Dear zeitgiest of drillmines,
Having at one point in my life, long before I was raised to my most deserved position among the nobility, been a common dwarf like yourself, I have had ample opportunity to observe these so called "unfortunate accidents" that you and others like yourself so euphamistically referr to. I have taken upon myself to never pull any strange lever in any room that has any of the following characteristics, no matter how lavishly furnished:
A mysterious sulfury smell.
Uncharacteristically warm in temperature.
Freshly carved or laid stonework, especially if it looks out of place.
A faint but lingering odor of charred flesh, blood, or vicera.
A mysterious cloying dampness.
A faint smell of mildew.
Is very distant from my bedroom or the food stockpile.
You will not be tricking me into releasing a hellish hoarde of shriveled crundles into the room with me, or into inadvertantly drowning myself, or into performing an unfortunate smelting accident.
Now kindly get to work making me a crystal glass bed and a slade armor stand to go with the crystal glass window I wanted. I intend to host some important guests soon, and I can't stand that they might discuss that wretched mayor's brass armoire instead of my far more appropriate and sublime furishings.
Perhaps the mayor would be interested in pulling that lever? He's not terribly important anyway, you petty rabble will just elect another to replace him, like always.
Luxuriously yours,
Baron of drillmines