voice, while loud and condescending towards his family, is rather calm. "Dashir's supposedly fled to Gubtas or Suravayas or maybe further east to Chupa. Who knows. Manipur fled to the mountains with few of his most loyal supporters early in the year and we haven't heard of him since." Your courtiers murmur as the obvious question rolls onto your tongue.

"So if Manipur fled, why you folk didn't surrender?" Alalkan scoffs a bit.

"You underestimate our honor! We would not surrender till we were beaten, and even then, we awaited the order from King Shapur. He never told us to stop fighting you, so we never did."

Next question.

"Where is Princess Abis and her children?" This question puts Alalkan off; it takes him few moments to even remember who your nieces and sister-in-law are, apparently.

"They're dead by now, mostly. Princess Abis was welcomed back by King Shapur, but noblemen at the court and the shahs in the army weren't very charitable towards her. Her son Alif was slain by your soldiers; her daughters had to abandon the faith of Alldivines and claims in your lands and were married off to some peasants or mayhaps caravan masters. We do not keep track of their fates. As for Abis, she was always torn between Methiant and Parsia, and fell deeper into sadness and loneliness. I believe it was three winters ago when she drank elixir made of redthorn and lionbane, and killed herself. Neither the court nor King Shapur shed any tears." There's some grumbling in your court about this cruel and most dishonorable fate that befell members of Methiant royal family, some almost taking all this quite personally, but they quieten when you raise your hand to bring order.

"What of Gubtas? Manipur won a war against them, I want some details"

"Manipur's soldiers stormed the Palace of Gubta, killed their Emperor and enslaved many of their noble wives and maidens. Manipur demanded money and oliphaunts and other luxuries in return for letting Gubta live as they did before. Their defeat shook their country quite hard, or so we heard. Surely their pride and vanity served them this fate. We took no lands nor imposed any restrictions or further treaties upon them."

All most important questions have been answered.

"You were brought here to negotiate terms of treaty between Methiant and Parsia."

"And I will do so, on behalf of King Shapur, may his name always be blessed. My uncle recognizes that we were beaten, but has ordered me to not give up our faith or our ancestral lands-" Alalkan knocks on his chest with his left fist. "-and I'm going to fulfill his orders. Imprison me in deepest of your dungeons, Emperor Yoe, and I shall still not yield."

You decide to...

A) Begin negotiations with Alalkan of Parsia.
B) Entertain Alalkan's suggestion, throw the brat into the dungeon and send for another, more compliant, envoy!
« Last Edit: April 23, 2018, 03:41:13 pm by Haspen »
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Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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